Frozen in frivolity,
Each passing moment is a wisp,
A time forgotten to be missed.
Yet the days pass, and the nights stretch,
The joys fade, and the darkness grows.

Each day, I start with a fresh pain;
Each night, I end with less hope.
When your bucket leaks, you collect only sand.
When your spigot drips, you collect only mist.
When your pipes rust, you collect only dust.
When your land dies, you collect only ash.

At times I let the reels win,
I let the picture play.
I believe it’s a story,
A script played out by others.

At times I let the art win,
I let the paint brush away.
I believe it’s a story,
A canvas painted on by others.

At times I let the words win,
I let the pen ink dry.
I believe it’s a story,
A novel inked in by others.

At times I know the deeds win,
I let the demons stay
I see it’s my story,
A hell made for no others.

Awake against the air.
Living in languishing lies of life

Existing outside their realms
These beached whales crave the waves

Watching from sleep stolen tears
These floating faces move without me

Without a wink, time slips by
Dazed in a dream of doubt

Where does the reality begin
And tragic nightrealms end

Deepest desires for lost love
Burn against the raging rain

The well crumbled
The dam broke

Dragon worms of tears
Gush round riverbends
Where life has dried out

Splatter and spray
An explosion on repeat

Chilled and shiver
A barrel on temple

Each piece squishes and sloshes
Fairy dust of the soul between fingers

Gears clicks and Metal grinds,
We lock and load the final pill

It plays and runs
A never ending cycle of death.

Or is it the cycle of life?
A perfect peace in a flash.

Answers never given
From a voice forever silenced

This glitch will haunt me behind
My eyes even in sleep

Begone!
I cast you out!

It should be the other
The evil one can eat cake

You! O, being of purity and joy!
You bring hell and it’s greatest torture!

Take your wings, your master's wishes
And let me sleep.

I rage against the light!
Scream at the sun!

Take your protection, your assigned life
And let me fade.

For if I die before I wake
I pray my heart, my mind to take.

If you do the lords work
Then take the thought and leave the rest

Now I in weeping
See my hell
Brought by visions
Of heaven I forsook.

Honestly, I weep.
Each tear fallen for the mistake
That cursed choice

I cannot sleep
Each blink flashed for the tear
That marred memory

On repeat these beats play
Marching my heart back in place
Teaching me the truth again

I have held fast
Each blast bested for the future
That putrid place

I watched aghast
Each scar payed for the crime
That ****** debt

The worst repeats today
Matching the starts lack of space
Reaching out in utter silence

No amount of words
No surpassing age
Will sunder this sadness

No amount of hope
No consuming fear
Will drive out this pain

Without… Ive been pretty

Harsh light still casts shadows,
Some never seen,
But always felt.

Darkness too often is stuck in the sight,
But the deepest I know lives in the light.

A Howl,
Distant but fair.
A Howl,
Prickles fine hair.

It is ethereal
It is sweet
Repeated in time,
It follows the beat.

Will it be empty?
Will it be cold?

Visions of choking stillness.
Visions of growing puddles.

This sacred place.
This capsule of love.
This shared space.

Will it scream,
While I dream?
Will it cry,
While I die?

Will we consume one another?

.
Slick, slack, sock,
With a withering wandering walk.
It clings and sings,
Against the stings,
Along the fog of smog.

Fond fuzzy fluff,
Soft soothing stuff
A wiggle, a puff,
A slip, a sizzle, a *****

Legs break and shake,
The world wakes and quakes
Yet we three, are free
Against the wall and waves
Of shock.

This is the time to give:

Eyes to look
Eyes to read

Ears to listen
Ears to hear

Hands to make
Hands to write

Voice to speak
Voice to sing

Heart to help
Heart to heal

Yourself to another
Yourself for another

Dreams have become me.
The only allowed plain.

To escape in dreams seemed lazy
I judged those that lived like this.

Take the bull by the horns.
Make destiny bow to you.

These are subconscious
These are naive.

Now dreams are where I find love
They are where I find confidence.

They are full stories
Shade from a scorching pain.

I drift and dread the dawn.
It brings shame and endless sorrow.

For a moment I can have joy,
For a minute I can be free.

One escape, one door.
Inside lies a closet.
It is dark, ***** and dank.

Not an exit.
Not a haven.
It is only a breath.

Hide without pain here
Under the concrete jugular
Among the dusty antiques.

No promises of peace
No hope of future
Only a chance at air

Drinking needles

Sneezing nails

What a meal!

Grazing glass

Snorting sand

Encore!

Licking razors

Sniffing teeth

Glorious vapors we feast again!

The words are gone yet I still dream,
Of the nights filling with color,
Laughter holding hearts open,
Passion pulling one to another

Cycles now broken
Kisses now dry
Sheets now empty
Cries not quiet nor fine

You lie on a slab of infinite tears
Your voyage is paid by love.
Tell the ferryman your body will pass
But your heart belongs here

You will be hated
Tormented through time

Importance granted
Debt to be paid

Leech, your meal will end
Not another free drop

Your abuse and hate seen
My tolerance burnt

Now listen or don’t
Your reaping has come

I will name you
Christen you:

Blight

Time to write
Time to talk

No wasted effort
No wasted breath

Dusting off
Standing up

Less trash
Less tears

This time I **** my fears

With what wish would win
Soft silky sighs soaking sin?

Dirt beneath the nails
Heads beneath the hairs

With scent and with moan
With claws and with purr

Misty visage with a filled bed
Yet it could not be emptier.

How much sand can replace blood
Before life dries out and crumbles?

It burns,
The decaying heart within.
It eats,
A maggot feasting eternal

Love is not a gift
It consumes
Love is not a gift
It destroys

Yet we mortal plebs
Crave it and suckle every drop from another
We hopeless vagrants
Waste away within our addictions

Curse you!
With love!

Curse you!
With smiles!

Curse you!
With laughter, *** and sighs!

Curse you!
With my dying breath.

No curses of hate can I make as I say goodbye.

5 till curtain
5 till my character rises again
5 till they spill my guts
5 till smiles hide death

Thank you 5
I hate you 5

Watch the wild winds of a whipsy whim
Courage
Cure for the caged coward covering care
Valor
Value validates the victim of violence
Patience
Paint pride in the presence of perturbed people

A wind
A ghostly breeze
Kissing stone foreheads
Before screaming
In my ear

The prize
The prize
That was not the prize

There is a hot sting not to wear gold
Nor silver, nor copper, nor soft satin

There is a gnawing hunger
Not to gain,
Check,
Dollar,
Nor nickel.

But
The prize
The prize
Those were not the prize

I crave that first voice
That tongue dancing my song
Those lips kissing my ink
Those teeth chewing in ecstasy
The words I wrote
Just me

The rain wont come
The thirst all consuming.
Like the Earth’s jaw,
Crushing pressure
Bears down
From memories
Of sweet waters.

Like a sot you cling to my memory.
No one cares to clean the grime
Building on the walls.
What a welcoming dream,
The home I offer.
The open-air travels
Through paper-thin walls
With the ease of a valley.
Drizzle, drizzle
Over me.
Ash and chalk
Mark the shape of my mouth.
A distant echo of a crack
And my arm goes numb.

When she blinks her magical eye,
The one that rolls and slides, It flickers a flutter a silk soft shudder,
A baby local goodbye.

The raging roars quiet
The shuffling seas foam.

This is the warrior
whom made me her king.

A ranger,
a wizard,
a watcher,
a rogue.
A queen’s amen
A king’s soft sigh.

Trigger the trusted,
the twisted,
the kind.
A quicker fault facer
with a softer inside.
No royal master
From earth is seen.

A sniggle,
a snuggle,
a snort,
a snore.

Dust sparkles against blinking lights,
Casting their colors against empty grays.
Twinkling they quickly dissolve,
Their second of brilliance.
The mascots of this fleeting art.

The silence is filled with whispers,
Of long forgotten lines and songs.
The dead soliloquy left on the floor.
Waiting for another to warm its blood.
How many lay on this painted floor?

Colors will open caskets,
Solos will steal bright smiles
Replace them with gnawing pain
Harmony will hearken hope
Teach the *******.

Soon, the overstuffed chairs will fill
With hungry eyes ready to judge.
Tonight, they will leave gorged,
Gasping for air and looking for liquid relief.
The life coming is full and ready.

The faint sounds are building.
The actors are warming their voices.
The musicians are tuning their strings.
While I flip switches, open lines,
And brace to harness the flow.

I want to be anything
Criminal stealing hope
Saint giving peace
Tyrant breaking skulls

Anything to vanish
To escape this flesh
Forget the trauma
Dissolve the fingerprints
Leave tears behind


Bars of nerves and veins
Walls dripping blood clots
Floors of rotting black gelatin

A bleeding heart
is neither blessing
Nor curse
Simply a purgatory
For the weak fool

Beauty has been murdered by my hand.
Every feature disgusts and appalls me.

I have strung my own noose,
Stepped through the loop.
I stand ready
For you
To kick
My stool

The fake world speeds communication
Yet quickly sends sin and the devil too.

I stand a ****
And a harlot
Unworthy
Of your sweet perfection.

A hero
A god
A king
Things I never will be

My place is set
My destiny cast
There is no motion
Not a fight, nor a chance

I will live
I will breathe
I will choke
I will die
As this meaningless
Vision of a guy

Tongue tied with the taste of tar and turpentine.
The sugar sacrifices its sweetness against that wall in vain.
Body aches as the tasty toxins travel to places
It was never meant to touch.

Yet, I take more.
More, more, more,
Hoping that dank,
*****,
disgusting saliva
Can be washed away.
All that remains,
Again and again
Is ash.

When pressed my hairs tickle,
But perceive the distance
Of a sea from the soft source.
Even the delicate distraction of touch
On the private *****
Projects a subtle pain.

All that is wanted is the desire,
To have and hold.
Tormented and tainted
Seen as tattered and torn.
Promptly tossed away like trash.
Muffled and mangled comes
The voice of a meager modest monster
Of a man.

It rains
Torrents of thunder
Hitting glass

It rains
Fingers of pleasure
Hitting skin

It rains
Kisses of moonshine
Hitting earth

It rains
Monsters of terror
Hitting fear

It rains
Waves of peace
Hitting hearts

It rains
Whispers of love
Hitting scars

It rains
Colors of wonder
Hitting metal

It rains
Drizzles of clouds
Hitting hairs

It rains
Daggers of death
Hitting hope

It rains
Sprinkles of silence
Hitting drums

She is sultry ash
In a smoky darkness.
Her voice pulls at my spirit,
Deep and seductively rattles
The chains around my wrists.
The red silk sheets flutter
In eerie circles of downlight.

Why does she hide in the shadows?

“Come to me.”
Slips that warm shiver
Up my pin pricked spine.
My breath escapes
Broken from below
Hailing the gods
Without a sound.

Darkness drips over this dream
Song is stripped from the air.
I hear nothing,
See silence,
Feel cold sweat run the length.
At a snap,
My throat is freed.
I sob.

It is a tumor, a cancer, spreading within
It leads me to stop and quickly give in.
It is a fear, a fight, an attack without sin
It is a tumor, a cancer, waiting to begin

It is an insect, a bug, eating my skin
It gnaws, chews and swallows again.
It is a hornet, a thorn, a venom akin.
It is an insect, a bug, drinking me in.

It is a shriek, a scream, yelling herein
It wails, bellows a terrible shrill din
It is a banshee, a siren, a death grin
It is a shriek, a scream, breaking me in.

I taste you.
The drops of your being
Sweet on my tongue

I hear you
The waves of your voice
Swirl in my ear

I see you
The vision of your eyes
Drifts in my mind

Yet there is no touch
No smell
You are not here
Nor there
You have slipped beyond
The cage

I seem to grow in ever direction,
With new branches sprouting from every pore
They do not need the sun
To be true,
They grow faster in its absence.
My photosynthesis feeds so greedily,
It consumes light.
Yet the feast never stops, continues
With invisible source.
Light is the appetizer,
Smiles the side
With darkness bringing
Endless entrees.
Crunch!
Crack!
Snap!
Snacking smacks fill the empty air.
My skin crawls as my mold,
Spreads and consumes.
My own movement sickens me.
I am disease.

Lifeless
You lay there
Dead and cold

Touches
Light flicks
Dry and rough

Quiet
Not a sound
Scream nor praise

Question
What is wrong
Flaccid and limp

Horror
Hands are filth
Unwanted intruders

Recoil
Shake in guilt
Truth stabbing tears

Pitter, patter, splat, splatter.
Mad as a lost hatter.
Swirling around the voice of voice.
Where has his meaning gone?
It slipped down his throat,
Escaped having only filth.
Palms out!
Eyes closed
As his world crumbles
By his touch.

He feels the spiral of song,
Enchanting his heart with hope.
The words dig in dangerously
Criticize this soul,
But this beauty is what is left.

He dares not fight,
Craves only admiration.
Whickering comes the stifled laugh
Mocking his existence.
Another crossroad overcrowded
With souls being sold.
For?
Peace
Love
Survival.
Like him, some so desperate
For the trade
in hopes new hell
Will be better than old.
All that is wanted is an end.

Breaking bones
A cough
Shrieking stones
A laugh

Boiling blood
A scream
Freezing flood
A dream

Churning curds
A shudder
Burning birds
A stutter

Slip into control Satan.
Take my rising rage
And pressured passion.
It is wasted and hated
By those I entrusted.
I am standing alongside
My own corpse and it is time
Someone else used it.
I don’t remember the death
But my own magic is missing.
I need your fangs to dig deep
Seep the venom into my veins
The white purity has led to pain.
At least with you I know
That is what will come.
And It is my choice.
I tire of promises ****** in my face like salvation.
It is horseshit.
I will never rebuke God
But the toxic teachers of the church
Have led me to this tragedy.

Chest tight
Stomach knotted
As we approach this fortress of death

So many souls
So many lost
My heart screams and I am still blind

The distant clock ticks

There is no place as rich
With love, art, and song
Though the dust covered
These walls ages ago

This cave is home

In the silent deep I wait.
I listen for my call against the endless void of noise.
What I am waiting for I know not.
How and why I am here are equal mysteries,
that fill the lost passage of time.
I cannot know the hour nor the minute.
All that I have is the moon
lapping the surface about.
Never the solar, always the lunar face.
My body is stiff and heavy,
almost impossible to move.
My view is always the same.
These dark holes and splintered eyes
fill my soul with dread.
It never moves nor takes its gaze from me.
I cannot smell, speak nor taste.
When I try,
I cough into nothingness,
My body forcing black liquid from my lungs

Blood rush,
Brain chained,
Teeth tied,
And here I sit

Scent
Intoxicating
Invading
Smoking out defense

Those succulent dimples,
That clicking mind,
That husky hooking voice.
Substitutes of a hungrier passion.

I feel lost,
I want some,
I need to forget.

Obsession is unbecoming,
Unwanted internal conflict
Ripe with dead dreams
Fighting harsh realities

Simplicity is all I want,
But each day
that lie
gets harder to say.

You are living
In my space
Without payment.
Leave me, please.

Breach
Breach
Breach
The walls have a breach
Breach
Breach
The walls have a breach
Breach
Breach

Walking in my own head
Feel safe from the attacks of old
Yet there you are breaching
With eyes of pure gold

I thought it was over
I thought it was done

Why does the cage have to exist?
Why does this prison have chains?

I’m lost again.
Lost in the depth of your soul.
**** the universe that collided
Together to make us stand in
The rain.

You are leaving
I wish you were gone
The pain you give me
Is far too strong

Sometimes I smile being the thorn
Of the self-righteous and first born

Not sorry to ruin a few moments.
Stolen seconds from swollen swine
A brief pause gained against their gnaw.

Yell your yodel of a young victim
While your cup runneth o’er
And you greed grows

Forgive me for my moment of misstep
I feel so foolish to consider my value
In equality with the self-centered fool

Clearly here is the treasure
Your dreams of monotonous money
The perpetual pit of possessions
The incessant itch of inflation
The ceaseless clawing for cash
While I cluelessly cling
To dreams of art and time.