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Often not, is prayer
In fear of God
But of our fellow man
you know why i write?
because you do
but every message hurts
because i no longer trust you
believe your intentions pure
and you claim i don't know you
then that's on you
because, who have i been talking to
a liar? someone who misleads and plays games? or is your mind so warped you can't think straight?
like me
anyway
if you're going to
just leave
She comes in waves.
In vibration, pulsating;
In a silken grave.
Writhing, in pain and in pleasure;
Gyrations, a grind of leisure.
Bucking in the saddle;
Riding hard, and giving pressure.
On the range, right at home;
One who meets the measure
the next time i dream
i want to remember i'm dreaming
so i can soar
so i can fly
and alter its reality to my vision
to terraform the mind
but who says you must take the reigns,
there's lucidity to you now,
but must you wrestle control?
Ha
Ha
can't help but laugh
at the people that detract
simply from being offending
"And it is I
Deciding where & when, if,
¹ You shall go."

"And it is I
Who rows from shore to shore
² Ferrying each passenger."
1 - From the "underworld." The ovaries, ******. Cycles

2 - From the "shores." The fallopian tubes, ******. Birth
Bacchus was the title
Conferred to those responsible for ¹"gardening."
Zagreus, lineage of Zeus but son to ²Hades, bore another title.
The "Zageuri" lead in the night.
There were no feasts of raw flesh, but many dances and celebrations while they tended to "The Great Fire."
Of the Zageuri, Zagreus lead.
The title, rendered in Latin, is like Noctus Rex.
You see, on islands, humans have the capacity for an incomparable amount of exertable control over that of their environment.
Those of the lineage Zeus & ³chosen sons of the "God" had, along with the Baccuhi, relocated or slayed the majority of the island's predators.
All those who would not be or could not be companions, like Lupus & Lybica.
The few remaining were nocturnal.
The relocation or slaying of them, any & all nocturnal predators,
Fell to those responsible for when Darkness dawned & Night reigned.
Those "descendants"  of Hades, lineage of Zeus.
And in that, "The Great Hunt," we found among the elusive,
As we had found among the obvious,
Many other intelligent animals.
Many welcomed companions.
Wherein was birthed the Zageuri title,
Noctus.

The Nocti, the owls.

Gardeners in their own right,
Yet still hunters.
1 - Scale, methods, resources expended, et cetera are closer to what we would call terraforming. Proto-terraforming.

2 - Hades being in charge of the "night shift," within this context. Nyx of his lineage. Hades of the lineage of Kronos, but son to Khaos.

3 - As in, they themselves proved they were worthy enough to make their own decisions. They are "children" because they have chosen. Chosen that specific order/family.
wonder what he knows
that you talk to me this way
send what you've sent
or would you say he's oblivious?
jade
a stone
hard to crack
especially when
it just lies
or hides
misleads and omits
things convenient
you must actually
think me an idiot
Eyes of anthracite, ignite-
Fuel for my waning spirit
Food for my hungry soul.

Her rays mirrored sunlight,
And I, a humble acolyte:

Happily dirtying myself to worship coal.

The decades of pressure
Stifling in leisure, tiny slivers of pleasure.
Harsh force of demand.

Idle gem, form of a diamond:
Unaware of her own worth.

How often, is ignorance our ruin
And ourselves, our own undoing.
To eat our own words:

How it hurts
these talks
stalling to reorganize
digging themselves in
time to strategize
lick wounds
recoup
wipe the tears
placing pennies on eyes
even in the ranks of the angels
there is no status
they could give you
When one withholds their perspective,
This is the most sour grape.
That is like wine gone bad,
Caustic & acidic.
Destructive to the natural flow
Of the great amphoras.
cause i like it
cause i like it
when you cry
it's like ecstacy
for every ounce of pain
you've caused me
i don't want you to die
and prematurely
end your suffering
prolong it all
watch you bleeding,
happiness ain't for me,
stab at beauty
it's reflection is ugly
inside
what you hide
festers faster
than if you hadn't
there was never
a happily ever after
Old man stroked his chin,
Rubbed his forehead
And ran his hands through his hair.
He cleared his throat,
Tightening the slack in his line,
He was a regular killick in his time -
Youth was short, but was it fair.
These days it's just a simple trolling boat,
And he casts his rod overboard
But he's not been bringing up a lot.
Waitin' on that change in the wind.
would it have been the same
yes, but it would've meant a lot to me
i used to think you had changed
but there's no differences to you
only contraries
and you're full of doubt and self hatred
earse this mistake miss
of us ever having knowing
you're off to the races
cause this basket case is
overflowing
i can barely keep my eyes opening
listening to everyone whine about inane ****
that they'll do really nothing to change
are you really going to quit vaping?
really?
stop your drinking?
finally get "in-shape?"
what's this years resolution?
guess what man, i don't ******* care
keep it to yourself, i could give a ****
do something for others
selfish *****
Hope Santa kicks it.
cronies spit on meritocracy
hucksters love the aristocracy
and grifters don't care
so long as things go their way
another check, another day
if you got them greenbacks
you get a say
otherwise, zip your lips
and walk away
I'm so glad you could make it
to think
it never happened if you had hesitated
you better watch out
it's not life on a cloud
if you choose to live loud

and it's not pride
cause I'm not proud
it's just a visage I wear
a mirage, facade, a shroud

foaming at the mouth
can't let it come out
slowly stop the ache
and live
on the edge
slovenly soluble loves
from hearts that ache
that can't imagine being
on their own
being by themselves
could you blame them?
you are just such a sham of a person
and you say you live
your life for others
but how much you do for yourself
things that serve your self interest
give it a rest
with the self righteous nonsense
or is your head
so far up your own ***
you think yourself conscientious?
the cigarette smoke
laden in the air
threw the pattern seeking portion of my brain
and i saw you
as free as i had always thought of you
without the hardships of this harsh reality
it made me sad
to think of you
with how you were at the end
but you're happy now,
with hope
You worry about the harm one could do?
I'm worried about the harm being done.

You're worried to offer an inch?
I tell you, grab a hold of my arm!
if they're the right person
there are no missed moments
they make the moment
take it
and don't bemoan it;

what might've been
You can play like a big cat but
That's still just a kitty,
And I hear you roaring yet
They sound like meows to me.
Other felines especially like fish,
You purr at the taste of meat.
Blood dye whiskers,
Fresh enough when pulse still beats
And colors tread in cheeks;
She was just a thirsty drunk
And I, a glass of whiskey.
when you shine
that somber sullen moonlight
on my shade
it doesn't brighten my night
overcast, though you bring light
i am only for you
in your bad times
and when mine are
you are afar
sight, for eyes sore
when you should be fair
to a lover who cares
not cast me aside
like apple core
The scalpel is much like the pen,
In the hands of caring & skilled surgeons.

Tuna, Sturgeon, Trout.

If you loosed a seam
Stitch it or cauterize it - heal it,
Otherwise it's all down-stream.

If you offend,
Make right by making amends;
You are stricken by lightning.

If you misrepresent,
Apologize & correct your error by proper interpretation
Or to the caves be sent!


Judge not the judges,
For you are one & this inclination is only a natural one,
Lest you receive an unjust verdict.
Hermes - Lineage of Hades, but son of Zeus.

Tuna, Sturgeon, Trout - "Placeholders"
Get disconnected,
And find you are detached from life.
Your fight becomes for the trivial,
And what is obvious to others
Eludes your sight.
You are choked up and smothered,
The fire you started, snuffing out all oxygen-
No longer beneficial.
And then you die
If I can not foster respect from you
In action and in word;
If nothing is ever good enough for you
My respect, you haven't earned.
If you cannot accept me as I am,
You are the problem.
Because I am only human
Hi
Hi
close your blinds
i can see in
close your eyes
i can feel them
and when i look inside
you seem to hide
so close them
off to me
off to the world
and shut us all out
if you have to
i'm here though
in charity
i feel myself unburdening things
that otherwise would have weighed heavy
and would have escaped
any scrupulous gaze
i could give
what a stalwart these hearts are
despite all they endure
and these hands the same
i tender to the mind
and kindle the tinder
of dreams
shaven off hopes and desires
painstakingly, a bit begrudgingly,
i carry on
So much to say, which means so little;
So little to say, what that means much.
These ends we face, often,
Come on fast and taper out just as such.
What that remains: naught but thought.
Loose and multiplicitous as strands,
Hair of the artist's brush,
Colors as the richest palette -
Bold & bright, deep & dark
Call me an animal,
Don't stand between me
And a fresh cut of meat

Hard to believe, we're the same mammal
In a stand-off, with one who bleeds
But not like me

Of that same air
Our lungs take in, we both breathe in
Scents of a different breed

**** your homogenies
Don't need a lecture on my biology
And you can keep your philosophy
If it comes from a book riddled with prophecy

Wicked kind of dichotomy.
In a country that pushes for peace
But funds war,
Who is it for?

Not the ones fighting
Not the ones dying
Riding them ponies and calling'em stallions
you're not like anyone else
neither am i
so stop comparing me to the people of your past
and i won't compare you to mine
Hmm
Hmm
Badoo
Let's swing!
Find me a date
Find me a friend,
All I have, seem to be
Only fans.
the sooner you get it through your head
that i love you
the better off we'll both be
even if you don't love me
it's a situation like
c'est la vie
sometimes
it's one-sided infatuation
it's all good
but the denial is frustrating
i regret the havoc
our meeting has had
in your life
and all the anguish i've ever caused you
i know you do too
but i would do it all again
I'm sure the phenomenon is
Far wider-spread than
At any other time throughout history.
The want to have been born,
Decades or years before,
And I think it's easily attributable.
Inundated with knowledge
It is hard to come to some consensus
Among peers,
Likewise it is difficult
To be in a situation you'd rather not
Able not only to conceive
But receive, every scenario you could think of.
Many of which would be the least bit better than the reality currently ascribed
i write violent
for a pacifist
and talk harder
hope if i die
****** or suicide
they hold me up
as a martyr
at least my death
would've meant something
i would never do nothing
save for self defense
unless it's to save another
take the bullet for a stranger
i like new experiences
never a hole in the head before
but i've my share of dents
is my head up my ***
am i making sense

take it all back
if i could
do it different
yes i would
cause i can't i seem
to get you out of my mind
think it'd have been better
if you were never there
rewind time
wormhole away
to past days
i'll never love the same now
to you
that's okay
it ain't your fault
things turned out this way

say what you say
i won't be there to listen
you're never there for me
your care is a figment
of disturbed imaginations
come back any day
if you changed
but you don't give a **** to
there's not a thing wrong with you
and turn it around
on some other ****
eight years with you
and of the few times we make plans
you flake
but it's my mistake
toxic, because i'm angry it didn't go my way
small minded thoughts
i'm mad because you don't respect me
say how i feel
but act like you never even asked
if you do
reaching out, my task
like texting back
one missed and
communication is snapped

you don't have to know
what you want
don't worry about it
but we can't be friends
because you don't treat me
like a friend
and boundaries
you haven't heard of them
fin, fin, fin?
one day to begin again?

lol, probably be dead before then
woke up
with the sound
of jet engines
thundering, overhead
streaming the sky
brush strokes on high
of red and black

jumped at
straight back
from the bomb
they dropped
square in my living room

walking away
another day
i'll be back
when dust settles
amidst no attacks
on the sandy soil
of my
homeland
in her clenched hand
she held a rose,
recently wilted

i saw its thorns
dug into her palm
like wire barbed


small and unassuming
gasping for breath
she had the heavy scent
of gasoline
each iris was a lit match
and she laid her gaze on me

let me be your fuel,
burn me down
and lament over the ashes
i've gotten hung up on things in the past,
it's true
that was then though
this is not my world
or my people
freak on the outside
and when you get a glimpse
through the peephole
see what i hide
find out it's just as
ugly on the inside
3005
ain't no one
like you
in this life
no one has it figured out
deep seeded insecurities
full of doubt
when i look at you
i see you
when you look at me
you see what i see
and i hate me
so it's just as easy
to hate through
that lense
and your perspective
Speak of love,
So many hopeless hearts,
With none to give.
Something to dream they'll find,
When they aren't even sure what to look for.
Find it on your own first.
Otherwise, you'll just end up hurting others
Or hurting worse.
Autobiographical
Disburse of false truths,
Of complex ones that hinge on the day.
For it is ever so changing
And will be gone before being ready.
Live with the simple ones, like love
Those timeless classics
Which none among us
May ever truly corrupt.
And those things that branch from it
Like kindness, patience, compassion
play that
avant-garde, Archie
roll that stone,
HST
bust a nut, in a
case for the century
Woodward & Bernstein
convolut and confuse
and diffuse some of that tension rising
the crook with a room at Watergate
TRICKY ****
well known for the lying
you can infiltrate
and propagate hate
from here to Asia
but it's the folks at home
who will grab you by the *****
and castrate ya
boyhood hid nothing
the snow only recently, laid to rest
to hang like rhime
but adolescence gave it a new lense
breathed in new breath
and animated the rotten corpse
to be so in shock, sickening awe
as to shriek out
"𝘐𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴!"
none of you are strong
or independent
how many do you rely on for your food?
your gas? electric, and the roof overhead?
this is a fixed system
a racetrack
where all the horses are doped
all i can say is,
stop running
The eye sees-
Singular, as I am only,
In corporeal, in tangible form;
We are 1 out of many.

When our cup runneth empty,
Many welcomes back the one;
As a droplet joins a water's body-
Like tides taken back by the sea

As dawn & Sun meet

We are as day,
The slim slivers of light that separate
Night, from next night; the fleeting life
In the darkness that permeates.
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