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Helena Sep 2
Aegir-
look at this brittle
decanter
and her pathetic longing
for your drunken affection
infectious aedes,
pyretic and impotent
to drink from the world ́s
hairy ******
she must forget your name

she will drink from her wine
and bite down on her skin
find another God
to drown herself in
and then touch his lips under warm
summer waves
that whisper the hold
of your cold ocean gaze
the names of the streets
where the heat made you shiver
(ghosts of grey streets,
that once harbored light)

demure poison bug
eventual swat,
small tender glass
assembled to break
vitreous moon that kindled
the pier
knowing your eyes
she forgot her own fate


tell me
   did it  please you?
in her
dreams, azure
it makes you cry
Aegir (Jötunn)  &  Rán (Goddess): From Norse mythology. Aegir is potrayed as a "gracious host" while Rán takes care of the more sinister aspects of the ocean. They have nine daughters, who represent the spirits of the waves.
More info on: https://norse-mythology.org/gods-and-creatures/giants/aegir-and-ran/
Helena Aug 13
My withering crimson,
through saltpeter streetcars,
I remember your face.
Drenched in benzene, bathed in soft glow
- eyes that pierced through veils of stop signs

I'm afraid
pictures of you might melt
into ghosts of grey
streets that once harbored light.
Helena Jun 22
Closed systems tend to maximize, Daddy gave me hint & warning sign. I beg him to decorticate my stubborn rind,to draw the line -----
a graceless short fat thumb-scratch. ***** finger, rough disorder, I unwind in the presence of infection. Bandaid glue and patchwork sweat, chaos in prevention: self- destruction.
Helena May 22
bowling-pin Tom
tastes like
sour milk and
monthly payments
I run around his kitchen
dressed in lethal
butter knife

my railroad cat
with eyes that
play-pretend the almost
catch me´s
finds meaning in my
indulgent
nursery rhymes

Trailer park escapism
joy in school-bus
traffic rides
otherwise inconsequent
ring dove hands
that scrape
my sea-salt thighs
Helena May 12
Doused in trailer park,
Axe and ******
Underneath the visions
Of a bleeding
Tartan skirt

Kiss, kiss her invisible
Thighs
Before you choke
On pencil shavings
Before you gag
on cherry lips
Turned
Robitussin

You'd die
For small holes
To fit all your ambitions in
And to roll around
The bed
Without a screeching
Corpse to stumble on

So in nights
You can't sleep
And the summer's
Yet to come
Dwell freely
On Magdalenes
laughter


Use it then to drown
Your self-pitying
Moan
Helena Apr 29
my roman nose did not
fit the cupboard womb
as I stared at
the silhouette
of a ketchup stain on  
a breakfast table
raw burger meat,
ripe debutantes
all bathed in
glycerin and
self-destruction
waiting for teeth
or the occasional knife
(chaining themselves
to trees
whose seeds mostly
wander)

I came here alone
(use me and squeeze me)
the insides of the
shrinking constitution,
the demure dissident
such a thrill
to smear my guts
all over the newspapers
to see the visions
of the
ink so
honeysuckle
intertwined


I pressed
against
the greasy
diner table
arms crossed
to hide my face behind
a promise to be
waiting for you
open mouthed
and mute
chiaroscuro, blind
Helena Mar 6
I am the shirt you bought
when love was kind

you pressed your head
against the garment rack
and held my ridged noose
like a child
that finds grip
in calloused hands  
and you found
brawn in
polyester sleeves
and warmth
in my youth´s
tender cotton

You bought me
when you still
prayed to silence
and howled in whispers,
with your teeth latched onto
the mesh bars
of a silver cage
and you called me your equinox
and I was your hope
when you didn't know
my name

You wore me,
when you still
wished time
would run away,
when all your past felt binding
and the unknown was safe


I am the shirt that you now keep
all paint-stained and shriveled
in your locked  
bedroom drawer

the one you catch a glimpse of
next to the lonely sock
and your father´s shirts
(the ones still stained with
blood and ***, the ones
that taught you to be fair)
and now you dare and
look at me with
soft despair
when I can't help but shed the
ocean

When
I become the air that seethes
through the accidental
armpit hole
Or the break of air between
the kiss you share
with the one you love
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