I count my I love you’s in the stars I see in the night sky
In my hometown on a clear winter night
Not in the city
You’ve only heard the bright ones, the ones that light up the sky, the ones that people have names for, that they build stories around
(It’s a shame that they’re all just stories now)
But I like the soft ones, dimmer but no less beautiful
The I love you’s you can hear on the breeze as you wrap your arm around me when we’re hiking
(It makes it hard to walk but I don’t push away too fast)
The I love you’s that were shot across dining rooms full of people
(I’m sure I had it written all over my face)
The I love you’s in white wine close to grape juice
(Even though I know that’s not what you prefer)
The I love you’s in every almost we could’ve had, the ones I never got the chance to say that I whisper to myself still
(In the shower, on my walks home, as I fall asleep)
Count them
I know you see them too
I love you

You love me like a poor boy
Who grew up without heat
Cold house cold room cold bed
Now you make my bed warm
But when you leave my souls cold
It’s hard to know what warmth is when it’s not in your vocabulary
There’s a pleasant sort of irony in lighting people on fire just to let them burn out
Tears can’t quench all flames

His arm already had about ten tick marks on it
He liked them in neat sets of five, like a school child would write them while they’re learning to count
Sometimes he asked for them to be drawings
One tally was green, with a rosebud on the end
One had the texture of a rope you’d find keeping boats tied to the dock
One was just a simple line like all the others, but blue
He would come in roughly every three weeks or so, sometimes more often sometimes less, never on the same day but always around the same time, two pm
Once he’d hit 11 marks, and I had to start a new set, I finally asked him what they were for
I joked that I’d seen Black Panther one too many times to assumed they’d be for anything but lives taken
He looked solemn
And said not taken but lost
He went on to say that he worked for the suicide hotline
And every time someone called in and didn’t make it through
He got another tick mark
He said he wanted to remember them, to show that someone cared about their lives even though they never thought anyone did
The rose was for a girl, fresh out of college, she made it through classes but not through the anxiety that had haunted her for four years
She had called about a week before she departed, saying that the smell of roses was the only thing that was keeping her going
A drought came through, scorching everything
He read in the paper that she’d died not to long after that
It wasn’t always the suicidal ones who called though
Sometimes it was friends, family, concerned people that wanted to help
One time a friend called after a death
Asking about signs they could’ve caught, making sure that nothing like this would happen to someone they loved again, because they would catch it next time
Her friend was found in the family pool
The only thing the girl said was that at least the last thing she saw was the blue of the sky, or the water, or the bottom
Blue was her favorite color
Hence the blue tally mark
The rope he said was a classic
His whole arm could’ve been covered in ropes if he wished
Some of the worst ones he couldn’t bear to remember, didn’t dare ink onto his arm
The sound of the phone crashing to the floor after a gunshot went off in the background, after minutes of pleading look just take they phone they can help you
Some of them gave reasons, others didn’t
They couldn’t live with mistakes they had made or things were getting hard or everything just hurt
He said he’d been working this job for about a year or so now, and that most people don’t last much longer than that
It takes too much of a toll on them, but he said this was nowhere near the burdens his callers were carrying
With that, the next line was done
I didn’t really know what to say, besides to wish him well and that I hoped I never saw him again
He said the same

They say
Don’t kiss and tell
They say
I’d rather keep this between us
They say
If anyone finds out we could get into trouble

I say
*******
I say
I’ll speak my truth
I say
I shouldn’t have to hide what wasn’t my mistake

They called me a temptress
Rolling the dessert cart out always makes people say the oddest thing
You’re a temptress
I always assumed they were talking about the desserts
The ones I’ve repeated so many times I can rattle them off from memory without the cart in front of me
I never thought they’d be talking about me
I am dessert

I am cake
Not chocolate, I’m not dark enough to be called by such an unimaginative and racist name
Cheesecake
White and pale because I’d never dare to tan without bottoms on
Light brown just around the edges because I can’t help if those bottoms happen to be a little cheeky
Cake for the way my *** looks in the leggings I wear nearly everyday
Cake because I know you’re watching when I tip myself into the freezer to scoop ice cream
Cake for the way the girls tap it as they go by
I am cheesecake

I have creme brûlée skin
Light until I lay out in the sun, under the broiler
Browned to perfection
Covered in darker spots where the heat was too intense, freckles dancing across my cheeks
I am a creme brûlée

I have a cobbler mouth
Pink, nearly red lips
A perfect circle right before I kiss
Sweet and supple like a raspberry
Tangy like a cranberry if I bite
(I have yet to find a boy that doesn’t enjoy that)
Words, sticky sweet, spill out like melted ice cream
I am a cobbler

I have key lime eyes
The centers lined with pumpkin
Sometimes they turn blueberry
It changes with the seasons
(The pies are seasonal too)
I have pie eyes

Maybe when they said temptress they were talking about me
Cake that could be called chocolate when it’s wrapped in black dress pants
Creme brûlée skin that’s all covered up but my face and my hands
But see, see my freckles
See how they cover every inch of me
Cobbler mouth asking if there’s anything else you may want
If you want something to drink with that
My voice dripping out two pitches higher, sticky sweet
Blueberry eyes, almost always, the blue of my shirt brings it out
Even if I’ve only seen that flavor served once
Maybe I am dessert

Dessert
The first thing that gets dropped
Always last choice
Those who say they’ll save room still start with a main course
Dessert
Only eaten if your main course didn’t fill you up, wasn’t satisfying enough for you
Only touched if your girlfriend or your last **** or your lonely aren’t satisfying enough for you
Dessert
If you’re full would you like one to go
Keep me in your pocket, save me for another day
I’ll wait, I don’t know how not to
Dessert

They always called me a temptress
I always assumed they were taking about the desserts
I am dessert
Maybe they were talking about me

One hour after: her lipstick still lives on my cheek, a stain that has somehow managed to find its way to my heart
One hour before: she is still laughing at my jokes but her smile never reaches her eyes
One day after: I've tried calling and calling and calling, her voice mail taunts me but I never seem to get through
One day before: she says she's just tired, only tired, there's nothing wrong at all, but she doesn't wrap her arms around me as she sleeps
One week after: I've been lying in my bed unable to function because most of the time your laughter was the only thing that kept me going
One week before: we visited the carnival and you gripped my arm as hard as you could on the Ferris wheel, screaming about how you hated heights and hated me for bringing you up here. I should've known then
One month after: I've been told that heartache shouldn't last this long, that there's plenty of fish in the sea, to go out and find someone new, but they don't realize that nobody could replace you
One month before: we lay tangled in your bedsheets, warm bodies touching and moving together, laughing, singing, full of joy, full of life
One year after: I've met someone else, she has your same hair and same long legs but not the same laugh, not the same smile, and somehow I'm okay with that

There will be lakes and rivers and broken dreams
There will be happiness and sunshine and fallen down trees
There will be smoke and ashes and bright burning coals
There will be holes and patches and unworn clothes
There will be peace and sorrow and a great big war
There will be killings and hangings and meadows of green
There will be love and blood and half open caskets
There will be beauty and torture and pain among masses
There will be strength and heart and paper unfolding
There will be stories and pleasure and and and

It was like molten glass, his love
It poured through me
Filling every gap,
Every hole in my being that I couldn't fill myself
And as time went on,
The glass cooled
Hardening
Strengthening my bones
And my spirit
Fragile, yes
But she was careful
She knew his love was a gift
So she kept it safe
And in turn,
It made her strong,
Stronger than she ever was before

The wind roared
Whipping through the newly leaved trees
The rain drops plummeted down from the clouds
Soaking everything in their path
Including a little girl
Who loved to dance in the rain
Lightning struck a tree not too far from her
Thunder shaking the earth
She laughed as the static and sounds waves coursed through her veins
The storms reminded her of her parents
Violent and loud during their fights
And then clean and peaceful after they made up
They also reminded her of herself
Raw power barely contained inside her little form
The ability to amaze and intimidate all at once
The storm was a glorious force of nature
And she was blessed enough to be one too

It's three am
We're walking the empty beach
Lovers are the only people silly enough to be up at this hour
It's six am
We're crashed on your best friends couch
Curled up tight because there's barely room for one, let alone the both of us
It's nine am
There are pancakes and strawberries, almost in edible because I'm known for burning everything I touch
You eat them anyway
It's twelve pm
The sun makes the world too warm, so we stay inside in our underwear
Wasting the day away watching stupid movies
It's three pm
You've fallen asleep
And I've taken to tracing the lines of your face with my forefinger
It's six pm
There's champagne and flowers and a warm bath
My lips burn from all the kisses
It's nine pm
Your words are full of honey and brass tacks
I never knew something this sweet could hurt me so
It's twelve am
You're gone, slipping out the back door as soon as my eyelids close
You won't be coming back
It's three am
I'm screaming on the bathroom floor, struggling not to open the medicine cabinet
I don't know how to handle the pain

I love you like an ace of hearts
A card as unpredictable as any other
The highest ranking or the lowest, depending on what sort of game you choose to play
I'd choose to play blackjack, and always make you worth 11 points, even if it put me over twenty-one
Because I want to prove your worth to you, even if it costs me a game or two
And I wouldn't play with just any deck
Oh no, I'd always play with the deck full of the cards you know and love
Some of these cards may become old and torn and stained, and may need to be replaced when they've run their course
But that ace of hearts will always remain, no matter how many battles it has seen
Eventually people will realize that the oldest card is your ace of hearts, but that will matter not
Because that card will stand the test of time, and remain there forevermore

It says you were active 12 minutes ago
Even though you've been dead for twelve years
It was probably your cousin, you took over your page a few days after your passing
She turned it into a sort of yearbook, just for you
I wish you could see it
I always get my hopes up when I see that little green do appear on the screen
But it's never you
It hasn't been you in so long
It feels like just yesterday, you were by my side
Smiling and laughing and braiding your sister's hair
She hasn't worn a braid since you left
She says that nobody else can do it half as well as you did
We all miss you darling
I wish you'd come back
Even though I know you can't
You're still alive in my dreams though
And you'll always have your place in my heart

It's 7 a.m.
I can still feel you in my bones
It's been months, years
Hundreds of thousands of days
But it's nights like this I can't help but remember
The way you touched me, it made me feel like there were butterflies hatching under my skin
Trying to escape
I used to think they were trying to fly to you
But now I know they were trying to get home
You made the trapped parts of me rise to the surface
The parts I had buried deep in the depths of my soul
In a place where nobody could ever reach them
The thorns in the maze of my heart had kept my secrets safe
Until you woke them up
But I realized that you couldn't set my butterflies free
I had to do that myself
Oh and it's been years or pain and torture and trying to win you back
You woke me up, but you could never set me free
And now, after all this time
I've finally figured out that I'm the only one who can help my butterflies get home

12 days after midnight I found you
You were laughing at god knows what, probably some joke one of your friends made
From across the room, it looked like you didn't have a care in the world
But eventually I realized this wasn't true
As our worlds spun closer together, I learned of your love for cake and puppies and all things that made you smile
And of the dark past that haunted your soul
It was refreshing to know someone so real in this world of Barbie doll girls and boys that didn't know the difference between lust and respect
You made me forget the tragedy of my past
You pushed aside the broken memories of my past and made me feel like I could survive again
You were my lifeboat, my saving grace
You helped me float and forced me to learn how to swim again
And I will forever thank you for being there
12 days after midnight

Darling I know the sun hasn't shone for you in a long time,
But the night never lasts forever.
You've seen things that people never should,
And you have done things that most people never could.
You've lived through hell
And come out on top
And I know that you'll never stop.
No mountain is too high
No ocean too deep
No promise you can't keep
Keep your head up
And you will see
That everything is exactly how it's supposed to be
There's warmth in your heart
And a spark in your mind
And everyone knows
You're one of a kind
You have control of your fate and destiny
And you have the means to set yourself free
The words of other men will never bog you down
Because you're already so high off the ground
I believe
That you can achieve
Anything you set your heart on
And you'll be put down in history




Never let anyone tell you otherwise

I was once told that
You are what you listen too
And if that fact is true
I must be at least three quarters you

He whispers sweet nothings into my ear
His quiet musings that lull me to sleep
His teeth gently graze my earlobe, pulling at my earring
He's almost like a raven, always fixating on the shiny parts of me
Except instead of repeating never more, he screams forever from the rooftops
He's taught me how to fly
How to leave the ground
How to soar above the earth, into the clouds
He's given me hope and serenity and peace
And for this I will forever be grateful

Dear god, his touch is like fire.
His fingertips leave burns on my skin, every place he lays his palm blisters
It's mesmerizing
Everyone knows the flames will hurt if you touch them, but they are oh so pretty
And he just so happens to be  gorgeous, the type that I can't take my eyes off of
It doesn't matter if every time my skin meets his, it scalds my heart
None of it matters anymore
Because he provides the most addicting kind of torturous pain that I could ever imagine
But as soon as he takes his hands away, I turn cold as the ice I was born from
He is full of fire and I am made of ice, and oh he makes me melt

It made no sense to her
All these rules and regulations
All these laws they had set up without a second thought
She was had always been recalcitrant
Never wanting to mindlessly obey the powers that be
She didn't believe in any sort of god,
In any being that was above others
And she didn't believe any human should be above her either
She created her own rules and formed her own morals
And figured just as long as she stuck with those, she could be true to herself

She was stunning, gorgeous
Everywhere she went she turned heads
The boys whistled, the girls muttered their jealousy
They poked and prodded her until she was reduced to nothing more than a hopeless nobody
She stopped trying, she stopped looking for the compliments and the easy smiles that seemed to spring up when she came around
She didn't know what had turned the opinions of so many,
Maybe it was a nasty rumor made by a popular girl
It could have been anything really
But all that tearing down allowed her to build back up
She realized that she didn't need the makeup and the dresses and the fancy shoes to be beautiful
What really mattered was her heart, her soul
And so she found beauty inside
Her new found shining grace shone from deep beneath her skin
And although there was still muttering when she walked in the room,
She had learned to push it all aside
And see the true beauty of the world around her

She never thought that she'd get to this point
She was so far overboard that she couldn't think, couldn't even dream of anybody else
She was so far gone
So enveloped in his being
That she would sacrifice everything to be with him
Her family, her job
Her hopes, her dreams
All out the window to be with the man she loved
But she would be lucky if he never let her down

If I believed in a god I would be praying
But I don't, so I shall write my sins and sorrows down for the world to see

The nights that will be spent telling secrets are the ones I will cherish the most
Our bodies sharing the same space, even though your bed is a continent and there is more than enough room to spread out
But neither of us will want to risk the void that will lie between us
The chasm of separation that can only be mended by leaving no satin between lovers
We will watch movies and dance and dance and dance
Our feet moving slowly as I lay my head against your chest
I will let you hold me until the earth is swallowed up by the ever expanding sun
We will swap stories and music and unfinished poetry
I will distract you from everything you planned on getting done that day, but the mundane tasks you will want to complete will be no match for my terrible jokes
You will teach me how to play my poetry on the piano, and I will show you how to gently run your scarred fingers through my hair
We will light scented candles and eat stale Valentines Day candy until our bellies are full to the brim
And I will let you love me as I slowly learn to fall in love with you.

He's the North Pole and she's the South Pole and although they have a few things in common, they are total opposites and it's hard trying to run between the two of them. I am the equator and the prime meridian but I feel myself drifting. I'm becoming the Tropic of Cancer because I prefer the polar bears and his smile and it's hard to deal with the harsh winters of Antarctica. But for now I have to stay where I am so that the balance of the world will remain.

She said she loved him more than anything else on earth
Maybe it was because she actually felt for his soul
But maybe it was only because he had lived through the same hell as her
And he made it out alive
Maybe he was only a figurehead
Something she could attach the idea of hope to
The embodiment of what she wanted to be
But if this was truly the reason for her continuous affection, I will never know
Because she keeps her reasons to herself
And maybe it's better off that way

Baby I'm telling you
It's an addiction
I just can't stop
Your lips are like sugar
And your heart is like rain
And somehow I manage
To fight through the pain
Your words hold a secret
The key to my heart
But all you want to do
Is get lost in your art
I'm going through withdrawal
My heart is staring to stall
I'm slowing down to a crawl
And darling,
You're the only one with the strength to start me up again

I'm addicted to the way words fall slowly, tentatively, from your lips. They seem to sense that they have the potential to strike a chord deep within my being. Your heart-strings are poured out through soft lips, and fall upon loving ears. The time you spend meticulously searching for the most elegant way to phrase your thoughts pays off in the end. The harmonious sound of your voice lulls even the most rambunctious of crowds, and leaves them murmuring about your spoken words long after you have left the stage. And knowing it was your beautiful mind behind those words, just makes it all the more powerful.

The ocean is a metaphor
For your strength and dignity
And you bring out the best
In everyone you see
Though the waves may crash
And threaten to destroy your world
You hold your head up high
Without the help of any Lord
Your hair is golden honey
And your eyes like icy rain
The inner beauty of you soul
Shines through through all the pain
The courage of your heart
Is stronger than the greatest soldier
And I hope you'll stay and lend your strength
Even though we'll both get older
Darling, you deserve the world
Even if you don't believe it
And anything you put your mind too
I'm sure you will achieve it

Why did I say yes
It would have been so much easier to pretend that you weren't there
To pretend I didn't care
But you were there
You snuck into my heart
And now you will never leave
You've broken my heart
Just when I thought I had it fixed for good
You lied
You cheated
You never loved me
But still you stayed
Told me you loved me
Changed me
Made me forget who I really was
Sent me to this ******* up, unhappy little death hole
And completely and utterly destroyed my world
I can't trust monsters anymore
So go away
And DON'T EVER COME BACK

No, no you don't understand.
What most people fail to realize is that there is more than one type of love. The love I feel for my parents is different from the love I feel for my friends, which isn't anything like the love I feel for the boy who's captured me attention. Even still, I love each of my friends differently. The English language only has one word to label a hundred thousand different feelings. Love is a broad term, and I will use it broadly. Most people would probably say I'm just throwing it around, that I don't actually love the people I'm saying it too, but I do. I love them with all my heart, and there's very little in this world that could ever change that.

Sometimes life can be a little too much to handle, so we turn to someone to help us through the hard times…
But there isn't always someone there to help…
Sometimes we get hurt, and we turn to our friends for comforting words…
But what if they're hurt too…
That's why I'm here, I'll be your friend when no one else seems to care, your warmth when you're cold, your needle and thread when you need to be patched up. I'll stay by your side when you need protection, I'll be there to catch you when you fall, I'll still love you when you're surrounded by hate,
And I expect you to do the same…
I'm here for you,
And I hope you'll be there for me too.
Because you mean the world to me,
And I'll love you forever and
Always

Write me the words
The words of your soul
Show me your heart
Blistered and broken
Sing me the melody
Of your deep and tragic past
Read to me
The emotions that are too hard to express
Try to make me understand
The things you've gone through,
Witnessed,
Relived a hundred thousand times
Then I will know
The depths of your being
And put the pieces back in place
So you can finally be whole again.

I think it's easier for people to feel sympathy for others when their ailments are tangible, physical. We've all felt aches and pains before. It's much harder to find sympathy when another person's sickness is trapped inside their mind. It makes it seem as if they have control over what is going on inside their heads; I can control my thoughts, why can't you?? But it isn't that way at all. It's not really the victim's mind speaking to them, it's the demons that reside in the dark corners of their thoughts, thieves that come to steal away happiness in the middle of the night. They can't control these demons, so they try to let them out by painting their skin red. Even though their emotions have now entered the realm of the physical, most people still don't understand. They don't understand how someone could hate themselves so much that they would run a blade over their own skin in an attempt to right their wrongs. They don't understand that in those moments, the demons are in control. And there's no telling what they will do. Many people cannot wrap their minds around a concept such as this, but I dare you to try. Tear down the walls of your sheltered little life and see if you can survive one night in her hell. I bet you wouldn't. The mind is the most powerful muscle in the body, why can't people understand that it's fated to take the biggest hit??

They say contagious like it's only meant for disease
I try to assure you that when people say parts of you are contagious,
They aren't talking about the broken pieces that you try so hard to bury beneath your skin
Yes, two thirds of the definitions in the dictionary have to do with sickness and tragedy
But two thirds isn't everything
The better third can over power the others,
Just as the sun burns away the rain clouds
And the only thing contagious about you, dear
Is the way you weave your words together in a pattern so elegant it makes my heart stir like never before
And that's what I love you for

I am not my body

I am not the freckles scattered across my face like mismatched constellations
I am not the extra cupcakes that find their way to my thighs
I am not the shade of my eyes nor the hue of my skin
I am not the dark circles that come from lack of sleep
I am not the imperfections that appear on my forehead

I am my soul

I am a sad song on a lonely Saturday night
I am cute movies at midday and romantic comedies at midnight
I am the moon and the sun and the stars and the trees dancing in the wind
I am love and heartbreak, art and music
I am the clothes I wear and the people I associate with
I am the eye of a hurricane

My body is just a fragile house for the memories and dreams that live inside me.
And I refuse to be defined by that in which I reside.

Wind, water, and fire
They all do the same
Blow away the sorrows
Wash away the pain
And burn the slate clean
But I don't think any of these three elements can rid me of my memories of you
Because you are my earth,
And nothing is stronger than that

You sit just across the table from me but you may as well be a universe away
I know you aren't happy with the way your life is going right now and I wish I could change that
I'd kiss your scars and hold your hand and lie with you, my head on your chest, while we watched all your favorite shows
And I'd stay, even if there were a hundred episodes and it took us three days to watch them all
I'd come up with the best surprises but you'd never be surprised because my excitement would bubble over and I can't keep a secret to save my life
I'd give you keys to the locked up memories of my heart and let you dig through the parts of me that nobody else gets to see
I'd make you tea and coffee and hot coco every morning, even though you'd probably wake up before I would
I'd take you to the park and we'd have picnics and play hooky like we did in grade school
We'd debate about science and religion and love at six pm over chocolate chip pancakes
We'd drink champagne and count fireflies under the summer stars
I would do everything in the world with you
Things I've never wanted to do with anybody else until you came along
But you're a universe away
And we can never truly be a "we"

I have enough one liners and unfinished poems that I know that you can't always finish what you start.
Sometimes the ideas run out, sometimes the feeling just goes away and it doesn't turn out how you expected.
Even when you do start things, they just don't always go your way.
Sometimes what you try to start off as a love poem ends up turning into a rant about how lonely and hopeless you are.
But you have to remember that just because you feel a certain way, doesn't mean you're gonna feel that way forever.
Things change, and that's part of life.
You have to accept it, even though you don't want too.
If we always hold onto our past, we can never move forward to the next chapter.
And if we never move forward, we don't know what's going to happen to the characters in our lives.
We don't know what's going I happen to us.
And not knowing is my biggest fear.

Just because you're sad, just because your smile is twisted and you think your soul is broken, doesn't mean that people think any less of you.
Even if you don't feel strong on the inside, you could be someone's beacon of hope and you would never even know.
Most people are too afraid to speak up when it comes to the people they most admire, the people they love, trust.
They don't want to say anything because they'll feel foolish, or stupid, or maybe the person won't accept it, won't believe them.
But you should.
If someone ever tells you that that admire you, that they love you, believe it.
Because that takes a lot of guts, it takes a lot of feeling, it's taken a lot of thought.
And if you just shrug it off, pretend like nothing ever happened, well then that's your problem.
There's beauty in this world, there's beauty inside your soul, even if you don't believe it.

Her soul was a candle flickering in the palm of his hand
Slowly eating away at the wax until it was only the faint murmur of a flame
He ran across deserts and over mountains to try to find a safe place for this little candle
He constantly added wax, trying to rebuild it so it could feel powerful again
He cupped his hands together tightly, trying not to let the breeze slip between the cracks his fingers made
He tried his best, and so the story goes, his best happened to be just enough
The flame of the little candle grew under his protecting watch
It grew large enough to stand on its own, to fight the wind and the rain and the storms all by itself
The candle still needed him though
He provided more wax whenever it was needed, and stuck around to make sure his candle was alright
And she was.
Forever indebted to him, she stood as a beacon of hope for the hopeless, and a symbol of love for the lonely
Forevermore.

PART I
                  -Secrets-

He's not like the boys on the covers of magazines
He's not like the boys you believed would be waiting for you at the end of the aisle
He's one of his own
You weren't expecting him, you didn't even know that a boy like this existed
He's broken every measly expectation you've ever set
But there are some things that must remain under lock and key
He can't know about the one time in fifth grade you broke your best friends arm on purpose so that you could take her spot in the school play. She would have done a much better job in that god forsaken role.
He can't know about the time in seventh grade when your sister's boyfriend took you into the guest bedroom and did unspeakable things to you. You still can't enter that room without having to hold back tears.
He can't know about the time in ninth grade when you opened up your parents liquor cabinet and tried to drown your sorrows in the burning taste of whiskey and ***. You passed out on the floor and almost didn't wake up.
He can't know about the scars, mental and physical, that have haunted you everyday since the day you were born.
This pain is a burden you must bear alone, you would never force even an ounce of your sorrow onto his flawless, muscular back.
You will keep all of it bottled up, because he is the best thing that has ever happened to you, and you can't afford to scare him away.
So stick on that smile and giggle when he says something cute.
Because you're never gonna find another man like him.

                    PART II
                -Revelation-

It was well past midnight when the two of you finally stumbled back into your apartment
You've been sharing the same bed for the past three months
Even though he still doesn't know about your past
And you thought that you'd like to keep it that way
But tonight you weren't so sure
There was something about the way the moon reflected off of the deep pools of his eyes
Something about they way his laugh got a little huskier after he'd had a drink or two
Something about the way he danced with you, always keeping his hands in a respectful place
Something about the way he opened doors and picked up the tab and looked at you like you were the most ******* beautiful thing he had ever seen
It all made you want to spill the truth
Maybe the extra fruity cocktail had given you courage, but no matter what it was, as soon as he had tucked you into bed, all the emotions spilled out.
You told him about your past, about all the horrific events that had shaped you, about all the terrible choices you had made
And when you were done with your story, he held you while you cried

                  PART III
               -Discovery-

He pulled away for a moment, allowing you time to get yourself together
After you had wiped your tears on the bed sheets, you turned to him in wonder
He was still there
He hadn't gotten up and left like you expected.
He had stayed by your side and didn't look like he was leaving anytime soon
Then he told you his story
He wove a tragic tale of a young boy living under the dictatorship of an awful mother
He would show up to school each day, beaten and bruised, and no matter how many times people asked what had happened, he always had an excuse
Because even though his mother rationed his food and locked him in the closet when the dishes weren't perfectly clean, he still loved her with all the love his little heart could put out
But he survived, somehow he made it out of that house alive and had hope for a better tomorrow
And now it was your turn to hold him as he cried

                   PART IV
              -Acceptance-

When both pairs of
eyes were dry, and all the old, broken truths revealed, you curled up in each other's arms arms and gently fell asleep
The next day when you woke up, it was as if nothing and everything had changed
No words were exchanged, the only movement was you shifting to rest your head on his shoulder
The two of you stayed like that for many long minutes, until your stomachs growled in unison, begging for breakfast to be served
And you continued on without another mention of the past
Though the two of you both carried a piece of the other, and had a newfound respect for the other member of your pair

                    PART V
               -Knowledge-

And this is how your story ends
With the knowledge that if your love is really true, you will be accepted for who you are
No matter how tragic or awful your past
There is always hope for the future
As long as your love remains true

She belongs in Cadillacs and lush apartments and big, bright cities
She belongs on the covers of magazines and in the fantasies of boys across the nation
She belongs in four poster beds and silk sheets and decorative pillows
She belongs in high heels and long dresses and expensive perfume
She belongs in perfectly curled hair and flawless makeup
She belongs on red carpets and in the focus of cameras
She belongs in ballrooms and night clubs and fancy hotel rooms
She belongs in loyal arms and a loving heart
She belongs to money and power and fame
And the word stunning belongs to her