I wonder how much pain,
that all-too-real pain,
I’m enduring on a daily basis.
I’m used to feeling like the weight of the world
is balancing on my heart
whenever I open that door
or a tidal wave of dread
plowing into my chest
every time I open my mouth,
but I wonder how much pain
I truly endure.
Each day seems to take a different toll.
Yes, some are better than others,
yet when I recall
how much I have endured,
I wonder if I should be amazed or ashamed;
I haven’t figured that out yet.