How could everything be alright?

Life is scattered

Life is hard

It punches you on the face

With the utmost grace

It rips your heart away

Marking several traces

Of your pain.



It's hard to breathe

Even if it takes a second

It takes my soul

To fulfill my body's greed

To live

When I want to stop living.



All these scars aren't here for nothing

The kisses of blades,

With the redness blushing,

Opens my soul for a moment

But then that moment is soon replaced,

With the outburst of tears,

The heavy weight in me making some place

To bug me again

And again my heart is empty,

As if it was always a void

Just like my entwined mind.



Don't you see I pretend?

I pretend because impression matters

No one likes a sad person who tends

To make others sadder

I pretend because that's what I'm best at

I can be me

But if I continue my 'only me' chat

Then you'll probably see

The person in me.



I talk less

Because silence hides all flaws

It's a drape to hide all the mess,

The mind thinks about all the time making petty laws,

Of living the life

Which can't be applied or shared

But I would in future do everything

Adventurous I thought of if I dared

But there's no way I'll share

My life's not an open book

I won't let my thoughts lie bear.



Nothing's alright,

You already know

Just somehow dodge the questions

And try to show

Your happiness which is completely lost

Your smile which don't make your eyes crinkle

Your laughter which is deep in your heart scattered and tossed

Around the cruel sadness which gulped it down

Show your dull eyes as if they are shimmery

Just wait for that time

When you have your victory

Over the people talking who leave you at last

Like you're an old and dying tree

Which looks completely green

But is dark and weak from inside

Making you the best queen

For faking that happiness in you

Never died.

I am a little drop of tear
Falling from the eye of a soul in heaven
Willing to make his lover hear
That he watches her twenty four seven.

At the moment of despair
When he sighs out warm air
I make my way back to him
As if I was called upon by the grim
To finish my journey on land
And come back with memories hand in hand.

He never notices me
Since I am a ****** dew
So he never sees
That the people I trust are just few,
The people I love the most
Are limited in my heart.

I fall again
When he cries for his lover
I tap my fingers on her window
But she ignores it as she doesn't know
How much effort it takes
To help someone reunite
How much tantrums people make
When they have a fight.

His screams growl in the sky
The lightning flickers like a broken bulb
I am too shy
To tell I'm not comfortable being his messenger
When I have a message for him
But I still try,
To reach her,
Endeavoring to break her window
With the infuriated winds
To try and tell her he left
But now he only thinks
About her and no one else
Not even the one beside him, his messenger
The shy messenger, the silent one
Trying to wake up the resilient,
His lover, who has become deaf
After years of misery and listening to the heaven's cry
Without realising that it was her lover,
And an effort of the lonely messenger to make them reunite.

I am the small part of this story,
The story of three lovers,
I being the messenger
Being the soft and small part of his tear,
Reaching his lover,
Trying to make her smile,
Trying to make him smile
But as the rainy season ends,
All the tears freeze,
The cold winds start to blow,
The hard to bear heavy breeze,
I regret to make a delay
In trying to make him smile in glee
For all my petty efforts failed
To make him see that day
When like all the romantic stories
End in a cliche.

I tried to draw,
But my sketches are raw
I am imperfect in every way
I used to be good is all I say
Because then I hadn't heard of the word flaw.

My mind was never worried
My words never hurried
To say something worth it
Because my mind at that time was fit
To say, my mouth cleverly flurried.

But when time passes,
All the green grasses
Finally lose their sheen
But they still try to feign
That they are worth to be looked at carefully with glasses.

Just like that
I have changed, it's sad
I have become annoying
But I won't stop even if I'm knowing
That you don't want to talk 'cause I'm talking bad.

The urge to make
Pretty patterns with ink
On the delicate peice of paper, wanting emotions
Making a small blot at the end of my confession,
Sinking all my life's recessions
Thinking all the time I didn't do my work with precession
And left everything just to decorate a small peice of paper with agression.

All these little letters mean a lot
But they are a patch in my life
Just like the unwanted ink blots,
They won't wash away
And if they do,
The patterns would merge with the cleanliness
Moving on to the gutter's way.

My words are my life
My soul doesn't matter as much
For if I give up my soul, these rife
Words would thrive
At some corner of this huge universe
Just as small as a seed of sand,
They'll live forever
Even as little ink blots,
Someone would someday discover
There tiny dots
I am not the one who cares if
He reads it or throws it away
But mark my words as I say
My letters are alive
And in someone's heart these blots will forever stay.

I have been a lonely cloud,
Floating around at one place,
Looking down at the solitute ground,
Looking for a familiar face.

All countanances for me are strange
Leave me here and all I do is stare
All the bare ground is filled up with remorseful beings
And I am one of them floating up in the air
I am one of them but lonely and shy

I blush safron when the sun embraces me with its beams
I rain when my emotions are stored so much in me
That once in a while I have to let it all out.

I am so far away and beyond everyone's reach,
Just like the core of the earth they walk on
I am no different from it,
It's just that don't *look up at me.

I am a lonely cloud
And I want to stay away
I want to follow the winds
I want to travel and sway
I want to be a part of another world
Where there's anywhere to stay
A place where I'll have my say.

Come up, up and see the light
Breaking all the shadows at night
Let me out and hear me cry
I would never want to see this time

Just listen to me and
Mark my words
Like ashes I leave my dirt
Here and move with the flying smoke
All the weight on me gets lifted
I make my move swifted
I leave this place
And fly away.

Spreading my broken wings,
Dropping my golden ring
I lighten my heart and take a flight
Just for once hold on tight
And see me fly.

Come up, up and see the light
Breaking all thw shadows at night
Let me out and hear me cry
I would never want to see this time.

..
......
.. .......      
           ..............
............
Sober hearts
        Drunk mind
Whiskey breaths
               The soul, kind
                       Soft whispering
        The head aching
                           Life hung up on string
But the body, faking
        Light up a cigar
          And forget the world
                            Let it all smoke
              Let the smoke whirl
Let the spirits rise
                    And leave for heaven
   Forget all the lies,
Just float up to the sky
         Like a free spirit
After being exiled
Put an end to your life
            Let the emotions evoke
   Let the weight be lifted
         .........And sway.....
Like   the      thoughtless      smoke
.................
               ­          ..............
...........
Fly away
   ....
..

Once.
It happened
I felt bad about it
But then washed that memory away.

Twice.
It happened,
A silly mistake
But then the weight built up on me
Still I didn't feel or see
And walked on the same path.

Thrice.
It happened again
My eyes slightly opened
But they were in deep meditation
For the wrong choice of words
That I still didn't realise.

Then the world collapsed beside me
And my eyes were half open
They were blurred up
So much by tears
That the crooked world in front me
Appeared to be straight.

Then the end came
And the world was gulped down
By the mysterious darkness
Created on my own.
I slowly drowned
And my eyes opened
I saw it all clearly
But it was too late
I saw it clearly
But now I am a clean slate.

Why is the world a sad place?
Why is it not worth living in?
Why is it that we a forced to fantasize about a magical place?
Why is it that we are even existing?

Why?
This is a question
that does not have an answer.
And we shall forever wonder
why we must always wander.

But the questions
We don't know the answers to
Are the questions
Which matter the most
And something that matters
Sits at our backs like a host
******* away our emotions and awareness
Taking away our souls,
Strangling our throat with an invisible harness,
Dragging us like an animal,
Away from our goals.

And so we try
to make ourselves feel
something that can be controlled;
We bleed, we cry, we burn
Or maybe we don't want to feel at all
and we fill our lives with smoke
and illusions
Or maybe
we just decide to go
and end it all
And never say goodbye.

It is a sickness
Not to ask the question "Why?"
Because since childhood,
All I ever did after asking was sigh
Because no one would talk
No one would listen
No one would speak
And still my eyes would glisten,
Eager to know: Why?

Why is the world so scattered?
Like pieces of broken glass,
We're shattered
We are taught to live like this
Since the time we were born
We are taught to live like this
Till the time our hearts are worn.

I just want to know: Why?

Why?

I want to know
But since there is no answer to "Why"
I can't tell, so,
I would just sit back
And silently cry.

The dance of eyes
The soul of lies
Prancing like the winds,
The fear of the shy
The hesitation to speak
Enhancing the sound of heart.

It's not shyness
It's a game
A game of two
A game of love
A game of heartbeats
A game which is tough.

You call your opponent
A crush
Because your heart crushes
As it fears if your crush is even a part of it
But then it blushes
When you know
That he is the one and only part
Your heart shares
With his soft stares.

The dancing eyes
Look here and there
And in the crowd
Peek at each other like a thief
Stealing another glance
Just one last time
That one last time which stays forever.

We share a glance
And then look away
But this is the chance
When we talk and sway
But shyness always comes in our way.

At last
For the last time
We share our soft stares
We look into each other's eyes
We delve into each other's minds
But then again shyness comes in our way
And we move on our own pathways

Forever unknown to one another
But forever knowing about the secrets stares we shared.

The answer by my lips-


Yes, I am

Don't you think so?

Don't you see me smiling?

Don't you see my eyes crinkle?

Don't you notice my lips and heart reconciling,

Finally merely coordinating with one another?



I am laughing so much!

What a stupid question!

How can I not be happy?

Have you ever seen me cry?

I am not insinuating you

Into believing me

These tears are rolling down

Just because something went in my eye

Don't worry,

I am not going to let you drown

In this pool of tears.



I am laughing

Because I am crying

I am crying because

I am laughing.



Oh, I sound crazy right now?

It's not unusual

I am like that.

Ignore me
I am too blind
To see
What you mean
When you say,
"I don't want to see you anymore."

Ignore me
I am too deaf to hear
Your voice in the crowd
I can't even control my tears
When you shout out loud,
"I don't want to see you anymore"

Ignore me
I am too clingy
I don't know
When you don't want to see me
Because you're being polite,
So just don't talk to me.

Ignore me,
I don't deserve anything,
I don't deserve to get fake love
I don't deserve these useless white wings,
I am satan,
I don't deserve any kind of love.

My mind is like
The roots of a tree,
Entangled in a tight
Embrace,
Confused,
Searching for divine water
Deep beneath the dry ground.

My soul is like,
The clouds floating in sky,
Changing its shape
Every day,
Making people gape
If the sun shines behind me
But trying to escape
From the sight of everyone beneath.

My eyes are those,
Little stars,
Which shine the least,
And still watch the same ground beneath,
As the brightest keeps on,
Glowing,
Which are more noticed,
But are soon gone.

My heart is like a tamed lion
Trying to refrain from roaring
Trying to refrain from reacting
But the pain I am boring
Is the pain as if I have used my claws
Against my tamed heart
Which wants to be torn out
Which wants to be noticed again.

I am like a howling wolf,
Crying in my own language,
Telling everything,
Equal to telling nothing,
No one understands,
No one would,
And if you try taking my hand,
Then you should
Know the picture of me.

Why can't life be an endless night?
When the dreamy eyes,
Never lose their sight,
The stars above us would always shine, 
And the silvery moon,
Would become our new sunshine.

Why can't life be an endless night?
When the silence drapes,
Over the noises,
And the night shapes,
On our own choices.

Why can't life be an endless night?
When our thoughts ponder,
On what we are unaware of during the day,
When our thoughts live in the endless horizon,
When our thoughts loiter around,
In a mysterious way.

Why can't life be an endless night?
When we can feel the pleasant breeze,
Under the starry night sky,
We sing a lullaby,
Forever to the trees.

Why can't life be an endless night?
When we forget to sleep,
And our thoughts scatter,
Mirroring the stars,
In the moonlit night,
Reaching a place beyond infinity,
Finding a place where we always hide,
Our true soul of insobriety.

Attachment,
A magnetic force,
Snatching away our serenity,
Pulling people closer,
Making a big ball of tranquility,
Of electrically charged group
Of amiable beings.

Amiable,
A quality barely seen,
In a person,
Who doesn't feign,
To be good,
And if you are,
Then you are rare,
A ruby found,
In a millionth moon,
A sweet sound,
In a noisy room,
You are the beauty
That can't be discovered much,
But if found,
You are so delicate,
And if touched,
You won't break but bloom,
Like a touch-me-not.

Break,
Something difficult for you to do,
Except for,
Breaking through,
The chains of difficulties,
Breaking chains,
Soon to become free,
But still we'll be together,
Because we are the branches of the same old tree.

Tree,*
Of friendship,
Gets cut,
When it does, it pains,
But the pain soon shuts,
Our breaking hearts,
From aching in vain,
Because we know,
That some day,
Like an unexpected shower of snow,
We'll meet again, as we say,
We'll meet again,
When we finally grow.

The mild ticking of clock,
Counting your every second
It's calm hands stop for a while
But there is one which doesn't.

It runs the race
Of our life
It doesn't get exhausted,
It would tick even afterlife.

The sound which runs our feet
And makes beads of sweat roll down
Our tensed skin
The sound which would never stop
And if it does,
Then our time will too.

The sound is calm
But hard to bear
When the time passes by
And you're just standing here,
Thinking about something
But not about time.
You miss all the hours
And stay quite like a mime,
Not budging at all.

But the time won't stop,
It keeps on ticking,
It slowly chops
Away the hours of your living.

It's up to you
To react in time
Or you would too
Drown yourself
Like everyone who ignored time.

The sour taste of misery
Mingles in my tongue
The thoughts of my history
Which were forever unsung
And became a mystery
Have been regurgitated.

My tongue a while ago
Was ***** and span
But now I abhor
The taste that plans
To sit on the buds
Making my taste bitter.

I try to spit
But it won't go
The taste that fits
Would forever be sore.

I try to speak
But my tongue is numb
When I try to refuse
That my life is glum.

The winds won't listen
To my tongue
They just whistle
What had just rung.

The bitter taste
Is now forever ensconced
And I won't wash it off
Even if they see
The bitterness I have
That inhabits me in glee
Because that's my past
And my past is me.

An hour before midnight
On the night of 1930
Fire blazed in hearts to fight
For their Independence
And to attain their rights.

Yes, it was the night of 1930
And in the cold winds of 26th Jan
They declared to fight for our freedom
And they had a simple plan.

They promised to give Swaraj
To all of their natives
Something that was just a mirage
Until it really happened.

Yes, India got freedom
On 15th August, 1947
That was when they decided
To transform India into heaven.

They completed our Constitution
On 26th November 1949
And they had their contribution
In their hands but that date wasn't fine
To enact the book of laws.

To pay respect
To our fighters
The law was finally enacted
And was papered a bit nifty
On January 26th 1950.

(The End)

[Note: Happy Republic Day!!!]

I have a heart
But it's completely hollow
No weight gets counted
Because I have nothing to follow.

When it pumps,
I hear the air getting pushed out
With little drops of blood
Splattered out of my mouth
I can't control it,
It's just my heart which is perforated
Into a perfect circle
Which I always hated.

I want it to get filled
And it would some day
When my world gets built
Around someone who says,
"I would love you the way
You've always been,
And a perfect heart
Will be perfectly filled
If you take my hand
And let me build
A world for you
Where we can stay
And live forever
Celebrating each day."

It was a gloomy day
When my past was recalled
By my forgetful mind
It was like a riddle solved
As I thought for days
If what was happening was deja vu
Or if it was true in some way
That something happened with me.

I tightly closed my eyes
And pictures started to appear
All the lies
I always hear
Were justified
By the truth told by my mind.

I got lost in my world of happiness:
Past was all it mattered for me
Uncovering all the shelves,
Ensconced in oblivion
Blowing away the layers of dust,
Pulling out the obsidian
Made by vague memories
Of childhood, love and happiness
My heart skipped a beat
As if it was love I found
As love is an euphoric sickness.

All the memories flashed
In front of my forgetful mind
The day I walked between the crowd
With a balloon in my hand,
The day I cried out loud,
And decided not to sit but stand
Without moving, to fulfill my demand
Or else roll down and cry
For a pretty doll I held in hand.

I jumped around nonchalantly,
Without thinking about future
I long to live in the now
Because somehow
Our thoughts are limited
To think more about life
And not about now.

I opened the windows
To let the past's golden ray
Come in and stay
To remind me what I forgot.

I forgot my childhood
But it's not too late
I should
Open my eyes
And look at the beauty of life
Through my younger soul's vision
Because it's time I should know
That beauty is in the eyes of a child
And that being oblivious to gloomy facts
Makes life more magical and less wild.

I run fast to jump
Off the high and lofty cliff
To wake up from sleep.

The mild ticking of clock,
Counting your every second
It's calm hands stop for a while
But there is one which doesn't.

It runs the race
Of our life
It doesn't get exhausted,
It would tick even afterlife.

The sound which runs our feet
And makes beads of sweat roll down
Our tensed skin
The sound which would never stop
And if it does,
Then our time will too.

The sound is calm
But hard to bear
When the time passes by
And you're just standing here,
Thinking about something
But not about time.
You miss all the hours
And stay quite like a mime,
Not budging at all.

But the time won't stop,
It keeps on ticking,
It slowly chops
Away the hours of your living.

It's up to you
To react in time
Or you would too
Drown yourself
Like everyone who ignored time





Soft whispers,
Wet soul,
The silver threads
Making a complete whole,
In this awkward silence,
Like a puzzle piece found

The life I've lived
Has been a blissful sin
The blessings of God
Have always been an evil grin.
I don't know what he wants
I don't know if he's even there
I don't know if I believe
As the non-believers are rare.

I belong to the dummy group,
A group following one path
But someday I will break through
The waters of this gloomy bath
Which is told to free us
From the sins we've committed
And get us out of this fuss
But my thoughts about it are limited.

I don't know what I believe in
But I know I believe in myself
And trust my own decisions
That would lead me itself
To another track of life
Different from the one
I don't belong to.

If you find me laughing
Then know I'm sad
My laughter is an illusion
As I've always hidden the sadness I've had
Inside my heart.

If you find me smiling,
Then know I'm depressed
That I just want you to see me happy
That I just want you know
That my life is not that gloomy.

If you see me cry,
Then know that I want to
Express my emotions to you
How I feel every time
And then burst it all out for once in a while.

If you even understand me
Then talk to me like you did
The first day we met
When you hid
Your true self so that you don't get
People running away from you.

If you see my eyes crinkle
Then know that I'm really happy
Like I was a few weeks back
When you didn't show your true self
When you didn't lack
The potential to be a true friend.

All I want to say is
If you meet me again,
It would be a bliss
That you know me better.

A gamut of of tears
Surrounds our life
It hovers around us
All the time.

The tears of joy
Jump out
When we laugh
For a good reason
When our lips
Refused to take time off
And make a grip
On the opposite corner of your face,
Because someone has made you laugh
And has forever traced
The happiness in your heart.

The tears of pain
When you get hurt
And you tried a lot in vain
To be careful not to get bruises
But it hurts you so much
That your world fuses
Like a worn out bulb.

The tears of sadness
Blurring your vision
Taking you to a wrong path
And your mind has envisioned
That your life does not exist anymore
That you are not important
And you abhor
That you're still living.

Tears of death,
A complete mixture
Of sadness and joy
When your thoughts admixture
All your moments you enjoyed
With all the other moments
That a life could have.

I don't have

a heartless soul,

a fearless mind,

But there's something

Which will always be mine.


Locked up in a dark place

Deep inside

The labyrinth of my mind

There lies my secret

And you have forever been blind

Not to see what I hide.


I blind you more

With my secret illusions

But my heart gets sore

Because it's my delusion

That I will be content

By hiding everything.


The letters of secrets

Fly out of the box

Hovering over my head

Hovering around me

Burying me deep into the ground.


I took hold of my secrets

But now it takes hold of me

And climbs on my back

To stay forever with me.



Your eyes delve into mine,

Finding answers ,

My secret is my history

Implanted in my heart

I'm sorry I can't tell you

Something which is beloved to me.



But sometimes

Wounds are opened again

And it starts to bleed out

The poisonous blood that didn't drain

Out of your soul,

Trapped inside,

Gulping all your tranquility.



I have to be rigid,

But it's hard

I have to be strong,

But I'm not

I have to keep a secret,

But I'm not God.



There's no point in hiding now

I give all my secrets

And you give all your love

Or else I would be buried beneath

Under all the secrets

That I've always kept with me.



But it's time now

To give up all I had,

To give up my history

And to solve the mystery

Which entangled your mind



Now the answers are with you

The answer is my secret

Which I just told you.

I am bound by heavy chains,
Chains of broken swings
The dark room I am in,
Broke my healthy wings.
It has clasped me
In its fierce claws
And now I can't see
Even if there are anymore laws.

The heaviness,
Oh, it's hard to bear
I try choking my breath
But I promised
I will take care,
I won't wreak the life I'll miss
Even if someone already did.

I fall on my knees,
Giving up after
All the pain I felt
And had to bear
While struggling in vain
For something,
But no one cares.

Just then,
A speck of light
Creeps through a crack
The dusty ray,
Falls on my feet, now slack
Calling me by my name
Trying to lift me up,
From this gloomy game.

Taking the warm hand,
I get up with high hopes
But then I realise
I am bound by ropes
Of the tight and heavy chains.

The warmth tells me
Not to stop,
"But I can't move," I say.
"Don't lose hope,
Please come this way."

Clasping his hand,
I move forward
Wishing I could elope
With him from this place
And I won't give up,
If I'm still in this race
I would walk faster,
Increasing my pace.

Suddenly, the chains crack,
Its cracking lullaby
Echoes in this hollow rack.

My feet lift,
Taking a bigger step,
And they rift
The ground that kept
My strength away from me
It's my turn now
To make marks on it
And I somehow
Stab my feet in it
Making it feel the pain I felt
When I was known to be a misfit.

The warmth of his hands,
Supporting when I fall
The warmth of his hand
Bringing me up
When I crawl.

Another step I take,
Not my biggest mistake
Because then,
The chains finally break.

I look up at the sky,
At the dancing auroras
Waving me goodbye,
Singing their fake silent lullaby.

Another step forward,
And my heart will prance
Under the lovely light,
My feet will dance,
Embracing me in
A whole new trance,

*Embracing me in
A whole new trance.