My heart has never before been so torn.
You.
I've never thought of you as more than a friend,
until now.
You'd make a great boyfriend and husband.
We fit so well as friends,
but as more than friends?
College awaits you,
while I stay behind.
I'll see you soon, I said.
But will I?
And you.
From the moment I met you,
I knew I liked you.
Your dazzling eyes and kind smile.
You warm my heart.
I love the thought of you.
But I know it could never work.
I'm leaving soon and all the memories we've made,
will be lost.
But every time I look at that picture,
my heart fills with hope.
In time, all will be clear.
But patience, my dear;
is just my souvenir.
Sometimes i feel so small, and so weak that i cant even hold the weight of my skin over my bones. The shaking of my skeleton rattles in my chest, making my shallow, trembling breaths sound like the ringing of the phone when i try to call you, and when you pick up is when my heart tries to skip a thousand beats, but drags itself on the ground for a thousand miles instead, bleeding and losing life every inch of the way.
Once upon a time
When the time wasn't a line
I met a who/man named Godot
In a bar, all alone, calm but fine
It was raining outside
And we both were drunk
S/he had a star in h/is/er left eye
And in the other one the sun
S/he had a face from golden sand
Not only one but thousands ones
S/he was drinking from an iron cup
In front of bar's haunted mirror
His gun was shining on the table
S/he was drinking
And it was raining outside
* * *
I asked h/er/im to light my cigarette
Complately indifferent
And with strange reflex I asked:
"Whom s/he will kill tonight?"
We met right there that night
It was raining outside
And we were both drunk
With an unnecessary smile "you"
S/he said, unnecessary though
I sat down beside
It was raining outside
We started to drink till late night
It was raining outside
Then without any hesitation
l killed h/er/im at end of that night.
Without knowing
If in the universe
If is there anyone
Who wait for h/im/er to come.
Selman Akıl
25.07.2017
This is why, I hate life.
Either born lucky or unlucky,
Which country?
What the fuck r you gonna feed yourself in the future?
What disease you might contract?
But worse of all,
It's the jail cell,
Waiting at the end of the day,
However tired,
However much I know I need to eat,
To sleep,
My mind just shuts off.
Are we just going to be dogs to this society, or just another jail cell,
Waiting out there,
In the place they call the outside world?
It scares me,
But the adventures fuels my adrenaline,
But how long more,
Can I find another tank to fill,
Just to keep this adrenawline in full tank.