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691 · Aug 2015
Haiku #9
I'm an observer,
I'm both within and without.
I see all your masks.
In the mist I remeber in the shadows I learn into the crowd I observe
679 · Jun 2015
A suffocating love
I love you.
I want nothing but the best for you.
You love me
But you just don't want to be hurt by me;
Your passive aggressive threats,
Your unwarranted mistrust of me,
The constent questions, the tests.
Love is supossed to fly and be free,
But all I feel is loves firm grip on my throat its talons digging in to my very soul,
Bleeding me of my empathy.
Am I in this love to fulfill a role?
Is this now my reality?
I'm cracking under the pressure
My psyche beaten and bruised by your ups and downs.
You say "this is a love that's forever"
I smile at you but this smile hides a frown

I love you but it feels like it needs an -e and a -d
because I don't want the love you give me
I can't take much more of this

Poem in my muses series
676 · Jun 2015
Hedonism
I do it so I can feel pleasure,
Searching for battle, ***, and treasure.
I take them to be numb as a rock or light as a feather.
They say slow down ,will I? Ha Never.
I ride dragons and keep company with the green lady.
I love this girl because she never questions my fidelity,
I abuse her, burn her on a pire as if for witchery.
Her name is Mary.
I have no god in my pantheon except Eros,
He goes by many names ethanol, E and blow.
He saves me from monotony, its nagging like a stubbed toe.
He runs the world like a ring master at a circus show.
We are lions being whipped and taunted
Because to fill the void is all we wanted.
Another part of my muses series on lusts addict family member hedonism
649 · Jun 2016
Nez boy//Chronomentrophobia
You've been with me from the start,  
Our distance couldn't be shorter but we are so far apart .
I miss the times we would sing for no reason.
I miss our poems written almost by our feelings.
We found happiness in the compositions of our plain
but looking back I'm clearly not the same.

The world is hardening me,
It broke my dome protecting my reality.
I lost the trust, the bank is closed,
Even in lust the lack of love shows
Because for one you need the other.
Injaka turned  into strays
my brothers, I now call them cain
But how was I able?
I was their dawg...see now I had no seat at the table.

I'm  confused I don't know what to do,
I know it is because I'm losing you.
Want to go back to the old days so we can do it the old ways.
how are we in the same place but I can barely rocognize your face?
The cities lights dazzal my sight
The cold numbs me on these city nights
The monotony is draining my will to fight i see this when i think "What would i even write?".

I wonder how you'd feel if you could see the new me.
I do know one thing I  miss you,
the old Manezi.
Injaka- south african slang meaning  friend  stems from the word inja which means dog

Losing my self
639 · Oct 2013
Music
Music is my escape,
My clear landscape
Where, with my words a rhythm,
I can balance my optimism and pesimisim.

Music is my love and hate,
Can't you hear my heart beat like an 808.
Blues ,pop and every sound in between,
It's endless symphonies play in my dreams.

I can always depend on you when life gets tough
You make me tremble,cry, puff and laugh.
The last thing I hear every night
Music you are my life.
638 · Nov 2013
Writers block
I'm looking at this paper with no idea what to write,
Because all I would like to sound I've already read.
I'm looking at this medium which voices my thoughts,
But I can't seem to write the right words to paint the picture In my head.
I'm living my life the way I think is right,
But all I feel is my emptiness am I just writing to write?

Where did my inspiration go.
I'm looking at this paper with no idea what's gonna be another page.
what possibly can I write that would be heard in this day and age?
Poverty?
economy?
democracy?
society?
illicitly?
Race?
love?
Hate?
Peace?
Despair?
Education?
Fascination?
Condemnation?
Jubi­lation?
All saturated, there is no space for my view.
I'm looking in my mind to find a topic but I can't  fabricate one,
Because all I believe in and hold dear has been written.
I'm looking at this piece of paper with no idea what to write, knowing ambiguity won't give these words meaning.
I'm looking at myself by reading my words.
I'm frustrated at myself for this writers block.
I am trying acknowledge myself by admitting I don't have all the answers.
591 · May 2022
Domepeace
Keep the sun in your heart,
The moon in Your mind
and so you may see far,
the stars in your eyes
A mantra and prayer
581 · Jul 2016
Bonds//Bonds
Links in the chain,if they fall away when time sways then they play no part in the ka-ching.
564 · Jul 2014
As we lie by the berg.
I need to stop this love for the sake of my nerves so what's left of my mind will be preserved, I have a space reserved for you, not for you two if you wanted it to be this kind of sum you shouldn't have said I was the one but you are not to blame alone because I was in the zone when I let you in my home, in my room, way too soon like waking up to the moon.

We had said it was like a dream now my eyes are open and it seems you've sold this dream before, I don't judge but others might've call you a ***** but I'm not like that but I didn't think you were like this...
I told you my fears most hidden from my closest peers and brethren considering confessing to a reverend or a rabbi or a pastor no I will converse with my master Roshi but,
Roshi's very tired
          He's lying on his bed
He's been living with the living
          and dying with the dead.
Relating to L.Cohen.
I can't believe how you're playing me.
Man!...

**** "love".

**** the fact you like it rough,
My lust would be enough but, you are too perfect to let slip. I want you by my side no reason to hide I am yours you are mine.

But.

What is a perfect person at the wrong time?
A regret and burden on the mind.

It was like a dream so perfectly seamed it seemed life leans to be mean disguising pestilence as cream.
Original Spoken word scribed and structured as it is was said.
I needed to get this off my chest and I know *she* will read this,
558 · Jun 2014
A passion
I knew you before I knew your name
I knew you and I felt the same
I knew I would love your taste, your scent
I knew our passion was hell bent
I know I cant move this fast but it feels so right
I remember how you knew where to bite
I want to convay with you during the day
And i want to feel you in the still of the night
I met her at least i hope so my kindred spirit my new passion
551 · Feb 2016
Untitled
Physical pain? Emotional pain?; All the same, one is for now the other remains.
You speak to me and say "you just waste the day away"
I respond "you could've just said hey" but that's ok.
I light a smoke too your dismay
"Every smoke you have cancer will repay"
I pay you little mind as I ash on the tray
"I smoke my all days because it takes the pain away"
My train of thought you dismissed
I was too far gone in euphoria ,this bliss.
This is a lift i could've never missed.
543 · Oct 2015
Lazy//generationY
I've seen my life form a birds eye view
So small, so mundane , so insignificant.
I've viewed others lives ,moves by cues,
Hollow emotions through the daily regiment.
These edifices hearding us on the road of repetition and mediocrity
We are a species with amnesia,
What truly has changed since the era of Socrates?
We have only learned how to live in decadence and leisure.
We have weapons of mass destruction
Falsely reasoned as mass protection
We have fast foods but still people go hungry.
We repeat our mistakes again and again what is that? Insanity.
A kin to 1+1=2
If we do not change we are doomed.
When those in power forever pass the buck
And teach us how to
but are angry when we do
What the ****
Procrastinating whilst in need of revolution
Making problems that have nearly no solutions
Outdated tuition
Weak constitutions
The line between order and chaos is hazy
What will you do
"We leave the rest to you.."

Be honest you are just lazy
There has been a lot of controversy here recently with the universities and fees. seeing how we as the youth banded together and how the generation before us has acted during all this gave me inspiration and this is the result.
538 · Feb 2014
emotional condemnation
I saw you kiss another man last night,
you didn't even try to hide.
You showed me no love last night,
I felt the wind change aswell as the tide.
You didn't say sorry,
it's as if you were saying it was my fault.
Either way I wasn't going to listen to your stories, No I wouldn't humor this insult.
Those lip which I thought were mine,
Laid against a mans I never knew.
Wasn't I present , attentive did I miss the signs,
Was I delusional thinks it was just me and you.
I still took you home,
you dared to smile my way.
This isn't a palindrome ,
it was right in only your way.
I should be furious ,
but currently I'm numb.
But I wonder I'm curious,
did I know this day would come.
When you would test me ,
fastidious about your way to ***** my mind.
What could your reasoning be?
You ask " are we still on for lunch " I say " yeah what time?" .
I don't know why I'm feeling so little ,
in this situation
I guess I'll have to settle ,
for this emotional condemnation.
I have to let her go
526 · Oct 2013
Fine china
remember the time,well you wouldn't it's my memory,
I was on the Great Wall.
Dreaming amongst the bustle of tourists, but I wasn't bothered at all.
All I could think about was you,since your name is their precious gem, your Beauty ,to me, was greater then what I was seeing.
I was in my own zone my own paradise.
I felt closest to you in this foreign land then I did in my own home, my precious gem.
My heart.
My Jade.
521 · Aug 2021
My Buoy mantra
What I can't regain
I will create a new, just,
Need to see it through
Push for you
519 · Oct 2018
Calling Sol and loving Luna
Sol oh paniter of visions, curator of those under your light. Your passion is easily confused with fury and your momentary absences are known to be a time of danger and chaos
Basting the blessed and decimateing the ******,a infernal bliss.
General of the soil, those born from it follow your call under you they toil. maestro of the bloom and birds their harmonious notes in the air ,smelled and heard, from the plains to the berg but at the coast is when that celestial sovereignty ends.

Enters,a vision, Oh Luna; soft yellow dipped and dyed in the honeied hues of the horizon or a radiant alabaster, stark and chilled. cut from the heavens, apart of the city resting on that which scratches the sky but only visitors in the sights, you Nobly looking over. Teach me as you are, not as they say ,cold but ever observing seen every day.
You the Choreographer of the waves they dance by your direction, beautifully and brutishly birthing rainbows from their violate bombardments, for the birth of Brilliant ideas they have been the midwife.we lose and find ourselves in your teachings

Raising higher as you we age, as one should, on the path of the sage.
Stayed by the sea for a few days and got to know sun and moon a little better
Now I tend to laugh at the pity parties I throw.
Its the same old routine,  the same old show.
I whine and I moan
from tenor key to baritone
The curtains close, I stand and applaud but I do not go.
Gotta stop inviting myself to these pity parties
Glass dome full Of sticks,
stones grown in a broken home.
Windows; mirrors cracked
A haiku about Esteem, trauma and self sabotage
499 · Jan 2014
I'm tired
I'm tired of the judgement I face every day,
the what are you doings,  the why would yous, the you don't knows.

I'm tired of the distance that grows between us,
The once a week chats,The Ks, the byes
I miss the days gone by.

I'm tired of the sadness my self inflicted pain,
The bitten tongues, the doubt ,the you're not good enoughs.

I'm tired of this stagnate cycle,
these confused feelings, this constant weight on my chest, theses thoughts of suicide...

I'm tired of all the things I love dying
My family, my friends , my hopes , my dreams.

I'm sick and tired of all these false promises, ideologies and philosophies,
Life gets better, if you try your best you will have no regrets, patience is a virtue, we are one.

I've fought,
To only lose.
I've accepted others,
But been rejected by most.
I've waited for my chance to arise,
just for it to never come.
I've done everything I can to better my life,
to no avail.
I've kept my pain in me from
effecting others around me,
letting it fester never seeing the light of day.
Now all I am is tired,
And I'm tired of Being tired.
I don't know what to do anymore
494 · Dec 2018
A-path-y
I play with the switch‬
‪turns the light on and off‬,
‪The shine; my soul‬
Apathy
492 · Mar 2018
Pill-gram-age
Why are you searching
Do you truly want to know?
So not to miss out?
My generation and social media
Do you want to be better than yourself or the best ?
Do you want to know your strengths or their weaknesses ?
Learning beautiful words not to adorn but exploit
480 · Jun 2021
Then/now
Then
My love for you was as broad as the horizon
Then
My pain came in waves
Then
My tears flowed like flooded rivers from a days rain
Now
My heart and mind shake like leaves
at the thought of not rooting and branching out with you.
Now
My spirit wants to be freed, not bound to the lies  you say true.
Now
You're still not shy to say you love me sadly you've made me doubt, you working games but slack when it counts.
Testing times for young relationships
479 · Jun 2021
Mic check/ calm down
1-2-1-2-When you have pollen allergies,
Your first reaction when you sneeze isn't to chop down all the trees;
it's to move out of the breeze,
you see.
A mental mic check for when you feel like burning the Forrest
477 · Dec 2013
Irony
We want what we can't  have.
I want to be more then what i am.
I want to be more like what you want.
You want what seems like perfection.
You want me when I'm not around
But when I'm home I'm not good enough?
I want to give you what you want and need,I can't, I try my best.

We want something that's as epic as Romeo and Juliet but we end up like Adam and Eve.
Bringing nothing but turmoil to our world , or is it just on my end am I weak ,is that my flaw?,

I feel to much even when there is nothing there?
I want to know your secret.
How are you so Unphased by what's happening?
You want to know why I try so hard
I'll give you the answer...
I want to be happy.
I want to live in bliss.
I want you.
You want the same but it seems not with me,
the irony.
464 · Aug 2015
Some time//now
It's been some time since we were "in love",
But the feeling I ha­ve for you stand on truelove.
It's been some time since we saw ey­e to eye,
Buts these actions are the same to enter the sky.
It's ­hasn't been that long since I felt your
 touch,
But when you felt­ it I could see you didn't enjoy it much.
It's been some time since I saw you truly 
smile,
But to be­ honest no one has seen mine in a while.
It's been some time sinc­e we supported
each other,
But now ,at the edge, we will balance ­on 
one another.
454 · Mar 2018
Paradoxical
Phoenixes tears fall
Burn, Like fire from the rain
Power in weakness
It is said it's tears can heal all ailments physical and ,most importantly emotional
454 · Apr 2021
Fickle haiku
Sad to see it go
The way you don't want it to.
We stay on the go.
Anything worth it is limited
451 · Feb 2014
And so it's goes
And so it's goes when your mind is cleared inspiration flows and you know what are your hopes and dreams are they straight ahead like a beam or do they have twists and curves like a water stream shaping  the world as it so feels, path of least resistance kind of has an appeal.
And so it's goes when your mind is cleared insperation flows and I know I can feel the electricity in the air these word to me are a strike but to you at most a spare since I haven't knocked down mental pins given this topic justice But I'll keep on keeping on I can't be perfect like a good night kiss which tells us we're ok no need to be a martyr no not today.
And so it's goes when your mind is cleared inspiration flows and we know we can't make a change when we're at a stage of letting one per millions turn the page in to a new age of innovation through investigation education and perspiration. Greatness Isn't for the select few but for most of us that's my view
And so it's goes when your mind is cleared inspiration flows and so I think greatness is making a change in many lives and that's what I strive, to do, but by changing one life or maybe two every person they change will be because of you , let that sink in, so in fact greatness is for all of us. I trust you don't think I'm trying to make you rush I'm just trying to let you know your potential is exponential like that of ones mind making something out of nothing like these rhymes, from mind to pen to paper sole inspiration it's my time to shine.
And so it's goes when your mind is cleared insperation flows and I hope these words will be with you where ever you go do as you wish not because someone else said so.
And so it's goes when your mind is cleared insperation flows and I know it's about Time I go.
Spoken word
444 · Mar 2016
Haiku #16
So this is longing?
I did not know it hurt so,
Well at least I know.
443 · Oct 2021
Give to keep/ haiku
To Touch the heavens
must burn your solid foundation
Rocket to the stars.
You can take but you must give to keep
Just another lonely bright Dazzled night in the diamond city of the land of gold.
The seasons change feels like a lamentation the autumn wind has never been so cold.

Sigh

Thought these metro lights blinding but I still see your name next to the moon in the stars.
The city's fluxed and curved silhouette,
Spectacular. happy to look, haven't seen you on these streets without occasion like a vintage car.

Sigh

I wonder, Were we moving too fast was it the pressure?
our chemistry had me at my triple point; fluid at times, solid for a minute but heated when we're livid. Aroma like therapy that's why I'm with Mary more, now that you're not near me.

Inhale

Used to be nothing but a product of jozi. a chubby hot boy plus everybody knows me. Well only my role, never my name Ilie man all ways had dat more fiha that's  what I was told. Not innocent but I have a bright soul.

Sigh

It was easier when I was apathetic, I could fake smile, greet enemies like "sho, Fede". the me of yesteryear would snark at my weakness now, but my sight has changed lately.

Inhale

Realize the higher I go the more balance I need, yes, these changes involve you but they are all on me.
A spoken word ment for a performance that never happened due to changes which is ironic. did most of it riding through Sandton . Includes a few South African/Rastafarian slang words such as
Jozi-short name for Johannesburg, South Africa
Ilie man- a man who is sacred/blessed/sanctified
Fiha- good marijuana
Sho, Fede- greetings (my)guy
Hot boy- a young illicit substances distributer

The Train of thought has a direction and many stops, when you're melancholy, but you Learn something at every stop along the line.
Each stanza has a sporadic rhyme scheme to show the sporadic nature of thought
432 · Oct 2013
Just a concept
Can you prove it,
Reality.
Even though me and you can persive the same thing,
That just validates what we are seeing in our
Reality.
could it be that reality is just a concept?
If so does the mean we can contest it?
Better yet best it ?
If you think you can you will.
Random thoughts of motivation hidden in a cloud of doubts
432 · Jan 2019
Drought(10w)
Rain, rain, don't go away;  haven't been promised another day.
Wisdom with age
430 · May 2018
Haiku 30/05/18
My timing is bad,
Like a death of a loved one
Seems selfish, a far.
Suspend your disbelief but when emotions are high foresight is low. Revealing my pain to release my chest. Never belligerent
427 · Mar 2018
You-in-verse/ draft letter
Eyes deep and dark as if linked to the primordial abyss,
It was as if " " could see further than the blank faces of truths and lies
It was as if " " could clearly see what is and what is not.

Voice commanding attention like the horns of heavens army and as soothing as it's zithers, " " lips its succulent strings.
Body as bountiful as the late harvest " " delicacies just as sweet miracles when " " legs part blessing falling from my chin to my feet,ceremony a Thanks giving for this decadent feast.

A self, if I don't help , watering flower blooming how and when ever it sees fit.
Passion like the sun, radiant and all illuminating but tempered by a mind like the moon on a still pond, while it seems grounded it's true home is in the sky amongst the stars.
It's a draft of a letter
427 · Aug 2014
Untitled
As my eyes slant I see stars,
Even though I haven't reached my dreams I wonder how I got this far
as I let the gum dry I wonder how I got this high now longing over days gone by.
As I spark this flame,
I realize this feeling of loning is mine I'm to blame.
As I inhale,
I think of their skin soft, as a cloud but not as pale lips of rose to me readily exposed.
As I renew my vibe,
even though life right now isn't the best it has been kind.
As my mind flows,
my entropy grows I'm the opposite of low if you could see my aura you'd know it glows.
As I center myself no thought that I need help,these feelings are mine to be seen not felt,by others,not my friends nor the women in my bed--
my lover more like my ****** this is nothing deeper then flesh.
let me put my mind to rest.

As I stare at the cities skyline and the clocks time while writing these rhymes I remember this world, is mine.
Need a name comment below what you think it should be
416 · Apr 2014
Haiku #4
Am I still alive
or is this just memories
I can't help but cry
405 · Oct 2013
The wind
Oh I loved her how she kept me cool headed in the day and warm at night
I loved the way she kissed me softly and how her touch gave me comfort
But she can bite when she feels fit when she's upset she can howl like the wolves in the mountain
But I loved her  how I loved her
The way I felt like she's lifting me of the ground even though some times she's still  I knew she was there
But she passes me by with out saying good bye and like her ways she's gone like the wind
405 · Oct 2017
Indras chambers Haiku
Slick, Drip, damp,drop, moist.
Thunder jealous of your groans
Lightning, of my strikes.
It’s about ***,not storm gods
403 · Nov 2016
Lullyby//10 word
Tired of being Awake and Sad, least let me sleep.
A love that will rip it's self apart if not told whats enough,
end up doing too much but better that then us losing touch. I believed but now
I know, I hoped to bare the weather, prideful, no idea what was is tow: rain,sleep and snow.

A love that was free, turned selfish, my minds on you and I can't help it.
Inhliziyo I have no faith but patience and loyalty so your silence can only annoy me; but when you tell me what's good I make you laugh like a jester and I treat you like royalty.

Funny because now I was feeling like booboo the fool. I need rest, You Just look on when
I sing my song are you deaf-

-silence-

wait This can't be true.
This can't be you

-No wait-

this isn't me, been blaming you a lot recently. we haven't been on the same frequency, We're  always up and down, that's a sine.
I need to disconnect and clear my mind.
haven't had time to meditate, now that's a lie.
I always meditate when I'm silent, write or rhyme.

I do this a lot, darkened visions from the burns and cuts I got, know your not one but I've taken a hit more than once,it wasn't fun, but It had to be done.
You are worth it, a crown but I can't make it right now.
I want to grow with you; Like a tree bares fruits not only flowers, fickle,it looks beautiful, only, in daylight hours.

Let me be wise so I can handle instability,
I learn more about myself for my own sanity.
I had let my light dim not dealing with every thing that life brings.
I had a love for you that was starving because I wasn't truly loving my self enough, that was toxic like lead but now I'm clutch.

No need to write in a rush, but know
I'm sending love
Had time to think whilst not distracting myself with her glow whilst we grow(up). Planning on making this a song
The title is a play on the  words it can be read as :decent love as in the ideal Of Love, dissent Love as in toxic relationship hurting each other over misunderstandings in my case Or the sent  love meaning me reaching out

In my 'trip' series
They slumber in their stubbornness, they, alone

They have seen their brethren and extensions lost to the ebenflow

All that is left of themselves is what has not been lost or given.

They have shielded the meek since they left, the safety of the waters, to the bountiful yet perilous shores and banks.

A foot hold for the scenery and possibilities a fort against the storms and heavens tribulations.

Shadows cast, air guided

To be left, alone, I have to leave all I've known or Is known.
I think me a star when I'm only dust.

I try sympathize and synchroniz not knowing I is the disconnect.

I wake in their home surrounded in my stubbornness now they think me my own.

Dust for the young monoliths to grow.
I was in a valley/ canyon in Mpumalanga the air was clear and a storm was a day away.
Medicated and meditated these are some words I remember
Written In a way the stanzas look like peaks in a range.
394 · Aug 2018
Time is _____//the trust
Old debts have been paid
Love has subsidized the pain.
Heart; open for trade.
An affirmation and a plan
390 · Feb 2015
Recently(10w)
I fall in love quickly, I fall out even quicker
Haven't posted in a while this is why
388 · Aug 2017
Self/Portrait
semblance of a valley forest on fire
Cascading black ethereal smoke in shapes of bouqued flowers, impurities purged in the crucible that is my rampaging thought.

baked browned clay surrounding the fluid paths to the ocean or is it to see?
Its peaks and crevasses the features one can see but the bellows and songs of these dancing mountains and volcano are what one remembers.

Rumbling moats, you can't see the fire but there is smoke. Ebony trees which sway ever so slightly in the breeze both a crown, a symbol of majesty, and masculine pedigree.
A portrait that can only be drawn by gaia when I look on to this visage all Ndibona ikhaya.
Ndibona ikhaya means "I see (is)home"
Playing with imagery
A weeds confidence.
A heart; strong as a boulder
mind clear like a stream
Now, believe your gut,
your heart will negotiate,
your mind will delude.
the first feel tends to be the right feel; when it comes to the subject of trust.
371 · Jul 2017
Untitled
I know I'm cumbersome I know i can seem like a test
something you need to overcome the one bad apple in your basket.

I know i doesn't meet your expectation. This world doesnt meet mine either.
the very air seems to be suffering for anxiety and reactive depression, understand, its in the ether

You know I'm an apathetic empath, felt every kind of woe
know life's too short always being sad, all i can do is wait see what life has in store.

I identify with nothing but myself, no delegation
Now all i know's is love no hopes no segregation
no disappointments because no expectation.

i would do the absurd, accomplish the impossible to have true joy.
radient like a triangle carried by birds,
I Tried to fool the system like the horse did troy.
Messing with pronouns and nouns
Wrote alot while i was in the dark too scared to share those but this is when i first started seeing a light
369 · Dec 2015
Haiku #12
Like ink on a page
You are paint on a canvas
You, a masterpiece
Next page