The agonizing vibration in my heart speaks with a silent note,
Much like the wind at night
Wheezing past my window pane.
"You are well and truly alone"
It hisses. Repeatedly.

I mean, I know I am alone and all
But never like this!
This is beyond solitude!
Beyond lonely!
This is deserving of a single word!
A single letter!;

            I
....
So it is,
In time immemorial--
Sited here is a poetic mind--
a mortal soul like yours.

Do remember
the silence...      and
        
            I

...

I demand simplicity in your answer,

no intricate web of deceit,
no grand den of lies.

But then you only said,

"Yes."

...

May your head never be bowed
Even when it is ******

May your eyes always see light
Even when it is foggy

May your ears never go deaf
Even when it is noisy

May your tongue always speak good
Even when you are angry

And may your heart be clad in gold
Filled with compassion and pity

To be washed under a wave;
persistant. . .
thinking how sad life is

Drowning, excrutiating, breathlessly squeezing love out;
Showing "it"
pathways to escape like sand
through fingers, one grain at a time

Unredeemable time flying
and pushing, pushing all, to impending doom

Death and darkness awaits.

But ignore, ignore. . .
take no notice of this horrific pitch-black reality.
Afterall
there's nothing one can do about it except to
fear it

. . .

Impending doom?
how very cliche, how very awkward!
well atleast no one is left behind this time;

All life forms driven all at once,
like lambs to slaughter,
relentlessly by Death on its two light feet;
night and day.

But we are stubborn, we still laugh
Defiant, we still hope. . .

As we march on to this promised doom

Beware the company when going in
To the deep, the dark
The raw, the truth

Zoom in on the mark
Of wisdom, of knowing
Of humility, of silence

For once you are in
Through the dark shroud--

Words become silent not loud (enough)
Power is subtle, invisible
Info is subliminal, impossible

And the light wisdom gained
is heavy to keep

So yes--
Beware the company when going in

Before the thoughts flood in to cloud
your judgment, ushering in rain,
clapping thunder--

Before you are dripping wet--
clothes, and all-- jumping at every
flash and roar of frowning heaven--

Before you give into madness--
reading pessimistic meanings into every absent gesture--

Can you be a little bit more patient? Stand ground a little longer? And maybe--- out of the kindness of your heart--
find out why?

It could be that the heavens break loose to answer the cries of a thirsty earth,
It could be that thunder is poetry in
light and vibrations,
It could be that my fist is clenched to welcome warmth


Can you be patient?
...
and maybe start asking why too?

I am a loner in words--
A lover in deeds

Don't trust me;
Look close
You'll see

My dark white
And my black light

Borne alone with my shadow
in the confines of space
empty and
Infinite it seems, endless.

How I long to be free
but that cannot be;
Like a trapped bird
in an iron cage,
I scratch the cold metal
in a quiet rage

shackled, the chain
doubles its weight on my
lonely soul

And
no matter--
on foot or feather--
how fast or far i run
the dark shadow of mine
will follow-

through night and through day,
through winter and through summer;
In the autumn of may
and in the freezing december,

it follows and follows
my heart
like an obsessed stalker,
a tireless walker
it will catch on and drag me
on my face
Into forlorn darkness

Gifts all around
freely given
and given freely...

now, even more aware
sense keenly

if you would hear-
Listen here,
"every gift is payed for."

If ever you see a sight that reminds
you of me,
either happily jesting or sadly
staring--

If you remember me in a most
sudden way; down a quiet road
walking or a decent conversation
holding ---


It is then you'd know the beginning
of all the words I never said

The dark corridor did nothing
But intensify her gaze

I could tell my eyes were so transparent,
She could see through me

With her glass eyes

stereotyped- scarred for life stigmata
but still a man has to get his dollar
dive deep in the murky water
of service and humility,
sailors know that's where the jewelry is
and Life's gems- and Life's treasures-
and Death's life- and Death's pleasures-
so be fearless, no second thought is needed-
you should know your soul is eternally
bound to a life in... in... infinity....

...


why fear a look down
just ignore their frowns, they're clowns-
they know the dirt comes off
they know you are strong,
you scare them coz you are tough
and you dare too much
and you dare be bold
they know the glitter beneath your pain is gold

Maya thought right: 'from the dirt, I rise'
why not keep it simple
so you don't pay the price
the old ones shrug it off saying,
'they only want your life'
they say 'it's nothing'

but you know what? it's something,
who wants to live trapped,
caged, feeling dead inside

smiles you must know
can never beget dimples
grace you must know
honors the humble

who needs praise?
since I am done,
i thank you for reading
now hurry along
please be gone
they are waiting

Very few things sweeter
Than the fruit
Of goodness

The world is full of wolves...
And more wolves pretending to be sheep;


wicked, heartless, manipulative... deceitful, arrogant, greedy -

good people ...

but somehow I luckily manage to pick up
needles from a ****** haystack--

Somehow(I don't know how)
I manage to come across
good people

Guilty

I'm forever in rain
My weather don't change
It's always pain--
In a mean-streak range;

Pain for breakfast
Pain for brunch--
The rain is steadfast
So it's pain for lunch

I'm forever in rain
Come sunshine, come moonlight
It's always pain---
Somehow it all feels right

She spoke with majestic eloquence
for her tongue moved with the
freedom of birds rolling in air

Blood flood the carpet but the dimness
of the room
made her tear drops disappear

The last lamp was her heartbeat slowly
fading away like a figure walking in a
sandstorm...

All he felt was the white helplessness of
pity as her soul separated from her body

The wide room, in his mind, enclosed
him-
The black marble walls closed in...

His heart too was constrained, the agony
of death dripped inside his head

She spoke with a voice as soft as feather
"I'm glad I met you"
were the words she uttered

It trickled the four corners of his heart
for all eternity
right there and then.

That night pain and sorrow defeated
time-
Two hearts stopped instead of one

You gauge my feverish eyes,
Sick-to-death,
And you hide the medicine
And you serve the ****

A million hours
A million jokes
A million laughs-
All for naught

My head hurts, my eyes struggle to open
My heartbeat gradually fails
I sit and watch my hands transform my thoughts to written words
How quietly I deny some honest words space in my head
How desperately I cling to life scared that I might draw my last breath

Such is the state of man;
When sickness brings him to the brink of death he remembers how lucky he is to have lived
But when he is strong and healthy
He thinks himself immortal

You gauge my feverish eyes,
Sick-to-death,
And you hide the medicine
And you serve the ****


A million hours
A million jokes
A million laughs-
All for naught

Don't fall in love-
I have done that before.
Instead climb above
It. And save yourself the drama,
the gore.

If you think love is an ocean,
I suppose you are right.
But if ever an ocean could burn
It'll be when two lovers fight

And if you believe love is a mountain,
I reckon that it's equality true.
To traverse such upsetting terrain
One has to be content,
At once, blue

Don't fall in the ocean.
Instead, climb the mountain
With commitment and devotion
And I promise you'll find
The vast ocean, a beautiful fountain

Since life is not always easy
and abject failure is abundant
your gaze may begin to capture
ideas beyond the finishing touches of beauty
and your thoughts may start to fall
off the planes of (what is considered) “sanity”

at such tumultuous hours my friend
look to the trees not the flowers

I face a hurricane out in the middle
of the ocean,
huge terrible waves sway the ship,
lightening occasionally flashes above
to interrupt complete darkness,

It is raining

wild thunder rages from a distance,
strong winds blow fiercely
pulling at my coat

And I--
standing at the edge
of this sinking ship--
with gritted teeth,
a wet cigar hanging on my lips

eyes ablaze,
stare at this daunting scene
Unafraid

she beckoned me forth like a
gladiator
trained for speed, not power

her calculating eyes timed my feet
for its overdue fall
dagger at the ready
anticipating my fall

I took her bait

not

I threw away my shield
and shuffled aside

It was never
that serious a game

for me at least.

I find that certain evasive
nobility missing in her character

She is a well polished diamond
that can never shine;
Abundant confidence, so little material

Wait, wait, wait you'll say
She'll wait wait
Then she'll fall in the end

Sometimes your intentions are as clean as white sheets straight from laundry
Sometimes your intentions are only as clean as black sheets washed at home

and unlike sheets, people don't see intentions...
So sometimes remember to hang your dry white sheets out to dry

(Oh, and leave the blacks in the cupboard, they are out of fashion)

You are a bleeding romantic.
Ever so ready to fall in a love pool but
alarmingly lazy when swimming out of it because you have grown accustomed to its strange warmth

You want to capture a moment, and keep it to yourself but your eyes are not lenses.
Your eyes, in stead, see the magic beyond surfaces and the truth behind the incomplete enigma-that is a man's heart.
And like young Einstein, you wish to pull the broken pieces together

Countless Einstein hearts, much like yours, wail from the lost underworld. And a few, like mine, that have managed the incredible feat of escape, wish to never return to the underground.
I perceive you are different;
Unscathed by the pain and the loss, you wish to return.

I read your heart in a noisy room the other day, and I dare say, when words cut you or when your heart breaks,
you don't bleed like us,
you bleed romance.

Because there is nothing
worth the saying


talk-- talk


nearly everyone that talks--


Talks. About. Nothing

Demons possess me
In a most peculiar way.
Take over my sight in spectrums
No-one can see

Sweeten my gut,
Swallow my hate,
Sedate my mind with hellish drums;
I smile more times than not.

Whispers crack the frown on the face of me.
Beat me.
Till smiles out of me trumps
And smiles become the only thing
A passing stranger can see

Tell me you don't want me

So I'll leave and never bother you again

...

I've grown tired of your games.

My head hurts, my sight blurs
Quietly i loose consciousness.
My heartbeat breaks, i am choking
Shamefully i loose myself in thoughtfulness.

I sit and watch my hands transform
my thoughts to written words--

How proudly I deny honest truths
a little space in my deluded forehead
And how desperately I cling to life
scared I might just now draw my last breath.

Such is the complete state of man;
When sickness brings him to the brink of death
he remembers the unkind odds that lent him life
But when he is strong and able
he remembers himself immortal.

Gently painted on the evening sky
By a Hand, infinitely Divine.
The orange orb rests assuredly--
And of its supports to be seen, no vine.

Its reddish-yellow mixes sublimely with sky-blue--
Now it flickers clean-white, now golden-black--
A truly-- deeply fascinating view;
An arrow drawn to never miss its mark

I think it scrapes the epitome of beauty
Since it encompasses a beholder's eye
With a tolerable show of bubbling fury--
The sun-- setting behind the evening sky

In it I see-- a requiem for brighter days,
a regret written but well expunged;
a solemn oath for darker years,
and a replying breath before it is plunged
(In a sea of darkness)

This is a curse on the heartbreakers
that left us stranded in the island of
Hope-and-Love, paddling away,
unnoticed, in the dead of night, on
the only boat we sailed to the
mystery-filled lands

This is an apology to the hearts we've
broken in our self deluded attempt at
avoiding heartache by fading
gradually away like the sun when it
sets beyond the horizon lines

This is a thank-you note to Time, for
the penniless healing it affords, and
the scholarly teachings it imprints--  
never once failing us since we began
to exist, and

This is a lamentation for scattered
scars, for dispersed pain, for
heartbroken hearts, for dead or dying
dreams-- we are like souls living on
a battlefield strewn with mines
...

This is a goodnight song of hope to
carry us to tomorrow,

This is ink for our pens
...

This is for me, and

This is for you

I poured my heart out
Soaked to my soul with sincerity
Wasting words on deaf ears
Connected to a heart devoid of pity

With incredible fortune
I looked at my hands;
Armed I was with golden bravery.
Enough to conquer lands!

And my adversary was but a man.

I understand the restless feeling
within your soul. Impossible to ignore
especially in a still night where devils
you expect to turn up lose their
way.
Alone in a still night you scream
out for help but intentionally forget to
turn up the volume from zero to a
measly one, because you prefer the
agony of pain to the dreadful
pretentious care you suspect in
caring eyes.
I understand you when you, in your own
words, alleged that both right
and left turns connive with time to
bring you back to your starting point,
that you wish you could turn up, fly,
and leave everything behind without
having to explain why
or how you did it
And I completely understand the fury
beneath your smile in those still kind
of nights when unwanted attention is
turned towards you,
being civil thus gentle
and cordial, you are demanded, for
goodness sake, to indulge friends
and family. so you take a deep
cigarette-filled breath, summon
strength from deep within, laugh
and simply turn up

One starless night
I searched my house of memory;
And found a heavily dusty room there,
It's door half-opened,
Tempted me, beckoned me forth

In the room were humans,
All but a few
were strange to me

Their faces differed,
Their shapes, their laughs-
The fire of life
In their eyes
All seemed pure
Like leaves burning
from a white fire tree

I only blinked; I merely blinked;
And to my everlasting dismay,
The beautiful creatures were replaced;

An unkind breeze blew a stench
from new familiar forms
that filled the dusty room
In an overcrowded way

It was with ungraceful desperation
that these creatures
Hurried in a circle

Desperate to get somewhere fast;
Some easily disappeared through the walls
(Oh the relief to watch them escape!)
Others hit their heads on the wall
Bounced off it,
And began to bleed profusely

Powerless to leave
As if a force magnetted me
To the iron floor,
I stood, barely *****
Rooted there
By Fate's unkind hand
To watch this torment,
Unafraid and yet fearful
That the doorknob I held,
Would refuse to open
When eventually I find the guts
To turn it

What is it about the world    
that leaves you so conflicted?    
why is your tone    
pale as bone?    
   
Glance at this man    
who suffers the burden    
of the misery you make    
all too real.  
   
Does the world pay for your dreams    
and refunds your nightmares?    
   
Where the source    
of this your sorrow?
 
Is summer too hot,    
winter too cold?    
Perhaps the rain is too wet,
and the heat too warm?

Or    
are you just spineless,    
and not as bold as they say you were?

never roam with crowds;
go your own way

yes your path may lead to hell
which is a grave sadness;
a dire misfortune

but heaven's gate was never found
by those who roam with crowds

This thought of mine must be written!
Yet Silence, in its golden gait,
Draws a line and writes within it,
"poems less than great
Are now forbidden"

Anger and Fear raced above
My battalion of emotions and met
Silence in curious revolt;
If not Juliet,
Who is worthy of Romeo's love?

Irrationality ends in violence!
For what it's worth,
Probably not much,
I must here write these words;
I truly do not care for greatness.

I simply wish to write.
To sometimes pull seven rabbits
From a single hat.
Beyond the hits
It is mostly because I forget, I write.

excuse my vanity tonight
and forgive me for not paying much
mind
to how you are feeling within,
tonight my thoughts turn
to the beauty of your form;

You are unbearably beautiful
the blackness of your iris
the curl on your smile
the smoothness of your skin
all in the oval shape of your face
Captivates

It seduces my thoughts
into thinking
'to you belongs the rarest beauty'
in its most pure form