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 322° 
Haiku Donna
I said to a chair
Can you please stop
touching my bum
It said no no no
it's so much fun
:)) silly one
 198° 
Bo Burnham
I said no to drugs once.
I looked a bag of weed right in the face
and, like a loving but firm father,
I said, "No."
I was really high.
 39° 
Druzzayne Rika
Cherries and poppies
raspberries and strawberries
and fallen red leaves,
a burning memory.
 33° 
CA Smith
To you, the ground beneath my feet
Every step I take,
you support me.

You stand with me,
in my times of trouble

I am warmed by your embrace,
as I become entranced in your outfit of lace.

Nothing could be more finely crafted,
than my connection with you.

The ages may wear on you,
yet you remain the only one
my sole longs for.

For you truly are...
My favorite pair of shoes.
 25° 
Cné
A poem of $ex
But not in this text
I just used this title to see
~
If you would come
Looking for fun
And read this poem by me
~
You will not find
Words of that kind
No moaning passionate steam
~
Two of the night
Not in this write
All of these verses are clean
~
Lips locking soft
Hearts now aloft
Maybe what you did expect
~
Candlelight aflame
Screaming a name
Glistening skin, beads of sweat
~
Sensual sighs
Quivering thighs
Erotic moments to trace
~
Euphoric throes
Fingers and toes
Sorry you’re in the wrong place
~
None of that here
Let’s make it clear
Nary a stanza reflects
~
Words that you see
Written by me
Titled, “A Poem of $ex”
 16° 
Cné
She met him south of the border in Durango,
She was hot and boy could she fandango!
She said at a glance
"Señor like to dance?"
“No”, he replied, “But I would love to tango!”
 15° 
MicMag
door opened
door shut, then locked
first morning urges
body greets the dawn

toilet seat up
pants unzipped
waste tube carefully aimed
flow turned on

trickling stream
becomes rushed torrent
small splashes
leave no mark

on steep polished porcelain walls
water slowly turning
clear to yellow
light to dark

liquid waste
flushed down the drain
shows signs
of dehydration

advising body
drink more water
restart the cycle
of urination
Everybody pees!
It was a cold, wintry December day.
I was at home,
sitting by the fire.
The fire was hot,
but from where I sat,
it felt like a warm blanket.
Suddenly,
my nipples started to lactate,
uncontrollably.
I did not know what was going on.
I lifted up my soaking wet shirt,
and put my hands over my nipples,
in an attempt to stop the lactating,
up it did not work.
And then,
it stopped.
I squeezed my nipples,
to see if they would lactate,
but nothing happened.
I went to bed,
hoping this nightmare would be over in the morning.
But it wasn't.
When I woke up,
I went into the bathroom to perform my daily morning activities,
when I realized something on my chest.
A third nipple!
I tried to rip it off,
but I couldn't.
Later that day,
at dinner,
I was eating a juicy, tender steak,
when suddenly,
all three of my nipples began to lactate!
I tried to stop them,
for they were lactating all over my steak.
Then, like before,
it stopped.
This proceeded for many days.
Everyday,
I woke up with another nipple,
and everyday around six o'clock,
they would all lactate,
until one day,
the unthinkable happened.
I woke up.
I could not move.
I had no legs.
No arms.
I was a giant nipple.
"NO!" I screamed.
Then,
as usual,
I began to lactate,
violently,
and then I exploded.
Copyright Barry Pietrantonio
 13° 
Charles Bukowski
ignore all possible concepts and possibilities ---
ignore Beethoven, the spider, the damnation of Faust ---
just make it, babe, make it:
a house  a car   a belly full of beans
pay your taxes
fuck
and if you can't fuck
copulate.
make money but don't work too
hard --- make somebody else pay to
make it --- and
don't smoke too much but drink enough to
relax, and
stay off the streets
wipe your ass real good
use a lot of toilet paper
it's bad manners to let people know you shit or
could smell like it
if you weren't
careful
 12° 
Nylee
Couldn't see the rain before it flooded everywhere.
 11° 
Pagan Paul
.

What floats your boat babe,
Archimedes' Principle of Water Displacement?



© Pagan Paul (20/07/18)
.
6th in my series Even Poets Screw Up ...
.
 10° 
Haiku Donna
I've become a great
expert in karate , thanks
to those pesky gnats
Those pesky gnats have bit  me alive this year there so annoying !!
But I'm learning great karate moves :)
 10° 
Nupur Chowdhury
Collided with you on my way to work,
No, it wasn’t a sign, wasn’t destiny’s quirk.
A swollen temple and a bruised nose
Do not herald a date, a wedding, or even a rose.

Dropped my books on my way to class,
Our fingers brushed when you knelt on the grass
Music blasting from the dorm on the second floor
I nodded my thanks and walked through the door.

I know they say it’s divine intervention,
But it’s more just my lack of hand-eye coordination.
I know you believe we were meant to be
But I need spectacles more than a relationship.

Now my scarf’s stuck to your wrist watch,
My hem’s ripped, your buckle’s botched.
I knew I shouldn’t have bought the lace
Oh shit! Did you think this was decreed by fate?

Spilled my coffee on your shirt front
Damn! Was it Ralph Lauren? Peter England?
Here’s a coupon for a dry-cleaning discount
Just tell me you don’t think this counts.

Look, I’m not saying you’re reading too much into this,
Though that might be an accurate analysis.
All I’m saying is our future looks accident prone
So maybe invest in an insurance plan before a wedding loan.
 9° 
T
Middle school......
The home of my social life, but also the place that can end it.
Locker..................
The home of my books, how I love them.
Bus.......................
Home of the crap, there is a lot of it.
House...................
The home of my freedom, if only I could get past the blocked pages.
Don't you agree
 8° 
Pagan Paul
.
What is a poet to do
when his favourite muse
faints whilst making love,
a victim of passions fuse.

To carry on regardless?
Perhaps slap her lovely cheek?
Mouth 2 mouth no tongue?
Or maybe implore her to speak?

A lesser poet
shakes her anxiously
and writes a verse about prowess and spooning.

A True poet
carries on regardless
and writes a sonnet about his muse and swooning.



© Pagan Paul (23/05/18)
.
5th poem in my series Even Poets Screw Up ...
.
I only write these when in the silliest of moods!
.
.
 8° 
n0r
“My dream date is after we’ve already been dating for a few months and decide to go out on the town. We meet a cute guy, buy him drinks, and spend the next few hours laughing together and maybe slaying it at a karaoke bar. Afterwards we invite him back to my place and get into some role play. I become Israel, he Palestine, and you The Goddess that helps them finally come together, even though Israel has to bend over a little bit to make it happen.

Confession: this is a dream date. I have to become really committed to physical therapy again in order to get my singing voice back for karaoke and I live with old country people so it’d have to be at your place.”
“Christian and Serious About It”
 7° 
Melissa S
Beware of the thirteenth
landing on a Friday??

Nah....that's just bullhockey

The thirteenth has always been
lucky for me...
My sweet boy was born that day
for the world to see :)
 7° 
MicMag
they say there ain't rhythm
they say it don't rhyme
but people get famous off that kinda shit
all the damn
day
 7° 
Temporal Fugue
Well, it's almost here
the day that I retire
thirty years of servitude
not quite a funeral pyre

A planned escape
after years of malaise
thinking on what I'll do
starting another phase

I'll open up a glass shop
make some artistic pieces
fused, foiled, stained or blown
creativity never ceases

Maybe I'll make glass dildos
something to please the ladies
custom designs and so erotic
quality, as in Mercedes

Yes here it comes
for all the years I've strived
it's only just retirement
and yes, I'll still be alive

Turning out a product
designed to give life some joy
sure it's just a piece of glass
a hand crafted well made
toy
;D~ Hey! it might happen LOL
Anybody interested in pre-order? ROFL

Name your girth
Name your length
the colors you desire
heated in the flames of love
melded in the fire
;)
 6° 
Jeff Gaines
This is my only and first ever poem
that I did scribe upon my phone.

A pal of mine does it, does it with ease.
She makes it look easy, just like a breeze.

But it's harder for me, with my thumbs of ham.
I prefer full-sized keyboards, as that's who I am.

Typing and retyping and then wrestling the spellchecker.
If I tried this while in my car, I would surely need a wrecker!

Squinting, so that I don't have to strain my eyes.
To say that I'm enjoying this, would be nothing less than lies.

Well there you have it, I'm finally done.
I'm gonna pass on this foolishness ... and let her have all the fun.
NEVER again.
I'll write it in Sharpie on my arm first!
I've always >hated< texting.
Pulling a long hair out of your butt crack
 5° 
Temporal Fugue
I'm really not a dancer
more like a fish far from the sea
flopping gasping, dying
on a spasmodic twerking spree
don't ask me to explain
why the dance floor lacks my style
trust me when I say
Dirty Dancing, I'll defile
so when we hit that date
the one where you check my moves
don't judge me right away, but wait
cuz in bed, I'm really smooth
Yes, I'm boasting LOL ;D~
 5° 
Dr Peter Lim
If Napoleon had read
Lawrence's 'Lady Chatterley's Lover'
he would stay in bed all day long
with Josephine instead of waging war in Russia.
 4° 
arizona
I’m going to start
making xerox copies
of my heart;
that way I can’t
run out of love,
and you can’t run out of
patience.
I should really start a series called "love + chaos"
 4° 
Mary-Eliz
I had fun creating a fairy garden
but now it drives me crazy
I have to pull every single weed
my fairies all are lazy
 4° 
LizO
It wasn't a fart,
Honest!
It was my shoe rubbing the floor,
I promise!
Ok,
So the noise can't be recreated,
I still don't want this debated.
I.
Didn't.
Fart.
I hope I don't get asked to leave HelloPoetry for this one! If I make just one person laugh I'll be happy :-)
Someone told me to write about something I'm passionate about, I hope they don't think this is it, haha
 4° 
MicMag
Let the words flow
Let them out
Let them go

Put them on a page
Express your joy
Release your rage

And as you go
And spill your guts
The world will know
You're truly nuts
We're all a little crazy, aren't we?
 4° 
David
as i bent forward
about to put the freshly boiled kettle
into the fridge
i simultaneously reached for the milk,
thinking that i was replacing it
before i had even used it, and then
wondering why
there wasn't a space for the steaming kettle
in the fridge door.
I stood up and spun around
looking at the empty cup
as it waited patiently
for both boiled water and milk.
I replaced the kettle to boil again and
closed the fridge door
Then i stood by the counter
looking at the empty cup,
the cup that could've shouted out to me,
could've warned me of my impending faux pas
but instead it stayed silent
the cup and the teaspoon that sat in the cup
both silent
partners in crime
smug little bastards!
watching a grown man in his moment of stupidity
and saying nothing
not even a cough as i approached the fridge
with the steaming silver kettle in hand
nothing!
they let me stew in my moment of confused chaos
they watched as my brain malfunctioned
and then they sniggered when i had
my second chance of problem solving.
I hated that spoon and cup
so much in that moment
I had to show them
teach them a lesson
show them that I WAS STILL IN CONTROL
that I RAN THINGS AROUND HERE...MY WAY
so i picked them up
opened the fridge door
and placed them at the back
on the second shelf !!
Grabbing another cup from the cupboard
i placed it on the counter top
....
and slowly
walked away
 4° 
MicMag
Walked through a field full of llamas
Wooly babies, papas, and mamas
But these llamas were purists
And spat on this tourist
Turning excitement to trauma
"Don't you want to pet the llamas too?!"
"No thanks."
"Come on! Why not?!
"OK, fine."
*five seconds later I'm covered in llama saliva

LLimerick 2:
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/2619328/llimerick-2/
 4° 
Ansley
Hello everybody. My name is Neal and I'm your tour guide.
The first creature that we will see is a koala, to your right. Do you know that koala's have fingerprints very similar to those of humans?
So much so that their prints have been mistaken for a human's at crime scenes?
Anyways, this leads us to ask some very important questions: are methods of finding criminals therefore unreliable? Is it truly possible to avoid imprisoning those that are innocent? Is reality merely an allusion?
Or, more importantly, was it my boyfriend John with the good fashion sense that took my hairbrush? Or was it that little bitch Bernard that is hiding in the top left corner?
Anyways, to your left you'll see our world renowned snail tank. Snails can sleep for up to three years at a time....
Koalas actually do have similar finger prints and snails can sleep for up to three years
 4° 
Temporal Fugue
Tiny bubbles in the hot-tub
not always
a good
thing
Yeah, not been there, butt, can imagine ;D~
 4° 
September Rose
Ah the perfect boy

Mushy and gushy, all human like, with normal human skin, and smile

Scratch that

Heavy body armor, brandishing a sword, born in the mid 15th century

Hmmm, no

Aluminim for hair, copper in his head, lack of understanding of any type of human emotions

That's not right, no

How about
Scales?
Not possible
Gills?
Smells fishy
A being of pure light energy?
Sigh, beyond my comprehension

I guess I'll just get
A pet rock
Im celebration of international rock day
 4° 
Cné
it’s the first day of March so beware
with a hint of sweet spring in the air
you might be tempted
thinking winter has ended
only to be caught by Jack Frost, unaware
 3° 
Rich Hues
Where diamonds tumble down a mountain stream,
Heaven's torn asunder by an angel’s scream,
A poem to show her my love sublime,
Every word, every verse, every line, every rhyme.
But when I write it down it turns out like this,
Because really I just want her to show me her tits.
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