Why are we afraid
Of falling in love?
Maybe it's because
We're less assured
Maybe it's just
We're too old
Or just too young
And sometimes
It's the truth that
No one will catch you
When you both fell
Together from a feeling
And he got caught
By someone down below
Who effortlessly waited
His feelings for you
Dispersed in the air
Just like a thin vapor
You can no longer feel it
And all that's left
Is the reason
Why you fell

Your hand on my hand
Got those eyes locked on mine
Just out skin against the warmth
Of how we held each other tight

I let the joy to sink in
Closed my eyes and breathed deep
Opened 'em again and realized
It was just my dream last night

It was what she had
It was what she needed
It was what she did
To bleed for a living
It wasn't what she thought
That she would go through
It's where she's used to
Die to live today
It wasn't her fault
It was the fault in her heart
The cracks on her cheeks
Brought upon by loving you bad
She's dry and wringed
Wrinkled and broken
Though what she ever did
Was to pick up each of her piece

I found myself under
the dance of flashing lights
and dimming night,
of talking clouds
and breathing hours,
the hands of time
would tick in his hand;
loud enough he told me
as his voice reverberates in my ear,
"Welcome to Wonderland."

I walked in the rain
On a summer day
Wond'ring if that face
Would show up again
I took each step
With the fog in my eyes
I want to get lost
But can't help standing by
I watched my past
As if I'm watching you coming near
And all that's coming
Are all of my fears
Rain of my thoughts
Kept coming on point
Maybe you would
But maybe you won't

I woke up bathing in the moon light. It was of warmth and tender touch. Though I know that I have to get through of it. So I did everything I have to as I took it for granted. As I went outside to take on my path, my yesterdays kept huanting and pulling me back. I fought and I fought until I thought it was alright. But I'm not alright. I let myself be taken and be brought to another realm where reality's obscure and so desperate to show there's life when there's none. The sun's about to come and the sky's turning teal. I am again on the same road I walked a thousand times before. And I'd walk a million times more. It's not only becoming a habbit, it's becoming more of regularity in my system. I want my yesterday to capture me this time.

I wrote "You"
But not your name
It could be you
Or someone the same
I can't tell
It's less specific
I bleed out some words
And I ended up with "You"
I don't know how
But it's somehow true
Whatever I bleed out
In black or blue
I always find myself tangled
In the person I call "You"

And now suddenly
We are estranged
Because of our acts
Of how we said 'I love you'
Of how our eyes gazed
To each other's
On how we bid farewell
To our very last toast
And the night
Feasted with the warmth
Swallowing us in
But we broke out instead

I used to be your sun
The only star in your day
That burns in the sky
But now I'm your moon
Who watches you over
Quiet in the shadows
Not a star anymore
Just someone you pass by
Because now I'm only
A single part of the night
That fades along with the dark
And no longer the reason
For you to wake up

The dead man's heart
Isn't beating anymore
And so does mine
Though I'm still awake
And so cold
I'm longing for a coffin
Longing for the dusk
In my home of tranquil
Dug me up from underneath
Come pull me down
Show my face from a glass
I want to get back
From where I was
Burry me alive
Burry me inside
**** my all at once
Leave this wish underground

The night's too cold
The fog just clogged
The moon's up high
I forgot it's December

The wind took me
To my bed sheets
I curled, it's cold
I forgot it's December

I can't think of
Words to defy
Why I just keep
Forgetting it's December

I can't find it
Searched everywhere
The place that brings
Cold nights when it's December

I saw your face
Two teardrops raced
So warm but cold
I forgot it's December

Just now I found
You are the word
The reason why
I forgot it's December

I saw the place
Of cold embrace
It was my heart
In the night of December

I remember
Sweet and bitter
Yes, it didn't last
I lost you last December

Make them vanish
Make them go
**** them with your
Shining silver sword
Don't you dare drown them
They will swim
Or they'll hunt you
From underneath
Just like the candles
Their fire'll be blown
Let them be smoke
Let them be gone
They're your
Insomia at 3am
Your nightmare
From dusk 'till dawn
Oh my dear Reilegh
Go down and slay your demons

This empty bed of mine
Longs for you tonight
Would you stay here for a while
Only for the meantime
Just give it a couple of minutes
Try it just for a second
And if you do, at least
You have thought of it
And it'll be warm again
Like how it used to be
Like how it was
Being slept on with you
When I used to be alive

Have you ever
Drown yourself to sleep
With your tears?
It's just your crying
That became your lullaby
A painful spell casted by you
And you know that you're
Only cursing yourself more
And when the sun fin'ly came
The morning breeze will come
Stinging your eyes
From all those salty tears
You had to withdraw
From all your pain
You wanted to escape from

You are so in love with the moon,
as much as it is with the ocean,
to notice a little star like me.
It's stupid of me to fall for someone
who sees light than a far away
twinkle in the sea of darkness.
Every night the moon shows up,
you cry and cradle yourself to sleep
for the moon is bathing the ocean
with her love and she's being
kissed with his towering waves
that may never reach her
but touch her in some way
that only them can understand.
And I'm here, from a distance that
only the Gods can measure how far,
twinkling in the pitch black sky
calling you out from your tears,
from her light that consumed your heart
asking for your heart. For your love.
But I'm never closer as the moon is to you
and falling from the heaven is just
worth a wish for you to have her love.

My all's beneath all
I have seen of this collision
In the wind I lay
With the air sinking in
Freezes me to my core
I have thought of thee
You're the one I owe of these
The one I always wanted to be
But I'll go first
To the sky but fall
Teardrops kept flying
Leaving my weary eyes
And all of those
Keep on flashing at once
Until I meet the melting sand
Burrowing me with my blood,
My thoughts, and my hands

I was asked about
my favorite love song;
I talked about your voice,
your laugh, and the other
sounds that you make.

I was asked about
my favorite scent;
I talked about our bed
and how the stain on our sheets
brings the smell of our love.

I was asked about
my favorite book;
I talked about our story
and how it is beautifully
inked on sheets of cream paper.

I was asked about
my favorite color;
I talked about the golden threads
of thousand sunsets as the sun never
stopped setting in your eyes.

I was asked about
my favorite place;
I talked about the warmth
of your arms and the beating
of your heart while we're miles
away from dreaming.

I was asked about
my favorite view;
I talked about your smile
and the silly faces that you make
that always make my day.

I was asked about
my favorite among them all;
I talked about you being my drug
and the flaws and the handsome side
of you, how perfect you are to me,
and how you are my favorite.

The fireworks burned the sky
Your memory burned my heart
My tears fell like the ashes
Leaving traces in the air
But the wind had it dried
Saying tears were my love
You let them fall and be gone
I can't catch 'em 'cause they're meant
To fall and get dried like of my love
Must be withdrawn to start again
To light up new flames
And drown the city lights

It felt so good
I disregarded the taste
It was worth the try
To have it as my first
The disgust was gone
The pleasure took part
Be with me and I'll bear it
To have it forever
Locking with mine

'Coz it's hard to see
The one who made these heartbeats
Having his own
Made by another

Inside your own system
Pain, painful that pain
Makes you bow to the ground
And cry tears in vain

The first above else
Sweetest among sweet
Extreme above realest
Was just the least to think

I thought I'd stand a chance
A shot to make a change
Of what was left behind
Before these pages came

I could've rewrote
My stupidiest mistakes
And make new moments
Saving thy heart from these aches

But it's just so amazing
How our story was told
Words written in ink
Won't undo even a hundred fold

We've been in fragments
Shattered and torn
And kept crawling back
To where we're from

That has been so long
Didn't know you were gone
To fit with another piece
And our pattern was ceased

Even if it's so hard
I won't ever ask
Just for my sweetest first
To have what he deserves

What we did has been done
What's been there has been left
These pages will continue
And so I must too

I'll wait for the day
For another piece to come
To fill these empty sheets
And make this story book complete

*For that someone dated back in the year 2010

I am not your breaktime deed --
That cigarette you roll
Between your fingertips.

I am not your black bow --
The one that you wear
When you're on call.

I am not your alcohol --
That bottle on your lips
And your face to the floor.

I am not your suede shoes --
Your night time glitter
In your daytime locker.

I am not your perfume --
Bottled and locked,
Always consumed.

I am not your secret --
A kept thought
Inside your head.

I am not your personal thing --
You neither own me
Nor use me.

I am your drugs --
And I brim your head
With what you think
Is true.

"How can you love him like that?"*

At 5, they taught me
how to color shapes
and I would color them
beyond the lines.

At 10, they told me
to make a 500-word essay
and I did a 1000-word
for it and got an F.

At 16, they apprised me
to wear a cocktail dress in a party
and I wore a long dress;
they bullied me for weeks.

At 20, my professor instructed me
to place up to 5 decimal places
and I wrote 7 for assurance;
I failed his class.

At 23, he asked me to love him
with everything that I can
and I gave him beyond everything;
he broke my heart.

I am your poet --
I write your name on my heart
and our memories on my pages.

I write about my doubts,
my maybe's, what if's
and whereabouts
of you; and only you.

I write about my mistakes and yours --
our past, present, supposed future;
and how I love you the most.

I write about our debates --
the shouting and crying like
a wildfire sprawled across the bed.

I write about our first date --
when we dress up so nicely
and danced all night.

I write about our first kiss --
the push and pull of our lips;
and the warmth of our breathing.

I write about the way we talk --
the sweetest and most painful sound
uttered against the wind by the heart.

I write about your heartbeat --
the way it speaks to me,
and how it says my name joyfully.

I write about your face, your body,
the sound, noise, and joy;
and how we make love endlessly.

I am your poet --
I write about our unending love
that ends on my pages.

I knew she was sad --
Not because there were
tears in her eyes
But because there were
Grey clouds in them
Swirling chaos in her mind
Thorns around her throat
Poison in her heart
And a tired smile
On her bleeding lips
And the love she knew
Never thought that
She's really that sad

I'm afraid I can no longer write*
So please, just break my heart
There's nothing more that I can give
Leave me be until I die
And in my words is where I'll live
But you'll be forever in my lines
We'll part ways but in both good terms
I'll hold my pen, you'll hold her hand
I don't want to end up hurting you
So do it now before I do

Find the girl
Find her world
From the tower
Of crawling bricks
From it's walls
Make her fall
Make me as her all
Make me break
Her even more
She'll bear this curse
She'll bleed the worst
Day after another
Feed her more
Make her live
Forevermore
She'll suffer this
Until darkness occurs
From this day on
This spell be sealed
Make this true
After her sleep

I'd rather be alone
Right now
Than being alone
Sooner than now

If I'll be on my self, I'll be on my self. I can't afford to ride another roller coaster with tons of passengers who'll jump off at the peak of the ride.

"It is the last"
It's all I can say
Like the 31st of January
We'll be on our ways
The bright city lights
Fireworks' flames in the sky
Will turn to ashes in the air
And be gone as what we did
Somehow, you're a part of me
Oh, my very dear January
But you only gave me days
You're not my tomorrow to spend
So tonight I'll linger
The cold breeze outside my door
I'll wait more stars to shine
In some more days
My January's coming home

I'm afraid of losing you
So I'd rather lose my breath
I'd die if you knew
So I'd rather tell it to myself
I can't be enough
So I'd rather love you this much
I'll never be so brave
So I'd rather have your back instead
I can never make you stay
So I'd rather keep you in my heart

Leave her
like how you would end
your favorite book.

All the markings you made
will be her ever after
on the pages you took.

Scan her down with those eyes
that once showed interest but are now
excited to read her very last word.

You would barely remember the details,
the marks, her errors, and lines
and will soon forget her.

And by then, you'll leave her
with pages mangled and folded
and befouled on the edges.

She's just one of your many books
piled in dusty shelves;
waiting in line to be forgotten.

We are the lost lovers who wander
the great walls of this world;
in pursuit of the love that only navigators
can have in their very own hands.

And we go in endless circles while
endlessly hoping of being home
to someone we'll ever know but
our fate only does.

The roads have turned to deserts
and the life is starting to wither;
you are her oasis--her savior from dispair;
though you are nowhere to be found in the middle of the death fair.

You are one of the likes of her --
young, tired, lost, and long gone
from the lovers' lane you once belonged;
and you're alone, wandering to wonder.

May you both find your ways
through this garden of all-or-nothing;
and may you find dandelions
than a rose in a field of thorns.

Love is like
your favorite
superhero --
it brings salvation
along with
its destruction.

Love is like
the air we breathe --
felt by our senses
except for the eyes.

Love is like
a sincere prayer --
where our hopes
and dreams
are being kept.

Love is like
a faithful devotion --
the act of being loyal,
of being truthful,
and committed.

Love is like
a memory --
lives through the years;
immortal when
scripted on pages.

Love is like
the promises --
uttered from
many years ago;
by a lover, to
a wishing well,
or to a falling star.

Because love
is something
you can never
hold on to;
but can only
believe in.

I got caught up by the stars
They took my hand
They took my heart

I found myself in the woods
Sadness and evil
Filled everything that goes beyond

And I saw you
Of all the places, but here
Where no light can be found

You smiled at me
I fell in an instant
The stars brought my heart to you

You offered yours
I took it without any doubt
Not realizing we're on the edge of a cliff

*And now I'm suicidal

It's 2 am
I'll take my medicine
It's not prescribed
Just my self medication
I don't know its dosage
I just take it all
A little too much
Can never be enough
Until you know
You're already drowned
The alcohol's in my veins
And I breathe smoke
You know I'm sick
It's 2 am, you see?
And I'll take you in

You want to know
Who I'm talking to
When it's already 2am
And the lights are dead
All you will see is the
Light from my phone

You want to talk
To the one I'm talking to
When it's already 2am
And my heart's dying
All you will hear
Are my thoughts screaming

You want to see
Who I'm talking to
When it's already 2am
And my hands are bleeding
All you will see
Are my words talking

"I can't hear you talking..."
How could I interfere
Such conversation of
Madness and beauty?
Have you heard a killing
So audible and axiomatic?

The festive lights are drowned
in the darkness of the night
and it's just you and I and
our sheets beneath us.

I breathed and traced your skin
with my fingers on my favorite parts
of you and tried to make your scars
feel a little bit lighter than before.

You healed from my touch
and slowly, I became a stranger
from my favorite places and my
landmarks are all gone.

From my love, I sparked the fire
that burned the fireworks in you
and you're slowly turning to ashes
just like my New Year's Eve.

I am so consumed
By my own addiction
And I'm addicted
To loving you
But you're just in
The cloud of my thoughts
And I light up a smoke
Each time the clouds
Brim over my lungs
Each part of me
Is just so into you
And they tell memories
Of you as I burn them slowly
My tub turned instantly
To an ash tray containing
My remains and the
Thoughts of you

But hey--
I spared my heart for you
May you know how warm
It'll be to have me in

and we roamed my bed
like the corners of your city
struggling to breathe,
grasping to every thread
of my soft sheets
you brought fire to my body,
brought waves of ocean
from my steaming pores
and you're thrusting
like diving down a deep well
crying out like a wolf
as if my ceiling is the moon
without any uncertainty,
you held the hanging bells
from the temple you're
trying to rule,
like you would to your pillow
pinch, bite, and lick
as if you're trying to do
some sort of a magic trick

what we did felt good,
your love tastes good,
and the daylight came
reaching out my windows
touching my eyes softly
and slowly, I came to my senses
and wished to be asleep forever
or prolong my greatest night

the darkness died as the sun came up
and you were gone in the morning
like my old school camp fire

gone for good...

after a night of festive screams,
scratches, and rolling in the hay,
what I got was just a trip
in Heaven and Hell
and I was so burned by your body,
blinded by your touch,
silenced with your kisses,
for a few hours, you made me
an object of your desires and lust

you're a daydream in the night
and your love is a mirage

Feed me with your thoughts
Paint me with your words
Count me with your letters
Define me with your lines
Speak to me in numbers
I'll answer you with a gaze
Make me more beautiful
Yet, **** me with your pen

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed the train
Because of those lashes
And colors in your face

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed the cab
Because of those heels
That can't carry your height

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed the lights
The man-made daytime
Because you didn't look up

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed the right guy
It was all a constructed show
But now, the curtains will fall

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed your lifetime
You had it all coming
But also having it slipped

She is her words --
        the letters in the lines;
        the art tattooed on pages.

She is mystery --
        the secrets and signs;
        the lies and her guise.

She is astonishment --
        the curved pathways in pages;
        the plot twists on the edges.

She is sadness --
        the tracing downfall from a cliff;
        like how she fell for you.

She is madness --
        the explosion of everything;
        the collision of all universe.

She is beauty --
        the art on gritty surfaces;
        convergence of different abstractions.

She is death --
        the poison to your heart;
        the knife before your eyes.

She is life --
        the birth of vivid events;
        the breath of memories.

She is love --
        the beating of each stroke;
        the thing you have from her.

She is her words --
        the black and blue on papers;
        the prisoner of her book.

Balled and rolled
But never been told
What was once tied
Will set loose and die

She does it with the water
She does it with her pain
She does it as her run
It's her best medicine

She's too weak
Her heart's very weak
Belittled and stomped
She's getting more bleak

Her only sunshine
Is the darkness
In the pits of the corners
Is where she sits with coldness

Her only nightmare
Is the light of the world
The more she's seen
The more she's haunted

She wishes her sunset
To come all at once
And leave this day
Leaving her not even an ounce

Though the medication
Is meant for a lifetime
Her dosages just won't stop
She's delirious and existing

As she lies awake
Against her soft sheets
Her eyes were withdrawing
The stars of her heartache
Each one carries
What her heart wants to leave
Warm as they fell
But ceases to be
One after another
Crashing against her pillow
Filling a pool of sorrow
And dries up in the gloomy wind
Her eyes kept burning
In her thoughts, she's drowned
Realizing the stars were up
Showing how we're living
In the depths of the dark