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your love is my drug
i need more although you are bad for me
i need your body on mine to ease the pain
i need your lips pressed against mine to fuel my addiction
i need you to drift me to sleep at night
your love is my drug
and i am helplessly addicted
i overdosed on you
throughout the years
my heart has been bashed and broken
shattered and torn
dismantled and crushed
but i kept it together with nails and screws

then he came along
and slowly tore them out
one by one
until he was the only thing holding me together

he mended my broken heart
and i no longer need nails and screws to hold me together
he saved my broken heart
loving you felt alright
but in the back of my mind it never felt right
the only thing that puts me to rest
is knowing that we are looking up at the same constellations
and sitting underneath the same moon
you, me, the moon, and the stars
my heart aches for people ive never met
my heart recognizes what it wants although its never witnessed it before

not everything i crave is from memory
to my future soul mate, the future love of my life, i will never give up my search for you
but nothing good came out
of our perfect storm
why is it hard to see
plain reality
when your heart is focused on another
his heart is a puzzle
too complex to solve
but all she has ever wanted was to own his heart

so she gathered the pieces
accounted for them one by one
and began to assemble the puzzle
although in her own heart, she knew it would never be completed
you are so complicated
maybe im the puzzle
but youre still the pieces
driving in my car
nearing the next intersection
green light
its okay to go
i see you
perpendicular to me
a red light illuminating your face
you appear to be stopping
an illusion of safety
because you are not stopping
neither of us are stopping
we are hurling towards each other
becoming closer and closer together
nearly inches from each other
my life is flashing before my eyes
i look into your big brown eyes
bracing for inevitable impact
and we crash
debris flying everywhere
fire kindling over our engines
metal scraping upon metal
our cars dragging across the cold hard cement
sirens blaring in the distance
i feel blood running down my body
im gasping for breath
unable to move a single limb
but i scan my eyes over the scene
searching for you
i need to make sure you are okay
i see you step out of your vehicle
not a scratch upon your body
i call out for you but no words come out of my mouth
only murmurs
i try to reach out for you
demanding your attention
but i cannot seem to muster the strength
and then your eyes meet mine
and my heart refills with your passion
i remember all the love you have given me before
all the moments we have shared together
you look at me with a cold stare
like you dont even recognize me
then you turn around
begin to walk away from me
and flee the scene of your crime
you left me in ruins
destruction to smithereens
and then walked away like i meant nothing
you were never concerned with me
you were just a reckless driver
and i guess i was just at the right place at the right time
our love ended like a car crash
your love will live forever inside me
even if its tucked far back into the unreachable dark parts of my heart
i will never forget you
is there ever a point in life that we are
not wanting to go back
and not wanting to go forward?
we forget to cherish the present
i wish i could be unaffected by the scars of my past
but time can heal no wound of mine
the marks will last a lifetime
a pen
in my hand
touched the paper
and spilled out my emotions haphazardly

then i put the paper
in a glass bottle
sealed it with a cork
and pitched it into the deep ocean
sealing up my emotions and throwing them far away
in this sea of sorrow
i refuse to drown
when i was with you
i was on a serotonin overdose
my brain released chemicals derived from you
oh the serenety of the snow
blanketing the earth
sparkling irradescently
a glowy facade of icy bliss
i could watch it fall for hours
flake by flake
appreciating the uniqueness of each one
until they dissapear into the ground
combining together to form a pile of glistening beauty
its been so long
since i got to hold you
but i still cant seem to get you off my mind
its taking me so long just to say so long
i shouldnt lose sleep
over someone who isnt afraid to lose me
but i cant stop thinking about you
our bodies match in an absolutely flawless manner
they sing together with a fiery passion
theyre symphonies writing themselves
theyre perfect harmonies within
like a cadence of sweet victory
our bodies together sing in the perfect key
symptoms of love include:

exhilaration
euphoria
emotional lapses
racing heartbeat
uncontrollable smiling
butterflies in the stomach
intense bouts of joy
fire within the soul
yearning
pure joy and bliss

if you have been experiencing any of these symptoms, it is imperative that you express them or they may result in extreme heartbreak
i cant stand another tear upon my face
derived from the absence of you

the drops from my eyes
burn holes into my heart
until i am nothing but a numb soul
the fine line between love and hate
happens to be you
at times you fill my heart with anguish
but your love still draws me towards you
and i hate everything you did to me
but somehow i am still wholeheartedly in love with every part of you
why do i still love you after you ripped my heart apart?
if i had known it was going to be the last time i saw you
i wouldve taken in every detail of you
the scent of your cologne
the softness of your hair
the feeling of your hands on my body
the sense of comfort i felt when your arm was around me
the sound of your voice
the rhythm of our lips locking together
the emotional connection between us
the safety i felt when you touched me
the feeling that we were the only two people in the world
if i had known it was going to be the last time i ever saw you
i wouldve remembered every little thing
i am starting to forget what you were like
he wrote poems inside of me
he carefully inscribed each letter
allowed my moans to fill the blank pages
and ended the story with one last rhythmic line
leaving me begging for more
they say the oceans blue but its black right now
in the dark, on the sand, looking out at the clouds

depression and drowning screaming out their full parts
lightning reveals where the ocean stops and the sky starts

and a random strike of light reminds me of what is true
but right now the oceans black and the sky is too
if i had known it was going to be the very last time i was embracing you
i might have taken notice of the little things
like the way our lips locked together and moved in such a beautiful rhythmic motion
and the way our bodies fit together like a jigsaw puzzle
and the way your voice sang perfect harmonies along with mine
if i had known it was going to be the very last time i was embracing you
i might have taken notice of the little things
its only been a single day since our breakup, i miss every little thing about you like hell
a piece of my heart will always belong to him, no matter what.
I am not bitter.
I am not upset.
He loved me the way he knew how to love,
and isnt that beautiful?
ive been looking for love in the wrong places
like an explorer on a voyage
through the deep dark ocean
searching for new lands
but never finding them
its a purposeless and meaningless search because i already know that, like the explorer, i will never find the love i need
i never knew how much the heart could break
until i was lying next to you
and you were thinking about someone else
i know you were imagining i was her when we were together. the difference between me and her is you actually loved her, but you just used me.
if i wrote you a poem
for every time ive thought about you
i would be writing for an eternity
never lifting my pen
i would write you a novel
i kept pouring myself
into your palms
but you let me leak through your fingers
and drip onto the cold hard ground
i gave you everything i had
together
we watch the sun depart
down into the earth

together
we watch the moon rise
into the deep black sky
two roses-
growing in the same bush-
surviving off the same soil-
growing into something beautiful-
becoming something greater-
growing as one

the sun-
shining bright upon them-
encouraging their growth-
lighting up their future-
calming their senses-
kindling the passionate affair-
moving them closer together-
more intimate and dear

the sun neglects its obligation to one of the roses-
refusing a light source for the bloom-
leaving it wilted and begging for nutrients-
brown and fragile-
dying as the sun proceeds to rise over the other rose

the second rose continues growing along with the sun-
in spite of the downfall of the latter-
almost mocking the lesser decaying bloom-
because it has a source of light encouraging its growth-
safe and sound-
not giving any pity to the rotting flower beside it-
soaking up its own source of light-
and not sharing any rays with the decaying blossom-
rendering it useless and unwanted

the selfishness of the one rose-
refusing to share its sunshine with the latter-
results in solely one rose-
instead of two roses
stop taking my light, i want to grow, too
my first kiss
my first love
want to remember.
the heartbreak
the abandonment
want to forget.
i want to remember the passion but want to forget the heartbreak
when i close my eyes-
i see him-
in the eternal darkness behind my rational thoughts and emotions-
he appears from nowhere and grasps my hand-
and it feels like forever again.
I MISS HIM
little glowing flakes
blissful and divine
snow glistens into my bright blue eyes
the beauty of simplicity
of a simple blank white canvas
means winter is upon us
you
you
i didnt stay in the relationship because i was happy
i stayed because it was you
the ‘you’ who used to surprise me with flowers on a bad day
the ‘you’ who used to always find a way to make me smile
the ‘you’ who used to remind me of what it feels like to be alive
i didnt stay because i was happy
i stayed because it was
you.
i kept remembering the good times and dismissing the bad. i shouldve let you go sooner
if you would only look at my heart
you would see that your initials are carved deep inside
and im etching away at my heart trying to remove the marks you have left on me
but it seems to be too late
they wont etch away
and my heart will be forever branded with your name
i need to move on
but its too hard

— The End —