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 303° 
Madeline Thetard
Today I told someone hello.
2. They didn't say it back.
3. Today I smiled at someone in the hall.
4. They didn't smile back.
5. Today I looked in the mirror to see if I was invisible.
6. Turns out I'm not invisible -- then why can't anyone see me?
7. Today I made a fake Instagram account under a trendy name from the 1960s to see whether I knew any people who had real Instagram accounts.
8. All of the accounts were private save for one.
9. Today I forced myself to be happy for a particular past crush who posted lots of pictures on Instagram with his new girlfriend. Hurrah.
10. Today I looked at everyone's smiling faces and wondered why I wasn't smiling with them.
11. Today I wondered why some people are complete idiots.
12. Today I wondered why my skin tone - white as milk - should make people believe that I can't handle spice, or make people believe that I am stupid.
1. Today I told someone hello.
2. They didn't say it back.
13. Today I comforted someone who said she had no love life.
14. I didn't have the courage to tell her that I've never had a love life and probably never will.
15. Today I told someone I write poetry and they laughed at me.
16. Today I cried in front of a mirror while singing a made-up song that wasn't even sad.
17. Today I told people I was fine when I really was not.
5. Today I looked in the mirror to see if I was invisible.
18. I wish I was invisible.
19. If I were invisible maybe it wouldn't hurt so much 'cause I know I'm here but people refuse to see it.
20. Can I please just be invisible?
1. Today I told someone hello.
2. They didn't say it back.
Not in a fantastic mood right now.
 114° 
Keerthi Kishor
When I was five,
my mother told me I was loved.
Years later, she asked me to leave because
I was the reminder of the gruesome past that haunted her.

When I was ten,
my father told me he believed in me.
Years later, he refused to accompany me because
I was an embarrassment to him in front of the society.

When I was fifteen,
my friends told me I was funny.
Years later, they all laughed at me because
I was the gullible teenager who fell for their flawless façade.

When I was twenty,
this guy said I was beautiful.
Years later, he trashed me, tormented me because
I was ignorant enough to overlook my inevitable flaws.

So, sorry for not believing in you,
for questioning your intentions, inclusively, in-depth
when you told me you loved me because
I didn’t want to wind up years later,
learning it the hard way that people often don’t mean what they say.
"Pistanthrophobia is just not everyone's cup of tea."
 80° 
Ally Gottesman
When I was younger, I used to think I was going to be a Star.
Under a spotlight where everyone knew my name...
I was five.

Now, I want shadows and to be as far away as possible.
Hidden and far from consequence,
And even further from myself.
Where my name is not a name,
But just another word without any true meaning.

When I was younger, I used to think I was going to be a Star.
Now, I want to disappear.

I should have jumped overboard when I had the chance.
 47° 
Leslie Withers
that breaking moment
when you find your soulmate
in the eyes of someone
who doesn't find his in
yours.
it's not much i know but i hope some people might relate to it and know they are not the only one's who are suffering from a heart-break <3
 46° 
Her
My name is Erin
and i was raped
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in my own room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
undressing me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time
 38° 
Taylor
may 24, 2017
last suicide attempt
everyone blamed you
it was him
he hurt you
why do you even talk to him still?

you were never the reason
you broke up with me that night
and i snapped
the only thing that kept me happy
left
and i had
zero reason to
live

it was never your fault...
 35° 
mollie
sitting underneath the stairs, i realized suddenly:
i could die here.

i could die here,
and would anyone know?
i could die here, under the dirty staircase,
and nothing would change.

a friend of mine came for me eventually;

someone i don't know too well,
but well enough.

and she squeezed my hand and told me,
"you're not alone."

as my breathing grew ragged and my chest constricted and my eyes ached, i belatedly realized that was the most terrifying prospect of all.
only thing worse than feeling alone is knowing that so many others feel alone... hope everyone out there is feeling loved.
 30° 
Semicolon
Hey mom-dad, listen.
Hit me, hate me, throw me out,
But don't shut me up.
My dear mom, my dear dad,
Please listen to me talk.
You're the place where I can unveil myself and be true to who I am.
You're the place where I can pour my heart out and expect to be heard.
You're the place I want to spend my life talking and being heard.
Please don't tell me to shut up
Because I talk too much,
Because no one likes what I speak,
Because I talk rubbish,
Because no one would listen to me,
Because I need to stay silent sometimes,
Because nobody likes the stories I have to tell,
Please don't tell me to shut up,
Just because that's what I need to do.
Listen to me.
Please.
 29° 
cecilia
you said
you were afraid
to lose me
and then you
faced your fears
and left
 28° 
Black Leaf
I'm tired.
Tired of everything.
I just want to sleep,
And never wake up again.

No, I'm not lazy,
I'm not running away from life.
I'm just tired of the world and myself,
And too tired to change anything.
 28° 
She Writes
Rape doesn’t always hide
At parties and outside clubs
Rape doesn’t always hide
In dark alleys and empty parking lots
Sometimes it is right in front of you
But you choose to look the other way
Rape doesn’t always hide
Behind the faces of strangers in the night
Sometimes it is hiding behind the closed doors
Of your uncles
Cousins
Fathers
And brothers
Rape isn’t always loud-
Screaming, yelling, and crying
Sometimes rape is quiet-
Gasping for air and silent tears
 26° 
Jules
You meet someone.
Things go great.
He tells you you’re beautiful.
3 months later you’re saying I love you.
He tells you that he can’t live without you.
He tells you that he wants a lifetime with you.
Things start to turn.
You guys argue.
You’re yelling at each other for stupid things.
He asks you why you’re with him.
He tells you, you can do better.
You get mad because you love him and you don’t want anyone else.  
He disagrees.
5 months later things get rocky.
He leaves in less than a month.
You get sad and scared.
Sad he’s leaving, scared he’ll forget.
Half a month goes by and we break up.
Two days later we got back together.
Once you left for school.
You wanted nothing to do with me.
6 months meant what to you?
Now it’s been 6 months from when we broke up.
I’m happy.
But I still miss you.
I want a day where I don’t miss you.
I hope that day comes.
I guess I kept loving you while you forgot about me.
I guess I forgot today was the day you asked me to be yours.
What did you do a year ago?
You asked me out a year ago....
Now we don’t speak.
 24° 
Ugo Victor
I can't sleep
Everytime I remember your words
They snap and recoil
And hurt me awake
Next time when someone
Promises me forever
I'll just smile
Look them in the eyes and ask
How long is forever to you.
 24° 
Jack
A painful tear leaks from my eye,
It screams a terrible sound,
A sound so loud but unheard from all around,
It flows down my cheek and seeps into the ground,
“Help him”, it cries “he wants to die”
 23° 
devante moore
I’ve never received a flower
Or even a rose
But I’m a guy
So it’s acceptable I suppose
No kisses
Or sweets
No treats
That signifies ones feelings for me
No token of ones love
But I have gotten
Disappointment
Watered with hate
Planted in betrayal
Fertilized with lies
And maintained by fakes
Roses are Red
But my roses are dead
And crumble beneath my feet
 21° 
Lyda M
They asked me this question in class one day

"What do you want to be remembered by?"

I wrote down the answer of what they wanted to hear

But to be honest

I just want to be forgotten
So no one has to hurt when I say
goodbye
 20° 
King
If
If I die today,
Would tears flow,
like a rushing river?
Or the clouds weep,
screaming in thunder?
Would the earth break,
shaking in anger?
Will the world care?
And for a moment,
forget laughter?

If I'm down
to my final heartbeat.
Will anyone be there,
sitting beside me?
When I draw,
the very last breath.
Will you hold my hand,
and feel upset?

If I go,
without saying goodbye.
I want you to know,
that I really tried.
To live and love,
to endure and smile.
To find the truth,
in this realm of lies.

If I'm fated
of leaving soon
to talk with God,
in his glowing room.
I'll be rejoicing,
when I face my doom.
Even I end like a flower,
that withered,
before it blooms.

If inside the casket I lay,
Would there any heaven for me to stay?
Or will my sins, demand me to pay?
Don't even know, how much this life has weighed.

If it's my time, to step on the scale.
Done of my part, in this play.
A lot of regrets,
but nothing more to say.
Wish me luck.
If I die today.
 20° 
Kevin
To those who say suicide is selfish
Understand you can never understand what they delt with
You may say you have it worse than they did
On deeper levels that shit was well hid
Somethings easy to you may be the hardest for others
Its not easy to leave mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters
Your strength my weakness, your weakness my strength
Those who suffer go through many trials of a dark never ending length
Some wear there scars on there sleeves
Others hide it tucked well deep beneath
Help sometimes is not what they really need
I can assure you this wasn't a selfish and greedy deed
They loved you so much, more than you'll ever know
Sometimes in an ironic way the better is finally letting go
Whether you believe in afterlife or rather nothing at all
Remember the best of times and for them stand proud and tall
There being may no longer reside on our earthly plane
But forever in our hearts and mind they shall always remain
We will never fully understand and comprehend
I'm not a religious man but I know we will reunite in the end
Dedicated to my best friend Josh! And all those who have passed or have delt with a suicide
 18° 
idk
I stopped writing.
Not because I fell out of love with it...
My emotions just seemed to disappear.

I started a new medication.
The doctor said it would help my panic disorder, and it did.
I took that pill, like my mother talks to God (every morning).

When I went back to the doctor she said we had to up the dosage because apparently having 2 panic attacks a week still isn't okay.
I told her that when I woke up this morning I got out of bed without crying, but she didn't consider that as much of a victory as I did.

When I was put on a higher dosage, my emotions shut down.
After a few weeks I stopped crying, my OCD got better, my panic attacks were gone, and I could even go into the student union of my college campus without my heart trying to win a race against my thoughts.

I could breathe.

But, I also stopped having fun.
I felt like a stranger in my own body.
My emotions found the exit on the plane and jumped, never to be found again.

Since when did being able to breathe require me to feel like this?
 17° 
PoetryJournal
Years ago
I lost a child.

He died growing up.
 16° 
September Rose
You're nervous
A bit of a wreck
But you never fail to smile at yourself when you mess up
As you always do

You're damaged
That much is clear
But your smooth laugh puts the whole room at ease
No matter how scarcely it surfaces

You've been hurt by everyone
Yourself included
But you'd rather die
Than put someone down
Because you truly believe every achievement is worth all the stars in the sky

You're quiet
And it's actually kind of annoying
But who can blame you
You mean no harm

You're self conscious
I mean arent we all
But you put everyone else back together so they cant resist to love themselves a little more
No matter how much
You
This stupid
Stupid
Boy

Hate yourself
 14° 
han
I’m tired of hearing
the same things
“you’re amazing”
I don’t want to be told
I want to be shown
that I’m captivating
of your attention
that I’m worth your days
Words mean nothing
without the feeling
behind them
that evokes them
in the first place
February 26th~han
 14° 
elizabeth
i've wanted to be a mystery for as long as i can remember. my whole life, i ached for someone to wonder about me, to need to know more, to write pages of poetry about me, to feel love songs in their body when they saw me. i desired words of love and lust and wonder to describe me. i never understood what i was doing wrong, why i wasn't receiving bundles of pink, heart-shaped valentines full of adoration for me, why i couldn't seem to make anyone curious about who i was. i'd watch others only share small pieces of themselves to capture the hearts of random lovers, and i so wished to do the same. i know that, deep in my core, that's not who i am. my heart is tattooed on my sleeve, and every emotion that goes through my mind appears right across my face. i feel too much, there's no way around it. no one will ever wonder about a girl if you can easily see what she's feeling. i've tried to crush that part of myself, tried to drain my body of all the excess feelings. it refills though, like a river after a drought. the water always returns, most often in storms. the feelings rush into me and make it impossible to mute them. i've come to the conclusion that i will never be a person that a stranger on the bus sees from across the aisles and thinks about for the rest of the day. that those who want to be wanted rarely get that. that i will forever be the one who writes poetry about someone, and it will never be the other way around. it hurts, but i've realized now that no blurry, rushed words about a love for me will ever grace a page in a diary, even if that's the only thing i need.
Mom
You're dead now
Heroin overdose
But if you were alive
I wouldn't call
You were terrible
Calling me "cunt" all the time
Beating me up
If there's a Mother's Day
Category
For worst of all time
I'd nominate you
And you'd win
 13° 
Jessa
How could you expect me
To dive into your heart
When the water is shallow
And filled with the reefs of your pride

Often…..
I got hurt
With bruises and cuts
When your rough wave
Hit me hard

Wish you could see
That I’m tired
Of fighting the tide
Wish you realize
That I’m not floating
Nor I try to swim

Because….
I’m waiting for you
To save me
From drowning
But seems like
You just wanna let go
And watch me ….. sink

-Jess
 13° 
Leviathan Andrew
If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.
The state of Florida is now home to the two most deadly mass shootings in American history. Pulse Nightclub was attacked in my city, I have friends who attend Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Parkland. My little sister often fears going to school. I'm afraid to graduate and leave her. I want to be able to protect her if something happens. I hate that we have a reason to be afraid... That it's reasonable to have these fears. I hate it so f*cking much.
I have cried
So many times,
Hidden and silent.

I have stared
At nothingness,
Felt my heart breaking.

I have waited
For so many calls
From you that never came.

I have believed
Everything that you said
I guess some weren't true.

I have been left
By you waiting for
The things you said you'd do

I broke my heart again,
Because I thought, finally,
I'll stop being used by you
Looks like I'm gonna have to sleep
Hoping I'll feel less sad when I wake up.
 12° 
Hannah rose
He doesn’t like to cuddle. He likes to grip my hips and touch my lips, But only when it suits him. He sticks his head out my window because its too hot in my room and he doesn't like the sound of my fan easy.Breath.caffeine.breeze. We laugh quietly and kiss quietly and moan quietly. He mouths vulgar things that make me giggle in front of our friends. I run my hand along the seam off his far too expensive shorts We take every opportunity to be with each other to talk , to feel, so secretly. So public. Exhibitionist pleasure. We talk night after night rapidly and vigorously and trip over each others sentences like a sidewalk crack. He says “her” like it means “amen” i say “us” pretending i could be them.We get drunk off of music  and skin and things we love. His smile erupts across his face like it could shatter his cheekbones. His eyes glimmer like a lake catching the glare of the moonlight.He loves to be so much taller  than me. He thinks it makes him wiser. We spend a lot of time in my room with the doors shut. (We spend a lot of time outside of my room with our mouths shut.) I always wake up first. I lay there looking at him Vulnerable and quiet with the occasional sleep talk. Soft face. Soft sounds.We bond over love for our friends We fight over who gets the corner in my bed.
We tease and We kiss, ooh we kissed.
He loves classical music. We listen in silence.I sit on his stomach and laugh maniacally and pout my lips when he won’t be fair.
He is my occasional constant.
i think i'm falling in love with him.
I think he's fallen for her.
 11° 
Sara Duodu
I am exhausted
But no matter how long I lay in bed
Sleep evades me

I toss and turn
Playing our conversations over in my head
Trying to find where I went wrong

And I wonder
If you will ever let me sleep
As peacefully as you do at night
 11° 
Inner Demons
Despite the screaming in my head,
The tears in my eyes
"I'm fine..."
Is what I said
"I'll be there in a few minutes..."
Then I put down the phone
And ran into the street
My suicide
"An accident" they'll say
The perfect plan.

The average person lies four times a day,
The most common lie is
"I'm fine"

I nvisible
'
M arred
F ucked
I nsecure
N uerotic
E mpty
 10° 
Nylee
Some pray to not feel guilty
because they know
they've made someone unhappy
not intentionally, no
but for our pleasure, maybe
Right, wrong, don't follow
it escapes our mind till its too late
that it becomes unnecessary
to just say sorry
.
 10° 
Veronica Emilia
i have anxiety
undiagnosed.

sometimes it feels like my head is stuffed with crumpled balls of paper: the things I never said, the things I should have never said, the things that someone never said to me.

all of these things are written on every piece of paper
there are so many right now that no more would be able to fit
yet i can't stop thinking things, i can't stop saying stupid things, i can't stop wishing things.

i sigh I reach up to my forehead and i grasp my bangs
with my shaky hands and pull

i'm hoping one day when i do this
the top of my head will yank open
all of these crumpled pieces of thoughts
will pour out in a pile
on the floor
i will kneel down
and uncrumple each and every piece
i will read each one
until my head fills up again.
 10° 
Steve
I know I’m a cancer,
I know I’m a disease,
no matter how hard I try I always lose,
was I born to fail,
am I made to suffer,
I’m nothing but a phase,
you’ll find someone better,
you’ll get tired and you’ll leave me,
I’ll be thrown away,
I’ll be used and forgotten,
be happy without me,
I’m caged forever,
my pirated soul burns,
a ghost of myself,
this parasitic love slowly drains me,
craving the feeling,
please don’t go,
I beg to be free,
I need to be saved,
I’ll never know loves soft cradle,
I know false gods,
I know temporary life,
temporary worship,
I am loneliness,
I am pain,
despair loves me more then people ever will,
sip away my sorrows,
count my burdens,
my ravaged essence,
stolen loves laugh,
time to put this old horse down,
kiss death goodnight

oh love me now
 10° 
aviisevil
my breath is blue
cold and forgettable
in this dark room
and with my eyes closed
composed of a mind
and all its follies,
that I cannot switch off;

i am lost, yes,
bless'd with a life
i never would have
known otherwise,

of minutes, mountains and
stones, wise men; a home
and sun rise,

here on this rock
me and so many like me
will die, pretending we
never would,

consuming blood and wood
even burning the forest down
'tis his kingdom, filled with
people bad and good,

some mad and filled with
scars and broken days
then there's that who
has no need for a place,
some wear stars and some
wear no face, some are meant
to die, some meant to stay

some go away never to
come back, some find
grey days soothing as they
pass by, some live
in good-byes, and some dye
themselves, some don't cry,

some won't die, and we'd
watch them live forever,
whilst we break our lies,

i live the lies too, yes,
but that's more bless'd, in
this storm of illusion,
outside this dark room
where i bleed away bits of
me, everytime i step out,

loud noises and the clock,
to break me down,

silence louder than words,
empty air for me to drown
trapped in a circle 'round
my neck,

eyes to dream me a crown,
and a mind for the countless
worthless things i've found
gagged and bound,
in the deepest layers
miles deeper than my skin
sinking, and inking my
breath blue.
 10° 
Little Bird
I have memorized every inch of him
in hopes that when he goes
I might still have something left

but his picture fades with everyday
and now I have only shapes and shadows
of the man that I love
With love,
kelsey
 9° 
Cassian
Dad
You always point out every flaw dad
Always reminding me of everything I do wrong
You never cared how I felt dad
Always comparing me to someone else
I already know how stupid I am dad
Believe me I’ve been told thousands of times
That’s why I want to move away from you
You’ve made me feel alone dad
While still saying you’re my friend
I cared but you didn’t
That was my problem I accept responsibility for that
But the hardest part about letting go is that
I’ll never hear you running after me
Deep into the cold
I'm lost
I don't know the time
I see her but she ain't mine
The evilness is changing my mind
Endless ways of getting out this life
You can't save me
You've already broke me
You can't change me
I'm sitting here in the dark
Going through my life
I'm just trying to survive
There's writings on the wall
I'm barley able to crawl
I want to say goodbye to my life
But I'm not strong enough to grab that knife
This is a sign, so there I lie
I guess I'm not ready to die
 8° 
lena k
you stole my light
when i told you to stop
and you ignored my red light
and kept going
like my body was undiscovered land
and you were a colonizer.
perhaps my asking you to stop
turned you on
made you hungry.
you looked at me with your hungry eyes
like i was fresh meat
for you to take and have for yourself
ignoring my stop signs
cries
screams
because i am nothing more
than an object to you
made for your manipulation and pleasures.
consent is key
 8° 
Nobody
I grew up in a religious home,
they implemented this dream
that one day ill be come a priest
And it was the only way to make them happy.

I lived this silly dream up until the end of 5th grade when i realized,
There is no god.

Fore how can a man of such holy stature commit all these heinous crimes against his own "children".
I was 10 years old when i realized i had enough, that my voice needed to be heard.

They dont talk about little boys getting molested, almost intentionally looking away as if it never happens.

Us boys are taught a long list of rules from a young age to never cry, never show fear, never back down, just a whole lot of nevers.

But I was never taught to deal with a grown man inside me.

Believe me it hurt, it hurt more than any pain i have felt to this day.
What made it worse was the one inside me, my father.

At first it started off innocent enough, he was drunk and didnt know what he was doing.
But it soon progressed into a side business he ran under the table
"20 dollars, 20 mins"

At 8 years old, brandy became my best friend. She was the only thing that numbed my pain, although forced down my throat so I wont fight back, I learned to enjoy the burn.

A year later i went to my first party.
Months of getting beat down and broke all was ment for this day.

23 guys; one boy.
I still feel your touch, and it burns.
I hate myself for looking exactly like you father.
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