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 29° 
lena k
you stole my light
when i told you to stop
and you ignored my red light
and kept going
like my body was undiscovered land
and you were a colonizer.
perhaps my asking you to stop
turned you on
made you hungry.
you looked at me with your hungry eyes
like i was fresh meat
for you to take and have for yourself
ignoring my stop signs
cries
screams
because i am nothing more
than an object to you
made for your manipulation and pleasures.
consent is key
Mom
You're dead now
****** overdose
But if you were alive
I wouldn't call
You were terrible
Calling me "****" all the time
Beating me up
If there's a Mother's Day
Category
For worst of all time
I'd nominate you
And you'd win
 26° 
Seema
I have no words
Just tears to shed
.
.
.
.
.
         Incomplete poem...
7th April, a dark daĆ½
 25° 
Cassian
Dad
You always point out every flaw dad
Always reminding me of everything I do wrong
You never cared how I felt dad
Always comparing me to someone else
I already know how stupid I am dad
Believe me Iā€™ve been told thousands of times
Thatā€™s why I want to move away from you
Youā€™ve made me feel alone dad
While still saying youā€™re my friend
I cared but you didnā€™t
That was my problem I accept responsibility for that
But the hardest part about letting go is that
Iā€™ll never hear you running after me
Deep into the cold
 23° 
FreeMind
I still remember the day you took my hand,
Kissed my forehead,
And told me you didn't love me.


-FreeMind
November 13, 2018
#66
 23° 
Traveler
Can you feel my presence
When I come to you in dreams
Are your memories of me as pleasant
As the songs we used to sing

Do you know that much about me
I used to know you pretty well
You were the angel in my heaven
Until that day I fell

Do you look at those old pictures
Of when you were a child
I only wanted to be with you
Only wanted you to smile

Do you hate the things Iā€™ve done
Do you blame me for your pain
Itā€™s the fact that I still love you
That keeps me in these chains
Traveler Tim
 23° 
Jude
I despise myself for not being someone you could love.
 22° 
Elizabethanne
I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if the love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me

I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
after you broke me
I was looking for different fingers
to place different pieces and hoping  the outcome
would be a masterpiece
Maybe one of them would find a way
to cover up the handprints you left all over me

I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself
you wouldn't be the only one
that these scars marking my body wouldn't define
my worth to be loved
I am not entirely sure  
you aren't the only one who could ever touch me without slightly  flinching

I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay
If I could have you back
for just one day,
Iā€™d tell you all the things
I never did sayā€¦

Iā€™d tell you I love you
and that I always will,
Iā€™d tell you all my joys
even my little thrills.

Iā€™d tell you my dreams
and sadnessā€™s too,
Iā€™d tell you my dark secrets
that you never knewā€¦

Iā€™d tell you about the love
deep in my heart,
Iā€™d tell you of the day
I was torn apartā€¦

Iā€™d tell you how I miss you
and wish you were here,
Iā€™d tell you everything
I hold so dearā€¦

If I could have you back
for just one day,
Iā€™d find a way
to continue the stayā€¦
~
Sometimes the feeling of loss and grief can overtake you in a second, leaving tears streaming down your face. Sometimes, just by a smell, like the smell of lilacs floating through the air on a cool spring evening.

Just having a bad ā€œMiss You Dadā€ dayā€¦
July 4th will be five years since he's been gone, it doesn't seem that long.
 21° 
Dev A
I went through my pictures today
And I realized I used to be happy.
Something I havenā€™t been in a while.

The person I see in those photos
Is not the same person looking back through the mirror;
Thereā€™s a faint resemblance, nothing more.

I used to smile and laugh, always so joyful;
I still do, but itā€™s no longer genuine
No longer healthy.

People used to say my smile made their day
And all I could think was
Itā€™s just a smile, how can it make such a difference?

I never understood what they meant
When they said the smile should be seen in the eye;
That there should be a glitter, a sparkle.

Now when I laugh, when I smile,
Itā€™s polite, lacking reassurance
Missing the light heartened warmth

I went through my pictures today
And I realized I used to be happy.
I finally know what that glitter, that sparkle is.
.
.
.
Itā€™s whatā€™s missing from the mirror.
 20° 
Arlo Disarray
it all falls to ash
and spreads across my feet
painting my toes
each in different shades of grey

i lost count of all the minutes i wasted
daydreaming about boys
living some sort of played out fantasy in my head
about love
and a man
and a family

my life is a terrible joke
i don't find it funny,
but there's just no way
any of this can be real

this old heart of mine
is beating more slowly every day
shaving minutes off my hours
and slicing months off of my years

i'm not sure i can even find my face
underneath the tears

i only wish i didn't regret
so much of what i've done
 19° 
Renee
I'm sure I look fine.

Days like today,
I want to strip the skin
From my forearms
Using only my fingernails.

Days like today,
I want to wring out
My legs like a washcloth,
Squeeze the rolls on my stomach
Until they're empty.

Days like this,
I want to walk away from my body
forever.

I'm sure I look fine.
 19° 
Ems
its been a week
since we last spoke.
we used to talk every single day.
its been hard not to.

you used to always say
it takes you a week to miss someone.
so here i am
a week later
praying youll tell me you miss me.

but nothing.

i sit around all day
waiting for your name to appear on my phone
with a message saying
"i miss you"
"i want you back"

but i know that will never happen.
 19° 
Beaux
If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundredsĀ Ā 
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.
The state of Florida is now home to the two most deadly mass shootings in American history. Pulse Nightclub was attacked in my city, I have friends who attend Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Parkland. My little sister often fears going to school. I'm afraid to graduate and leave her. I want to be able to protect her if something happens. I hate that we have a reason to be afraid... That it's reasonable to have these fears. I hate it so f*cking much.
 17° 
Nat Lipstadt
Why Men Cry in the Bathroom

For so many reasons.
I will tell you the why.
I think you know,
Or perhaps, you think you know.

Men are always O.K.,
Even when not.

We expect the worse,
Accept the worse,
Nonetheless,
We are forever unprepared.

Wearily, we cry,
In the bathroom, in private,
Lest sighs slip by,
We be unmasked,
Early warring, strife signs warning.

Copious, tho we weep
Before the mirror confessor,
It is relief untethered,
Unbinding of the feet,
An uncounting
Of beaded rosaries,
Of freshly fallen hail stones,
Of night times terrors
By dawn's early edition's light,
and welcomed.

But look for the mute tear,
The eye-cornered drop,
*** tat, that never drops,
But never ceases formation and
Reforming, over and over again,
In a state of perpetuity of reconstitution,

The tippy tear of an iceberg revealing,
And I see you peeping, wondering,
What is beneath


Look for:
the torn worm-eaten edges of spirit,
thrift shop bought, extra worn,
grieving lines neath the eyes,
where the salt has evaporated,
discolored the skin.
worry lines,
under and above,
browed mapped, furrowed boundaries.
the laugh line saga,
where better days are stored,
recalled, as well as recanted,
publicly, privately.

Why just men?

I don't know,
Perhaps,
it is all I know.


Jan 6, 2013
your effusive and lengthy comments are each a poem in their own right.  

Tinkered with June 22, 2013
With a push from Bala,
A serial peeper, thank God!
 16° 
Debbie Brindley
Why was I giving
such a perfect love
Then have it so cruely
taken away

I really thought
my perfect love
by my side would forever stay

Is this what life throws at you
in order to make you strong
Some of life's challenges
are just nasty
and feel so wrong

I don't want you
to leave me
on this earth all alone
Everythings so twisted
makes my body
as cold as stone

Some days are so dark
for me
I think of ways
for us to go together
But then I think of our childrenĀ Ā 
their love I truly treasure

So I try to see the good things
that I have in what is my life
And to be there
for our children
in the good times
and when there's strife

I know that I can't leave this place
So I shall carry on
with a broken heart
And love you
till the very end
Until death do us part
Sad days
 16° 
SimonƩ
It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold piecesĀ Ā 
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived
 14° 
Willobi Kome
All I want is a rewind to those times
When we talked for a long while
Seated under street lights
We were always together at nights

Staring at the moonlight
Our minds were filled with doubts
About what our future seems like

Then it went viral
That we were together
You asked how

I still don't know why

And it all sums up to now
Thinking of how we drifted apart
It was just too fast

But that was all in the past
All I wish for now is a rewind
So I can win back your heart

I really need a rewind ......
Typical me.........
#d
 14° 
Eyla
most people see me as
a happy person because
i laugh easily,
i smile a lot,
i joke a lot.

but deep down
in my heart,
i am fragile,
i can get hurt easily,
but i choose to not
show it to the world.

instead of being sad,
i choose to laugh to cover it.
maybe you can call me
"the queen of the mask"

by this,
you can tell
that most of the time
when I'm laughing,
I'm not really laughing,
i was trying so hard to hide
my sadness.
 14° 
Verdant Quo
like water
I poured myself into her until she was overflowing at the brim

like reinforced steel
I bridged my heart to hers and welded myself to her soul

like the sun
I filled myself with light to cover her darkness

like a blanket
I shielded her from the harsh world underneath the covers

like magnets
I orbited her aura until we inevitably collided

like a seed
I felt myself growing up from her

Then, like an idiot
I could tell she felt nothing.
 14° 
Stagger Lee
I know Iā€™m a cancer,
I know Iā€™m a disease,
no matter how hard I try I always lose,
was I born to fail,
am I made to suffer,
Iā€™m nothing but a phase,
youā€™ll find someone better,
youā€™ll get tired and youā€™ll leave me,
Iā€™ll be thrown away,
Iā€™ll be used and forgotten,
be happy without me,
Iā€™m caged forever,
my pirated soul burns,
a ghost of myself,
this parasitic love slowly drains me,
craving the feeling,
please donā€™t go,
I beg to be free,
I need to be saved,
Iā€™ll never know loves soft cradle,
I know false gods,
I know temporary life,
temporary worship,
I am loneliness,
I am pain,
despair loves me more then people ever will,
sip away my sorrows,
count my burdens,
my ravaged essence,
stolen loves laugh,
time to put this old horse down,
kiss death goodnight

oh love me now
 13° 
molly
If I think too hard

I can still feel their hands on my body
Four of them rubbing and squeezing and grabbing my skin
Desperate for my oblivious being.

If I think too hard

I can still feel the scratch of his stubble
As his skin rubs mine
And the other caresses me
Taking away my control.

If I think too hard

The world still spins
I can hear the moaning
And the distant sounds of nature
Outside of our tent, but so far away from my reality.

If I think too hard

I can hear their comments of praise
To each other
As I lay there blind drunk
And they do with me what they please


If I think too hard

I try desperately to shield the memory,
The three of us entangled
And together,
A trio of drunken disgrace.

If I think too hard

I cringe and cry
And my legs clamp shut
Disgusted at my stolen consciousness
And forever violated by my memory.

If I think too hard

I hate myself for what happened
I hate him for being drunk
And I hate the other for being selfish,
Breaking my heart and my trust
written during a very difficult time of accepting that some things you wished never happened, did.
 13° 
sunflower
I'd like to be alone,
but I don't want to be lonely.

I'd like to be in hope,
but I don't want to be hopeless.

I'd like to be in love,
but I don't want to be broken.

I'd like to be sad,
but I don't want to be weak.
For when I'd like to be 'me', but I don't want to be 'her'.

ć…”n.s
 13° 
Carla
You miss a meal,
Then it turns to two,
A day passes,
And no one notices you.

Craving nutrition,
There goes a week,
Those many hours,
Longing for something to eat.

Using the same excuse,
"I'm not hungry, I just ate,"
The numbers keep dropping,
Was sixty-three, now fifty-eight.

You can't go back,
People are noticing you,
They say you should eat, and you say,
"You have something better to do."

It's harder than you think,
Just leave me alone!
Stop telling me to eat and drink!
If I need you, I can find my phone.
This poem is about an eating disorder, itā€™s dangerous and those that have it can be greatly effected. Not only them, but those around them as well.
 12° 
Tony Anderson
How many times
Have I thought about killing myself
How many times
Have I thought about ending it all
How many times
Has that dark angel visited me

Time and time again
The anguish
The pain
The utter emptiness
That is life
Has almost shattered me

My tears fall
Like acid rain
Tearing me apart
Ripping me to shreds
 12° 
adriana
she was the maker, he was her muse
a creative girl with everything to lose

she colored her canvas with her bleeding heart
she loved him and watched her world fall apart

she got her heart broken but kept a blank face
knowing that there are some mistakes you can't erase

she gave up her art, a lover betrayed
her pure white mind turned a darker shade.
And then there were seven.
 12° 
Helena
like yellow flowers
on faded dreams
you came to me
gently,
with the soothing voice
of a sweaty spring
thank you, old friend
for being able to be
dark enough to see
the hidden light
in me

i will not go into the times we shared
asphyxia and summer air
juxtaposed to form
an inseparable pair

who am I, old friend
when the shipĀ“s horn blares
if you made me who I am
(if you made me scarce)

like yellow flowers
on faded dreams
you left me
softly, without
any warning of
the lack of color
(there would be)
without your splendor
 12° 
Emma K
To death do us part
I will love you with all of my heart
any issue will be resolved with a kiss
and when youā€™re away you will be missed
Good bye I say with a kiss on your cheek
and a loving smile, I feel like a geek
I sit at home, awaiting your arrival
but temptations lurk and I cling for survival
My phone rings early in the morning
and the doctors tell youā€™re now an angel soaring
I cloak myself in black tears falling from my chin
and I walk up to your casket dark
and grim
I feel your small hands to innocent to be dead
sorry says people you were just newly weds
to death do us part
I loved you with all of my heart
and with one final heavy sigh
I tell you your last goodbye
the sad reality of what happens to the innocent drivers when they meet drunk drivers
 11° 
Lori Mack
****** does that to you...

Phone rings,
It's 1 a.m.
Private number.
I know what that means.
"Hello" I say.
His voice is shakey,
He chokes out the words.
"Mom, I just got arrested,
I'm going to jail."
I took a deep breath,
Giving me time to think
Of the right words to say.
"Ok, I love you.
Don't forget to tell them
That your gonna be sick."
****** does that to you...
"Mom, I should of listened to you.
I'm sorry.
Next time I will."
How many next times,
Thinking to myself.
I can't count how many times he's been arrested,
And sent to juvie or jail.
We both knew this time it would be prison.
****** does that to you...
"That's what you said last time.
But you just keep running back to it.
I know your sorry.
No matter what,
I will always love you.
I am holding you right now baby boy."
He cries even harder.
"Mom I'm scared of getting sick.
I really want a cigarette."
21 years old but he sounds like a 3 year old,
With a high pitched whine.
****** does that to you...
Last time I saw him he looked 35
And probably only weighed 110.
Arms scarred with needle marks
Infected sores throughout his body.
Smelled of sweat and dumpsters
Where he had been digging for food.
I barely recognized him.
Where had my son gone?
He couldn't look me in the eye.
****** does that to you...

L. Mack

6/17/18
True story
 11° 
Kevin
To those who say suicide is selfish
Understand you can never understand what they delt with
You may say you have it worse than they did
On deeper levels that **** was well hid
Somethings easy to you may be the hardest for others
Its not easy to leave mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters
Your strength my weakness, your weakness my strength
Those who suffer go through many trials of a dark never ending length
Some wear there scars on there sleeves
Others hide it tucked well deep beneath
Help sometimes is not what they really need
I can assure you this wasn't a selfish and greedy deed
They loved you so much, more than you'll ever know
Sometimes in an ironic way the better is finally letting go
Whether you believe in afterlife or rather nothing at all
Remember the best of times and for them stand proud and tall
There being may no longer reside on our earthly plane
But forever in our hearts and mind they shall always remain
We will never fully understand and comprehend
I'm not a religious man but I know we will reunite in the end
Dedicated to my best friend Josh! And all those who have passed or have delt with a suicide
 11° 
Nylee
I can't help myself but I'm really sorry
for all the times I caused you the sorrow
my anger and my humor gets the best of me
and it is too late now.

I'm sorry that I'm so much me
my thoughts, my words and my actions repeating
they cause you, her and him so much hurt
I'll never live peacefully till I feel those burns.

I've often been careless, reckless and tactless,
thinking from the limits of just my head
if only had I spoken less too
when I didn't understand the bigger picture.

After hour or so, I repeat in my head what I did
what I was doing, playing a fool
giving grief to the humans just like me
who are living in the world just like this.

Sorry to everyone,
sorry for every word spoken
sorry to you, her and him
can't say enough but I am really sorry
I should never be forgiven
.
 10° 
Nobody
I grew up in a religious home,
they implemented this dream
that one day ill be come a priest
And it was the only way to make them happy.

I lived this silly dream up until the end of 5th grade when i realized,
There is no god.

Fore how can a man of such holy stature commit all these heinous crimes against his own "children".
I was 10 years old when i realized i had enough, that my voice needed to be heard.

They dont talk about little boys getting molested, almost intentionally looking away as if it never happens.

Us boys are taught a long list of rules from a young age to never cry, never show fear, never back down, just a whole lot of nevers.

But I was never taught to deal with a grown man inside me.

Believe me it hurt, it hurt more than any pain i have felt to this day.
What made it worse was the one inside me, my father.

At first it started off innocent enough, he was drunk and didnt know what he was doing.
But it soon progressed into a side business he ran under the table
"20 dollars, 20 mins"

At 8 years old, brandy became my best friend. She was the only thing that numbed my pain, although forced down my throat so I wont fight back, I learned to enjoy the burn.

A year later i went to my first party.
Months of getting beat down and broke all was ment for this day.

23 guys; one boy.
I still feel your touch, and it burns.
I hate myself for looking exactly like you father.
 10° 
Shruti Dadhich
I'm dead,
I have already committed suicide,
No you can see me,
You can feel me,
You can read me,
But you can't find even a single reason to call me alive,
No I haven't got cut on my hand,
& haven't ever tried to hang,
But I have got my heart bleed,
I have got it broken,
I couldn't actually die,
& sorry I'm unable to keep myself alive,
Not my fault,
cause I'm the one
never loved,
never cared,
never caressed,
never being consoled,
never being hold...
So here is a midway,
So here is a dead me,
With a human body,
Healthy & fit
A ***** kit!!!
What if I can't cut my lifeline,
I have already cut my connections with life & now I think it's all fine...
Sorry for this negative poem, but it's just a way to dry my tears away & make my eyes deserted again, & stick that fake so called lovely smile again...
I wish I could donate my life to someone who seriously wanted it!!!
 10° 
Ashari Ty

Skies are beautiful
They have clouds
But they still cry

Why wouldn't you?

You are beautiful
You have poems
You can cry too
Because crying is honesty to your emotions, and honesty is beautiful ;)
 10° 
emnabee
Lately
I donā€™t feel close
to poetry.

It feels elusive.
Unfamiliar.
Once it spoke to me.
But now itā€™s mute.

It sits back
and doesnā€™t look
at me.

If I call out
it doesnā€™t hear.

Lately poetry is
like that demon
I used to want
to reappear.
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