Many men wait until Death
is staring down at them
in their beds before
they make the effort
to change their ways.
Then they insist that this
makes their lives meaningful,
as if Death should take pity.
     For me, Death was a woman
and my bed a grave of guilt.

I get nervous when she comes my way,
her cigarette smoking in the glass ashtray.
My reflection in her emerald eyes,
I wonder what the look stretched across her face implies.
She's the kind to make me lie awake
contemplating what's to gain from this
and what is at stake.

She's known love at least once before,
and the feeling is one which she can't ignore.
It's a sentiment we both must share
judging by the way my fingers move through her hair.
But my heart is ******* in knots.
A good love is just that -- good,
until it's not.

By now I know you're hungry
for your god,
and not the painted porcelain face
hanging on the cross
above your doorframe.

You want more now that you're
struggling,
a voice that you have conjured
in the mind you know
he gave you,

an image blended from
your idols,
arms you once learned love in,
eyes you never from which
could part.

But that's the best you'll get,
and a shame
no one told you sooner.
An idea of faith or
more like
a dream of salvation.

Starved.

Dear lady with your diamonds,
dear woman with your pearls,
dear girl with your mother's pills,
dear baby with your curls,
is there one out here among us
who is worthy of your world?
Is there one out here among us
for whom your heart's reserved?

With your voice like bells
and your eyes like Mars,
in your purple coat
and your gown of stars,
would you ever lower
the window of your car
and point me to
your door?

In a breeze you fluttered,
like a feather in a storm,
into my weary mind
in such flawless form
and you raised your banner
around which I conform.
But you didn't even know me,
did you?

You can call it being a Christian,
I'll call it fiction,
tradition
in need of revision.
You get your scripture on your television
and at night on your knees
in the fetal position,
praying to a god who you tell me is jealous.
The whole premise,
the practice,
the promise is selfish.
And a wafer and wine
is the flesh and the blood?
What?
The grail to me sounds like
a diamond **** cup.
On your knees for the prodigal son,
altar boy walks by and now your
tunic's undone?
Let my verse be
the nail in your wrist
and truths I speak
the coin in your dish.

Somewhere, a brother's
not a brother for real,
who'd rather his little brother's
innocence steal.

In the middle of the pale blue light,
I close my eyes and see, in black and white,
pictures of us laughing in the night
when we were young at heart.

Music stutters from my stereo.
Voices crawling through the small window
telling me I better say hello
before we drift apart.

Fine,
I'm as awful as you say
and I just get in the way
when you're stretching out
your wings.

But,
did you ever stop to think
that you're the missing link
in this chain that you
have made?

Yes,
the one that keeps you down
like the corners of your mouth
when a smile is trying to
come out.

So,
just before you turn me loose,
I ask you to think of whose
fault this is and what's
to gain.

Sometimes when I lie
half awake in the night
the streetlights take
the form of your face.
The way that they twist
and they turn and they kiss.
But I wont settle for this
cold embrace.

So I'm here on all fours
feeling 'round for the door.
Gotta see you once more.
Please be soon,
'cause I'm tired of being
trapped under this ceiling
or starin' outside
at the moon.

One more hour in your arms
is all that I need to feel warm.
One last kiss and I'm gone
and I won't bother you anymore.

Do you still remember
that day in November
when I held your hand
in the park?
The light danced around you,
I was happy I found you.
Tell me, how did it end up
so dark?

Now I'm talking to shadows,
wond'rin' where does the time go?
I don't know, but I
waste too much.
If you want to ignore me,
it's prob'ly best for me.
I'm a fool and I acted
as such.

But if you find your heart changes,
if your hate rearranges
into something that I'll recognize,
don't brush it away, girl.
Find something to say, girl,
and we can begin to revise.

One more hour in your arms
is all that I need to be warm.
One kiss is all that it takes
to make all the light shine
once more.

It seems to me that I've
got myself a situation.
The girl I love doesn't even
know that I exist.
The more I think, the closer
I get to a revelation -
when she's away I'll write
my name down on her grocery list.

Even though we sleep
beside each other every night,
she doesn't reach for me. In turn,
I never reach for her.
I try my best to justify it,
but it isn't right.
The hardest thing to do
seems to be the only cure.

Maybe when I'm gone she'll
see the error of her judgment.
Maybe she'll be sorry when
I ain't walking through the door.
They say that time heals all wounds,
but maybe it doesn't.
At least she'll think of me
when she's shopping at the store.

I used to think that all I wanted
was someone to love me,
someone to give me all their
warmth and trust and sympathy.
The more I sit here in this
empty room beside a window,
the more I realize that that
kind of life ain't meant for me.

I'm making friends with all the
shadows climbing on my rooftop,
and I hear music in the leaves
that rustle in the wind.
And I dont need no pity, girl,
I kinda like the struggle.
Like feeling 'round for the doorknob
when the lights are dimmed.

Each day someone will call and
offer me a new solution,
and while I do respect the
depths of their true concern,
they have to realize solitude
and silence both are virtues -
but that's a lesson that I
hope they never need to learn.

When I got to heaven, lord,
dont ya know there was
no one there.
So I tipped my hat,
turned 'round and walked
back down the stairs.
Yeah, this world's full o' sinners,
but I was just too lonely there.

I could've had religion, now.
Could've read the good book
every night.
Could've been a preacher,
said my prayers and
chased the light.
Instead I went chasin' trouble.
Guess religion didn't suit me right.

They say every livin' man, now,
sooner or later,
has his day.
And it could come tomorrow,
or it could come when you're
old and gray.
I didnt think much about it.
I just kept doin' things my own way.

So when I got to heaven, now,
dont ya know there was
no one there.
So I tipped my hat.
Tipped my hat and walked
back down the stairs.
Yeah, this world's full o' sinners,
but I was just too lonely there.

Gunshot, blood pool,
black body, yellow tape,
white chalk, white cop.
"White America."

Tattoos, white hood,
tight rope, black hearse,
red flag, white stars.
"White America."

Blue sky, black sun,
bluebird, blue song,
black stripe, white light.
"White America."

Blue lips, white teeth.
"White America."
Red brick, green grass
"White America."
White coat, black button.
"White America."

I just don't know how people do it.
Wake up and work for a living
just to pay hospital, insurance,
utility, student bills
like there's nothing to it,
and then go to bed
with no scary thoughts beating
like cold rain through their heads.
Every day is a struggle between
either myself and the world or
myself and time or
myself and myself,
and it takes every drop of will
that I have to not reach for
the bottle, the pipe, on the shelf.
I just don't know how people,
some people, most people, it seems,
can live any better than that.
Like the one percent sitting
on top of the world looking
down, hysterically laughing
at those who have to work,
who breaks their
backs and necks and minds
trying to make something last
longer than a few ******* days.
Sure, there's beauty in the world,
but you gotta pay to look at it.
And even then, you aren't allowed
to just grab it and take it,
put a sign on it and make it yours.
Someone's already claimed
all you hold dear.
You're just stuck borrowing.

I've been dreamin' up my own hell.
I've been ringin' Satan's doorbell.
Just makin' sure that I'm prepared.
Don't wanna get there and be scared.

Nobody likes you when you're
down and out.
They'd rather see you smile.
Nobody talks to me when I'm
feelin' blue,
but baby, happy's goin' out of style.

I see the sun is grinnin'
in my face.
People just pass me by.
Nobody there to give
the time of day.
So tell me, why do I even try?

The phone is ringin', but it
ain't for me.
My doorbell must be broke.
Am I this lonely when
it comes down to it,
or is this just one big joke?

Nobody likes you when you're
down and out.
They'd rather see you smile.
Nobody talks to me when I'm
feelin' blue,
but baby, happy's goin' out of style.

I shut the windows and turn
off the light,
crawl into my bed.
I guess that I could call this
girl I know,
but she'd prob'ly rather sleep instead.

And in the mornin' pour
myself a cup.
Talkin' to the wall.
I think I'll curl up
beside my cat, read a book and
have myself a ball, 'cause

Nobody likes you when you're
down and out.
They'd rather see you smile.
Nobody talks to me when I'm
feelin' blue,
but baby, happy's goin' out of style.

Said, Nobody likes you when you're
down and out.
They'd rather see you smile.
Nobody talks to me when I'm
feelin' blue,
but baby, happy's goin' out of style.

I've been told that
if I see something beautiful
(a flower, for instance),
I should leave it alone,
let it grow and bloom.
But, I'm only human,
and I've spent a long time
holding on to nothing.
So I say pick the flower,
hold it, smell it, love it,
and stop wasting your life
wanting something that is
right before your eyes.

The beauty of two hearts
beating in warm synchronicity,
     a pair of hands clasped,
prayer-like, electric
between them.
     Two heads touching
at the temples,
thoughts filtered like
sand through fingers.
     Two eyes meeting
like spark and kindling,
     two flames climbing
under a blue-dark sky.
     Two stars shining like
the smile she wore
when you first met.

Rise with the sun.
Shake dreams from your head,
my sweet one.
Breathe deeply,
taste the possibilities.
Speak with the angels
as if you were one.

Bring me your problems,
put 'em in a basket.
I can answer your question
before you even ask it.
I can't walk on water,
I ain't from Galilee,
but baby, just have
a little faith in me.

You might look at me and think,
"Who have you now become?"
And you might talk to me and wonder
what lies are rolling off my tongue
You could see me in a year
and not believe how much I've grown.
But to you, I'll always be
the same one you've always known.

Even when your eyes are shut,
you know the feeling that I bring.
Familiar like a mother's touch,
or the notes morning birds sing.
And even though the words may change,
it's the same soft humble tone
that swells into a melody -
the one you've always known.

I know sometimes you must expect
a change in me for good.
And even though I fight it then,
deep down I know I should.
But understand, I'm just afraid
I'll break the threads we've sewn.
I cling to you, hold on to me,
the boy you've always known.

I've spent so much time
thinking of you
that I don't know who
I really am now.
I've spent all this time
promising
that I'll change, but
I dont know if I can now.

Everything is happening
in cycles.
One minute were laughing,
and next we cry.
And all I've had with me
to see me through
are friends who sport
a hungry eye.

No wonder you don't see that change is going on inside of me.
No wonder you don't feel loved.
How could I when you're killing me?

Would you dig a tunnel to me -
one that's wide enough for you -
so you can reach me through this distance?
Prove to me I matter, too.

And would you walk from end to end,
in the dark and all alone,
just to touch me one more time,
or see just how much I have grown?

I have laid a road to you.
Many times I've wandered on it.
I can never find the end.
I guess I'm just a hypocrite

There's a girl from Ohio.
She's only searchin' for true love,
but her hands are tied
to the whipping post
in the town square
where she grew up.

And there's a boy
who lives next to her.
He walks past her nearly every day.
But he thinks that she's
lost her little mind,
so he just turns from her
and walks away.

Her father is a minister,
and her mother is a ghost now.
She never learned to say hello,
but she prob'ly wouldn't anyhow.

Well, there's a girl from Ohio.
She's only searchin' for true love,
but her hands are tied
to the whipping post
in the town square
where she grew up.

Now her tears mix
with the raindrops
fallin' on top of her.
Her heart's caving
like a cabin roof,
and you know
there's no saving her.

And you can hear her
moaning in the night
if you bend your ear
to her, hear her yell.
And even though you
don't know her name,
you know her story
all too well.

And there's a girl from Ohio.
She's only searchin' for true love,
but her hands are tied
to the whipping post
in the town square
where she grew up.

Sunset colors drip down the walls.
Pools of sunlight splash.
Solitude is overwhelming
when you have no hash.

In ancient times, you once were mine,
and we were queen and king.
The jesters all sang songs for us,
and gifts did royals bring.
I held your hand,
walked through the land
while people smiled at us.
We never spoke an angry word,
content with all there was.

But soon enough, Jealousy
let himself into our gate.
And riding close behind was Lust
and Lonliness and Hate.
They rode into our castle then,
and took your hand from mine.
And rushing you away with them,
they spilled all of our wine.

I gathered up my forces,
20,000 banners blew.
Rallying behind our love,
we went in search of you.
We must've marched 1,000 miles
before I heard your voice -
much unlike the one I knew,
little more than just a noise.

I spied you in a tower high,
chained in your misery.
The subtleties of love, to you,
were just a mystery.
Then I resolved to break the walls
that kept you there from me.
So many died, and tears were cried,
but there was victory.

And now I have here, built for you,
a tower of my own.
I'll keep you there within my sight
as I sit on my throne.
And the walls that are surrounding us
are strong and high and true -
a symbol of our victory
and my love for you.

I'm in love with you,
     and that's why this breeze
     blows for me.
     It's why the trees
     shake their leaves,
     why the sun peeks
     around the horizon,
     and why the moon rises
     and let's fall her silver
     light on me.
I'm in love with you,
     and it's why the river
     flows through this -
     as blood through
     lover's veins,
     as sweat on binded lips,
     as rain on buried roots
     (the fruit of which
     grows strong and sweet).
   I'm in love with you,
  and if again we ever meet,
 I will leave for you a gift,
though none as great as these.

Please don't get upset
when I tell you I've been drinking.
It's the only thing to do
that'll keep my mind from thinking
of the day we split apart
just as the sun had started sinking.
But I think I see it coming up, yet.

And please don't ask me how
I let the passion pass away
when you were always the only one
who could brighten up my day.
These kinds of questions have no answers.
Ain't there something else to say?
Just say it to me, here and now.

I know you think about me
when you lie awake in bed.
But you've got too much pride to call,
you just go to sleep instead.
And that's why when I see you now
it's lightly I must tread.
My whole wide world is hanging by a thread.

All sinners are born here,
and it's where the good come to die.
Somehow I've made a life here,
and I left another one behind.
Yeah, I left a better one behind.

You told me to pack it up,
and I kicked the dust and went away.
Seems weird just being here
while you're so far away.
Yeah, you're so **** far away.

The things that you say to me
are getting harder to hear each day.
But I must say I'm lonely,
and I'd love if you'd come to stay.
So why dont you come and stay?

I forgot that you hate me now,
so what's a person like me to do?
And I forgot how hard it is
to love someone who don't love you.
I love someone and that someone's you.

All sinners are born here,
and it's where the good come to die.
Somehow I've made a life here,
and I left another one behind.
Yeah, I left a better one behind.

I have died a thousand lives
trying to love you,
and I will live a thousand deaths
until I have the chance again.

we got bored
so we got together.
now all we talk about's
the past and the weather.

If you made a mistake,
     I would take you back.
I'd forgive you
     to spare you some shame.
     So can't you see past
     any judgment I lacked,
     and please, for love's sake,
do the same?

I can hear her singing,
that's how I know she's home.
'Hotel California' to her
man who's on the phone.
But when he hangs it up
she'll be all alone,
sitting pretty, feeling lonely,
drawing little pictures of him.

And she doesn't know it,
but I get lonely, too.
Each time I do I hide myself
inside and drink her perfume.
Then after it's all gone
I paint my ceiling blue,
light another cigarette and
sit there with the curtains pulled.

You knew it, I knew it,
I blew it all in front of you.

Don't do it. I'll do it.
Just ***** it up like I do.

It's true, it is true that
it's you, O how I wish I knew.

Light another cigarette and
sit behind these curtains, blue.

I can feel you reaching across
miles and miles and miles.
I can see you in the sun casting
smiles and smiles and smiles.
I can taste you, and it's new
like I were still a child.
Yes, after all this lonely time,
you're still driving me wild.

Will I meet you?
Will my eyes see you again?
Will I greet you
like I did O, when, O, when
I first met you
and my eyes were closed on you?
Will I greet you
with arms open, open?

Woman,
I know it is
killing you -
the quiet -
because it is
killing me, too.

The moment
you told me that
we were through,
I got lost,
and now it's all that
I can do -

to be humbled
by the thought
of loving you -
to be angry
at what I thought I
needed to do -
to be happy
with being just one,
no longer two.

we don't sleep much around here.
the nights are too precious to squander.
we wander streets and alleys,
fields and fairways, looking at the moon,
begging the sun to never come up again.
drunk in our ways, in our loves and hates,
feeling with broken fingers
for broken hearts to mend.
when we find one, we keep it hidden.
we shut off the lights to make love,
moon dangling above our pillows,
smoke billowing out the window
to show we are done.
and we don't sleep much around here.
we make secrets of ourselves.

Taking it slow, now.
No sudden movements or I
might come to love you.

I got a hole in my pocket,
hole in my heart,
hole in the wall, man.
I'm falling apart.
They say that a woman
can ruin a man,
but he can ruin himself
fast as she can.

My head's been pounding,
my head's hung low,
my head's in the grinder.
It's all I know.
She's miles away,
but she's turning the wheel.
I'd write her a letter,
but she knows how I feel.

This other one calls me.
This other one shoves me.
Another one hates me
much as another one loves me.
But I won't have it,
need to love myself.
Take all these old pictures
off of my shelf,

Forget about women,
forget about money,
forget about love
eat my bread with some honey.
She might give me bad dreams,
but I believe I'll be fine.
Told her, "I'll be in your dream
if you'll be in mine."

Got broken up with today.
Expect poetry soon.

We periscoped through the flowers,
eyes white and wide with
childish wonder,
the color of our petals painted gold,
flashing wildly under beams of sunlight flaring through the leaves,
threatening to fall only too soon.
     Aye, but not us, not then,
for we were in bloom
and it was summer,
and the season proclaimed our love,
and our love the season.
But to look upon that sweet scene,
as would a ****** in the valley,
would be to recognize at once
the folly of a boy
in the presence of the flora.
For what was I to give
when all you wanted was before you?

Say, pretty baby,
won’t you climb aboard this train with me?
Now, now, now, pretty honey.
Don’t think twice just come along.
It’s been a long time coming,
and we’re sure to be a long time gone.

When I got up this morning,
heard the whistle when the train got in.
Yeah, when I woke up this morning,
heard the train as it rolled in.
And I knew it was gonna be a good day.
I’ll pick you up quarter to ten.

Well, your daddy, he done left you.
Left you in that pourin’ rain.
And your momma, she’s no good, child.
Causes you all kinds of pain.
But me, I always been there for ya.
Come along and your heart won’t ache again.

You’re just workin’ day and night.
No friends to call your own.
Workin’ as a waitress day and night
with no friends to call your own.
Don’t you know I’ll be your friend, girl?
I’ll be whatever and you won’t have to feel alone.

Well, I see your got your dress on.
And, yes, I’ll take that as a sign.
Yeah girl I see you got your hair up.
I will take that as a sign
that we’re headed to Chicago.
I’m glad you made up your pretty mind.

Say, pretty baby,
I sure am happy you’re here with me.
O, yes little darlin’,
you made my day shine oh so bright.
Not much longer though, my baby.
We’ll get there ‘fore the end of the night.

You can find me in the newspaper -
"Don't get too close,
this one's insane."
Yeah, you can read me in the paper.
"Don't get too close,
that boy's insane."
Didn't take me long to figure out
that the one's who wrote it
barely know my name.

Go ask the one's who used to hang around,
I'm sure they'll tell you some and more.
Go ask they one's who used to hang around me.
I'm sure they'll tell you some and more.
Sure, we had good times together,
but now when I see 'em coming
I lock the door.

Most of what you hear is a rumor,
the rest is really just a bore.
Baby, most of the talks are rumors,
and I promise the rest is just a bore.
Way I see it, there's two options:
believe them, or stick around
if you wanna know for sure.

Someone said to me once
that "you have to have empathy
to be a true poet."
     You have to have empathy
to be a true person.
I said that.

They say when I die
there's a place I'll go
where every face
will be one I know.
Some call it heaven,
and I hope it's true.
But what paradise
compares to you?

I was just a lonely
little bag of bones,
but you took me with you,
gave me a home.
Each word you spoke then,
like a breath of spring -
your lovely laughters,
and the joys they bring.

You say I'm funny
for the way I feel,
the things I say,
glances I steal.
But you don't know just
what it is like
to lie beside you,
in bed at night

to feel the beating
of your precious heart,
to see you rising
at each day's start.
I'll take you with me
whenever I go
so lost is a feeling
I won't have to know.

And when I die
there's a place I'll go
where every face
will be one I know.
And I'll call it heaven.
It can be our new
little bed to lie in.
Just me and you.