...
Second of all, I wish you encounter all the kindness, all the sun rays, all the beauty there is out there. May happiness bless your heart in every way possible. May nature kiss you fondly. I hope you find what you wish to hold and lose what is keeping you in a cage. If you find flowers remember me and smile. If you find a man who sells balloons, take one, tell it the secrets you'd wish to send away and let it go in India's sky.
Much much love to you. Sending you all the protective thoughts I can send you.
Stay safe like a woman would, go wild like a kid would, be strong like the man you are.



- LynnAA

She drowns her neck in perfume
And turns in circles around herself
To inhale the scent
That she will forsake
On his skin
Tonight.




-LynnAA

Breathe.
Flowers don't hurt.
Flowers are soft and elegant.
They are wild and rare.
They're delicate and addictive.

Flowers fill your heart and tickle your nostrils.
Flowers heal your pain and feed your love.

Breathe.
I'm holding a flower right to your heart.
Breathe.
Breathe in.
Let the petals caress your nose.
Let your eyelashes hold the petals.
Let your skin feel it.
Feel.
Close your eyes and feel.
The flower resonates with your heart.

Flowers don't hurt.
And I'm giving you my flower.



- LynnAA

You're an ***
And a ****
And a lover
And a home
And too many things my heart didn't know of



- LynnAA

You smell something between laundry detergent and borrowed cigarettes.



- LynnAA

Demi-plié. Tendu.
Relevé. Passé. Développé.
Souplesse. Cambré.
All day. Everyday.
Until I step on stage and get blinded by par lights.
Until my tutu twirls and my pointe shoes die.
Until I do my reverence and hear the audience clap.
Everything can be taken away from me
Except for my body covered in a leotard.



- LynnAA

We are sitting on a rug and lots of pillows watching a movie projected on a white wall
And I can feel the overflow of light hitting our backs so strongly
I look at one of my hairs, the light is striking it and crossing it
I look at my hand and I see it laying over your chest and clinging to it
I see your shirt and how it moves with your breathing
I see you blink your eyes, cross your legs, fix your hair, adjust your position...
I see you wrap your arm around me, pull me closer, bring me to you...
I see you unaware of me being mindful of a movie of my own that you weren't watching:
Our bodies under the soft light of the ever so magical 24 frames per second.



- LynnAA

You got used to my absence.
My absence doesn't affect you.



- LynnAA

Yes, I know that some nights I cross your mind and I know you still love me - with all the concepts you assign to that feeling, to which I don't necessarily agree, but I do think about you as well, and love you my way, not yours.
You might carry me with you forever. I hope you will. I hope my home in you has a garden planted with flowers, with a beautiful little home and a nice veranda to sit there with you in the sun whenever you visit me.
I will carry you with me, until I'm old and senile and start to forget everything, even my sons' names, but not you.
Your home in me now is surrounded by thorn wires, but the day will come when the war will be over and I'll plant you a garden full of trees to shade you.
As for now, I'm accepting my war, because you are the war.



- LynnAA

If she doesn't talk to you
If he leaves meaningless messages
If they use the same words
If she colours the same way
If he creates layers
If they act kind, even though they really are
If she pokes you constantly
If he looks at you always
If they keep you away
If she can see you
If he can't see you
If they pretend they don't care
If she shoots the same sunsets
If he dips his feet in the same sea
If they talk to the same flower
If she makes sure to know everything
If he chooses to know nothing
If they choose what to know and ignore what should be ignored
If she rages
If he looks calm
If they take roles, to impose strength
If she looks like a lion
If he is as big as a whale
If they mark their territories
Know that
None of these are real
None of these are true
None of these keep peace
None of these make you grow
All of these are inner fights
All of these are loops
All of these are grudges held within
All of these are closures that never happened
All of these are simply echoes that we are deaf to
They are echoes that make us go as mute as the wind in summer, if there was ever any wind.
Once you know that all you should do is pour your heart out, every other venomous act will dissolve into non-existence.
Be kind to yourself, and grant yourself a closure.



- LynnAA

...
No small football fields near us anymore.
No 2a.m. talks, lying on the grass, talking about the arabic language and listening to Alt-J's new releases, or Milky Chance's Blossom or Bruno Mars' That's What I Like.
No more passionate kisses as a stranger watches us, wishing he was you and I was on top of him.
...
Sometimes life belongs to us for momentary moments only.
And I'm happy that not so long ago, it belonged to me - once again.
...
And yes, nothing lasts, but if we can lie in new sheets again, or go on long car rides or ride your bike nowhere or meet for breakfast after you entice people's dilated pupils; if we could find our new bed of grass again with our same old music, we could make life belong to us again.
...
Meet me half way, D.



- LynnAA

He was there
Black bearded,
Turning her on
With a voice
That gets hold of her system
Like *****
And sends her tripping
On waves she will never ride
And grounds she will never walk on




-LynnAA

Because I know I need a shelter when mine crumbles
Weakness is a disease that makes us estranged from ourselves and seeking a home other than our own bodies and minds can heal us
When nothingness starts bedding in the heart, we all need someone to push us to feel
When we are obliged to be stuck where we never belonged, even someone's chair to sleep on would make us happy
It's true, we are strong on our own, but our strength attracts weakness and with it the need to pull our hand out for help hoping someone would take it
And probably this is why I need you



- LynnAA

It is a sunset after a dance
A light leaking in in the morning on a bed that isn't yours
A child's happiness in the prairie
The first dip in the sea
The gradient line the sun leaves in the sky after it disappears
It is how the moon is always in the sky
It is late night rides filled with love after a very long day
It is dancing till you drowse, till you have no more feelings to give, till you feel the tear swallowing itself back into the ball of your eye
It is how the sea looks exactly the same on early morning hours and early evening hours
A moment of extreme tiredness and you can sleep anywhere that supports your head
A realization that people you care about are looking for the exact same thing you're looking for
A bike ride
The longest way home
A cup of vanilla latte
A cup of almond milk
A kind cab driver that would make a turn so you won't have to cross the street

It is all around you if you look closely
Happiness is next to you if you choose to see it



- LynnAA

My solitude is your bait

You come back
Because I can still be glued to you
Like your cigarette did to your mouth
The only time I slept on your chest




-LynnAA

He lost his tight grip over his
Glass of Cabernet Sauvignon
And it fell right at her feet.
She looked down at her white dress
Now stained with Sauvignon
She looked back at him
He was holding a glass of Merlot now
And this time he let it go intentionally.
She looked down at the floor
Shattered crystal sparkled
Like millions of stars
In an unwavering galaxy.
She looked back at him
He took her dress off
Laid it neatly on the floor
And went away.
He came back with a Pinot Noir bottle now
But she was gone.
Nonetheless
He spilled the whole bottle
On what was left of her white dress.




-LynnAA

I'm driving on a road that leads me to your house and I feel your presence on it and the prints of your tires.
You fill up my head. Now all I can think about is what if I call you right now and tell you that it's easy for me to reach you.
But I don't. Because I have to find home. I have to go home.



- LynnAA

What if, the secrets and answers lie in me?
I love myself,
I find myself,
And become enough for my own self.
No heaviness, no sadness, no ambiguous questions, no self-inflicted madness, no what if's, no imagining scenarios, no feeding sugar to my thoughts, no harm in being alone with my feelings.
What if, I am my sole saviour?
I would have to do nothing but redeem myself, because I should, because it's the law of the jungle - I get my own prey, I am my own alpha wolf, I lead my own pack.



- LynnAA

Hide me in a man's skin and I'll show you what a woman really is.



- LynnAA

We were sleeping next to each other
I can't remember if we had any clothes on
It didn't matter then.
I fell asleep on your shoulder
While you were reading Ionesco out loud for me
I woke up on your voice
Reading the last page
You told me it was a good book
Then you disturbed my happiness off your shoulder
And grabbed another book
Which title I can't recall at the moment
You pulled me back on your shoulder
I took the book
I wanted to read out loud for you this time
You smiled
The idea of it made you happy
I read on and on
Stopping every once in a while to let you know of how unappealing my English accent sounds
But you smiled and said
"No, not at all.
On the contrary, I'm really enjoying this.
Continue."
And so I did
Till chapter 6, page 25
Then you took the book off my hands
Put it down on the floor
Hugged me and said
"It was absolutely lovely
Let's sleep now."




-LynnAA

I wear my night gown and go to sleep.
You were already sleeping with the moonlight leaking in, shading your traits.
I kiss your forehead and tuck myself under the sheets.
The next morning I wake up and it wasn't you sleeping next to me.



- LynnAA

All I hear them talking is blablabla, gibberish, sounds I don't recognise, letters I have never pronounced, words that have no similarity to mine
All I hear them talking is another language that sets me in a box of my own no matter how close they are to me, even if their skin is on mine, even if they're talking about me and I have no clue that they are
And sometimes I just love it, being alone in this crowd, being my own island
Now I know what Bukowski means
They remain nothing but a noise in my background that I'd wish, so sincerely, to turn off



- LynnAA

In that moment, I was so happy to be here I cried
Then I folded some laundry, put everything back to its place, packed my stuff, hanged the keys on the front door and left.
My skirt felt lighter, played along with my legs as I was walking down the stairs.
I was lighter - my *******, my hair, my arms, my ribs, my sole, my toes, even my heart was lighter.



- LynnAA

I'll draw a Poppy on my back and leave you to linger there, in oblivion, where you belong.
You have been a smile.
You have been love.
You have been tears of sadness mingled with happiness.
You have been too many injections of *****.
You have been seasonal - Spring.
You have been intensely red with all the barriers you made me cross.
You have been wilderness.
When I'll look at myself in the mirror,
I'll look like love,
I'll look like Spring,
I'll look like adventures and wilderness,
I'll look like ***** and Poppies,
I'll look like you.
I'll retrieve you from my oblivion and I'll smile at the thought of you who have always existed in the back of my head
Not only because I love you, but because you were, for once in my life, a symbol of truth.
But today, I'll let you go.
...



- LynnAA

Flashes of images.
Lost and reconstructed.
Arbitrary memories.
Words, people, places, actions and feelings stored for rememberance or oblivion.

Flashes of images.
Deformed by desires.
Revoked to feel.
A dream wide awake.
A passageway into the past to escape the present.

Flashes of images.
Shelter of secrets.
Short, re-acted and unclear.
Abstract yet vivid.
Unreachable but so very near.
A black hole that ***** you into another dimension then spits you out.



- LynnAA

Tell me,
Does my innocent-looking face
Tell you that I am a descendant of God?

But you're wrong, dear.
Don't you know?
The devil hides in the most
Silent places.

... You're alone in the jungle.
Don't wait, don't wish, you'll be deceived.
If you see a prey, attack.



- LynnAA

Say hello to the monsters.
The ones that bed in you,
The ones that reveal themselves
The ones that turn into one
And the ones that find you.

Monster n°1 / The Fake One
This monster would want to prove itself and will use you because it can't depend on itself due to its insecurities. It's easily detectable.
This one is the least harmless.
All you have to do is simply lose contact - it won't need you twice.

Monster n°2 / The Backstabber
The one that crawls behind your back and leaves prints with every step it takes.
This one is the most vulnerable.
All you have to do is turn around, catch it and watch it tremor in-between your fingers.

Monster n°3 / The One That Dances With Your Demons
This monster dancer would do anything to get under your skin and show you what you'd wish to see.
This one is the most naive.
All you have to do is notice how it agrees with you on everything that comforts you instead of everything that makes you step forward.

Monster n°4 / The Puller
This one acknowledges itself as a monster and would show you, with all its ways, a road that meets your eye, but effectively, this road would eventually lead them to their goals.
This one is physically the strongest.
All you have to do is be mentally stronger and K.O. it.

Monster n°5 / The Choker
This one is an alpha monster. Its aim is to destroy you. It knows your power well and would do anything to stop you. It will make you love it as it poisons you. It would wrap itself around your neck and you wouldn't even notice.
This one is the most dangerous.
You can do nothing about it but seek help from people that can save you from all of what that monster has drained you from.

Say hello again to these monsters.
Now that you know them, don't become one and don't let them in.



- LynnAA

Notre vin est rouge et nos levés de soleil sont rosés. Enivrons-nous.



--------------------



Our wine is red and our dawns are rose. Let's get drunk.



- LynnAA

I miss you.
Sometimes it's like that.
I do believe in the goodness in your heart, the care you held me in, the look that insisted ever so intensely that you love me
But love, we were only an experience.
I was supposed to come
I was supposed to go
And sometime, I miss you



- LynnAA

When cuddles turns into curfew and happiness into radicalism

-

When you can't let go of someone because it feels like a home you're about to rent.

-

Je te promets, si tes yeux caressent encore une fois mon corps, je m'en prendrai à tes lèvres comme une lionne qui s'est abandonnée à ta parade nuptiale.

-

We seek each other's lips and avoid each other's eyes.

-

To run away from the things we desire but can't have.

-

When people give you something nice to get used to, your life can become a mess, waiting for it everyday.

-

You make me want to wonder what you look like.

-

A sunset is an eternity with you.

-

We smell of love and violence.

-

You and I live in a bubble of dreams crushed by the reality of who we are.

-

Although we'll be strangers soon, he'll dream about me tonight.

-

We try to physically escape a cage that is in our mind.

-

Even when he calls me to tell me he loves me, he breaks my heart.

-

بدَّك تكون عَنيد؟ كون عنيد ع غيري




- LynnAA

She smiled
And just like Jesus
She held her arms wide open
Thinking she could be my saviour too. Once again.
But Sweetie, even if your chain still adorns your neck
And your eyelashes still touch your eyelids
And your pants still heighten to your waist
And your tattoo still crosses your forearms,
Your mouth gagged lies
Your eyes burned in the void
And your neck was haunted by the absence of your perfume.




-LynnAA

And there I go again
As a whole
Shattered
And wrecked
Because this time
The little island
That I call heart
Isn't the sole erroneous fiend in me
This time I
As a whole
Was a behemoth

Your favorite Daniel's
Sobered love
And dizzied lust
In me
Set forth the sacrifice
And took no heed of the body
It benighted the wit
And enlightened the blind persuasion

Deceiver of hearts
Don't knock on my gullible door
If you don't intend to enter
I might meddle in you
While you make love to
Every Jack
That paces your way.




-LynnAA

He kindly refused
To have a drink with her
For he was physically drained
But he promised her
He'd take her this Tuesday
To the same place she suggested.

She smiled.

Then she felt that
That Tuesday would be
Like any other Tuesday:

Raw with his absence.




-LynnAA

Yes, I am crazy.
I am a fire, I do things I shouldn't do, I don't listen to good advises, I venture here and there, I listen to everyone and talk to no one, I touch people I shouldn't touch, I get undressed inappropriately, I run away to places only I know of, I lose myself in a long car ride, I always take the long way home when driving, I go to the beach and stay in the sea all day, I cut my hair when a story ends, or get a tattoo, I build walls in people's faces and destroy them when I feel comfortable around them, I spend more money than I make, I hop into strangers' cars everyday, I wear heels and go for long walks, I take routes that lead me to people I love, I sit on the edge of mountains with my legs hanging, I buy dance clothes and wear them everyday, I play songs I fall in love with on repeat for weeks, I yell out of happiness, I laugh oh so loud, ...
I am crazy because I can't be contained
I am crazy because I am curious about this world
I want to die with not a single "what if I had the courage?"
I apologize to those I hurt and will hurt
And I love back all those who fell in love with me
But most of all, I hope I grow through it all
I hope that, on my death bed, I can tell every crazy story to my sons and grand kids and die with a smile on my face, die happy, with all my memories flashing back inside my head.
I hope I become a fire that eats everything it meets and grows bigger and bigger, without burning, without leaving ashes behind, only bringing heat to those who have been feeling cold for a long while.



- LynnAA

I learned never to alert certain people when they're being disrespectful
- they don't care who they hurt and they'll disrespect you in return. No exceptions.
Not to mention the judgmental sheep that applaud for them. Yeah... Those people-oids will boost ****** egos higher down cracked soil.
Archaic humans don't deserve my time, they don't deserve kindness - they don't even know it exists.
Let them drown in their cynical tones and mental complexes on their own.



- LynnAA

Butterfly,
You are still beautiful,

Your hazel eyes are still extraterrestrial
Ultraviolet rays still penetrate them,
Whenever you look into the sun,
And they whisper to you
"Only torn eyes
Can draw people into them."
And so they do.
Ultraviolet rays tear your eyes,
Softly,
Dilating your pupils,
Feeling your iris,
Creating green craters
Only visible to the people who are drawn to your metamorphosis, little butterfly.



- LynnAA

She smells like a meadow of Jasmine trees
Soft breeze carrying off her scent
To the sun shining upon her
Making her floral skirt bloom
And her hair gleam
Like little raindrops
Pierced by a beam of sunlight

Dear sun, touch my neck
Inhale my Jasmines
Burn my hair
And let the breeze play with my skirt
So that my thighs can be kissed by you



-LynnAA

Let me tell you something, Sir

You are the reason of my endless waits.
You, Sir, are the reason
Women like me drink coffee at 10 p.m
Believing that maybe
Only maybe
I would hear your voice at 3 a.m
Before I unwillingly fall asleep at 3:10 a.m
To wake up the next morning cursing my coffee.



-LynnAA

Véritablement, ce n'est que l'ignorance des gens qui se traduit en mal.
Offerts une fleur, ils la rejetteront avec un large sourire confiant.



----------



Effectively, it is only the ignorance of people that translates into evil.
Offer them a flower and they'll reject it with a smile ever so confident, ever so wide.



- LynnAA

Turn around
Let me see your bare back
My fingertips won't hurt
I promise.
They will be tracing your spine
Making it a warmer place
For my lips to hide in
As they mold with your skin.

And then you'll hit me
Because my fingertips
Were the most dry
And my lips
Were the most chapped
Amongst those of the women
Who have laid their flesh on you.




-LynnAA

She looked at him
One last time
And smiled
Leaving her floral scent
Lingering in his shirt




-LynnAA

Loss Tastes Like Your Mouth



- LynnAA

What is this trap?
What is this none sense of not expressing our feelings?
Why is it better not to to reach for our past emotions and talk about them?
What is this trap?
To feel so anciently and never express?
To refrain from feeling because we should heal?
Why do our feelings become traps?



- LynnAA

You're not my Jesus.
I am my own Jesus.



- LynnAA

What does she look like when you can't see her?



- LynnAA

I do not know you yet, but I am wondering what you might be doing right now.

Do you ever wonder what I would feel like in your arms under thick sheets in winter with the window slightly cracked open?

I do not know you yet but I love you too.

I dance to feel my body
I dance to live in a lively skin
I dance to feel love and give love
To feel pain and take pain away
I dance to feel pleasure, sadness, ecstasy, tiredness, short breaths, fast heartbeats, sweat, elegance, strength, beauty...
Beauty.
Dance is beauty.
And I want to make you feel beautiful.
I want to pour my love into you and twist your pain out of your fingertips. I want to twirl around you and make you feel a soft breeze, make you feel me from a distance. I want to leap into your arms and trust you to catch me. I want to slide my body so close to yours and burn with our fire.
We will dance and only stop chest to chest, close enough so that when we breathe in heavily, our chests will touch and our hearts will collide, and my breath will combine with yours, and our lips will start to close in on each other as our fingers intertwine to pull us closer and closer as I wrap my body around yours and you wrap your body around mine and we lay on the floor, you on top of me and we twist and turn and move in perpetual sensuality that will keep us dancing to the rhythm of our breaths and heartbeats.



- LynnAA

I am mad at you
For loving me so dearly
For allowing me to leave the way I left
For travelling a week later and not fulfilling your promise of seeing me
For not wanting to see me, thinking I didn't want to, you stupid fool
For coming back and not getting me back a nice little gift, something of you that would actually stay
For calling me on my birthday, talking to me in such a fake ease, convincing yourself that we are okay
But actually, we weren't talking to each other
I am mad at you for being ******* me even when I left
I am mad at you, because you don't break for the ones you love
Because you are one immense coward, running back to the arms that have been taking you back all these years after each one of your mistakes
Because you knew, with me, you had everything to lose
I am mad at you because if I decide to tell you all of this today, you wouldn't listen, you wouldn't understand
I am mad at you, for allowing me in, when my face should have been away from your fading memories of me



- LynnAA

Bat your tall eyelashes away from me
Your kindness is strangling me




-LynnAA