I once heard a story
Of a boy who loved a girl.
I heard she let him love her
Until her mind grew bored.

Then she packed his measly bags
And kicked him to the curb.
She crushed his bleeding heart
On his way out the door.

He never even had the chance
To scrape the pieces off her porch.
Now there is a jagged cavern
Burned into his broken chest.
Filled with *****,self-hate, and ***

He never even had a chance.

-ARI

Dear brother
It's been a while
Since I've had the
Chance to make you smile.

And I miss
The way it used to be
When we'd go
Driving; just you and me.

Blasting hours of music
Just 'cause we could
Screaming Taylor Swifts
"Our we out of the woods!"

Dear brother
It's been many months
Since the day that
You left us.

The promise you made;
Do you remember?
Saying you would
Often send a letter.

And our sweet mother
Bless her heart,
Still checks the mail;
It always tears her apart.

Dear brother,
It's me again.
I never guessed this
Is how your life would end.

The red, white, and blue,
Folded perfectly in
Mothers arms, for her son
Who's fight was true.

And the 3-volley salute
For the twenty-two
Too young in boots.
Twenty-two gone too soon.

Oh The 3-volley salute

-ARI

..to sad songs because,
      I don't want to feel
                           alone..

-ARI

When the time comes
For my eyes to 'ever close
And for my Heavenly
Father to call me home;

I hope my lips hold onto
A faint forever smile
Of which often spread
Heartfelt "I love you"'s

I hope my hair will be
A flowing stream of silver
With flowers placed
Sweetly around my head.

I hope my wrinkles
Are like an intricate map
Of the vibrant life
I've tried my best to live.

I hope my heart is
Filled with everlasting
Memories of which
My loved ones gave me.

I hope my name
Brings joy to those
Who speak it when
Their hearts are missing me.

For that is how
My grandmother
Left us; with pure love
Wrapped around our souls.

-ARI

Sometimes I hear you
Laughing loudly in my head
I can't make you stop.

It's been five long years
Since the last time your harsh hands
Claimed what wasn't yours.

I can still taste you
Like acid searing my tongue
I can't make you leave.

It's been five long years
Since your dark wandering eyes
Stalked my every limb.

I can still feel them
Roaming maliciously all
Over my bruised soul.

-ARI

Dear future generations,


         I
               am
                         so
                                 sorry...


You will never know
The sweet freedom from technology
As you spend hours stargazing
During sweet summer nights.

You will know
Far more fear than I could imagine
From the hate, anger, and deceit
Todays generations have created.

You will never know
The feeling of pride as your parents
Watch you succeed at something so small
With no phone pressed in their hand.

You will know
Bone breaking anxiety; depression
From the relentless stress to be perfect
According to societies twisted image.

You will never know
The joy of spending countless hours of
Exploring the outside world with only the
Clothes on your back and a friend beside you.

You will know
A world of color, laughter, and friends,
All within a screen, but turn off you device;
Your world is empty; your life is in pixels.

-ARI

Arms and womb
Are empty
No child
By my side.
But in my
Broken heart
My perfect child
Resides.

-ARI

If yesterday
Was but sand upon
A long abandoned shore
I'd wash away jagged
Memories of which it
Created.

-ARI

Because I am a man
Preferring men over women
I am often cursed and shunned
By the society we are lost in.

Because I am a young adult
Mere 20 years beneath my belt
The older generations claim
My fresh ideas could never help.

Because I am a woman
With no children in my arm
Others pull their kids from me
As though I'd bring them harm.

Because I am a Muslim
With a hijab on my head
Millions often blame me
For tears their brothers shed.

-ARI

She is
The late night
Drunken stupor
Resulting from a too
Expensive liquor night.

She is
The silent
Dinner hastily set
For one, with enough
Wine to knock out three.

She is
The shattered
Windshield creating
Mosaic pieces splayed
Across asphalt; irreparable.  

She is
The yesterday of
My revived soul and
Mind; never forgotten, yet
Finally forgiven for my scars.

-ARI

I wish,
I could keep you
Free from endless fear.

I wish,
I could save you
From the never ending tears.

I wish,
I could tell you
All the stories of my years.

To insure you,
You aren't
Alone.

-ARI

I never could save her.
I tried. I swear I tried
But she was just too far gone.
I couldn’t find her
Inside the too twisted depths
Of her lifeless eyes.

They use to be a vibrant green
With passionate oranges rings
Dancing around her pupils.
Now you'd never guess
There was ever anything vibrant
Held within that girl.

-ARI

I
Don't have
Time for this.
I can not have
A meltdown. I am an adult, **** it!

-ARI

I see you
Walking by that ledge
Just a little too slowly.

I see your eyes
Calculate the distance
To the ground.

I see your head
Bowing in defeat
As your mind begs to fall.

I see your back
Shattering as asphalt
Sews itself into your chest.

I see guilt
Waltzing across
Your exhausted smile.

I see you
Caged inside depression
You cannot seem to escape.

I see you.
Now you just need
To see that I am here.

-ARI

"What's wrong with you?"*

That **** question
Destroys me every
Time someone asks
For I have these words
Waltzing in my head
But they cant seem
To get the steps just right.
They keep tripping
Over twisted imagery
Crawling across
Wilted floor boards.
Splinters sewing
Themselves into
Anything they touch
Keeping every hope
Of an explanation
Tangled together
As nonsense.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

-ARI

I have often wandered
Through the forests in his mind.
'Ever changing landscape
I've been lost in too many times.

I have calmed countless storms
Even as they've damaged me.
'Ever striking lightening causing
The roots of his soul to bleed.

I alone have discovered
Caverns hidden in his head.
Dark and  jagged memories
He never meant to be said.

I have climbed mountain
Peaks piercing the crystal sky.
Such vibrant rays of smiling sun;
You'd never guess he wished to die.

-ARI

You gave me a bandage
A horrific bright pink,
For you noticed a stripe
Of red bleeding through
My long sleeved shirt.

I laughed it off and rolled my eyes
"My demon cat struck again"
And you laughed with me,
But you wont ever know
I never had a cat.

-ARI

I knew
Long before
He ever said a word
For my
Name no
Longer danced from his lips.

His hands
Too cold
For someone who loved him
As he
Gently touched
Fingers now clenching cheap whiskey.

I knew
Long before
He ever accepted the truth
For my
Kiss never
Made him smile like that.

-ARI

Men **** men
Then kiss the
Rosaries around
Their necks.

ARI

Seven years ago today
I was sitting in the dark
With my eyes squeezed shut
And my arms wrapped
Too tightly around my legs.

I rocked myself slowly
Hoping to calm the flames
Devouring my heart
And spreading too rapidly
Across my entire being.

My phone was left abandoned
On the kitchen table far from me
For I feared the next call
Would carry the news
That your heart no longer beats.

Seven years ago today
I was told your brain was dead;
Your body close to follow
And I cried for the next five days
Then you were gone.

I didn't cry for six years
For you took a piece of me
To your grave the day you died.
You died. I thought I died too.
But he brought me back to life.

I still miss you, my friend
I do believe I will miss you
For all the years I have left
Im sorry it took me so long
To listen to you, but I finally

Learned I am still alive.

-ARI

I was awakened by
Her wailing cries dripping
From the ceiling fan.

Gnarled fingernails unearthing
Every defect shadowed by
Cheaply colored cloth.

Her desolate eyes of malice
Bitterly waltzing across
My 'ever bone-weary limbs.

Maniacal grin gleefully thriving
On the heinous mutilation
Of my once unblemished soul.

Her exuberant howls mangling
My already asphyxiated mind
As my heart yearned for extrication.

Deafening silence devoured
The withdrawn girl until her lips
Forever cradled Anorexia's kiss.

-ARI

I tried
With all my heart
To weave together
A poem worthy of
The life of which
You have happily lived.

But I failed
For I do believe
There is not one
Living poet today capable
Of immortalizing such vibrancy
Within permanent black ink.

-ARI

Beauty should
Never be measured
By skin
Hair, make-up, money
Nor fame.

For we
Are meant to be more
Than simple
Mannequins designed by
Paid keepers.

Beauty is
Enchanting dreams that
Dance upon
The surface of your
Living soul.

The glimmer
In wide eyes watching
Boats sway
To silent melodies beneath
The sky.

Beauty was
Never meant to be used
Against ambitious
Children trapped inside our
Broken hearts.

We were
Meant to love the bodies
We have
Been given; like a small child
Holding flowers.

-ARI

Eyes
       Fluttering
                      Mind
                              Sputtering
                                               Lips
                                                     Muttering

Hands
          Shaking
                      Bones
                               Aching
                                          Heart
                                                   Breaking

Pain
      Showing
                    Tears
                            Flowing
                                        Sorrow                                                  
                                                  Growing

Nails
        Gripping
                      Skin
                            Ripping
                                        Red
                                             Dripping

Girl
      Falling
                Mother
                           Calling
                                      Life
                                           Stalling

Head
       Pounding
                      Silence
                                 Sounding
                                                Death
                                                         Grounding.



-ARI

You married the woman
Who's every bone is riddled
With ever pulsing anxiety.

The woman who insists on asking
The same question a hundred times
"Do I look alright?"
"Are you sure I look alright?"

You married the woman
Who's tolerance for heavy crowds
Is completely non-existent.

The woman who's most comfortable
While lost inside the fetal position
Or hidden beneath dark blankets
While rocking in your loving arms.

But,

You married the woman
Who sews mundane words into
Intricate stanzas; bringing life to paper.

The woman who's scrapped her
Shredded soul and tormented mind
From the pavement of hell a hundred times,
Yet still she believes in God.

You married the woman
Who often has nothing for herself
For she gives her all to help the world.

The woman who will stand tall
As a beacon of hope for those who
Have been devoured by creeping anxiety
Even when she wants to disappear.

You did not marry anxiety.
You married an incredible woman.
Thank you for teaching me that.

-ARI

Seven years ago today
I was rolling my eyes
As you teased your sister and me.

Seven years ago today
My best friend and I
Stormed out in anger because of you.

Seven years ago today
We were counting down
The weeks until you moved away.

Seven years ago today
I heard you laughing
Triumphantly over winning the remote.

Seven years ago tomorrow
I cried with my friend
Begging for you to open your bruised eyes.

In two weeks it will be seven years,
Since I watched them bury you.
I'm still waiting for you to come home.

-ARI

I'm sorry I couldn't save you
I swear to you I tried.
I had no clue you were so broken
I wish you hadn't lied.
I knew one day you'd leave me
For the depression you couldn't hide.
You told me you had a solution
I just never thought it suicide.

-ARI