I want you
and a home to come home to
or maybe to come home to you
or maybe a home in you
or maybe I just want you.

We’re like two sunflowers, dear
Intertwined and always near
But when you’re gone
Suddenly, I’m not so bright
Withering until dawn
Waiting for your light

I was left in shambles,
I was left in the cold
Then she appeared like angels,
So divine and so bold
We danced through a sunshower
We baked the perfect batch
Oh so full our bellies were
It was a perfect match

Your breath
was as warm as fire,
your kisses raw and relentless.
Your tongue went wild inside his mouth
as if its life had depended on the taste.
We had caved into each other-
a hunger we could not satisfy.
And while I searched
for ways to justify our sins,
you were already exploring all the places
upon me that had gone untouched
for far too long.

Suddenly, the future doesn’t look so bright
Guided by a lighthouse without a light
Like a ship finding its way back to land
Misdirected, you’re buried in the sand

Always reading too
deeply into dreams that are
better left untouched

5:25 PM
11/12/20

I am a bug
You are a garden
Just one more hug
And I’m in heaven

I am an island
You are a sea
Leaving me stunned
And no longer empty

I am a comet
You are a star
Missing you’s become a habit
That leaves me with a scar

Two humans, two halves
Distant but never alone
Worlds apart but embraced as one
Things will find a way to connect
Time will correct itself
We’ve just got to wait
One of these days you’ll find me
I'm waiting in anticipation
Our sparks will ignite
A flame will ignite at first touch
The flame that guides the way
It can’t be long now, other half
Counting down the days
until we’re whole again.

Life will not hand you
your dreams so easily-
It simply gives you the tools
to achieve them.

The loss of a love,
now but a distant memory
still lingering in my mind;
It hurts, but I’m not sad.
A thousand deaths,
whether it be from this world,
My past or my present;
It hurts, but I’m not sad.
The pain upon my brain,
In my heart and in my soul;
It hurts, but I’m not sad.
Yet I still throw myself
at this life, at this world
and the broken thing always
comes back with a smile on it;
It hurts, but I’m not sad.

I never liked the
smell of tea tree until I
smelt it in her hair

8:32 PM
19/10/20

We danced with the trees-
our souls and nature as one-
it was just a dream

3:45 PM
14/8/21

Dear diary;
I need something
stronger than an ******-
something that really rattles the bones
and shakes me to the core
of my soul.

The witch of the woods
makes a home in my heart and
conjures her magic

4:06 PM
24/9/19

I trace
golden stairways
over your skin that
lead me to heaven:
your body.

Baby,
I just got home.
I'm about to pass out
but don't worry,
I've put on more than enough
toothpaste to rid me of
your love.
With crossed fingers,
and a heart still pounding,
I close my eyes hoping
your magic cure works.
Either way,
you were so worth it.
Okay, goodnight.

I am sorry that
someone you loved made you think
it's so hard to love

6:35 PM
30/1/21

I wonder how much pain,
that all-too-real pain,
I’m enduring on a daily basis.
I’m used to feeling like the weight of the world
is balancing on my heart
whenever I open that door
or a tidal wave of dread
plowing into my chest
every time I open my mouth,
but I wonder how much pain
I truly endure.
Each day seems to take a different toll.
Yes, some are better than others,
yet when I recall
how much I have endured,
I wonder if I should be amazed or ashamed;
I haven’t figured that out yet.

Your tongue
is an abstract painting,
an artwork born of passion,
each stroke so intricate
yet so abstruse.
Paint with me,
darling.

Let's forget our lives-
let's forget tomorrow and
dance the night away

9:44 PM
11/7/19

Your happiness shouldn’t depend solely on a person.
Whether they don’t care half as much about you,
whether they’ve moved on,
whether you’ve never met them,
whether you hardly know them,
whether you miss them,
whether they ****** you over or
whether they might not even exist.
...but I can’t help it.

Dear diary;
Why is it that my
misery craves company
the more my morale
continues to fade?
Too many times have I
known flesh that was
not my own
this year and it has
taken me too long to realize
that it isn't the cure.

and now
because of you
i know i
have a heart

and now
because of you
i wish i
didn’t

It’s true,
we watched the sun set
And with you:
A moment I wouldn’t forget
It happened,
we watched the moon rise
And it glistened,
I saw it in your eyes

The way you smiled at me
almost had me believe
that I mattered
again

You are the poem
I will never stop trying
to write.

I used to miss you
I still do
Selfish, maybe
But I miss the old you
The you that spoke your mind
The you that wasn’t left behind
You’ll walk by and pretend it’s all okay
But it’s true
I still miss you
Sometimes I can see the old you
When your eyes flash
When you almost look real

The queen
gave her life
for the king.
Indeed,
love is about
sacrifice.

We sat there in silence,
side by side,
hand in hand,
letting the crimson sunset
pour out its last waves of light.
Let it cleanse us of our
misery and hardship.
Tonight is about us, dear,
nothing else is real-
let time stand still.

Sit with me, dear friend
One more time, before I go
Let's pretend this night won't end
And we never have to go home
Nothing matters when the moon is out
In sweats or tatters you're entrancing
Whether in bed or out and about
This view makes me feel like dancing
You've never been more beautiful
Standing underneath the moon
Whether a crescent or half-full
Whether it be to an awful tune

Your body
is an artwork
hung up like a Monet
it brightens up my day
A masterpiece
that I call mine
appreciated each morning
'til night without warning
I cannot
turn away  
a beauty so immortal
so sublime and so artful

If you kissed
me to infinity,
I would still be
craving more because
enough does not exist
when it comes
to you.

Dear Diary;
Lately I've felt like
all I am doing is 'existing'-
I am 'just here'.
I wake up day after day,
each one a repeat, an endless loop.
Nothing happens anymore,
I'm just going through the motions
to get the **** day over with
just to do it the next day.
This is not what I had envisioned-
this is not living.

You’re in a weird place right now;
you feel like you don’t know which way is up
and which way is down,
and you know everyone
says to just follow your heart,
but you don’t know where it is.
It’s in that clearing where you left it.
It’s in the summer air.
It’s in a love you haven’t touched.
It’s in a song you haven’t listened to.
A book you haven’t read.
You’ll find it again,
you will,
just please,
don’t stop looking.

I keep all my emotions
In a treasure chest
under the oceans
much to my unrest.
I squeezed them all in
and threw away the key;
may as well have been the bin
or the bottom of the sea.
No wonder I have none left
to wear on my face;
to fill this empty cleft
or give me lasting grace.
No, I have put them in lines
Through ink and paper
Through artistic designs
And through every stanza.

I miss your tender
skin pressed up against my skin-
oh, I miss that spark

12:33 PM
2/2/20

Like a sunflower,
I follow you
through this world,
only sleeping when you're
out of sight.

And
in silence,
I take my leave.

There were so many
soft and delicate angles
in your smile.
Was it a weapon forged
to destroy me or
was it a cure created
to save me?
I guess time will tell.

It is okay if
all you are able to do
today is exist

1:37 AM
19/7/21

Well, I guess it's
just one of those nights
when I don't care if my batteries die
and I don’t switch on  
tomorrow.

There is nothing more
powerful than a woman
who's realized her worth

10:15 AM
12/8/21

The worst pains
are worse than
the best pleasures
are good

If you
ask the stars,
they will tell you
that I won't shut up.
Indeed,
I wish upon them
every night,
wishing for you.

There is only
one road into this heart-
no speed limit,
and no exits to
speak of.

Truly,
The stories and songs fall short of your beauty
Truly,
your beauty surpasses even the largest sea

Your eyes
are flowers I have
never seen
before.

The heart-strings that you pull
The plastic love inside of you
How long can you make it last?
She can’t see through your mask
Your instincts got the best of you
Why couldn’t you just let her be?
Before you know it there’s no turning back
And once it all starts to fade to black
You wonder what you've gotten yourself into
Watching as your plan is falling through
How will you get yourself out of this one?
It’s too late now, it's all been said and done

She waits
Waiting for the phone to ring
Waiting for an end in the arguing
It keeps her up all night
but she’s gotten used to the silence
In the darkness, she finds a balance
her mind races
Each passing day feels the same
When repetition is her only game
dragging herself out of bed
hanging onto life by the thread
And out into the world she goes
but inside, she withers like a rose
Feeling like an unread book upon the shelf
Ink upon her skin, she’s an artwork in itself
standing there in her home-made dress
she sewed with the threads of distress
But she’s not dressed to impress
The perfect mess

Empty night
Fading light
it was raining glass
in the broken part of town
Hollow night
Dying light
The stars comes to pass
And I am going down
Like the moon
Gone too soon
Waiting on the sun
When all is said and done