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God's Oracle Aug 12
As I navigate thru the hurls of Life my mind gravitates towards the seductive temptations that linger in the subconscious mindset that I have attained via constant repetitive behaviors that scar me beyond my control and understanding. I hold onto my faith and my sublime thought patterns that perturb my inner soul. Unknowingly recollections of subjected torture and sorrow that I am involuntarily accustomed to...I recite a prayer to my Holy Lord that he remove this impending feeling of agitation and aggravation towards how my mind works and self sabotages it's sober state of being. Maladapted and a Degenerate ******* I am because I do NOT have the strength nor courage to remain in constant contact with my inner self to be able to control my impulses to use Narcotics. Truly, I have finally realized am powerless and deathly spiritually sick with endless intrusive thoughts of ******* on a suicide mission alleviating the symptoms by succumbing to escaping reality thru the Narcotic Amplification slowly self destructing by the utilization of this ******* substances that keep me trapped chained and imprisoned within my body's constantly nagging me to continue to use the drugs to escape my feelings, thoughts and emotions...am left exhausted and incompetent to deal with Life's struggles and circumstances. Without doubt I know I need to learn to retain my sobriety NO MATTER THE COST. I cannot allow myself to continue to indulge in this illegal substances to temporarily make me feel better make me feel special make me feel extremely desensitized from my current problems I cannot afford to keep running like a ******* coward I must learn to face Life on Life terms...maintain my impulses under control retain my spiritual growth and keep grinding towards keeping my commitment to myself to NOT use anymore because it's slowly making me evil more devilish more violent more sinful and in the end it's just killing me to know I am not practicing self care nor loving myself enough to NOT practice this erroneous behavior that it's making me hate myself more and more daily because it's total insanity to continue to contribute to slowly **** myself due to the fact am literally paying for death every time I use drugs to deal with Life. A decade of this **** **** am so done with it... please Holy God take this punishment away from your Son who without fail believes in you loves you and has unfailing faith that does NOT shake because I rely on Christ to keep me alive and well. Enough of this madness I have walked thru enough darkness to know that am literally losing my willpower to maintain my health, happiness, comfort, belief, faith and livelihood. God I pray thee you relieve my destructive addiction and relieve my painful past allow me to LET IT GO...I know I will continue to fight this enormous disease with a strong composure and continue to sanctify my temple slowly but surely...God May You Walk With Me Thru This Journey Now & Till My Death. Amen!!!
A decade of addiction.
Mark Wanless Apr 22
the cold winter bite
i am tracking the prey close
bear killed i shall ****
Daksh Apr 14
If there shall be me
There shall be knowledge

There shall be you?
There shall be a home
Places to sit, the flower bed
and watch you eat ice cream.

If there shall be anyone?
there shall be love
there shall be bonds, broken; unbreakable

With you, there shall be memories, teachings, things you cannot comprehend

And with you, there shall be me
sitting on a bench, thinking about us and how
we'll be set apart forever

For I have always loved you
but I don't anymore.
Bhill Sep 2020
when the moon is full and very, very bright
you have to look twice and respect the sight
it's been coming around, since the start of it all
when it's at it best, it appears like a ball
that ball is bright if the clouds are just right
shining in the new day as it completes its night's flight

Brian Hill - 2020 # 240
Rahul Tanna Mar 2020
I shall live or not,
But I'll keep you up eternal in my words.
I shall wither with age,
But I'll resurrect ages for our love.
I shall tear & break,
But I'll keep you intact & stitched.
I fight with you like life,
But I will fight the life for you.
I have been in love,
Like the sun loves the sky.
I have been love,
Like the night loves the stars.
I have been in love,
Like dreams love sleep.
I have been in love,
Like candle loves flames.

I have been in love with you,
I will be in you with love.
You will stay in love with me.

We are in the loop of love.
We are the love in loop.
ro Feb 2020
through your ethereal eyes,
through the greens,
is an untold story,
i shall unfold.
where shall I send my poems?**

to my eyelashes,
for they beat irregularly
unconcealed and unconscious
like my poems

to my fingertips,
where they are released fluidly
they grasp, strained and staining, tapping breaths
like my poems

to my smile,
fleeting and happy weeping fortuitously
a lifetime of a whisper, glimpsed and gone
like my poems

to my brain,
where they are symmetrically born only to die ceremonially
a fireworks duration evaporating into a rich velvet
like my poems

like my poems,
none will survive me,
blemishes, pockmarks, beauty marks, residues,
in a flash bang born, in a flash bang consumed

3:08am dec. 9 2019
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