you stole my light
when i told you to stop
and you ignored my red light
and kept going
like my body was undiscovered land
and you were a colonizer.
perhaps my asking you to stop
turned you on
made you hungry.
you looked at me with your hungry eyes
like i was fresh meat
for you to take and have for yourself
ignoring my stop signs
cries
screams
because i am nothing more
than an object to you
made for your manipulation and pleasures.

You wear leather
As dark as your heart
You speak words
As sharp as a knife

You smell of cigarettes
And sometimes cologne
You wreak of Jack Daniel's
But mostly depravity

You lurk in the shadows
And prey on the young
You desire a girl
But only one night

You tell her your lies
To trick her to stay
And then like a coward
You run away

You see my brown skin
And assume I'm a ****.

You see my hijab
And assume I'm a terrorist.

You see the smile on my face
And assume I'm happy.

You hear my words
And assume I'm okay.

But I am not.

Instead I am broken.
Yet I am also strong.

I am dark and rule-following.
I am peaceful and Muslim.

You assume based on
Society's POV.

If you smile
You must be happy.

Fox, CNN, any media
Tells you I am a terrorist.
So the names I get called
And the extra security checks
Are extremely upsetting.

The murders of black folk
Is either considered appropriate
Or it's "black on black crime"
So it's not taken seriously.

Who are you gonna believe
Me or those who don't know me?

every night i softly cry
eat an apple, hope to die
you've left me here, so red and flushed
im waiting for you, but i feel rushed
the bleeding heart slips from my grasp
i run to catch it in a dash
but only you can break its fall
and as it hits, I slowly crawl
to you.
adieu.
goodbye,
sweet lie.

With loathe and resentment
I wish for contentment
But there ain't too much of a thrill
When my emptiness cannot be filled.

With pills and black heels
I'm paying my bills
But my emotional debt
as you bet, I tend to neglect.

Yes, I acknowledge
it has gotten to be a bit of a pleasure
feeling so much displeasure

But ****** has mothered me so much
And now I am mesmerized by her soft touch

And people ask WHY
But don't they know that I swore to die?

I need sleep,
But Morpheus must be a Scorpius
As he is my star, my king
with his burning sting

I don't mind
If I've become blind
As I've already survived from that tainted spring
where Tiresias got his mortal drink

And maybe
I'll transform myself into a man for seven years
Penanced to **** sacred deers
But my ******* are blessed
to cut them off my chest

How could I eradicate myself?

Aghhhhhhhhhh
Why is everything so co.mpli.cated.
        Why is nothing how it should be

Nothing good lasts for ever
well it seems to me like nothing good lasts a ******* second

Everything is
Spiralling
Out
Of
Control
          
         Everything was good a week ago
    A month ago
    
Ok maybe not good but better

         Because this ******* life has
        given me the ******* lemons
And although I'm used to ***** lemonade
it's like life still enjoys pelting me with the leftover ones
      
          Until
        I want
    To disappear