You've taken a step into dangerous territory
Unbeknownst to your wide, naïve eyes
You're heading into a deep abyss
Where only the lucky have survived
Before you proceed any further
I will give you this warning now
I'm utterly and dangerously fragile
And my patience is running out
My warning signs are on full display
For those who dare on this journey
Caution is written everywhere
So that I know you won't take this lightly
I see the longing looks you're giving
And I can tell you see me as a challenge
Your cockiness will lead to your missteps
A guarantee I experience irrevocable damage
You think you will treat me different
But I know you'll ignore the signs I carry
There's no easy way to let my guard down
When your intentions with me make me wary
You continue to walk into dangerous territory
Unbeknownst to your wide, naïve eyes
Foolishly, you jumped into the deep abyss
But you were not lucky enough to survive

I cried out to the sky,
shouting in every octave
and every note,
desperately waiting for her answer

She was still

I could feel the anger rising
the fire in my belly roared
it could not be contained as
I was begging to be heard

I was ignored

I cried out to the sky again,
screaming an endless breath  
as I felt myself leave my body,
falling on my feeble knees

The silence was deafening

My ears piqued as I heard the rumbling in the distance,
the ominous, grey clouds covered her like a blanket
She was preparing her grand entrance,
and I was the opening act

I waited for her to pour out to me,
to drown out the hurt I had swallowed
to water the dying parts I neglected
to cleanse me of the sins I harbored

I cried out to the sky one more time,
ripping her apart
with my arms stretched out wide,
waiting for her to fall into me

Her answer come slowly,
one by one, I could feel
the raindrops kissing my face
the cleansing was upon me

One turned into many
and many turned into a storm
I no longer needed
to make my presence known  

The rain became her hands,
wrapping herself around my body
My will to fight her was gone
She finally gave me what I needed

I cherish my dreams
more than I cherish life
My dreams are bursting with color,
the endless sight of a rainbow
Idyllic and innocent
But waking up becomes
a nightmare to return to
a life that is colored with
nothing but greys
that I did not ask for
How I wish for my dreams
to bleed into real life
and transform my perception
of reality

I was born a walking contradiction
Destined to be misunderstood by others
I am quiet in places where I should be loud
Shaking the ground so it caves and swallows in
But I am also loud in places I should be quiet
Breaking the walls before listening to their stories
I blend myself to fit into places where I don't belong
And I belong in places where I cannot blend
I'm the puzzle piece you can't quite figure out
But you hope to come back to someday
I am difficult to figure out, a perplexing individual
I am an enigma, a mystery you can never solve

Fear has taken my left hand
And Faith has taken my right hand,
Pulling me in opposite directions
Like children playing tug-of-war
I’m swaying between the road that diverges
Into a life of comfort or a life of greatness
And I cannot decide who deserves my heart
Does Faith deserve it because it embraces uncertainty,
A tortured game with unpredictable results?
Or does Fear deserve it more because it promises certainty,
An enemy of progress that loathes new adventures?
Faith has taken my left hand and Fear has taken my right hand
I cannot make a choice; they are pulling me apart
Where do I go from here, I’m running out of time

My mother carried me in her arms
When I was just shy of being three
In the palm of her hands, I saw dainty charms
She said it was a gift to the big, blue sea

With me on her hips, she tip-toed out the door
In the early morning hours to be discreet
When we arrived, she quickly walked to the shore
So the crashing waves could tickle her feet

She carefully placed me down on the sand
As she walked deeper into the water
She opened up the palms of her hand
And couldn’t help but think of her precious daughter
  
She took a deep breath and inhaled the fresh air
Like she had forgotten what it was like to breathe  
The cheeky wind tousled with her midnight hair
Smiling wide-eyed, bearing all her teeth

She dropped the trinkets in the ocean
And watched them fall like leaves
I saw her overcome with such emotion
This was the face of sweet relief

Her eyes glowed brighter than before
But there was still a hint of her meekness  
She was unafraid of her new freedom to soar
For the ocean promised to guard her secrets

When I told you that I was famished
I didn’t imply that you should keep
Spoon-feeding me the same, old lies
As if I wouldn’t spit them out again  
My stomach wails and moans because
I refuse to swallow your inedible lies
That plagued my mouth with a rancid taste
When all it wants is something to eat  
When I told you that I was famished
I realized that my words had fallen on deaf ears
And you would never understand the gravity of my needs
I asked you for the truth and you failed to deliver
So now I have chosen to look for something better
This body is need of food and will not survive if I
Continue to live empty with someone who thought I was full

I am the product of two distant worlds
But my tongue dances with only one
In my dreams, I hear my Mother’s cries
Praying for her lost daughter’s return
I am too much for one country to swallow
But not enough for the other’s acceptance
Yet here I stand, with my heart in the middle
Of a custody battle with unclear intentions
I cannot choose between the two
Without erasing half of my story
I cannot undo all this writing
Stained on my blood and bones
This heart, of plantains and sweet tea,
Fights a war inside her own body
I’m unsure of where to call home
When I’m not wanted by either country

The night cupped sadness into its hands
swaddling it like a newborn babe
gently promising to never let go
But the night quickly fell to its ending
while the morning rose for its beginning
and the sun smiled gleefully in return
Sadness cried for night to come back  
for sunshine was not a language it knew
so it retreated to its hole and waited
because only the night understood its tune

Here in her lonely
At a quarter past three
When the sun still sleeps,
Sadness reigns her in
Enveloping this child
Devoid of self-worth  
She’s oddly comforted
In Sadness’s presence,
Safe in arms that she was
Unaware could hold her
At this dark, ungodly hour,
Sadness became her mother,
Rubbing love into her back  
While tucking a strand
Of her hair behind her ear
As it whispered sweet dreams
Sadness wraps around her back,
Pushing for a confession
That she was too afraid to give
So here in her lonely
At a quarter past three
When the sun still sleeps
She releases those stifled tears
That became oceans over time
Drowning in her insecurities
Sadness was her only lifeline

Maybe words won't always fix everything
Maybe saying "Everything will be fine"
won't always be enough
Maybe what we all need is
a warm body to share this space with
a friend to listen to our cries
a lover to hold our hands
a person to make our world
feel safe, just for moment,
while sitting in beautiful silence
when everything around us
seems to be crumbling down

I could write a maze
Of metaphors for you
Just to let you know
How amazing you are
I could tell you that
Your smile is the sun,
Sunshine painted on your face
Or tell you that your
Kindness is a language
I wish to speak fluently
Your eyes are an ocean
I could swim in for miles
And you are a rose
That blooms with each season
Your lips are the antidote
For every frog I've kissed
And your voice is a melody
That knows the song of my heart
But I dare not say these to you
For my heart is scared
I'll keep them to myself
These feelings I would
Rather not share

Let me be your motivation
As we jump into this sea of persuasion
Swim together freely in a deeper exploration
Let this be our secret, a spontaneous vacation
I feel sparks when you touch me, what's this weird sensation?
“Falling in love” seems appropriate, can we celebrate this occasion?
Let’s get carried away and fly with our imaginations
Hoping that they will lead us to secret destinations
Baby, can these moments alone be our salvation?
As we become enthralled with each other’s inclinations?
Kiss me quick, make it last, my lips are ravished with anticipation
Take my hand and follow me so we can have endless conversations

The blank paper stares at me
It knows I have no thoughts
But how can I keep it from winning
when I have nothing to share?
The paper mocks me from all four corners
Challenging my thoughts and intelligence

For I have nothing to write

Searching high and low
I'm seeking for inspiration
Words fading, people leaving
memories disappearing into the dark void
My tongue incapable of letting
the emotions fall from my mouth
They run to avoid my grasp
My hand reaches out to them
But they flee once again

The ink is wasted. Pen is silenced. Going unused.

The blank paper stares at me
For I couldn't birth my truth
Mocking and laughing
The paper won.

*Inspired by Jessica DeBoo's "Unclaimed Territory"

I’m slowly accepting that
No matter what I do
No matter how many times
I have bled on this cold, unforgiving floor
No matter how many times I have cried
Oceans in the dead of the night
You can never pull the wool out of your emerald eyes
To see I’m slowly killing myself
For you
For your approval
For your acceptance
For your love
You tell me you’re proud of me,
But I have never heard a lie so sweet
You tell me to chase my dreams
But bind my feet before I can even move
You tell me to love you with all my heart
But you mangled it in this ****** war
I rise up in spite of the pain
Only to feel your burning hands
Hurl me across the room
My bones shatter like glass
Every time my body hits the floor
This cold, unforgiving floor that has held me down
For too long with your crushing weight pressed against my back
I struggle to break free, flailing my limbs in every direction
But one look into those perfect, emerald eyes hold me in your trance
Gazing into your deep abyss
Your eyes pierce me like a knife
Carving me out slowly and then all at once
How long can my heart swim in anger
Before it drowns in it too? I ask myself
She swims to get away, but somehow still yearns for you
Your lips kiss me all over with a frigid touch, sending chills down my spine
You smell my fear as you wrap your arms around me tightly
I desperately try to claw my way out of your grasp
You think you know how to love
But your hollow heart weighs deep in your chest
My heart drowned in anger
I slowly died because of you.

I could have been your worst nightmare
Creeping in your head while you graciously sleep
Waiting to turn your pleasant reveries
Into blood-chilling screams
You left your wretched marks on my body
Like I wouldn't retrace your steps
You carelessly left with your selfish heart
And vengeance crawled its way into mine
I planned the very moment I would see you again
And unleash the beast I held inside
But I've looked enough times in the mirror
To know that hurting you kills me  
So this vengeance is no longer mine to bear
I'm turning the other cheek
I'm burying the cross I used to bear for you
Because now you are dead to me

You and me
We can’t keep our hands off each other
Our bodies intertwined, dancing as one
As we stumble on to the bed together
You kiss me on my neck, and I smell your cheap cologne
Notes of sandalwood and cedar brush my face
As your lips travel, making love to every part of my body
Your lips are cold to the touch, sending chills down my spine
And I’m wondering what kind of magic this is
Our clothes flew off and now we can finally see
What we were both hiding underneath
Our lips greeted each other like long lost lovers
As you crawled your way inside me
And all I could think is that you were not mine
You were not the person I woke up to this morning
With his morning breath lingering in my mouth  
You were not the person I made coffee for this morning
Because he only loves the way I make it  
You were not the person I said goodbye to this morning
Because I loved him too much not to
You were an impulse, an itch I needed to scratch
That I realize is no longer there
Lust consumed me because I thought
My love was never enough and that
You were the only thing that could satiate me
I’m lying in this bed full of regrets
And I question how I got here
I know he will never love me the same
Because now my lips belong to more than one

I've always wanted to harvest the Moon
While it sleeps during the day
So that nighttime would be where I am
And it would orbit around my Earth
I would never miss its alluring glow
or the tranquility that brings me to sleep
But then my mind shifts to the Sun
And how worried she must be
Her soulmate is nowhere to be found
The sky as empty as a mourning heart  
I deprived of her this glorious being
To satisfy my own selfish needs
I wanted the Moon, but the Sun needed her
I could never be okay with keeping
Something that was never mine

A man will try to make you feel
Like the *** between your thighs
Is the only thing you have to offer
And the only thing you should be ashamed of
But why should I be ashamed
Of what makes me a woman?
Yes, I bleed once a month
But it doesn't compare to the    
Flowers that have grown between my legs
Because I have given life
And life lives within me
Men insult this place
As if this was not their
Gateway to their first breath
They fail to realize that they
Are half-woman too

How can we close this gap between you and me?
When you don’t remember how my hands fit in yours
And I don’t remember the taste of your lips on mine?
Let’s meet in spaces where our love can roam free
Let’s meet where time is not our enemy
Let’s meet where the ocean and sky kiss briefly
Let’s meet where the sun and moon hold hands
Let’s meet where the stars collide in the nighttime
Let’s meet in spaces where our love can never end

What a travesty it is
To have luscious honey
Dripping from your lips
Only to never know
How sweet it tastes

My lips have always craved the taste of danger.
Maybe it is because I don't know what's good for me
or I'm in love with the high I get from it
The high that takes me to the heavens,
surpassing the pillow-like clouds
resting against the azure canvas
I remember the taste so vividly,
I salivate at the thought of it
It's sweet like candy,
the sugary goodness
rushing inside my veins
delicately coating my tongue
bites between my teeth
explode into a thousand little pieces,
dancing inside my mouth
Your succulent lips pressed against mine,
remind me of the taste of summer strawberries,
juicy and tender with citrusy undertones
we're kissing like there's no tomorrow
Oh how I feel your lips part from mine, then touch
and part again the way the clouds greet the sky
Before a rainy afternoon
How can something so bad taste this good?
Oh I'm convinced your kisses are a drug
Nice to play with, but toxic to the mind
Kissing you must be equivalent to intoxication
shockwaves through my body,
the paralyzing euphoria
I don't think I could ever give you up
This addiction is taking control

I see you but you don’t see me
I see you when you walk into your favorite café
Your head hung low and your nose in a book
What are you reading? Is it a love story? A thriller?
I desperately want to know..
To know you
I see you but you don’t see me
I see you as you use your wavy strawberry locks
To cover your rosy  face hoping no one
Will take a second look at you
But I do because I know you
But you don’t know me
I see you nibbling on your fingernails,
Preparing yourself to order the same coffee
You always drink because you’re too scared to try anything else  
Let me help you, I want to help you
Let me say the words that always grab your tongue
And seize it before you can speak
But you finally muster the words in a taut manner
Take your mocha latte to go and exit the cafe swiftly
And I see an opportunity fall out of my hands
Until the next time you come in again
You’re intriguing, a world to explore  
I saw you but you didn’t see me
What will it take to get your attention?