i’m not asking you back
i don’t mind where you’re at
don’t wanna go over this or that
i’m just thinking of you

as i think of the times we had
thought stoked embers still glow
we really weren’t that bad you know
making me think of you

knowing time has buried the past
residual feelings still ring true
some things just last and last
and i’m here thinking of you

regardless of the topic
always completing
with a self effacing chuckle
to be eternally nice
and cheerfully accepting
all that life throws at you
is just bland

no alarms and
no surprises here

those who are
compelled to ignore
the humanity of passion
and all it’s forms
rage, hilarity, grief, madness
not to allow them out
not to scream and shout
living a life banal
a life in denial
of life itself

these releases
i allow all my company
as i allow them for myself

i am bored
with the need
to smooth things over
the sensations of passion
the expression of them
is the juice of life
and art itself

vent i say
with as much
colour as you can
let your feelings
be the drive in your song
your chance to belong
amongst us flawed humanity
eschew banality
make a stand, and
banish bland

while our massive
magnificent blue orb
turns in slow grace
and basks in the sun
i live my days
in self absorbed ways

but now and then
… like now
i step out into space
and look down on
my insignificance

i live my life down there
basking in the sunshine
of your warm regard
and the odd smile
from a well-meaning stranger
loving the beauty i see

it’s all that i’ve got
and is mostly enough
for my brief ride
on this magnificent
massive blue orb

sure we are
collectively killing
the natural environment
and obsession with
economic growth
is in the hands
of those empowered
by money

but

my choice is to
be who is better
speak of good things
do that which is better
grow things and thoughts
that go to a better place
that manifest my ideal
that nurture and heal
without an apology
for sounding pollyanna
reality acknowledgement
with actions that speak
to a sorry establishment
undaunted and undeterred
never a sorry word
choosing active hope
never giving up
extolling the beauty
making merry
dancing with nature
celebrating sun shine
loving the loveable
singing songs of praise
to things that amaze
create the magic
that belief in the better
is the only soulful option

in a world of misery and splendour
absurdity is king
but love and hope
is my chosen thing

we all remember
where we were
watching the towers
burn and fall
knowing that things would
never be the same at all
disbelief at first, or
had an action movie
slipped into the news

no, it was real
and then twenty years
of vengeful repercussion
of military posturing
of suffering for many
we watched
the baddies being painted
good and evil
being redefined
virtue confused
impotence and power
conflated
lies and spin
consecrated
truth
alternated
idiot rich guys
promoted
tax for the poor
promulgated
democracy
desecrated
climate destruction
accelerated
by denialist
complacency
inequality
more concentrated
goodness and morality
infiltrated

by posturing political
pus weasels
venal vultures
of self interest
grasping for
short term dominance

and then ..
complacency pervaded
as absurdity
was accepted
as our new state of normal
and the height
of compassion
was owning a dog
and tut tutting
as refugees marched
across our news screens

and now we
bemoan being isolated
from being contaminated
we are mostly relegated
to stay in our mansions
while dinner is contemplated
have you been vaccinated?

swim around my head
they float in and out like clouds
emerging in the morning light
shedding subconscious shrouds

they cruise like languid fish
among hopes and fears
among anxieties and demons
among the loves and tears

they are dragged into order
to face the day’s demand
they are harnessed into logic
but they are criminals on remand

they are human nature vagabonds
we try to steer them through
suspicion fear and rivalry
to enlightenment brand new

i love their feral ways
they challenge us every day
the are random and wild
they keep us in the fray

we used to run without shoes
we used to swim without snorkels
we used to walk not drive a car
we used to heal without a pill
we used to be happy without a screen
we find our way without emaps
we used to procreate without ****

we are accessory addicted
alone we are conflicted
from nature we have shifted
from ourselves we have drifted

a man is rich
in proportion
to the number of things
he can afford to let alone (Thoreau)

i am alone
as is everybody
yet we are heartened by company
we are soothed by well regard
we love to be missed
we love to be touched
we love to be kissed
we love to be loved
we are not so special
in essential needs
we are everybody
not solo self-important takers
and knowing this
brings down the walls
and is better
for everybody

mother ocean is my church
and oneness is my belief
the sea is forgiveness
and she can crash you on the reef
she teaches me humility
and calms my restless soul
she dissipates my static
and makes me again whole
i return to land and people
consecrated by her water
ready to play again
strong without falter
when my day is done
and i’ve done all i can
return my borrowed molecules
to she who understands

it’s on the rise

so they said to me ...
can you believe it?
so i told them ...
the nerve!
***?
***!
what are they thinking?
some people!

We are the reasonable ones
but They
are idiotic, stupid bogans
greedy arrogant money-grabbing capitalists
or non believing infidels

we are quick to form our clubs
our churches of belief
secure our self-righteousness
fomenting hate for others

we reinforce our togetherness
with short hash-tagged rants
we are bonded in our contempt
for those other miscreants

we forget our humanity
and squabble over scraps
while our planet dies
we draw territorial maps

we reinforce our borders
forgetting what our wars have done
to our fellow humans
what has our fighting won?

self interest media
helps to congeal
a fake ****** mess
a long long way from real

so spare the indignation
open minds and hearts
it’s only what we gave
that’s remembered when we pass

humanity at play
all on display
sun salved souls
play out their connection
under a soothing sun
mum and daughter
mum and dad
master and dog
boyfriend and girlfriend
surfer and surfboard

out of our living rooms
away from the fumes
satisfying our want
dealing with sand and salt

with a variety of competence

local or tourist
turkey or purist

it’s all ok
it’s a lovely day
humanity is out to play
and on display

where is hope
in this cluster **** world
we are just powerless disciples
of distrust and suspicion
of our systems and overlords
a bunch of anonymous souls
who have learnt
to question everything
emboldened by our
social media alliance
we are a coalition of suspicion

but a cluster **** of suspicion
will be no salvation

hope is
people doing the things that they love
things they believe in
being humble warriors
of self determination
helping each other
in compassion and grace
and in so doing
showing others that
there are good people
in the world
because we are all
just people together

not talking anymore
to those
who aren’t listening
thoughts, ideas and love
are ready to share and bare
to the receptive
to those who can receive
and respond with mindful critique
it has to be a two way street
for a conversation
to survive and go
to where ideas grow
and so

i am silent and waiting for a sign
don’t leave me hanging
i want to find my way home

...
children never got
as much attention

bedrooms never got
cleaned up as much

we never read as much

friends never thought so much
about each other

beaches never got
walked on as much

we never looked as much
at each other

and dogs never got
walked as much

as they do
in these quarantine times

beautiful bluff
feathered in mist
silent and proud
moisture kissed
almost broke my knees getting to you
but now you’re a lover
whose company is missed
and coming home
rounding the curves
near your sea skirt
I look up
at your vertical mantle
with a loving heart
so glad to be living
in your embrace

sometimes you disappoint me
especially when you
massively buy toilet paper
and sometimes you express
great compassion and generosity
when you make sure fire victims
are supported and nurtured

essentially you are followers of leaders
which begs the need for good leaders

never before have we needed
examples of goodness to guide us
through the challenges of the future

and so i offer this

be the reason,
someone believes that there are good people

whaddayoudo
between fast food and poo
of benefit to this earth
what is left
or are you bereft
of any contributing worth

you accelerate too fast
and squander the stuff
that took millions of years to make
what do you think
in the din of your doof
as you take and take and take

are you nuts
to leave a trail of butts
and grunting diatribe
dropping your empties
what were you thinking
it's just such a bad vibe

you sneer an swear
and put smoke in the air
and criticise all that’s arty
you adopt talk of the street
and a derivative beat
as you fight for your right to party

whaddayoudo
between fast food and poo
that is of redeeming worth
whaddayoudo
that would be fine and true
that's of benefit to this earth?

we once were
weren’t we?
oh how we could have
been more?
different now though
happy with our paths
who knows
where we would be?
still that lingering
possibility
that more was there
i am now here
you are there
impossible
to compare
Still with
all the love
in our lives
there’s that
undying
spark still
in the embers

there is an ominous sense of portent
in the air
in the orange glow of the sun
in the dry heat
in the smoke in the air

for others it was far worse
in hellish bush fire infernos
seeing their homes and all familiarity
converted to ash
alone with nothing but tears

a natural disaster
born of
unnatural plundering of earth resources
the consequence of consumerism without restraint
and a soothsaying denying bogan Shrek of a PM
pretending to care just to save his political neck
go back to kirribilli ya ****
there’s no votes for you here

suddenly the consequences of she'll be right
we'll vote for relatable people who will take care of jobs
are outed as people who have no long term idea
but the're own short term political survival
and are culpable for the hell around us now

suddenly the offence we have inflicted on nature
is showing us the kick back
and the arrogance of thinking we were in control
is being torched by an angry mother
who doesn't love us for what we've done
we were deluded to think we had any control
now surrounded by bush fires that are out of control

portending a time for humility
and acceptance that we are not needed

blessed i am
to wake surrounded
by bird songs multifarious
each with their signature calls
saying ...

where’s my mate
we need to perpetuate

driven by nature’s code
keeping within my mode
where’s my mate
we need to perpetuate

alive and in my prime
now is our time
where’s my mate
we need to perpetuate

i’m looking to find
a lover of my kind
where’s my mate
we need to perpetuate

joyous chirping, tweeting, whistling
warbling, crowing and wooing
in a chorus of overtures
invitations to the nub of life,
procreation

mauve and red on azure hue
jacarandas, flame trees and summer blue
that time again of heat
and inappropriate rituals

we grew here
and santa clause flew here!
who does he think he is?

roast dinners while paul kelly
asks who will make the gravy

bush fire victims needy of funding
while millions are spent on fireworks
as though there wasn’t enough smoke
or air pollution

families who avoid each other
through the year
gather with cheap coloured paper hats
and pull the ritual bonbon
and tell bad puns
to fill the gaps in conversation
and the cicadas sing out
the banality, the ennui

while cashed up families
tow caravans up and down the coast
to camping area suburbias
and celebrate their right
to overeat and drink beer
their god given entitlement
to be strayan
and talk about queue jumpers

that’s why i make my own ritual
based on the good things
of that time ...

respite from daily routine
time for quiet reflection
on the worth
of who you are
and who you’ve helped

i liked it the way you listened
i could tell by your eyes
and your smart questioning

i liked it that you had a sense of beauty
a quite relish for stillness
and the spirit in things

i liked it the way you cared
for people’s feelings
the hosting of your society
and your tender awareness of sensitivities

i liked your sense of humour
and interest in people’s bizarre stories
your relish for their secrets

but most of all

l liked it the way you touched me
going straight to parts
i didn’t even know that
set my soul on fire
electrifying my desire

good health
i have had a comfortable life
with middle class privilege
but i have known and seen
bullies in my class
making me stand against it always

they are leading the country now
and are demonstrably showing
brutal intransigent power
over those without citizen identity
because we had wars
in their countries

so they have done nothing more
than seek a better life
who wouldn’t have?
and now they can’t go back

so many people compromised
by oil greed and power avarice
rendered without country
without wealth
without identity
without dignity
these people are no different
in human need
yet

i have place
i have citizen identity
i have freedom

curiosity ...

involves a will
to question
a facility not needed
when you have blind faith
in shock jocks who compellingly
save you the trouble
there is power in persuasion
a voice with sonorous conviction
that corrals you into what to think
burrows into a small mind
like a god-voiced ear wig
quelling the notion
you are not so sure?
Pauline has the courage
to say what
you are thinking
or the audacity
to fill an empty vessel
that had nothing
but a nascent fear
that blissful ignorance
was under attack
so gather with the herd
know you are not alone
the mediocrity shepherds
will reassure you
that you are all together
it’s them that are different
it’s them who are hatefully wrong

we argue every full moon
our determined spirits clash
time has taught us not to worry
it’s just a reclaiming of identity
necessary for self and mutual respect
often times though
i see your lovely nature
am pleased by you and me
tenderness assails me
longing to caress and kiss
i must act on these impulses
and not succumb to
habits of numbness
and head digression
touch when impulse pulses
caress when you feel caring
kiss as soon as the urge comes
we are relationship stayers
who have made it through every crisis
we have seen each other in all states
and are still loving mates
here’s to us
eternal love mates
i think because
at the end of the day
my little boy
and your little girl
will always want to play

it’s that time of year again
a time for re-evaluation

my gratitude awards
go to ...

disinterest in material things
those who see better values
cultivated kindred spirits
kindred strangers
who are yet to be met
a comfortable life
the cliff, the trees,
the creatures, the seas,
the music
the things i can do
and the freedom to do them
and the love
that was shared
this year

sometimes i’m shocked
by the smallness of my world
at times something happens
that spotlights my ignorance
and i don’t worry

because knowing all
will never be
and knowing that
just reminds me

how what we know
is ever
in philosophical doubt

and what we know, we don’t know
is massive, multiple and manifold

and what we don’t know, that we don’t know
that unfathomable black hole
really can’t matter

leaving me in a state
of delirious mysterious wonder
accepting happily
that there is much to ponder

but there is no hurry
so what me worry

i am gloriously indulgent
when left to my own devices
lashings of stylish fulfillment
in a mix of virtues and vices

i have my sense of order
though i am craven to desire
drunk with a sense of beauty
to torch blandness in a fire

poor dear mediocrity
your time is not with me
you are my sworn enemy
find others for company

i burn for what is art
and those, who do it for love
they are my choice of company
together, we'll rise above
​

today i saw a woman who was tall
she walked with no apology at all

head and shoulders above the rest
her freakishness to test

her back was proud and straight
highly poised in her gait

she chose grace in her distinction
outstanding in unique  perfection

sailing tall with urbanity
in a sea of ordinary humanity

i liked that!

i am of an age ...

when hubris cannot be afforded
and perception is informed by experience
when a mind that is questioning is a turn on
yet healthy enough for primal urges

i am of an age

where knowing what i don’t know
fills me with curiosity and wonder
when i have time to look at nature
and think deeply of its beauty

i am of an age

when i know to curb my nostalgia
so not to bore the young
but have a rich past to appreciate
and the bold inspired moves
that made it great

i am of an age

when i can play with my grand daughter
with connection and joy
while seeing the wonder of learning
and the purity of innocence

i am of an age

when the worthy are quickly separated
from the time thieves
who are quickly dispatched
only to give to the worthy

i am of an age

when character and spirit are primary attractions
regardless of any other categorisations
when the soul of another can be seen
and be the most important thing

i am of an age

when i walk the dog
and feel like a boy
when kissing a loved one
makes me feel new

i am of an an age
when i can appreciate you

man and woman are one
when wooing alchemy is done
when what is man is
wanted so bad by woman

and what is woman
is wanted so bad by man

touch and tease
tantalise and squeeze
till joined in genital congregation
speaking tongues of lustful sensation
become feverishly driven
in procreational oblivion
till peaks are reached
till urges are beached

but fluids are blended
and the seed is sown
deep inside
where it may be grown

sometimes i wish
that we were closer,
as we have been
as close as can be

but i think we
are true friends
because we don’t
need each other
between exchanges

and celebrate
each other
with undemanding love
when we do

​where the hell did you come from?

my callow frame in younger days
was cause for derision and nick names
i was “will o the wisp”
who disappeared when side-ways
magically reappearing when front on

i was lean and keen
a blonde-haired light surfing machine
now when side-ways there is a bump
a belly **** that wasn’t there before

was it habitually too much lunch
that steadily grew the paunch?
was it all those beers and cheers
over the years and years?
was it the invisible slide to a life sedentary
that expanded organs alimentary?
or is it a denial of my peter pan myth
that with age i just have to put up with?

anyway suddenly it seems to have come
but where the hell did it come from?

​
we always connected
we felt it right away
how our spirits smiled
when we first met that day

i know you well now
when all is said and done
i even know how your toes
point down when you come

now we are good friends
which is how it should be
keeping our distance but
there's ever possibility

when you come close now
a mission i am on
to touch, to taste and join you
in genital frisson

​
rather than navigate the
perilous straights of truth
you wade in shallow waters
of irrelevance, in a hi-viz safety vest

you can't talk of risk
when you have wasted your life
in banality

pretending as the arbiter
of decorum and manners
while committing the cardinal offence
of being boring

feeling resentful when people
don't listen to you,
so you club them
with corrective self righteousness

making a big deal of
breaches of protocol
as though it matters

you are vigilant about
inconsequential detail
the extent of your control

you dedicate your life to
rules and values made by others
rather than imagine other ways

our fate is the same though
all of us die

but I ... will live madly
with the thrill  of a life
without restraint
burning for beauty

forget perfect
my friends
as we manifest
our aspirations
it's about the journey
not the score card

i don't understand
slavish worship
of big data
like it was
a big mama
of truth? streuth!
more data won't
help discernment

this is not science
and way less than perfect
yet slavishly we
attend our screens
providing metadata more
hash tag what for?

while barnsey
cried like a refugee
i ate like one this week
a statement of support
for those not as lucky
about the lottery
of this global inequity
a little lesson for me
well fed and free
in knowing food
in knowing gratitude
in knowing hunger
in knowing anger
in knowing want
and saying don't
dismiss humanity
not as free
a glimpse for me
a little empathy
for life as refugee

time to stop
hunker down
withdraw
think
reflect
celebrate silence
hibernate
conserve
hug
roast
contemplate
regenerate
sleep­
dream
breathe fresh air
enjoy winter
the quiet season

was one of those nights
of deep dream descent

as i awoke
the daylight broke
the subconscious swirl
and i feel stubble on my chin
while that was growing i
let another world in
where

i danced with demons
while under the covers
journeyed with phantoms
past people and lovers
out of place and out of time
giving me crazy stories
so lyrical and surprising
i wondered if they were mine

i love the chance
to join this nightly dance
with my unchained mind
to set it free
to play care free in
my rich dream land

see you there again tonight?

what is it about water
so calming and meditative?

spent most of my life looking at it
bringing on muse and contemplation

watching the flow lines
of surfers at wave play
or

gazing at
the ancient river red gums
bowing to the muddy Murrumbidgee
in reverent silence

and now watching
the flowing gutters
and umbrella parade
over a beer
in a Newtown bar

water makes me wonder
in a peaceful way
of the beauty in the world
like the dancing air-borne plastic bag
in American Beauty

the merry chase
is not a waste
if love and passion
are to your taste
the gifts you gave
are now shared
and I am now
to be compared
we went to places
now special and ours
they are sacred
in memory bowers
we freed each other
making love more true
especially when it
doesn't own you

as people come
into my game
it becomes their game
along with all the baggage
that they carry

but it really is
only a shared moment
a temporal unowned event
an ephemeral collective experience
not to be taken seriously

my game is then
only what I bring to it
a performance
in that moment
best played
with energy
with authenticity
with serendipity

now that we know
   the truth of our connection
   the instant bond of our spirits
   the strength of our friendship
   the embers of ****** celebration

let me fan
   your fire
let me be
  the servant of your desire
let me plunge
  the depths of your passion
let me be
   the Lord of your mansion
let me explore
   the valleys of your being
let me be in
   your valleys and ceiling
let me take
   your hand
let me be
   your man
as we climb and stand
   at the peak of your demand
let us explode
   at a height
   with all of our might
till we subside and melt
   with all that we felt
   in post ******* lava

then let me look into your eyes
   complicit with our prize
   of love without bounds
   of love without borders
  of pure love confirmed

unconfined and not contained
free to roam
   every domain
for our foundation
   will ever remain

Lately I feel
I am being crushed
between tectonic plates
of Impossibility

The advice of those around
contradictory and senseless
The constraints offered
leave no possible solution

Then I see
that it's not me
The game they gave
has no salve

I'm in the wrong game
This game is actually
Theirs

as the day has left me
love is still there
for special ones
I thank these inspirations
for love's desire
invigorates and sustains
this weary soul

So I look forward
to being together soon
with company
who make me whole

Now to croon this tune
to a crescent moon
to telegraph it
to telepath it
Just to do this lifts me up
I believe my targets get it
even if they don't know it

I'm a love transmitter
a shining sun
in a world that's done
having fun
because you have won
if you learn to love
Everyone

the man nearby on the train clacks his laptop offensively
like the annoyance of noisy writers in school exams
when I was stultified by writers block
I wonder what the black girl would taste like
passengers feed their fatness with crinkly cellephane food substitutes

did you have a good weekend?
conversation openers start to chorus
corporate cockwombles
talk in jargon tongues
as they sell their souls
to white shirt organisational ambition
common sense takes a back seat
in the street car of Progress
there's talk of profit and effiencies
from men who never made their wives moan
there's talk of scalability and security
from those who know nothing of flexibility and risk
there's talk of innovation
from those whose personal best
is a smart phone

have you seen the latest?
what do you think?
hey, that's what I think!
we must be brothers!
in a cozy co-ordinated mediocrity.

not long ago
I met woman with a secret
we talked ideas and shared words
she lent me a book and gave me
movies she had made
we met a few times and discussed things
once I said that I was a bit down
she said "We have to be positive"

now she's dead
that was her C secret
nobody knew but one good friend
who found my number on her phone

so I say thank you
to the world
for people like that
in my life
who create gifts
rather than gripe

margaret you really mattered
to me

early morning thoughts
are blended with
murmurations of dream residue

the hard reality of my wheels on the road
is questioned by
frangible doubts of which is which

the fancies and specters of last night
are still in mind
along with getting-ready logistics
rude reality versus reluctance to focus
subconscious freedoms versus routine rigor

riding my bike too soon from sleep and
I just don't wanna know any more

the adventure starts every day
enjoy each moment in every way
you go, ever with my love
but thoughts of you come every day