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Oct 4 · 108
Hurting yet Smiling
Nina Oct 4
I knew that I'll lose you someday
And that day
Has already past
It's been 2 weeks
Since i last saw you
And it hurts to know
That we are back to being strangers
And yet
I still keep your photos on my phone
And still smile at them
Knowing how happy i was
During that day
When i was with you
I was so happy
But all i can afford to do now
Is to smile
At those memories
Even though
Its hurting me deeply inside
Sep 29 · 184
A poison I'd Take
Nina Sep 29
I knew
That i would fall for him
When i first saw him
And at that moment
I knew
I would get hurt
But i didn't mind the pain
I didn't  mind
Killing myself
For him
He was like a poison to me
Something so dangerous
Yet I'd risk my life for
Nina Sep 27
I've already fallen for you
I swore I wouldn't
But i just couldn't stop falling
I know
You've warned me from the start
You're not interested in commitment
And i understood that
You're not ready
Not now
But I've already fallen for you
So that's okay
Use me
If it makes you happy
By all means
Make use of me
It makes no difference
I've already fallen for you
And that already hurts
So use me as your one night stand
It's the same
As one sided love
Either way
I will still get hurt
Because I'm already attach to you

So that's okay
I love you either way
Sep 26 · 3.5k
Friends with benefits
Nina Sep 26
We hug
We kiss
We cuddle
In bed

We were just friends
We made out
To him
We were having ***
To me
We were making love
I was his friends with benefits
But he was my lover
Sep 23 · 128
Bite marks & You
Nina Sep 23
you gave me bite marks
Bites on my body
That no one else sees
Bites
That consists of pain
And also pleasure
You're the same like those marks
Both gives off
A temporary feelings
And eventually
It fades
Forever
Sep 9 · 67
How long more
Nina Sep 9
I'm not sure how long more
I can pretend to be happy
How long more
I'd be able to put this fake smile on my face
Endure my panic attacks
Living the day hiding the pain

Everything is going down hill
Nothing is getting better

I dont know
How long more
I'd be able to endure
Before i do something bad
Once again
Sep 8 · 65
Broken
Nina Sep 8
You're broken
Yet
You try to fix others that are broken
Just so you could feel
A little less broken
Sep 8 · 32
Bottled emotions
Nina Sep 8
It *****
When you bottle all your emotions up

When you pretend to be happy
When its clear that you're sad

When no matter how hard you try to fix things
You just end up destroying it

When you lose someone you love
But pretend to move on
Especially when they died infront of you

It *****
When you bottle up all your pain
For too long
Too much
That the bottle just crack
And everything is out once again
But this time
There's no way in hiding it
Sep 8 · 236
I'm tired
Nina Sep 8
I'm tired
I'm tired of faking my smiles
pretending to be happy
lying that I'm fine
I'm tired of being a disappointment
Being a mess
Being useless
I'm tired of dealing with toxic people
With a broken family
I'm tired of panic attacks
I'm tired of crying
I'm tired of everything
Sep 7 · 143
Let me go
Nina Sep 7
If my presence
Leave a scar in your heart
Please let me go
So you won't have to torture yourself
By having me around
Sep 2 · 76
Bite marks
Nina Sep 2
I'll leave these mark
To show the other girls
That im yours
And you are mine
Even though we are nothing
But just friends

I'll make sure
Your other dates
Won't want you
As much as i want you
Not couples, but you are mine
Aug 31 · 297
Unkiss me
Nina Aug 31
He kissed me
Unexpectedly
Now
I can't get it out of my head
The thought of his lips
On my lips
The warmth
The goosebumps
I wanted to kiss him more
But I can't
I'm not allowed to
So please unkiss me
Since I can't kiss you
Make me forget
Those lips
That made me fly
Aug 30 · 69
Drink my pain away
Nina Aug 30
*****
Whiskey
***

Drink
Drink
Drink

How many shots have i had?
How many glasses has it been?

Does it matter?
All im trying to do is to numb the pain away
Drink
Drink
Drink

How many times have i used alcohol
To feel numb?
I've been drinking everyday

But on the bright side
I didn't harm myself
So ill keep drinking
To feel okay
Aug 29 · 478
Self love
Nina Aug 29
Learn to love yourself
Because no one ever will
Aug 29 · 43
Drunk
Nina Aug 29
Talk to me when you're drunk again
That's the only time you have me attention
You called me your girl
You held me by the hand

You were drunk
You were unaware of what you were doing
But I didn't care

Be drunk again
So i can experience it
Because out of all the girls that were there that night
I was the only one you did that to

So be drunk
Now that you're sober
You don't remember me anymore
Aug 24 · 70
Unsmile my smile
Nina Aug 24
I couldn't help it
But to smile
Every time i look at you
Or think of you
It *****
Because it's pretty obvious
That i like you
You could see it  in my eyes
And especially my smile
But you don't care
You don't care about my feelings
So I'll promise you
Sooner or later
I won't be smiling
When i see your face
I will look at you with a straight face
And show you
That you're no longer
The reason why i smile
Aug 22 · 245
Love & lust
Nina Aug 22
I was looking for love
But he was looking for lust
I was trying to make love
He just wanted to have ***
Aug 21 · 66
Be Mine
Nina Aug 21
She was aware
That he wasn't here for long
A couple of months in her country  for work
And Just looking for someone to have fun with

She knew that from the beginning
But she was hoping he'd stay a little longer
She had already fallen for him
Too deep
To even say goodbye
She didn't mind the thought of him going back
As long as she knew she'd have him in her heart
So she begged
Deep inside her heart
For him to be hers
For him to fall for her
And only her
Hoping that one day,
He'll come back
And ask for her hand

He was just a tourist
That she fell for
And hoped to be his someday
So she begged
Hoping that he will fall in love with her
Just like how she fell for him
Aug 21 · 999
He turned me on
Nina Aug 21
He had pretty eyes
And seductive lips
He told me
That i turn him on
I just laugh it off
But little did he know
He had turn me on first
Aug 20 · 54
Irish Man
Nina Aug 20
I met a guy
At a pub
He was way beyond tall
With pretty blue eyes
And long eyelashes

I couldn't help myself
But to stare into his eyes
And when he stares at me
Oh gosh I can't help it
But to smile at him
And seeing his smile
Makes me fall in love a little more

He was an Irish man
I never knew
I'd fall for an Irish man
I thought,maybe, he was british.
But i was wrong
But that didn't matter
I don't care that he was irish
For all it matters,
I was in love with an irish man

But sad news
He isn't looking for love
He was just looking for fun
But thats alright

I hope maybe
Someday
We can meet again
And maybe
By that time
I would have Irish Babies with him

He was the first irish man
I'd fallen for
And i hope
He's the only irish man I'd love
My story of meeting an irish man and falling for him
Aug 17 · 61
You
Nina Aug 17
You
I could fall for anyone i want
Choose anyone i want
But somehow
Its always been
You
Aug 15 · 78
If i Knew
Nina Aug 15
If i knew it would be our last goodbye
I would've end it in a nice way
If i knew it was the last time i could call you,
I would've let you talk the entire time
If i knew all of our text messages will be ignored,
I wouldn't have ended it with something rude
Instead
I would've said how much i loved you
How much i care
How much i need you
If i knew it was going to be the end
I would've prepared for a better ending
Aug 15 · 488
Moved on
Nina Aug 15
I knew I've moved on
When someone else is making me smile
Instead of you
Nina Aug 15
when you love someone
You will give it all to that person
You will want to be with that person
You will be scared to lose that person

But when you truly love someone
You'll learn that someday,
You have no choice but to let go.
You'll understand that it's the only best thing you could do
To overcome the fear of letting go
And move on to a better life
To love someone
You have to prepare yourself
When it's time to let go
Aug 15 · 82
15th
Nina Aug 15
‪5 months ago today,‬
‪Was the first time i fell for you‬
‪But things didn't go as planned and we had to say goodbye‬
‪And i can safely say now,‬
‪That I'm finally over you‬
‪That I'm no longer holding onto you‬
Aug 14 · 72
Love you Love me
Nina Aug 14
Loving you
Made me love myself
Made me want to be better for myself
So let me love you
Because only when i love you
I know how to love myself
Aug 8 · 338
Ignorance
Nina Aug 8
Don't close your heart
because of your Eyes.
Believe me,
you won't even find love
if you're just gonna rely on the ideal person you want.
Beauty doesnt last forever.
Stop being ignorant
Aug 5 · 337
cursed love
Nina Aug 5
i feel like
i'm cursed to love you
only you
and no one else
Aug 5 · 143
Love You, Always
Nina Aug 5
you've moved on
but i have not
someday,
i know i will let go
but for now,
i will still love you
and i will keep loving you
til the end of time
i will love you
always
even if i've moved on
Aug 2 · 202
Clean bedsheets
Nina Aug 2
I'm laying on my bed
That was freshly washed
The sweet fresh scent
Had me thinking of you.

The first time you were on my bed
Was the day i had washed them
Cuddling you in my bed
With your smell blended with the sheets
The smell i could fall asleep to
The one that makes me feel safe

I'm smelling my bedsheets again
But this time
Its lacking you
Aug 2 · 110
Love you, always.
Nina Aug 2
You've been long gone,
But my love for you is still standing strong.
Maybe you've moved on
Maybe you don't love me no more

One day, I'd be the same
But one thing i can promise you,
Even if i found someone new,
I will always love you.

Somewhere deep inside my heart,
I will keep you hidden.
I will love you always
An undying love for you
Jul 30 · 123
How do i let go?
Nina Jul 30
I want to let go
And move on to someone new
But how can i do so?
When everything i do,
I look for you.
And everyone i see,
I see you.
Jul 26 · 303
Hate me
Nina Jul 26
Hate me
Hate me
I beg you to hate me
I just want you to hate me
Why , you ask.
So that when i die,
It wouldn't hurt you
Since you hated me from the start
Jul 26 · 102
Desperate
Nina Jul 26
I've been so lonely
Too lonely
That i crave for attention
I'm desperate for someone
To love me

I'm desperate
For attention
Jul 25 · 67
You don't know
Nina Jul 25
You don't know how i feel
Because you've never seen yourself
The way i see you
You never knew how much i truly love you
So of course you won't know how much i love you
When you've never loved someone
As i as i loved you.
Jul 25 · 666
Love me not
Nina Jul 25
He did not love me
He never did from the start
He thought he did
But he was mistaken
He was just lonely
And in need of love
That he foolishly think he loved me
But as time passed
His feelings for his ex grew
And i was thrown aside

He never loved me
I was just a rebound
Someone to give him love

And i was a fool
To believe he loved me
Jul 25 · 80
Reminiscing
Nina Jul 25
He asked,
"What am I supposed to feel looking at these old photos?"

I guess
i wanted him to never forget those memories
The ones we had together
And how much happiness it has brought me.
But also remember that it's all gone
And i have been ruminating about those times
How deeply sad i am


Maybe you felt nothing
But those pictures,
Brings meaning to me,
Even if you don't feel the same
Jul 25 · 231
Fake Happy
Nina Jul 25
I've moved on
And I'm happier now






















Sorry i lied.
Truth is,
I miss you so much,
And I'm not okay without you here.
Jul 21 · 1000
Friend
Nina Jul 21
He was my entire world
But i was just his friend
Jul 20 · 51
Sell myself short
Nina Jul 20
I loved him too much
I'd go the extra mile for him
I'd spend money for him
I'd go anything for him

But i can't help it
I love him too much
That i sold myself short
Jul 19 · 895
Never Say " I Love You "
Nina Jul 19
Never tell someone you love them
Don't give them the advantage of knowing.

Once they know,
they'll use it against you

they'll use you as a second option
as a fall back plan

because they know,
no matter what they do,
you'll always be there for them.
loving them
Jul 8 · 255
Fall for you
Nina Jul 8
I will keep on falling
Falling in love with you
Despite knowing how painful the fall will be
I will still fall
If it's for you
Jul 8 · 69
Rebound
Nina Jul 8
I used you as a rebound
Not to replace someone else
But a rebound for death
Jul 8 · 104
Commitment
Nina Jul 8
You told me,
You can't love me because you've lost your commitment.
But that's a lie
Because you've always been committed
Not with me,
But to your past lover.
Jul 8 · 103
Smile no more
Nina Jul 8
" why did you stop smiling?"

"The reason behind my smiles,
Has already left,
Therefore,
There is nothing for me to smile again"
Jul 8 · 220
Love at first sight
Nina Jul 8
I didn't believe in love at first sight
Til the moment I met you
Jul 7 · 156
Replacement
Nina Jul 7
I've been smoking a lot lately
Trying to replace the taste of your lips
By having the taste of nicotine instead
Jul 7 · 162
Smoking kills
Nina Jul 7
People say,
Smoking kills
But nothing kills me more
Than not having you at all
Jul 5 · 236
I finally knew why
Nina Jul 5
I finally knew why
His feelings for me has faded
The reason why
He wouldn't want me back
Why
He no longer wants me

It was because
He was able to get the one he wanted
The one he has been waiting for all this while
When I thought I could replace her,
I guess I was wrong
And now I knew why
There is no more us
But only him and her.
Jul 5 · 90
Letting go
Nina Jul 5
I was holding onto you
And I didn't want to let go
But you were holding onto someone else
And I know you didnt want to let go
So I let go of my hands
So that you could be free
With the one you wish to be with
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