July Twenty Fourth, Nineteen Fifteen
The river was murky, The weather was seen

The steamer Eastland, firm on her bow,
loaded with coal, port side and sound

A captain, that's ***** and stout in his manner
stands on his bridge with an arrogant cantor

Mooring lines set, stern to the bow
Gangplanks are steady, awaiting a crowd

Employees of Western dressed to their nines,
a picnic awaits, everything's fine

Families with smiles and tickets in hand
looks up in wonder, the Eastland she stands

Boarding commences and loaded up full
Twenty Five Hundred, no more to call

Port side list, a lean to the river
Ballast is leveled, some felt the shiver

Worries amount to settling fears,
a starboard list and beckoning tears

Back to the port, no coming back
tipped on her side, everything's black

Panic in fever, screams are abound
echoes in motion, no silence no sound

The river's chaotic with bodies afloat
Kenosha stands ready and rescues the most

Eight forty four lost their lives
In the armory they lay and Chicago cries

The Eastland still rests in our hearts and our mind
Not a second or hour can turn back the time

Razor edge
of dampened steel
Press it down
cold blue feel

Eyes are down,
I see the mark
seeping red
crimson dark

Sad clear day
stopping time
Rest the wicked
Hear the chime

Why do I follow you?
You lead me away.
I was walking my path.
I was wanting to stay.

You took my hand,
gripping it tight.
I pulled away,
your eyes full of night.

Lost in insanity,
away from the sane.
Where are you taking me?
Blood tempered rain.

Sadness sets in,
motion is gone.
Time is but lost,
singing sanity's song.

Dazed and confused
and I don't know why.
Ripping my heart  out,
Cry, girl, cry.

Screams are but silent,
with no one to hear.
Have I lost my mind?
I am the only one near!!

A thought of past
I seek no kind
Beyond controls
of a conquered mind

Be not one's self
seeking pity not pain
Controls no crash
on this crazy train.

Faulted with doubt,
desires no end.
Distorted transmissions
played back again.

I found you

Slouched over the steering wheel of your mother's car
Your eyes glassed over with a slight haze

I see you again

Cold as ice when I touch your hand
The faint smell of the noxious gases seeping in from the hose

I begin to shake you

"WAKE UP **** YOU"
WAKE UP"
Don't leave me
My heart beats faster and faster

I hold you closer to my heart

Blurry vision sets in my eyes
Getting harder to breathe
The ignition is finally off

I am not going to leave you

Getting sleepy
I reach for the door handle
Need to get out of here

I fall on top of you

One final breathe
Overcome by the fumes
The garage door begins to open

I am here
I am me
I am a *******
I do bleed

I was shunned
I do cry
I do run
I do slide

I might smile
I might frown
I look never up
I always look down

I had promise
I had cheer
I wanted you close
I gave you fear

I am here
I am me
I am a *******
I do bleed

I have convictions
I have told lies
I am going away
I am hanging good bye

© Silent Screams

Stained glass youth
with broken down fears.
Sitting in the steeple
of my forgotten years.

Sins were injected
by devilish desires.
Sitting in the box,
extinguishing my fires.

Crying with conviction,
bursting out with hate.
Release your grip on me,
this is not my fate.

Victory is mine,
it is almost done.
Black clouds soon arrived,
where it all begun.

Why did you come back?
and haunt me everyday.
What more do you want?
How much more do I pay?

You turned out my lights,
put me into sleep.
Tucked me down below,
wrapped me in a sheet.

My stained glass youth was shattered,
colors all smeared.
No longer will I remember
all my forgotten years.

Each night before I lay down,
I swallow four little pills,
two white ones, one yellow one
and one blue one

About fifteen minutes later,
my mind starts to mumble,
Then I stumble into defeat.
Eyes heavy and vision cloudy

My brain is seeking answers,
my fingers start to feel tingly.
The room slowly closes
in on me.

My emotions cease to exist,
tapping slowly on the wall.
I implode with fear
and still I seek no answers

Four little pills
plays dodgeball inside my brain
FOUR LITTLE ******* PILLS
I   I   I   I
I don't know who I am anymore

Cascading down the tunnels,
through damped corridors I go,
It doesn't stop.
Burnt flesh and tempation gone
I left my mind
on a ceramic plate
Then it shatters

Four little pills
disappeared inside of me
No reflection in the mirror to see
I am no longer in your presence
Its time to go

Society's forgotten are covered
in a diluge of lost time
and blue,
with shadows that lurk on broad shoulders
so true.

Their fractured thoughts drift
through the silent city alleyways,
only to be swallowed whole
then they vanish without a whisper

Our eyes turn away
and our minds are turned off
when their haunting voices
ring in the distance,
Shhh listen to the soft echoes slowly fade

With no end in sight,
we seek vengence and violence.
Slammed down with tired thoughts,
laying naked on the black.top,
not a single gaze

Lightning strikes the innocent down,
fracturing the mantle of time,
Struck by the sound
it echos lies and lives
But we leave them to die alone

Someone else will pick up the pieces,
Swept up in the tragedy of life,
It is the fractured souls
that we throw away and
We don't remember them anymore

The words I saw the other day on the bathroom stall read
"Glorified Prison"

MMMM, Cognitively thinking
to myself.
"This is my life"

In an instant flashback of
bent memories,
I thought about
the year
when
it all happened.
My heart started beating rapidly,
my brain collapsing,
My body drenched in sweat.
I was drowning.
Drowning inside a mental pool
and there was no life ring to save me.

I just stood there,
Mummified to the moment.
My eyes were glazed over as if I had glaucoma trying to stare
through a thick London fog.
Everything was disappearing
in front of me.
I saw it though, in my distant memory,
quickly flashing in front of me, like a shooting star across the sky,
then it was gone.

Gone to a place that I never recognized before.
A place that was out of some sort of bad dream.
That place. That brick house. Pitch black outside.
That kind of bad dream, "the worst kind of nightmare
that you can ever imagine"
and I couldn't wake up from it.
Make it go away!!
Please, Make it go Away!!
I am begging you.
STOP IT!!

His hands suffocating me,
but I could barely feel them
or hardly breathe, none the less.
Breathless in this moment.
I became to numb to my surroundings.
Trapped in my own seclusion
and by my own misdirection.
I was left wondering.

I had no idea what was going on.
Lost inside myself,
with unknown fear,
trapped inside that brick house
of malicious trepidation
and insidious manipulation.
I was being sexually violated
and I didn't know why
nor could I control it.

I was in a poisoned induced
coma of fear.
My mind was twisted
beyond reproach
as he continued his sadistic
and cruel usage of my body.
I was longer a human being,
I was just object for his enjoyment.

Escaping the insanity, I ran!!
Finally free or so I thought.
This mental torture has burdened
me for so long and has taken me down many diluted paths
of mistrust, misguidance
and internal, penalized
grief.
I am became lost unto myself.

I have grown to live inside
this Glorified Prison,
with no release date in site.
The torture that I was subjected to,
will never leave me.
So this prison has become solace.
It has also become my hell.
It is where I put on my shoes
and walk without fear but
it is also where I run away
from things.

Many times I begin to tremble when I think of
that nightmare.
It has become a seeded part of me.
It is who I am.
I am a survivor though.
One day I hope to be released
beyond the walls of this
glorified prison,
so I can finally be free.

Cradle the heart with the darkness of your conscience,
For it is precious in the moments before.
Sacrifice the hours that are left
until damnation is gone.
Tis it is time to say good bye.
HALLELUJAH

Savory sense to ease my worry
Walked in the mist, mild with fury

Graveside scene, eerily silent
Souls of the dead speak out in violence

Mind numbed feelings, frozen with fear
Take the next step, not going near

Hair stands on end, weak at the knees
Black cat crossed, begging you please

Lay down and listen, whispers at night
Can't close my eyes, a moment I might

Rust broken gate, iron wrought ring
Shhh do you hear? The dead starts to sing

Gray dove I see you
You fly most graciously
Floating in the clouds
with the slow wind

My toes over the edge
Curled up in my shoes
Fingers grip the rail
White knuckled and tense

I glance in your direction
Your wings sweep the sky
Back and forth
You glide with a purpose

Sweat drips from my brow
Frozen with a moment of time
I hear every sound of nature
Leaning forward, head tilted down

Purr gray dove, come my way
Alone and free
Flying circles around me
Rest when you can

I see the water below
Crashing against the shore
My heart beats rapidly
Knees are buckling from the strain

You are my friend
As I see why you fly
Coming my way
I start to smile

Can not catch my breathe
I close my eyes tight
Deep in sadness, I wonder
No looking back

Here you come
ending your flight
My shoulder is your resting spot
Balance completely lost

No more grip
I begin to fall
Quick descent rushes by
Eyes wide open

Gray dove flies again
I hit the water with a thud
One last scene as I see you
Pushed to my death by the little gray dove

Feeling all empty,
in the dark corner of life.
Facing downward,
wanting to cry.

Tripping over yourself,
and over your crimes.
Can't turn away,
from all the white lies.

Causing much fear,
from each word you spoke.
Tossed in the fire
and feeling the choke.

Your words are your poison,
sinking in deep.
You slapped me around
and put me in sleep.

You are the evil,
that burns me inside.
Scorching my veins,
and blinding my eyes.

No more words,
no more lies.
You buried me deep,
saying cowardly goodbyes.

Fear the wind goodbye
Shoelace strings and rubber bands
Streetlights flicker dark

I want to pay homage
to the busted streets and broken cottages,
where everyday people are destroyed
with lies and filthy promises.

You see, these are my streets
that I walked with my feet,
Brothers and sisters,
graffiti tagged and full of disease.

This is the place where I broke bones,
Layed down sidewalks full of racial undertones,
With guns ablazing and
suicides growing old.

Gang signs tagged on every street corner,
did you hear the gun shot?
Stop!!!
Yellin' loud I tried to warn ya

Mama, why does it always have to be?
I lost another brother here by my feet.
I am filled with emotions
now gone with deceit

God, Please stop this pain that
flows inside my veins,
the agony, the injury, the silence
the insane.

I can't continue one more step,
this place I call my home
has turned into a wreck.
Lives are destroyed, twisted and upset.

So, look around.
This is my neighborhood.
This is where I belong.
With the busted up sidewalks, I stand strong.

We can not turn back time,
we can only help correct lives.
So let's turn the pages people
and unite not divide.

I am a sinner, not a saint.

Closed inside.

Open the box ..What a surprise!!

Certified by organic feelings draining
lost syllables down tall rusted waterspouts.
People deleted and others segregated.
I digress.

Withering away in a broken state of denial,
a country searching for it's own lost soul.
Instigation, legislation, and endless constipation.
I digress.

Punching stares into a careless book,
words searching for a meaningful ending.
Woke, broke, down and out for the count.
I digress.

Turning the corner in the face of chaos,
whispers of silence and red flags waving.
Blindfolded badges hide when the sun finally sets.
I digress.

Who are we, anymore? Quote the raven, nevermore,
Questioned solutions to countered conclusions.
Wandering aimlessly in a circle of confusion, nevermore.
I digress.