I was never told as a child
                        that
            if you don't yell
                            nobody will hear you
                      never told that
                              they only ask how you're doing
                 to hear you say
                                              "fine"
that
   ­                    when you adapt to your environment
                 you will only grow gills
  as opposed to
                                             wings
and
                             they expect you to grow up
                 but you cant
             if you don't accept
                                  that you must envelope
          a particular taste
                                                for the endless obsession
                       of order                              &
                                        society
lumped
         ­                into one overflowing mass
                      of man-made obstacles
                                                       ­ ...an over complication
                          ...a self indulged struggle

                 they never tell you these things
                                      as if it were etiquette
                                   to blindly follow
                   all the others
                                                   to their inevitable
      self destruction
                                                     ­   only on this earth
                                            were we destined
                                                  for a slow death
                                                 by our own hands
                                                    our own minds
                                                         own minds...

                            do you
                                                  own your mind?
program your thoughts
                                                     or your thoughts
          will be
                                               *programmed

I am desperate to find that sense of normality
I grasp for it
as if it is water
and I haven't had a drink for months.

I am desperate to find comfort in my life now
Rather than later
I am tired of waiting and feeling
as if I am an alien
in my own skin.

I am desperate to start living
I am stressed out
and tired of watching life
pass me by
as if I am invisible.

(a.d)

I just want someone to care.
To notice, when I'm not there.
To stay by my side.
To let me cry.
I don't want to be judged.
I just want to be loved.
I don't care how far,
I don't care if you've receded,
I just want to know
that I am needed.
It's not creepy.
Certainly not.
It's just odd,
to read what's been thought.
I love the imaginary,
who exists.
I love the birds,
and bees.
I love the sky,
and seas.
I'm waiting.
I'm watching.
Watching the world.
Thinking about it,
I've come to notice.
You help me even now.
Because I don't know who you are,
I spend so much time thinking,
wondering,
contemplating elatedly,
to the point I don't even think,
about..
the world anymore.

All I care about it this beautiful,
wondrous,
ponderous,
distraction of mine.
And this image in my mind,
it may not be you,
but I may know some day.
This love is true.
This love is so much.
I don't even know what to do.
This love of mine,
I await.
I will wait.
I'm waiting.
I'm watching.
Watching the world.
The world will pass me by,
and in the end..
I will have you,
and hold your hand.
The collected dust,
will tell a story.