I don’t think you realize just how much you mean to me, and my biggest fear is that you never will.

I have girlfriends who’ve never spoken to me,
Comrades who’ve never fought with me,
Acquaintances who’ve never seen me,
And friends who’ve never chastised me.

This constant, never, fills me with pain,
So let it be crushed to dust by the weight of April rain.

Ever wonder what it would be like,
If the world suddenly ceased to exist?
Like a flash of light, a snap of a finger,
Gone in an instant.

Everything we’ve ever done, seen, and thought,
All in vain, like it never even occurred.

For what purpose is life, if all of humanity becomes equal in that instant?
Perhaps it is true that the only guaranteed equality in life is that of death.

She wants to feel again
What I have never felt.

She wants to see again
What I had thought unreal.

I want to fade to black
But don’t want her to cry.

We are a couple birds
Slowly falling from the sky.

I don’t know you like you know yourself
All I know is what you write, because we never really talk, and that’s my problem

It makes me sad to hear that you’ve experienced death in your life
Death is a ***** ***** **** waffle ****
And there’s my **** nonsense of humor

I don’t think you’re crazy like you say
I’ve heard rumors
**** em

I was a fool for thinking anyone could be perfect
I’m sorry for putting you on that pedestal
I realize now that you are, in fact, human and have weaknesses and flaws as such

God, this sounds ridiculous

I want to delete every word of this, and sew the mask of a quiet loner back on my face, and that is exactly why I am posting this. To work to overcome my own biggest fear. Rejection.

I get angry with myself
When I don’t talk to you
When you’re right there
But all I do is stare

Please don’t post spur-of-the-moment poetry on the internet where thousands of people could potentially view it...

You’re so welcome,
You

Sorry fo the drama



It’s my way of saying you’re special

I wish upon eternity
For how things used to be
I wish upon eternity
For life as younger me
I wish upon eternity
For a trip back to when happines was reality

Hey,
I don’t know about you
But I may be 22
Before I feel like reading this again
And remembering how things once were

Depression, Jealousy, Nostalgia, Inferiority, Rejection, Hopelessness, Friends, Hurt, Sleepless Nights, Anxiety, Shame, and Wanting to Crawl Into a Box to Escape the Pain of Living.

Oh, and Love too, I guess.

seven years passed like the phases of the moon,
since her parents had their last fight,
their marriage stained maroon.
ever since, she stayed with Daddy,
always on the run.
she learned to live a life of crime,
and to never trust anyone.
now she’s all but sixteen,
but her hands are stained in blood.
she shot the sheriff where he stood,
his crimson tears a flood.

Can you prove my existence?
Can you do it for sure?
A photo, a memory, a poem, a score?

What proof have you that you exist?
If you ponder that inquiry,
You’ll find something is missed.

We see what we think we see,
But what is the reality?

We know what we think we know,
But what is real, and what’s for show?

I can’t tell if I’m waiting for you to reach out,
Or if I’m scaring you away.
Either way, I’ll be there.

Long ago where the White Oak grew,
Far beyond where the west wind blew,
In fresh spring air and ****** skies,
A young boy severed his emotional ties,
Ones that brought him only pain,
So he thought he would not stand to gain,
But so very little did I know back then,
My foundation never laid; it’s time to begin.

Wandering eyes shifting
Gorgeous smiles lying
Friendly spirits lifting
Quiet voices dying

I walked past him again
My quiet overcoming me
I walked past him yet gain
My quiet destroying us

Her beauty haunts me.
She crept into my soul uninvited,
Took my sanity,
Left my vanity.
But I have no name,
That’s the biggest shame.
I don’t know who to be,
But then again,
Neither does she.

hate me.
loathe me.
despise me.
turn away.
run away.
go away.
come back.
i need you now.
i can’t live without you.
you mean everything to me.
you are nothing to me.
i am nothing to you.
i am nothing at all.
i do not exist.
i am you.

Incessant worries
About someone I know
Never knowing how they feel

Bout time I told you
Indeed most of these are about you anyways
Never should have been so quiet
If all I wanted was to be your friend
One day I’ll learn
No one is ever really alone

I was so busy living another man’s life
To realize my own was falling apart
So I handed my independence the knife
And purged the insecurity from my heart

It seems her story’s painted black
But in me she gave her trust
Thank you Indie, India
Our friendship was a must
I hope you find the joy in life
The joy you deserve for all your strife
Remember to never, ever lose hope
Because hope remains our light


Never lose your light, Indie
You will find your way
I’m glad I could be a part of it
Love ya

The person who I respect the most is the same person I pretend doesn’t exist when I see him walking towards me.

It’s not your fault
I have a million and one excuses why I don’t stop and bore you to tears
But not one of them could ever fix the fact that I never think of how you must feel when I do it
My insecurity turns talking to you into one of my biggest fears

Even though I say this now
I have a funny feeling I’ll do it again
And maybe you don’t even care
Or maybe you feel the same
All I know is that I don’t know

I feel like I’ve been a ******* sociopath my entire life and I’m just now realizing what emotions are
When I look back, I’ve always been selfish
My therapist said I had good reasons for that, but I never could except it
I used to be a wild child and even got thrown out of my fist daycare
Now I’m afraid people might reject me

When I look at you, I see pure confidence without ego
Yeah, maybe I’m a little jealous of you
But I’ll get there too
I think that’s why I’ve always been afraid to talk to you
I’ve felt inferior, and that’s not your fault

I tried to take some time to grow
But they say absence makes the heart grow fonder
And it did
And I started appreciating the time we had

Back then I felt like no one cared
Never realizing that I never cared for anyone else in return
It all makes sense now, but hindsight is 20/20

To me, passing by you is like passing by a celebrity
I don’t know what to do or say and I come up with 50 million reasons I should keep walking
This is so ******* stupid it’s its own level of *******, but I do it anyways.

If you managed to make it to the end of this, thank you so much. It means the world to me.