This time last year, it was cloudy as today.
But I was about to meet you at Vigilante.

It was not raining, I wore my favorite blouse and my hear was beating so fast.

We took the porch seats, we talked as I got lost in your hazel green eyes.
Yeah we should go to the aquarium you said.

I had matcha and you had latte, you and your orioles cap.

We talked about the future  the presence and the past.

Now we are part of each other's past. You called me a romantic and
yes I am. That's why I'm writing again here.

In April we will go the the ball game and celebrate your birthday.

But when can I show you this poem, in a month or a year?

If I met you 20 years ago
I would not even lay my eyes on you
But I could
Picture the younger you with me
Easily
I frown on
Your 80's acid shirt, Kenny G hair
But I can still trace the image of you between your brows
Unswerving eyes and lips
If I met you 20 years ago
You would had fallen for me
I am so sure, because your eyes tell me

2 days and 6 hours are all the time we left.

While you’re striding in time,

I got left 25 years behind.

Doing math here isn’t going to do me any good

As long as your beard stays prickly.

Now it is all gone

I can’t tell if the time is moving on.

How many is a few? According to an online forum, it means 2-3 .So here I go
Typhoon hits Taiwan today, so I can’t go anywhere but stay at home all day reading and watching movie (Wild Tales). I think should start reading Swann’s Way again. I was quite interested in Proust in my junior year, cause one time my ex said something I called ‘words of wisdom’ ,which echoed with Proust’s words about sleeping. Maybe they are completely unrelated, but while reading Proust I was unconsciously analyzing the reading in Proust’s way: comparing someone I know in real life with the characters in the book; or maybe I was just putting on airs by showing that I know the (far-fetched) relation between what ******* my ex said and Proust’s words… The wind is getting stronger and stronger now and I am wondering where you are. On this lame typhoon day I’m suffocated by the boredom and humidity. I call it poetic nothingness.

What thought I have of you now, my love
As I quietly eating pho alone.
On the brink of light and shadow?

I thought I saw Whitman.
Oh, it's just you wearing beard again,full
The way I love the most.

As  I quietly eating pho alone,
Adorable babies parading by with their genuine smile and
Dimples in those little fat hands
Whitman takes the seat in front of me
"You should stop listening to Captain's words"

It was in Rome
You guys got the table(cade,nevin)
So we stood there
Till you asked us if we'd like to join

Sure I said so
awkward first cause you somehow look like Ryan Gosling(no you look better, RG has never been my type)
Blue eyed boy from Iowa
Strangely enough, my bedtime T-shirt says Iowa hawkeyes

We talked bout beer ,Shandy, Greek islands ,Prague,Bristol and Iowa. Why should I know?
then you turned to me
Hey, fun fact, do you know the British first sounds like American?
Why should I know?Why did you say so?
But that was the most intimating thing on the table.

Strangely enough, you only asked my name when you left, and everything was left in Rome.

you are the hottest summer day

it is your tie that makes you sweat in May

They say it is too hot in here

But for me it’s moderate

You said you love William Blake

But that’s too hard for me to understand

And you could sing me a serenade

But you could never love me back.

His brows spread like hawked in Sierra

His eyes streams like river

He glows like sun in Arizona

Sorry for my poor metaphor

What if I could write for you

The sweetest poems you’ve ever read

It won’t make any big difference

Sorry for my sad attempt

Now that you have made up your mind

You tell me that I’m unteachable

And I could recite you William Blake

But you could never love me back

My voice is a wall of glass
On the both side of the wall it's all the same

The roof is consisted of umbrella-shaped beams
The world is an embroidered web
I'm a spider that don't spew silk
cling on to intertwining iron bars
Accidentally chocked my fly to death
Buried it in the oblivion sky

Fed on chitchat
I'm now becoming a skinny,
wind up bird.

So, it all turns out to be a loop

William Burroughs , Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac

Your a ****** for disorderness

God ******, anger, emotion.

But you just cover them up with Paris Hilton jokes

Forever on the road, always ready to go

Ginsberg as my birthday gift, T.S. Eliot as my memory.

I met a boy
His name starts with B.Finally.
He's small but charming.He speaks French and Dutch.(genius)

First I thought he was boring(cause everybody says that)
But in fact, he's well educated and humorous and endearing.
Though he lives on waffles and beers(and chocolate),
I don't mind, cause he's care-free.

He calls his heart Brussels(weird huh),his head Antwerp and limbs Ghent,Namur and fingers Brugge.
I love every part of him.

I once lived in his head, Antwerp, where he hides all of his best assets.
Full of whimsical,creative and splendid thoughts.
The weather in his head is unpredictable.I still love it

He's sometimes proud and sometimes kind, but mostly very caring
I love him, but now i should leave.

It was winter of 16'
I met a boy in the land of Mary,
We went on our first date in the diner,
With my boy, boy from Detroit.

We shared an omelette, he put on extra ketchup
A scene I'll keep reminiscing.
We talked and laughed, as if no one's there
Suddenly I felt something so familiar
On the way to his car, I asked if he's cold
He said, No I'm fine, I am from Detroit.

In his car to the movie, in downtown Washington, D.C.
The movie is  called Manchester by the sea
I looked at him while he talked about how his parents met in Annapolis.
My first blue eyed boy, oh Michael from Detroit.

He said that he would leave, in the month of February
To China, to pursuit his dreams.
I said ,it's fine, it's not like I am looking for a relationship.
Little did I know, I will fall for this boy from Detroit.

It was winter of 16', we always liked to have some ice cream
Wandering in the city of the district
Sometimes we didn't, sometimes we did
Know where the street is taking us to
We may stand in the cold, try to figure out which way to go
But with him I'd never get lost.

My boy from Detroit, it was never a fling
but why are there so many" what we could have been"?
Before you left, you asked my when do I know,
When do I know that I have feelings for you?
Well I guess it was the moment I unexpectedly agreed
to go to a movie with you after dinner
In your black Ford on a late Friday night

It was winter of 16'
We are both at the crossroad,not knowing where life
Would take us to
But we will be fine, after some time
We will meet again without tears in my eyes.
This is for you, Mike
Oh my boy from Detroit

When the day come,I would gladly
Change my last name to Olevnik.

Last Christmas I told you''Merry Christmas" on this staircase
With my embroidery red dress and you as a Krampus

This year I am still on this staircase
In my green sweater
and it's drizzling outside

Tonight I will have a Tex-Mex party with all my friends
And my lomo instant
Where are you my dear dear friend

Will we ever meet again?
Where or When?
In what year and where?

I wanna  be your cold stone girl,
The one you not only flirt but order a banana flavor for.

The thought of  you going to other cold stone
without me there frowning upon your choice
could **** me even in the city I love the most.

While we're both chasing our own dreams
I'll always remember you said
"Who knows what will happen,it's a small world"

I wanna be your cold stone girl,
The one that always greets you with a smile.
If you cannot find any cold stone you like
in  Nanjing, don't worry
I'm always up for ice cream in the cold

In February, you are off to my city
I secretly wish you won't for fall any cold stone girls
that giggle at your corny  jokes

I wanna be your cold stone girl,
and keep you company
While we both sail around the world.

10 months sounds like a long period of time,but
it's a small world after all.
When we fulfill that unknown dreams of our own
Meet me again in the cold stone,
for I will always be, your cold stone girl.

Dear Drew, Baby Blue
I'm no T swift but I write what I feel to.
I remember the way you said "oh boy" that time when they played
"look what you made me do".

Dear Drew,
I rode by National Gallery of Art this afternoon
Where we had our first date in the middle of June
It was the day with the sky like your baby blue

I rode by your place on Vermont Avenue
But now autumn leaves flying around and blocked my view

Summer night running on the Mall
Trying to kiss you in front of Lincoln Memorial
Now I ride alone.

Dear Drew , Baby Blue
Were you happy with me, that I will never know
We have not spoken in a while

Dear God, can you take me back to June
When we first met and everything was in bloom.
When we were in West Virginia and cooped up in that hotel room.

Dear Drew, how are you
How do you like Indian food?
I told you we could not work out
and the reality finally beats us

We had each other, but now what am I holding onto?
Can we talk ?pleas say sure I'd love to.

My baby is back from Washington

But my heart is no longer intact

One is his;the other belongs to Luis

Oh, How could I?

Luis is prudent, you are a dreamer

Luis is younger, you are older

Luis is sincere, you are shy

You both has blue eyes.

Luis speaks my language, you only speak English

Luis is a Bachelor, you are a Doctor

Luis is shorter.You are both slim.

Luis is more serious, you are more humorous

You are both of high integrity .

But Luis is my love at first sight, you said(and play Tai Chi)(a good catch)

But MSB is your true love, remember?(and a poet and bass player)

Luis is too serious. MSB is too old for your age.

Luis is a Spanish that never says”Te Quiero”(how come?);

MSB is an American that only rides bicycle

I can’t come to you for my pain in the throat

But I can for the pain in my soul.

Perception is your prescription

Somehow I took too many dose

My pore my nostrils

Inflated with the onrush of ecstasy

It’s mistaken,

Curiosity should be the cure.

Today I found out not every encounter counts.
It is merely made up of  accidental meets.

We beautify it so that it becomes legendary,
As if life itself isn't.

Is it me or everybody that are too obsessed with
So called meant to be?

Encounter only counts if it is to be told,
For decades, for century.

Paddling through this vastness

I look at the ripples I made.

Floating and whirling,

Clanking and Clinking

Shelley, Wordsworth and Blake.

In the middle of the tranquility

I plunged into the blue

Oh, Arizona sun, you blinds me.

I see Thoreau as a token
You and my airplane ticket.

I never get it why you only declare your love for Thoreau
Instead of something darker, Hunter S Thompson,Marijuana
Or me.

Traveling in Denmark now, I guess you'll eventually head to the Netherlands.
Where your true colors shine through your eye socket.

Oh, so I still admire you
Dreaming of having a walk with you beside Walden
Having Arizona ice tea in the dessert

I beg Thoreau to win me an airplane ticket to
The unknown

He's probably the closest thing to love
I feel him in me.
I would love to be with him but now know that I don't have to.
Cause he's love and I feel him.
He's the closest thing to freedom
The view of clear blue sky from my caged life
His eyes.
He's the closest thing to sun,
Radiates and warms me up.
He's the closest thing to summer nights, liberated and fun.
He is love, he is freedom and the sun.
He's heartache, raindrops and rainbows after storms
He is the closest thing to my heart and a boyfriend.

Hey Joe
Inspired by Angels in America.

Oh Joe,oh Joe, I wish you’d have known,

Blue eyed boy, hair of gold

Where does your heart belong?

I love you dearly, and you love me so

Maybe we can pray the problem away

About our lukewarm ***

I should stop hallucinating,

Or are you in my imagination?

I still love you, gay or straight,

It’s too much for me to take.

The night you ran away with some random guy you met,

You are so in love again

It’s been three weeks and now you’re back

Begging me to stay

I wish I could be ruthless, and I did this time

"I will, but not now" I said.

It ended up like this:
First, please come in
OH, Thank you,please have a seat
Okay,(smile)
Blue eyes even bluer
You blush, big smile
They still got polaroid going?
Sure, Goodbye.(charm)

OH, this is nice of you
I really enjoyED it
Best luck
MSB.

I'm going to write a sonnet

About love, desperate attempt and jealousy

He walks like wind, wind from Grand Canyon

He talks like honey, honey sweeter than Canaan

His brows spread like hawk

His eyes streams like spring brook

What do I love about him?

Oh, nothing particularly

Maybe it's the way he listens

How his face glows with glistens

Maybe it's his passion

Enlighten my dark age prison

O captain My captain, sail me through tempest amid my heart

Guide me through the time we are apart

I looked at you with my misty eyes

Blurry minds and lingering thoughts.

Words don’t get through

They’re just syllables.

Poems are means to get to you

They serve as the path to eternity

I rue not to speak up again and again.

Blaming myself for things I haven’t done.

I look around and meet pairs of misty eyes,
Blurry minds and lingering thoughts.
Words don't get through,
They're just syllables.(for most of the people)


Poems are means to shed light on mysteries
They serve as the path to eternity
I rue not to speak up again and again
Blaming myself for things I haven't done.

In front of the Union Station on a cold December day,
were us sitting.

Watching people come and go, fallen leaves turn and twirl, travelers and tourists rushing along

We were having Potbelly sandwich, meatballs and chips
and it was only 40F degree.

You and me, with a homeless man on the fountain stairs
quietly eating

Winter sun was shinning , a warm 40F degree day for me

Winter in Washington, D.C.
Oh it was never too cold for me

Because I had you
Sharing chips with me.

I should stop obsessing over you
I tried.
I even made a boyfriend , for three months while you're away.
I thought now that you're out of my mind.
But just when I learned that you're coming back in January
All memories resurface as we were talking about work,and life.
You always say we are still young but i don't think so.
We are 25 Michael. 25. I should stop obsessing over you.
But i can't.so well, you know.

Heading to Italy tomorrow
For years, I've been waiting for this days to come
And I'm going to do what I've done in my dreams for thousand times: kiss the land like Pope when I land on the majestic land with gratefulness and humbleness
oh, Italia, shivering with excitement now,
don't belittle me, for I am one of the suckers for your charm.

Oh Ivan , I see you everywhere.
From here, there and anywhere.
A John, A Giovanni
I see you in words, in rhythms and the beam of sunlight
I see you in the sheer cold

With a name so usual, bears a smear of mystery
Saint,celebrity and nobody
You walk down the street wishing
you could be someone else
With this name you are everyone but stands from the crowd
Are you proud of being a Slavic variation or
You just want to be John anyhow?

Dear Ivan
Hear me say, except me, you belong to everybody else

You said you're leaving in July
No date, only a smile
Status unknown, missing flight
Could it be on this date this night?

I counted the days went by
Bidding adieu to tossing minds

Parting has always been hard for me
But seeing you is way more tougher
Reminiscing is my strongest suit
But I know one day I'll have to let go of you

One year and eleven months
Farewell, Sean.

You show up like phantom
In the night.

Over explanation,over zealous,over my head.

You being you,
I change with
weather,age and where you locate

I find your address,Eastlake
In your single apartment
I see you there in front of your walnut desk
with your lips sternly tight

Love letter to Rome:You have always been,and always will be my favorite city. Grand and magnificent like you,somehow you like me back.So many people have been desperately trying to approach you but I know they have failed.I selfishly know that I am the one for you even though you have thousands of mistresses who would like to throw their coins away in Fontana di Trevi and wait for hours to get into Vatican city.But I,standing in front of you can say that I am the luckiest,because I feel you through touches,winds,cobblestone roads,the roads to your past,and the people you nurtured.Like you,they took me in generously,they reach out,they communicate with me and embrace me.Rome,you may be everyone's heartthrob,you may be compared with thousands of glamorous cities,but don't forget I am the one who's always here praising you and adoring you for eternity.

We are 9 miles away from D.C.,
the eye of the storm on the twentieth.

The suburbia love we had,
storm- before- the -calm  kind of meeting we had on this chaotic day.

9 miles away is the city we love
It is a refuge for our boredom and our doomed relationship
On the metro ride, on the E street and somewhere near Farragut West
We watched small budget movies, had ice cream or playing with each others' hands fondly.

We are several blocks away from all the barricades,
So why don't we get in closer and go to Chinatown Coffee
and then wandering down the H street.

In the suburb,  I do not feel peace,
Because the storm is coming.
I'd rather go in the eye of the storm,with you
Where you fell for me.

This Capital love of ours , on the outskirts of D.C.
Where in a perfect world we would both live in,
like last time you told me on the way to E street.

Hey Spanish boy
Sapphire blue, doe-eyed
Maybe it's love at first sight
Button nose, cherry lips
Head of curls and voice of honey.(Too cheesy, almost like a nursery rhyme)

Do I always have to be heart broken to write something great?

Can I ever settle down without being bland?

All these guys I date, with whom I've shared a bed

either fuel up or dry down my energy to create.

Too many guys with names that start with M.

too many uncontrollable goodbyes that I hate.

Oh Matt you're one of them, one that I tried to hold onto ,
but in vain.

Life is life and no one knows what lies ahead, so for now,

I will just put my head on your chest,
then we can drink some tea and go to a play.

On that misty day we were walking through the traffic
Standing at the cross road just waiting
For the light to turn green

We walked and walked and saw a baby
I waved at him, he smiled back at me

We were talking with our Mcflurries on our knees
Sometimes I just buried my face in it pretend I was eating
I said something funny
You cracked up so much
Then you stared at me
I went back to eating

Mcflurries are melting so I gotta hurry
But I see that you're still staring at me
With a grin
I said What?You said Nothing!

We walked and walked and sat on a bench
Some old people were doing Tai-chi
We made out but don't want them to notice
I looked you in the eyes, you asked what?I said Nothing.

You asked me not to write you in my poems
But since I still have some Mcflurry left
Would you wanna share it?

Mr.Strickland reminds me of you.
If I were Blanche, I would do what she did too.
Like a sophisticated beast
Howling in the territory of yours
So primitive and so civilized.
In a cocoon weaved of solitude
Poor Blanche throws herself in the abyss
Swoon over your charm,
But you are lured by the Moon.

I don’t really love them,

They are tools to hide myself from maturity

Today I split them aside

Now there’s a brand new me

Facing you with more sensuality

More biting fingers

and more contemplating

I feel like I could be everything,

your almost-married partner

The angel in the house

Or sweetheart from college.

I already have certain years
that constitute my life
CT, MA to NY

All the tiny things I did
Shape me into this version of me
Writing on a laptop at night

Yes, I feel like
I have seen enough things
Done a lot, good at being broken- hearted
Maybe could've broken more hearts.

Truth is, probably not.
I learn to accept fate as they come
Yes, sometimes I try to veer it towards the way I want

But life is never about
Achieving what you want
Rather, use the things you got
And turn it into everlasting , mesmerizing
Splendid sparks.

Am I cheesy being only 26?
Or you're sneering at me,
Ha you're not that young?

I look up for a sign and an inspirational quote
To only see myself in the mirror smiling back
and the past ghosts at the end of the tunnel

He said he does not want a relationship
I said I don't want my future baby to have ugly teeth
He said he will marry me for a million
But I said I don't want our baby to go to Harvard
He said, ***** Harvard!What about Princeton?

They say boys like nice girl
Do you?
I assume you like it somewhere in between
But tilt to bad a little bit
Just like the other day when I was choosing between
Black and White lingerie
Black wins
You blushed when mentioning that thing
But I saw you staring at those
Legs.Literature is your camouflage
Mini skirts are your sanctuary

They say blue- eyed people are smarter
Are you?
I have brown ones but I bet I could still
Make you a fool

There’s no place, for you

To land a hand

Even when I’m desperate

No place for your propaganda,

Because I’ve already been brainwashed by

All your ideology of Beat generation

You made it , congratulation, but you should ask:

How do I know find out about your scheme?

Well, you teach me on thing:

Inscrutability leads to plausibility.

He is a boy with an all American look
But his heart is always somewhere else
He plays football in high school
Not a captain but always steals the show
O, Michael

He comes from a suburb of Detroit
Dreaming of going to Ford Field
but only for a little little while
He goes to Red Wing's game with his dad and bro
O boy from the North,  Michael

He studies Psychology at college
That's why he always reads through me
He loves to talk he loves to sing
but he never kissed me on my lips
O, Michael

Can you send me a message
just telling me how you have been?
How's the weather in China and how's everything?
Do you like the food there?or have you met any girls
that praised you on your look?

I will graduate in two weeks, thanks for asking.
How much I hope you can be here with me.
If you were here, we could go to that newly open place on Baltimore Ave
I guess you might like it, it looks like Honey&Milk.
Is my address still in your Google Map, and is my number there still?

How's your mom and your grandma?
Did Amy get over her heartbreak?
Well how did you know that the teenage love she had wasn't real?
Three months later here I am
Trying to deny my love for you.
O, Michael.
When are you coming back?
Michael.

You are a poet, a musician and everything

When you smile it’s sonnet 18

When you frown it’s dark ambient to me.

When you pause and bury your head in the book

I would caress your hair like zither

Sing an ode to your soul

Your pale long fingers, fragile and bossy

Manipulate strings and words and minds easily

Slap me, pop me and shape me please.

First it was drizzling rain,
You can only observe the drops from particular angels
Smell the freshness of the dirt and suffocating humidity
Then it's thunderstorm,
Walking alone singing melancholic songs
And it's shower, I let droplets drip down my face
Dibble dibble ,sha la la

Before I know you
You are already there,de facto
But to me, you didn't exist

Now I know you
You know me
We coexist

But before you know me
I was't even there in your mentality

We are both present and absent from reality
It all boils down to quantum mechanics.

Sean, crystal blue

Sean, misty hue

Sean, delicate dew

Sean, eternal muse

fragrant than frankincense

assuaging than myrrh

Dearer than gold.

Summer came , summer goes
The heat shrouding still
I abhor the upcoming cold
Which deprives my
Joy,vigorousness and skimpy shorts

I'll have to wait for another year to
Cautiously bathe myself in the sunlight
While you skip dipping in Adriatic sea

Oh, the Sun in Zagreb,
You
Greeting summer into your doorsteps
Stealing golden ray to embellish the handcrafted box you made

Autumn comes and it will go
Fear not for the winter but for my brewing hope.

My love,

I love you for being pure, pure like a breath of fresh air in a sizzling day

I love you for being innocent, innocent like a baby just born

I love your grandeur ,stands like a tree yet speaks like silk

I love your wisdom,witted and cheerful.

I love your halo, shining with thy glow.

I can’t imagine the days without you, my muse and my bread

Farewell, Farewell.

It's not even romantic
But I'm going to write a poem of every boy I met.Not romantic,
It's not that I had met a lot of men.

On that morning
you played ukulele,
I sang along with the lyrics
Creep, Blur,anything

The morning light shined through your squinted eyes
I can still see the dust swirling, dancing in front of the sun-bathed face of yours.
Naive,friendly,happily
We were singing to each other
The other two are non-existence.

You are so warm, comfortable to be around with
A Belarusian boy ,aspiring to speak good Chinese.
You paint, you cooked and made desserts
Always at ease at hitchhiking
through Kazakhstan and China

I felt that you secretly want to try to escape from what you had
from Belarus to Czech, then to this mysterious Eastern world, a bit communist.
And then to Taiwan.

This is for you Ilya, a friend for only a day and night.
You're too delicate for me to handle as you have
skin like milk and heart of seven seas
Smile like a 5 year old in a swing.

The infatuating smile you got
On this spring day.
Capricious like you, London.

I can't stop myself from
Stumbling back to you.

The things unsaid, the poems unread
A thin lipped man like you, full beard suits you the best.

Ah, the beard,dotted with white snow flakes
my hearts skips for this fickle spring day.