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Finn Dec 2021
When I'm left to myself
My wrists tingle
And I vividly see what it would like like
To scratch and scratch,
until blood flowed like a river
To pry my nails from my body,
with a squelching sound
To pull my teeth with pliers,
feeling the roots' empty place
To stab pencils into my thighs,
and leave them in the contracting muscles
To pour acid down my back,
and feel it burning and bubbling and the tissues peeling off
To scoop out my eyes,
and finally be blind to the world,
with crimson tears running down my face
Save me from my remnants,
That flake away
From my soul.

Bury me alive,
Away from those
Who draw me in so easily.

An emotional scratching post
To them is all
I ever was,

Reach inside
My hollow chest
And finish what they started,

For I am nothing but a seed
Traversing this
Barren dirt,

Left only to
My dire thoughts,
Taking slowly my life essence.

The clouds, they overcast this
True face with a
Gilded mask,

As I'm left to
Scream beneath it,
Oh, save me from my remnants.
31 lines, 303 days left.
Marisol Quiroz Jan 2021
i am shattering like glass
as everything around me slips away
reality fragmenting, i reach to grab shards
sharp enough to slit my own wrists

i return to tendencies of self destruction
like returning to an abusive ex
because even when things are bad
there is comfort in the familiarity pain.

— dis(comfort)
Lavender Menace Oct 2020
"WHY THE HELL DO YOU DO THIS?!"
I love it.
I love biteing my bold red, silent white fingertips till they snap off like hot glass, and baby this might scare the **** outta you but I love the feeling of my blood when it melts into the floor, I'm not gonna stop just because your pounding on my door.
The feeling of my heart tearing it apart is the only thing that I feel to live and live to feel.
And no, I don't love you, but I love the feeling you give me when I'm forced to cut my hair because you think it's ******* ugly.
Yeah baby tell me I'm ugly!!
Let's go to the store and i'll walk into the street, to get that half smoked cigarette I saw thrown out of a car window. And you can pull me away but that won't do ****, i'll fall into you and we'll both tumble off a bridge.... right into the snow, you saved me you know?
I'll tear out my eyes so I don't have to watch you go.
i love this feeling of sinking in sorrow, as **** spews from my mouth to make Room for tomorrow.
Sit in bed late at night, get bored, start a fight.
Break a window punch a wall just say **** it to it all.
I'll hit my head on the stone till I'm hella ******.
When someone tries to help make them hate you till they leave you alone.
I hate me too, yeah its self destructive, but that ***** just what I love so who gives a ****?
Oh look, now I'm alone, in the pool at my home, I made of glass on the floor, whail ghosts are pounding on my fuking door
GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THAT DOOR!! LL JUST BLOW THAT **** UP!!!
**** it all, my family,my friends, my school, my love i dont care just **** it all
I JUST WANNA BE ALONE, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. IN A room full of static that I call my home.
Just leave me alone, I deserve to be alone.
oof yeah
DeVaughn Station Aug 2020
Only liars deny the ambition to go fishing
for what they want. The craving, the need, the haunting desires
only places you on a self-destructive and burning pyre.
You yearn for more, twisting on a mission,
wishing for the glistening gold of what you’re owed.
To move, to improve, on your flaunts
for yourself is such an everlearning taunt of wealth.
Well, when your well doesn’t get any higher
and the Sun’s hell ceases to tire,
emptiness befells the commission and buyer.
You’d sire more just to gain more,
but wouldn’t look towards your neighbors implore?
You would even bore through foreign floors
until it's all missing. Toes tucked and turning,
mouth foaming, you're an overzealous fiend for more earnings.
Your hives don’t die and you keep twitching.
Your heart keeps spinning the lies through your sleek grinning
and only the drive to buy is what keeps you alive.
August 25, 2020: An infinity next to you so juxtaposed. Even your chauffeur is there just to pose and you have nothing to show for it.
Nola Jun 2020
I drown myself in alcohol,
So my brain cant think at all.
I wasted most nights all alone.
Searching for a feeling i call my home.
But nothing is mine to own.
They say,
Stop feeling broken and sour.
So i drown myself in pills and liquor,
Cuz for me that's only working cure.
Even the music cant help no more,
Small wooden box, my deathwish, my final decor.
Empire Mar 2020
Why am I like this

I’m attracted to poison

If it could hurt me, I want it

I’ll crave it

Desire will burn in my veins

Because I need it

Something deadly

Something toxic in my blood

Just... just let me try it...
Grew up being “perfect”... I guess at some point self destruction was always inevitable...
Michaela Ferris Feb 2020
I'm lost inside a labyrinth,
With its ever changing paths.
One minute you're near escaping,
The next it's altered all again.
A never ending nightmare
Thinking it knows what's best for you,
But it's lies are imbedded deep within
And there's nothing more that you can do.

My mind is like a tornado,
Destroying everything in its path.
One day I'm simply surviving
The next, I wish I was dying.
I'm terrified of my mind
For I fear it can make me do.
Self-destructive, hypocrite of pain and love
Beckoning me to hurt once more because that's all I deserve.
Empire Feb 2020
Haha
There’s no empathy in me
So sweet of you to notice
I don’t ******* care
My heart is a gaping hole
A void you can’t fill
And to feel something
I’ll hurt you
I’ll watch you bleed
To amuse myself
And cut my own skin
To feel something more
Because I’m not a good person
Don’t get me wrong here
I am not okay
And I’ll drag you to Hell
Right along with me
Syreena Phelps Sep 2019
I starve myself
Because the intense growl in my stomach
is the only time
something tells me it cares about me

I take freezing showers
that make it hard to breathe
Because it's the only time
I fight to stay alive

I read past conversations
of my heart getting broke
Because it's the only time
I can control when I cry

I fake happiness
for those around me
Because I'd rather hide my pain
than my peers to pretend to care

I isolate myself
from everything
Because it's the only time
that I am the only one who can hurt me

I'm stuck in a depressive paradox;
the only way for me to survive my pain
is to make my own
Was going go use the term "borborygmus" in the second line, but decided that's too extra.
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