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Memories like broken glass
                     fill my heart                    my sensible soul
                                    shards of you
                  Tattering this perspective
                                  Leaving a broken person
                                                       behind                        these eyes
                  This Kerouac perception
                                       mounted on confusion
               for                                                      feelings left
            Baffling me like a child
                                                         Thunder and rain my
                    only solace
                                                       dark clouds             my psyche
mutually bound
                                      Like hurricane Galveston
   ripping apart               these thoughts                 these transgressions
                                     mortally comforting
          like cigarettes on Sunday
                                                             reaching forth      
               grasping at straws                                   so they say
                                                 they always say
but do they feel                                                  as I've felt?
                            alone                &                 tempered
                                       as glass
the glum periphery                                engulfing
                                        melting me down                     eating away
       into a pool of nihility
                                                   to harden              to break these chains
feels outdated          unscripted nonsense
                        in the background of my memories            souvenirs
      a setpiece             based on untruths

                                          sheer              crystalline              matter

They call
Kiss me
                           Take me to bed

                                    punch me in the nose
                            ****** my mind with your rage

                                                                   and forgive me nothing
Hold me tenderly
                       as your friend
                                                        and      keep      my secrets
                          Interlock your fingers         into mine

show me your eyes
                                  allow me the depth of your soul
                            the chance to kindle
                                              your intricate loveliness

Feel something         &
     allow yourself to feel it first
                                                        before tearing it apart for answers
It's extraordinary. Today my existence felt like a cloud. A cloud of luminous star stuff, billowing in the dark. A feeling of spacious wonder and cosmos. Like I was within this void cloud, succumbing to the ether of nothingness and consciousness at once.

Such serendipity filling my lungs, tracing my heartbeat. I had no clue at the time. My absence of knowledge like the innocent breath of a thousand newborns.

Fleeting existential begrudgery and the radiance of every sun. I imagine the beep beep beep of luminescent wonder as the thought of light reaches my senses. A guitar solo and distant beat enchanting my soul.

But in reality, I sense nothing. Not a cold winter morning, with fog on the window from warmth. Nor the buzz of insects from spring air, breathing life into the Earth's harmony.

The tingle I feel is in my reminiscent stardust memories. Of life before life. Feeling before it was felt. Sounds before they were heard and only vibrations of the mind. Of sight being nothing more than annoying bright lights before they were calculated into something more understandable.

This is the beginning of such a beautiful moment. Indescribable and an explosion of the senses. The background beat of a chorus. The vibrance of a photograph. The contrast of a black and white movie. The boom of bass against an orchestra of sounds.

The feeling of a loved one's touch. The sound of thunder rumbling. Seeing your first array of black clouds engulf the stratosphere. The cold envelopment of raindrops covering your delicate skin.

All of life's beauty doesn't have to seem beautiful at first. Just give it time. Just give. Time.

We're all stardust here.
   Sense of self
               Is wearing down
      I feel the corrosion
            In my head
                              My body
                                    And soul
              an unkindled fire
              a sea of flames
      The 'thump thump'
                                of my heart
                     Slowly drowned out
      The thunderous boom
               Of those around me
Self actualization
the tip of my tongue
    They have no notion of past or present,
    everything is about oceans.
    When they ask for you
    it is really a story about seeing the ocean.
    VISITOR #1:
    Listen. It is failure of bridges that builds angels.
    Is this the depression
    we've all been experiencing?
    VISITOR #4:
    Please have a seat and forget the edge of that coast,
    you were not intended for this distance.
    I believe we're all owed an explanation.
    Where is this manifest?
    I've never ridden a horse, I am being dreamed about.
    VISITOR #1:
    You would not believe
    the stories redwoods have.
    You each get one phone call.
    But the voicemail I've been trying to reach,
    all morning,
    is full.
    "I dream of psychiatrists telling stories
    about dreaming of women
    they've seen in unedited videos on the internet.
    Sometimes they save her from that burning nightclub."
    VISITOR #2:
    If you're going, leave your voice
    somewhere in a room I know.
    We would have no need for phones if you didn't invent distance.
    VISITOR #2:
    There are trees that become stained with a purple blossom.
    During summer the blossoms fall and shadow around the trunk
    like a violet negative.
    What a beautiful dimension that must be.
    They pull her skirt down to examine the body,
    palms pour from a sidewalk in L.A.,
    everything is cracked-
    "My god she's beautiful, huh?"
    I think I met them before,
    a long time ago.
    What happens next? Come the exit of electricity from the body;
    on a long enough time-line all weather radicalizes and the people
    will grow into trees.
    You can read about that hollowness and never be prepared for it.
    It’s like standing on the edge of an overpass,
    and being completely empty of the urge to jump.
    This is what I remember:
    instructed to reenact creation
    she throws clothes
    from an open window above the 60 freeway.
      "You have to imagine there are people,
    surrounding you and talking"
This is not mine! The original is from Jamie Garcia. He does not post anymore. Otherwise I would link him. Brilliant and indispensable it needs to be recognized.
I faintly remember
           a time
                           I stopped breathing and
     explored my breath
                      That moment we introduced mysteries to our bodies
                      and our souls
         walked the empty streets for awhile
                                      eventually entered a realm of human beings
           all while stuck in our own world
                                            yet still conscious
                              experiencing the unbelievable
                                               you with an ex
            Me with the trees and
                                           Freelance Whales echoing in my ears
                   Kid Cudi reminding me to
                               Walking along the tree shaded street side
                        Stopping every 5 steps so you may text                              your then beloved
and myself
focusing on the flowing being of

the world

eventually making it to the theater
                we stumbled upon your dad

scaring the ever loving ****
out of us and our future...
            but you handled it
we proceeded to watch our movie believing in a
higher power

watching over
this feeling...
I could believe nothing else

It was my interpretation of a god
emmett, I, love, you
I am forefronted on the balance
Of loneliness
& hope
It's too bright to know where I am
& too dark
to see where I'm going
So I'm cruising along
Doing my thing
Acting a fool
I didn't seem to have much interest
in anything
And it vaguely marred my visage
Not understanding how
Being in another part of the world
It changes you
I don't remember
the exact moment everything changed
I just know that it did
One moment, I was impenetrable
The next
my heart was beating outside my chest
Exposed to the elements
I am a child trapped in a man's body
And it's so bright outside
But too dark for me to see anything
That matters.
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