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shiv Dec 2019
And how long is forever
And how long is an eternity.

when you said happily ever after
I guess you forget the never.
shiv Jan 2017
She gets drunk on the brink of eternity and lies in wait to become the legend she doesn’t believe she has the ability to become.

But destiny is a fickle thing and it does not care that the only violent thing in her past was a rabid dog that wandered across her path one evening.


Her mother will faint at the sight of her daughters soon to be bloodied knuckles but her father will cheer. They both knew they had raised a fighter, her mother just wished she didn't have to hurt herself doing it.

She gets high at the edge of the abyss and as she looks into it she falls inside. As she topples, head over heels to make a history of the likes that is unprecedented. A history she had no idea she was capable of making.

(She’s just a girl.)

(She’s only a girl.)


**She’s a ******* god.
shiv Aug 2017
His body is a warzone; the cuts, the scars, the marks.
His mind does not fair much better; but he does try, try, try.
shiv Nov 2018
and when i smoulder out
trapped beneath the ruins of my skin
all i can hear is the rumble of applause

because you mistake this ruin for reality
and you call it beauty  

and you think that it is gorgeous
the way i bleed out on the floor
gasping for a breath that wont reach my lungs

in a symbolic attempt to show
humanity to be as bright and dangerous
as its greatest fears
shiv Jun 2017
If loyalty is not given freely,
it is not given at all.

If you force us to show respect
than you never had it to begin with.

If we are bribed to show you
how much we love you,
than we wont be loving you at all.
shiv Oct 2018
and nothing i own
has ever been mine.

and nothing i could have
will be for me.

i could die
and people will still
find a way to take
my last stand
and make it theirs.
shiv Oct 2018
i ****** myself to hell
because
it was all i was good for.
shiv Aug 2017
And you can take as many pills as you want, they can't take you away from who you are.
And you can still smoke as much **** as you want, your veins are still a world of ruin and sin.
shiv Jun 2017
i. Do not think she cares about you; her heart is a wasteland and love is the rain the land knows it will not get anymore.
ii. Do not think she feels like you do; she will tear you apart in her effort to love.
iii. Do not think her being happy is good; she destroys everything she touches, ruin is more natural to her than joy.
iv. Do not care about her; no matter what emotion she is expressing all she feels is scorn for you.
v. Do not get close to her; she is a flame and whatever good she once possessed has long since burnt to ashes under its heat.
shiv Sep 2018
you wrapped your unending vulnerability
inside a cocoon of every single one of the
foul deeds you committed.
every shameful secret you bought to life.

and you wonder why you can never grow strong.
why the only part of you that can take a hit
is the armour you bought for far too little
to bleed into your blood stream and offer your body
the support your degenerate being can't supply.
shiv Dec 2019
i know i have only ever known flames
only ever the silence before
a lit match touches my exposed skin

and i know that you are every black ocean depth
but i would give anything, time and time again
to be washed out by you

i would give up an eternity
of euphoria red and orange
to know you long for me
the way the moon and sun
the way i do you
shiv Oct 2018
And I suppose its poetic that my bones snapped
to every beat of your heart,
that my body gave out every time you looked at me;
lighting in your eyes.
And I suppose its poetic that i've only ever felt hell
when i've been in love with you.
shiv Oct 2018
Every time you laugh i'm caught in the edges of an abyss,
like i'm drowning in the constant birth and death of a star.
and I cant help but wonder if this is all you’ve ever been.
The flesh and bones you inhabit now.
I can't help but wonder if you watched from the edges of the earth
and saw humanity love and die and wonder what it would be like,
to  live a life where you were something other than ash in the wind.
shiv Nov 2017
i could have been something,
and my bones ache
with a destiny denied.
shiv Nov 2017
Your mouth is a gun
And each I LOVE YOU
Is a bullet, reminding me
That im alive.
shiv May 2018
the truth runs wild
the truth runs free.
i've never felt happier
than when you're with me.
shiv Aug 2018
maybe i could wrench
       a whole right through my heart.

maybe the gods wont notice
        when i fall apart.
shiv Sep 2017
Her love is not something one can endure,
Which is why she does not understand why
She would desire to inflict it on someone.
shiv Oct 2018
you take what you get
and you learn to live
with the way it all ends.
shiv May 2018
the gods are ruthless, the gods are merciless
and one day they will light this world on fire
just to see how long it dares burn for.
shiv May 2018
he can feel it echo through his veins,
tragedy was written in his fathers blood.
(and his fathers blood before him.)

he can feel it break his lungs apart
sometimes love can not hold things together.
(sometimes love is not enough.)

he can feel it tremor sadness too his hands
sometimes lovers can only be that.
(not made for time, not made for love.)
to fall for the heartless is a certain type of spite that perhaps only the gods can revel in
shiv Dec 2018
take my hand and take me away
to a world where the agony i feel
is a dark dream i can not remember
shiv Sep 2018
there's an aching rhythm to my bones.
they cry and they call out;
please please, we want to go home.
and i don't know how to reply
and i don't know what to say
other than i know, i know.
shiv Apr 2019
and i've only got two hands
but they've only ever been full
and i've only got one heart
but its only ever been torn apart

and i guess in another world
a death wish in one hand
wouldn't be quite so bad
but in this universe
my other hand holds yours
and in this universe
i'm loved by you

and i guess in another world
id have the sense of mind
to not love another

but in another universe
your hand wouldn't be
a symbol of my death wish
and your love wouldn't be the bullet
that finally got me killed
shiv Nov 2018
there was a tragedy written in the stars
of you and i and how all that we had loved
had turned to dust
shiv Aug 2018
and there are so many words but i cant get to them.
cant hold on enough to figure out their meanings,
to find a sentence that makes sense.

and there are too many words that come rushing at me,
to take me to a better place,
but my feet are rooted to the floor
and all i know is that i am missing out.

and then the static takes me again, until it doesn't.
and i am a repeat of nothing and everything
until i fall apart at the whim of the words,
that i don't understand why i simply cant listen.
shiv Dec 2019
And i want to drown in something other than you
I want to meet god on her throne and not wish
I was anywhere else with you.

And i want to be someone else
Who does not dream of your love
And wake up crying with the bed cold.
shiv Nov 2018
and he stutters out a world
wherein he is sadness more than boy
and i can not help but think
he deserved so much more
than the agony ripped into his skin
shiv Feb 2018
she has made herself so dependant on others
that she does not know if she can stand alone.
shiv Dec 2017
I want to feel something
Other then pain,
Other then loss.
Something that doesnt
make me rot
shiv Nov 2018
and i will remold myself into something new
because failure means nothing at all
when you are everything there is
shiv May 2018
you spite the gods
because who else would dare do such a thing.

you spite the gods
because nothing makes you feel more alive
then to imagine what their ire feels off.
shiv Oct 2018
i've never been my own person
and perhaps i never will be.

because i am owned and consumed
meant for no more but the amusement
of another human being.

and i suppose its ironic
that i've felt the least powerful
around the people who claim themselves
to have the kindness of saints.

and i suppose it's ironic
that i've felt the shackles binding me the most
when i'm around the people
who preach their love for me.
shiv Sep 2018
i set the world on fire
and i called it my own.
shiv Jun 2017
This is not poetry,
This is not soul.
Just words I've
Never spoken.
shiv Mar 2019
i am not soft i am not kind
i am not the petals of this flower
because i am brutal in all the wrong ways

and if I was someone else
i would beg forgiveness from above
but all i can do is laugh at the punishment to come

in a room darker than dried blood
in a life quieter than a tomb
i cant help but see the stars
as something else to guide me wrong
i cant help but see you
as someone else who wants me gone

and maybe its not right
maybe the shadow is a tree
and maybe love is a breeze
but i have only ever been hurt
and i have only ever been burnt
shiv Nov 2018
and if it meant never losing you
the world and the stars
could crumble down to dust.

and i would not only watch on
i would help light the flames
to destroy it all.
shiv Aug 2018
i want to live
an eternity in your life.
in your heart.
shiv Sep 2017
How do i make it hurt less
If nobody is left to help.
How do i make it hurt less
When i don't want to be saved.
shiv Jul 2017
Of darkness we come,
Of darkness we are.
shiv Nov 2017
She falls to quick,
And she falls to hard.
And the world wont care
When she falls apart.
shiv Nov 2018
and there is a rhythm to pain
it swings to and fro
like it is trying to eat you whole
shiv Dec 2018
if i was any more of a mess
id have ****** up
written on my forehead
shiv Dec 2019
I have a soul as black as every lonely night
I have a voice that crackles with more anger
Then the righteous in fear

And i guess its true what they say
About opposites attracting

Because how could someone
Who looks like heaven personified
Want to know someone like me
Other then to exorcise them properly
shiv Jun 2017
And when she got cold
her fingers itched for a lighter.
To light every crevice she held ablaze,
to fend the dark away another day.
shiv Oct 2017
her body is a battleground
for her anxiety and she knows
that she's not winning anymore.
shiv Aug 2017
And you set yourself on fire
(again, and again, and again.)
Because the feeling
is worth getting burned.
Because a life without feeling
that you have /lived/
is not much of a life at all.
shiv Nov 2018
his love is like the sea
as uncompromising
and remorseless
as the current
tends to be
shiv Aug 2017
You are not your mother
And you are not your father.
Your life is your own
And the only sins
you should have to cary
Are the ones you commit.
shiv Jun 2018
there is a storm trapped inside her heart
and it seeks a ruination that will rattle
the stars.
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