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Helena Jan 5
I used to lay ***** on the sand
pale body in stark contrast
To the dark soil
Right sided waves
Swiftly hit my raw intestine
Needle-pain against my
Life-sized scar

I used to drown in man-made puddles
Filled with the purple shades of a subtle tear
i found comfort in holding back the ocean
in swallowing,in blistering
(iodine throat, failed kidney osmosis)


I drowned overflowed.


Now the sun
Keeps falling over me,
Laughing over me,
And the moon has left
My sleep tired eyes
Sadistic clowns
Sand mouth stuffing
My grit smile
Masochistic asphixiation


(Oh right now) how i'd love
To drown burned.
Life live love eyes time
Helena Dec 2018
mud-
stuck in the sole-ridges.
burning sun in amber petrichor
you suddenly feel infinite
skipping, humming
(****** puddle,suicide note)
and then my body underneath you
in plasma, in blister, in blood.
never let me drown
(you keep me burning on)
i´m mud
subtly stuck in
your rubber bridges.

started singing with the kids in park
i swore i could hear you screaming
(i was)

my love, my love
your footsteps break my silence
Helena Nov 2018
A ***** in the plastic cup
I run my fingers through
A Thumb-full of little cuts
I run my fingers through
worn-out bandaids
Can hardly contain (you)
Little reddish stains on
The white cotton fabric

For best results,
apply the bandage
to clean, dry, skin
(the cup was full of water)
Long time since I published a poem here...
hi peeps
Helena Sep 2018
Looking for the mirrors in your
crystal eyes
I was only, softly, trying
to break this glass of lies
broken knuckles, dyed in crimson
lack of friction, moves my core
wish I could drown in your prison
drown in the smell of our before

my heart again like candle-wax
melting away with you
I can no longer write
I can no longer speak
Without feeling blue
my wicked mind (these days)
seems rather obtuse

And I feel a piece in the rain is lost
only your rough mouth
ever made me feel soft
Helena Aug 2018
skirt
lord knows she´s been places
each shy smile, a metaphor
pair of doe eyes
breaking through the centerfold
she´s the sweetest, pure confection
of your fantasies

skirt
rid yourself of ***** purities
teenage ******* dry martini
enticing tragedy
wood on furnace

skirt
lovely dove
of tender bareness
fulfill his urgence
breathe him airless

s kirt.
Helena Aug 2018
I'm a shameless liar
Thoughts
lost in translation
(Softly)
consumed by the fire
Trying to see through the haze
exhaling is dire
I was counting on you to find
My Telephone wire

But don't worry, love
Any words I could have said have been said (before)
So sorry if I seem quiet tonight, love
the trembling in my voice
Shaking lips and broken words
Are worth the itching in my tongue
Helena Aug 2018
Crisp leaves fall down her spine
Shedding the youthful look
Of her once
Tangerine-tainted shine

Her body shreds but trunk keeps growing
Her hungry hands, unwilled, unknowing
look for the tang, the sweetness
She once held between her thighs


Amidst the cruel winter
Thoughts invaded her spine
But she grew and grew till she
Outgrew her mind

What a wonderful thing
Time.
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