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shiv Mar 2022
i want to live without coating my joy in resin
worried about what will tarnish it.
how do i grow if my past is always there
encased in a love i never think i can feel again.
shiv Oct 2017
dream me a world,
where the stars in my veins
are put to good use.
shiv Sep 2017
You give yourself no credit;
A being of stardust and wildfire.
You give yourself no credit;
A being that puts natures beauty to shame.
shiv Jul 2017
Of darkness we come,
Of darkness we are.
shiv Jun 2017
She won''t look you in the eye when she tells you she loves you.
(she doesn’t know what love means)
And her mouth is dry when she hears you say it.
(she knows one can not truly love what they don’t know)
shiv Sep 2017
She shoots up on stardust
Untill she is a galaxy
unto herself.
shiv May 2017
She drank gasoline like water
and had the audacity to be surprised at the flames that caught when she held a match too close.

Look at how she's burning up.
Look at how she's burning out.
Finally. Finally. Finally.
shiv Aug 2017
And yes the earth orbits the sun,
But not eveything is a metaphor
For you and him.
shiv Dec 2018
if i was any more of a mess
id have ****** up
written on my forehead
shiv Oct 2018
and ill give you
one last chance
to show you can love me
the way you would a fire

and ill let you be the arson
to whatever we are gasoline boy

if you know there is more to love
than burning me out of my body

than breaking apart my ribs
for a look beneath at my heart

you are as slick with desperation as you are love,
but i have only ever been hurt
and i do not intend to become another statistic
in another raging wildfire.
shiv Feb 2021
You hold me like you think i will leave
Like the constant contact we keep
Is the anchor holding you to me

The rocks can not stop
The waves from meeting the shore
And distance can not keep
My heart from beating for yours
shiv Aug 2017
You were not worth my heart.
But i gave it (gave it, gave it)
To you.
shiv Aug 2017
You are not your mother
And you are not your father.
Your life is your own
And the only sins
you should have to cary
Are the ones you commit.
shiv Aug 2017
And you set yourself on fire
(again, and again, and again.)
Because the feeling
is worth getting burned.
Because a life without feeling
that you have /lived/
is not much of a life at all.
shiv Sep 2018
and this is the apathy that will **** her,
this rotting agony which roils in her veins.
and this is the apathy that will break her bones,
regardless of her attempts to halt it.
and this is the apathy which will eat her whole.
and this is the apathy that will decimate her soul.
shiv Mar 2017
I want to know what it is like
to light my soul on fire,
without getting lost in the flames.
without burning myself out.
shiv Oct 2017
her body is a battleground
for her anxiety and she knows
that she's not winning anymore.
shiv Jun 2017
You can't burn
every bridge you have,
and then wonder why
you're choking on smoke.
shiv Nov 2018
his love is like the sea
as uncompromising
and remorseless
as the current
tends to be
shiv Sep 2018
And you say god lives in a church
but i've felt her in the moments
before our skin touches.

I've seen her when i bawl my eyes out
to a moon who does nothing
but ignore me.

I'm not religious but 
 if faith brings me something other
than the lonley feeling in my gut,
then i dont know why
I haven't converted yet.
shiv Jul 2017
I am a conniption personified, and you have stars in your eyes.
-no wonder we didn't work out
shiv Nov 2018
who do i be
when the world
doesn't want me
shiv Jun 2018
there is a storm trapped inside her heart
and it seeks a ruination that will rattle
the stars.
shiv Jun 2017
if this is strength
then why
am i in such pain.
shiv Sep 2017
Do you feel real,
Without their validation?
shiv Sep 2018
and what is love
but the breaking of a heart,
but the destruction of all that's true.
shiv Mar 2017
They're selling heaven for 15 grams.
They're selling love for our souls.
shiv Oct 2017
He can not decide between
letting his heart rot to nothing
Or to let it envelop him.
shiv Jun 2017
My veins flood with vitriol
Again and again and again.
Untill i am nothing more
Then a body left to decay,
and a heart bound to shatter
Under the starlight.
shiv May 2018
you wrap your hands around my throat and i am scared that you will not crush it.

this fear in my chest has lived for longer than i have been alive. it whispers in a language so crude i do not think a human tongue could speak it. it is restless and reckless and all consuming. it has no gender it has no age, it forgot its name so it calls itself a demon.

you wrap your hands around my throat and i can only hope.
shiv Jun 2018
you will drown. you will rot.
this raw feeling of reality will swallow you whole,
and the only wish you will have
will be as to how fast it takes you.
shiv Jun 2017
There’s nowhere left to run.
What’s someone born to a race of runaways to do
when their legs have been cut from under them?
Victory was never ours, and to have thought it would be
was the start of our downfall.  
This is the world nearing its finish. (galactic reset)
Hand us the knives we’ll slit our own throats, give us the stones and we’ll smash our heads in ourselves.
shiv Jun 2017
You pray to heavens you dont believe in, asking for forgivness from gods you think are fake.
shiv Dec 2019
And every day I wake
And every day I sleep
And everyday I wish for you
To love me again
shiv Dec 2017
Peal back my skin,
Tear through my ribs.
Find my heart
(Rotting, rotting, rotting)
Inside me after all.
shiv Aug 2018
because she would beg on her knees to a god she doesn't believe in,
because the sky could cave in and her world would go with it.
shiv Jan 2017
Don't you dare preach to me when you kiss every ******* person you can just to feel alive.

Don't spew words and lines like you haven't twisted morals just to feel like you're right.

Don't you dare come to me saying anything when you shy away from mirrors just to avoid seeing the monster you've become.

You can't preach heavens light when you're as far from enlightenment as you can get.

— The End —