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May 2018 · 634
To Tell You The Truth
mitus May 2018
To tell you the truth, it's you I miss.
To tell you the truth, it's you I want to kiss.
To tell you the truth, I still reminisce.
To tell you the truth, I am lost in my own abyss.

Truth be told,
The future I hold,
My sorrow cold,
Wisdom old,
My life sold.

Beyond my heart,
I fall apart,
Our souls compart,
And a difficult new start.
May 2018 · 335
all happening so fast
mitus May 2018
pretty girls snappin' away
straight ******* pretending they're gay

outside, older men catcall
in my room, i silently bawl

funny girls tweeting for fun
300 retweets make them stun

8 year old boys know what moaning is
thinks it's funny, making their girls his

school playground's bully is big
peer pressures nerd in taking a swig

movies in Hollywood are less dramatic than my life
when will the end come to this strife
Apr 2018 · 169
9:25
mitus Apr 2018
you asked me what was wrong, as if you knew something had happened
you questioned if it was something you said, or did
you knew it was your fault
you apologized
i said nothing.
I don't know..
Apr 2018 · 594
Worthless
mitus Apr 2018
He has a heart I don't mind breaking.
Apr 2018 · 331
Massacre of Feelings
mitus Apr 2018
The Massacre of Feelings began not long ago,
Throughout the tall trees, woodland creatures and doe.
Magical skies flickered bright stars for show,
Once picture perfect, favorite photo.

Many have tried, wanting another chance,
Lies and truths spread around and danced.
Every single fib new and enhanced,
Looking to be more advanced.

Trinkets and trophies all present win,
Guilt and grief wanders my skin,
Thinking about what has caused sin,
The story has yet to begin.

Not enough time, too much to tell
Special powers, alluring spell.
Instead of staying caged in dwell,
Finish to start, who's to yell?

Misery provokes sadness and sob,
Which only leads my heart to throb,
Slowly and carefully turning the ****,
Revealing the truth to why we sob.

The Massacre of Feelings returns each year,
Me, myself, I, always living in fear.
What's one or two bottles of wicked *** beer,
Whatever will help me stop the tears.

Cheated a glorious life without hurt,
Should've never believed its worth,
Confidently willing to assert,
One of my many alerts.
We took a break today. 4/13/18
Mar 2018 · 294
Burden
mitus Mar 2018
I just cried.. again..
Seems like it never ends.
I thought I was okay,
But my mind could debate.

Every moment
I feel so broken,
My devotion,
Misfortune emotion.

Every moment
My feelings closest,
Roaming,
Zoning..
Uncondoning.

I'll always stay wishing,
I'll think about all the chances I'm missing,
The factors I'm risking.
The stories I'm twisting,
And the life I'm not living.
Mar 2018 · 185
Miles..
mitus Mar 2018
I don't want to be dramatic
But my feelings are static.
No one could compete to what we once had,
So where did I go wrong, where did we go bad?
Maybe it's better we don't talk for the time being,
I'm not proving anything, guaranteeing..
I'm just seeing,
You disagreeing,
Maybe we'll both feel free after.
Maybe I'll finally be able to obtain laughter,
Or smiles,
And try new styles.
As much as it pains me to see you hurt,
For what's it worth,
I'd go miles,
For you.
Mar 2018 · 342
Cons
mitus Mar 2018
Why am I always so sad
When nothing is wrong?
I don't have a reason to live.
I don't understand
I've been feeling this way for so long,
Please just make it stop,
But instead of expressing my feelings,
I write poetry with skittish slang,
Foul language,
The phone ringing and ringing till it only rang..
Is poetry my disadvantage?
Mar 2018 · 306
How
mitus Mar 2018
How
How do you just disappear within moments?
How do you just let go of someone who was once the closest?
How do you just stay alive without feeling broken?
How do you just bare being your best while feeling your lowest?
How can i show my fullest extent of being potent,
at times like this?
Mar 2018 · 323
I'm Okay, Okay?
mitus Mar 2018
For those who worry,
don't.

My nature is poetry,
To hurt myself I could, but won't.

All I do is write and write until I can't anymore,
But once that fuel dies out, the words become an eyesore.

It's hard to put feelings into words,
but poetry often symbolizes miswords.

So I'm sorry if you don't understand,
But nothing bad is planned,
I follow rules but no command.
Lastly, I do not feel stranded on an island.

So for those who worry,
don't.

My nature is poetry,
To hurt myself I could, but won't.
Mar 2018 · 317
It's Not You, It's Me
mitus Mar 2018
The tears in my eyes have not yet to fall
Because I remember when I do cry, I don't cry but bawl.
Then I structure and build a great wall
And grow and grow in reverse, anything but big, oh so small.

The hair in my face still glistens as it snows
My blinking eyes flicker at the reminder that it's me you chose.
The cheeks on my face as red as a rose,
But thoughts in my mind, as they quickly slow.

Makes me wonder, what are our plans?
Will you leave as the tears on my face dance?
Would you ever give me a second or third or fourth chance?
Will there ever be another incident where we touch hands?

Am I overthinking already?
I'm so sorry, I'll try and go steady.
My thoughts can be so destructive and deadly.
But I can promise you that someday I'll be ready.
I promise it's me.
Mar 2018 · 406
For However Many
mitus Mar 2018
For however many petals I've picked,
For however many spells I've wicked,
For however many clocks I've ticked,
For however many needles I've pricked,
I still think about you.
I still think about you but not in the same sense.
Mar 2018 · 296
sick
mitus Mar 2018
i am SICK of myself for trusting you over and over
and over
and over
and over
and OVER AGAIN
i am SICK of all the lies i believed
i am SICK of the time wasted on you
i am SICK of wanting you
i am SICK of thinking and thinking and thinking
of what i could've done better
of what i messed up on
of what i did wrong
so can you PLEASE tell me
because i am just so sick of this
I am so tired.
Feb 2018 · 658
weak
mitus Feb 2018
as frail the flower
the petals are power
a melody not yet scoured
the sunlight much devoured

pick the petals, one by one
save or throw until you've won
as dismay it seems, do not run
for a blossom may stun

be careful to remember the thorns that groove the stem
they ***** blood or lust, whichever appears within the gem
confide in this mayhem
whether or not displayed condemn

lastly, lovely leaves line before the rest
swaying slowly but together, a cozy fest
within seconds an unexpected guest,
arrives to thieve potent pollen inside the nest.
mitus Feb 2018
YOU are the reason I CRY
YOU are the reason I want to DIE
YOU are the reason I cannot TRY anymore.

you
           Y
                 O
                        U
YOU

YOU ARE MY WORST FLAW
YOU only ever liked me RAW
YOU scratched my back with your ratchet CLAW
YOU only ever liked me in my BRA, exposed.

Why did I ever fall for YOU?

YOU are one of the many millions of fish.
YOU were one of my favorites meal dish.
YOU were the only one who ever received my wish.

YEAH! YOU!
YOU don't even CARE.
Without YOU, I might not BARE.
I am so lonely, too many to count, a BLANK STARE.
It's like you never even wanted to SHARE either.

GOD! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?
I must never be good enough.
Why are you like this but why am I like this?
Feb 2018 · 2.2k
Pretty Princess Ugly Flaws
mitus Feb 2018
Pretty Princess in Pink
Pretty Princess Don’t Shrink
Pretty Princess Stained Ink
Pretty Princess Fatal Brink

Pretty Princess in Blue
Pretty Princess Don’t Chew
Pretty Princess Mixed Too
Pretty Princess Fatal Clue

Pretty Princess in Black
Pretty Princess Don’t Crack
Pretty Princess Stained Tack
Pretty Princess Fatal Hack

Pretty Princess in White
Pretty Princess Don’t Fight
Pretty Princess Mixed Light
Pretty Princess Fatal Sight
I hope the message is clear.
Feb 2018 · 862
Just a Kiss
mitus Feb 2018
Just a kiss, buttercup
Remember not to **** me up.
Maybe it’d be best, to promise
Just one kiss.

Strangers after all don’t have business with each other.
That’s what mother
Said.
It will always wander in my head.

But little by little
My hands would fiddle
Every single **** time I saw you.
But knowing you’d never be able to come through.

Our promise broke and one kiss led to two.
Then three.
And so forth.
God, I shouldn’t have trusted myself with you.

The last time our lips felt each other
Was when your girlfriend caught us under your covers.

She came by with a surprise
But left with numerous lies and sobbing eyes.

You yell at me.
“Stupid ***** couldn’t keep her mouth shut.” Yell he.

I too, left with sobbing eyes.
Then despise.
And a part of me dies.

Ever since we stopped this secret
My weakness
Is you.
But I can’t do this,
I have to stop thinking about your kiss.
The thoughts continue to spew.

This is wrong.
I should have realized sooner you were just playing a puppet’s song.
Feb 2018 · 225
Not Suicidal, Just Tired
mitus Feb 2018
It's not that I want to **** myself,
Because I don't,
I really don't
I don't want to **** myself,
And I won't.
It's just that I don't care anymore.
And it sounds bad now but you'll surely understand why,
It's not a must -- that I don't care anymore
but all I do is cry
I am so, so tired.
And the thoughts in my brain are all so together planned and wired.
I don't know how to keep up
I want to keep up
I don't know what I want, honestly I don't
But I promise you that I'm trying so please believe me as my feelings pile up,
As I believe I'm such a ***** up,
As I believe I should just shut up,
As I believe I should stop complaining and grow up.
Rough times..
Feb 2018 · 176
Splintered
mitus Feb 2018
How could someone so pretty turn out to be so ugly?
Feb 2018 · 289
Mind
mitus Feb 2018
why couldn't you have just stayed my crush
..
Feb 2018 · 380
i promise.
mitus Feb 2018
i promise you im trying
i know its not visible and i keep crying
and you always tell me what not to do, then i do it, and there you go, back to sighing
he keeps lying
but i keep prying
inside i am dying
but please promise me that you know im trying
Feb 2018 · 771
aggressive poetry
mitus Feb 2018
i hate you more than i hate MYSELF
don't you see what you've done?
NO
YOU DO N ' T
because you dont pay attention to the hearts you break!
I hate you.
Feb 2018 · 237
more crying
mitus Feb 2018
All you had to do was pretend to care for me and you couldn't even do that.
There are too many things going on right now but I miss you, even though I shouldn't. 2/8
Feb 2018 · 520
last breath of his
mitus Feb 2018
am i stoic
for not feeling anything when in the presence of death
for not feeling anything when knowing it was his last breath
am i sick
for my heart not enduring pain
for my heart disconnecting with my brain
is it heroic
for my own body not to go through the stages
for my own body to be trapped in its plentiful cages
will it click
that he's actually gone
that i should be drawn
to it?
My grandpa died today. 2/8
mitus Feb 2018
.1. Your eyes glimmer and beam when you talk about something you're passionate in. The rest of the world needs to view that beauty your voice speaks when the potential flows out of your mouth like tiny ballet dancers frolicking over your lips. Those lips touch together every time you say 'M' and now you're trying to see if you can say it without closing your lips. The curiosity of a young toddler trapped inside your body that must be discovered so before that happens, you will stay alive.

2. Your feet spring around from time to time because you're either excited or anxious; or both. The ground has savored every single moment your feet taps its skin, the cracks in the pavements have relished the instant your feet stumble against the stone pelt. Even so, just the movement of your body in contact with its exterior is appreciated.

3. Your hair bounces when you bob your head to music. Those perfect waves and curls, those bangs that hide your delicate face understands your sadness; why you're listening to that song or that rage and anger that persuades you to yell and cry. It's just a moment and you will get through it.

4. Your hands, as they write rhymes and comments and stories and virtues about life. Your radiant but soft complexion reflects the silence you have brought upon yourself. Your voice tells you to pipe up but nothing comes out. Promise yourself that you will not suffer in silence but paradise in flamboyant noise.

5. Your stomach that metabolizes; constantly at work to process the fuel that keeps you alive. The same stomach that plays perfect outside but loosens inside. The one perfect enough as you are, but displays your decisions.

6. Your arms lift you up each and every day.
7. Your waist who reminds you that you are perfect and worth it.
8. Your knees, elbows, and wrists that help you move; leaving you in pain or lively motion; or in relaxed gestures.

9. Your heart; your heart is on fire and you would need not one, but two buckets of water to even try extinguishing it. Burning with eagerness and love, no hate settling within. That heart, that keeps pumping and pumping, never allowing you to weaken and perish.

10. Your body; that does everything it possibly can to keep you alive.
Feb 2018 · 372
I Wish I Could
mitus Feb 2018
I wish I could write better poems,
The kind that everybody could enjoy, not necessarily relate to.
I write poems about the explosion of emotions,
The kind where words left and right are skewed.

I wish I could be a trendsetter,
But most days I can't even get up from bed.
I cry into my hole-filled sweater
And continue to view nothing but dread.

I wish I could feel feelings the way people do,
But I find it hard at times.
I wish I was normal and could get through
But all I have are my rhymes.
I wish I could but I can't.
Feb 2018 · 377
no time for me
mitus Feb 2018
you only make time for me when it's too late
This continuous Hell is not good for my health.
mitus Feb 2018
why am i still crying over YOU
I dumped YOU
you weren't good for me
i want to stop please
i hate this
i hate you
please
im de spera te
i cant help it
i think about you
so much
too much
I can't keep up.
Jan 2018 · 347
let me
mitus Jan 2018
let me place my finger on the dot
let me bring out the heart that you shot
let me visit the soul that does rot
let me remember the arguments we fought
let me remind you that you speak and feel like a robot
let me let you remember the lessons i taught
Jan 2018 · 149
thoughts #1
mitus Jan 2018
i dont know what ive done
but i know i havent won
away is where i want to run
maybe then i can actually feel something, something fun.
maybe ill be happy seeing the sun
but my thoughts have already spun
to my head should i place a gun?
Jan 2018 · 199
It was only four months.
mitus Jan 2018
It was only four months
but it felt like forever
and i'd miss you so much
but my heart was already severed
though i knew i had to move on
i never wanted to end it with you, never

It was only four months
and we saw each other about 9 times throughout that span
you stole my heart like kidnapping a child with candy and a van
i knew you and i had some sort of plan
but with the time i'd gone without you i couldnt stand

It was only four months
but i couldn't do it anymore
you made me bored
taking care of you felt like a chore
you never gave but you always wanted more
But you told me you love me like the ocean loves the shore
And to me you swore
you would never intentionally make me sob on the floor
my eyes are so sore
with my tears continuing to pour
and my heart that you tore
am i just a score
to you?
Actually, it was only like 5 or 6 times I got to meet up with him.
Jan 2018 · 193
The Concept Of Death
mitus Jan 2018
As a society, we're all so scared of dying
My own body cannot survive when theories begin applying
But the concept of death
Shows one's last breath
Six feet under
Makes me wonder,
What is so frightening?
The situation only becomes more heightening,
The unwanted feeling of leaving,
Causes someone to start grieving.
Five stages too long
I definitely am not that strong,
Will I ever get through it?
Through all this ****?
Before I commence a dying fit?
Maybe, maybe not
For now, my soul will rot
Until I receive a solution
And die from attribution.
Jan 2018 · 388
To: You.
mitus Jan 2018
Crying, crying,
Better off dying.
Unexpected events,  
Tears supplement.
Migraines form,
Friendships storm.
Too old for games,
Never old for pain.
I'll be a ***** to talk to someone twice younger than me,
I'm sure there is one escape plan I can think of, you see.
Most of you are thirteen years old but yet we experience the same thing.
Chirp, chirp, chirp is what the caged bird wanted to sing.
He's lost his chance to chirp, but so have I.
I just don’t want to say my final goodbye.
It's been six minutes already since he's said, "Wait, just give me a chance to explain myself."
But I just want to scavenge the bathroom shelf.
Little bottles and magic pills,
Is where all the truths have spilled.
My teenage angst has caught up to my sins, my soul, and my heart.
Finally, will it run up to my breath and finish the start?
Tell me it will not.
For I will believe you that my arteries will not clot.
I hate the way when I get too attached,
Then too collapsed.
I hate the way when I get too emotional,
Then too unapproachable.
I hate the way when I get too paranoid,
Then too destroyed.
I hate the way I talk to you,
The way I fiddle my hands and twitch my lips.
The way I remove myself from groups just to be with you.
The way I play with my hair and feel the need to throw up.
I hate the way I want you,
Lustfully, and love-fully.
I hate the way I need you,
From the dangerous plead.
This is all going too fast, please reverse this speed.
I can't go on for much longer, but who would know,
For all that I feel
is within the unknown.
Jan 2018 · 174
Intimate
mitus Jan 2018
Drip drop
Drip drop
The sound of an empty cloud top
The air is anything but loud
Although it speaks so proud
The wind recites particles
Full of several articles
Spelling out its love for the sky
Dec 2017 · 313
Good Mistakes Happen
mitus Dec 2017
I’m glad I met you
I’m glad we split
I gave you a nickname and I called you boo
It was cute until that very day that you hit
Me.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,”
I cried
To myself
“This is the way it’s supposed to be.”
It was hard to see the light that day

I’m glad I met you
I’m glad we split
I no longer pick up your phone calls at two am
You sob and plead and beg me back
I disagree and do not crack

Here we are, once again
You show up at my door
And swear in vain
I slam the door
And your heart breaks
I don’t mind
For you hurt me
I wish for you to no longer plea
As I will press charges against thee

You come back
I stand away
You hold a rusty pipe found by the corner coming up the staircase
You strike me right in the face
You continue to beat me
With no remorse
I force
My way elsewhere from you maniac
You flee
I curl up in the closet near the pile of your *****, old shirts
I should’ve burned a long time ago
My neighbors find me
Soaked in dried, scarlet red, blood
They know no English
And scream in Spanish
“¡Juan, llama a la policía! Tenemos que ayudar a Missy a salir del armario.”
I feel her large body swish around paper towels and wet them with tap water
She returns back with aspirin and everything she could to
Help me?
“No no no no no NO. Quédate quieto, no retrocedes. La ambulancia estará aqui pronto.”
Frustration occurs.

You return
Couple weeks later,
See me in pain
I call you insane
You are documented
Not only am I fermented
But my wish came true
For you are an official abuser and violator.

For when I see my last true light
I will always finish this fight.
So I’m glad I met you
I’m glad we split
Next time bud,
Stick to the script.
Dec 2017 · 625
Charging Your Phone
mitus Dec 2017
You said you were charging your phone
But I miss you because you are my own.

And I wonder what you were doing for those three hours
I was asleep.
I was sad when I saw you didn’t text me.
So to conclusions I leap.

And those three hours
You could’ve spammed me with “hey babe” or “babyyyy”
But you didn’t.
And I wish you did, maybe.

Those two hours
That I ignored you
You should’ve marveled why I did that, boo.

And next, the one hour
I texted my friend.
She said if I was angry at you, I should text you sour.
It was true.

For ten minutes,
You didn’t respond
Please know your limits.
It was sadness beyond.

For the time you replied,
I ignored you for two minutes.
I sighed because
You said you were charging your phone.
But I miss you because you are my own.
mitus Nov 2017
When the quiet girl stands up
She warbles the constant messages her mind signals
Her head is filled with demons, darkness, and sudden shivers
Built with waking up even though she feels much more significant when she lays asleep
Grilled with details about not killing herself because that is selfish
Not killing herself because it is simply but a mere problem and she should build a bridge and get over it
Not killing herself because there are so many wonderful, new opportunities that awaits her.
But when the quiet girl stands up
She is unfulfilled
Unfulfilled and unsatisfied
No, those two words do not mean the same thing, they are synonyms to one another.
She says,
“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to **** herself isn’t selfish.”
She says,
“When she’s  surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when she’s by herself.”
“Do you know why?” She asks.
“Do you know anything about depression, about having the depths of depression, the epiphany of blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness grabbing her soul into a deep, dark pit of despair feels like?”
“Do you know why people feel this way?”
She says,
“Ask her. Ask her how it feels like and you won’t get an answer but a stare. You’ll get a stare because there is no direct solution as to why she has depression. She just does.”
She says,
“Every single time she raises her voice and bellow down to the faceless fiend feeding on her fallible mind, she cannot capture the moment or the focus or the fking reason why there is an anonymous ghoul resting upon her brain.”
She says,
“The brutal brute that lays a nest in her mind spreads his eggs and continues to make a mass production. ‘There cannot be room for any positivity!’ he recited. She waits and waits and waits until she wants to die, until she wants to be gone and get rid of herself and make the world a better place.”
She says,
“The brute does not care who she is or the extraordinary things she has done. The brute does what he wants and until he is done, she will be gone.”
She says,
“She will be gone because she cannot thrive within herself. She is losing sleep, not eating, and most importantly, not talking. That’s why she’s so f
king quiet. So the next time you ask her to talk, remind yourself that there are things that you do not understand and have to learn. Remind yourself that you cannot say ‘Just think positively’ or ‘It’s all in your head’ because that does not work. So the next time you speak to her, respect her.”
Nov 2017 · 1.2k
Big frog, little frog
mitus Nov 2017
Big frog, little frog
It’s okay if people don’t love
Big frog, little frog
Don’t frown

Big frog, little frog
It’s okay if parents don’t appreciate
Big frog, little frog
Don’t cry

Big frog, little frog
It’s okay if friends don’t care
Big frog, little frog
Don’t bawl

Big frog, little frog
It’s okay if families don’t want
Big frog, little frog
Don’t weep

Big frog, small frog
You can do it.
Nov 2017 · 172
Green Faced Mice
mitus Nov 2017
Bright red
Comfortable bed
The green faced mice said,
“We’re here for you. Don’t dread.”

Open eyes
You won’t die
You’re alright
They said,
“Don’t fright.”

Wide awake
“We won’t take.
We don’t break.
Can’t be fake.”
This is not a mistake

Eyes shut
They strut
In my head
The green faced mice said,
“We’re here for you. Don’t dread.”

— The End —