the hardest,
            scariest
       decision that
I took

I was wondering why
and I searched every piece in my mind.
That's how it works?
That's how it is?
Maybe things are just like a thrill.

I place my thoughts in order
I stayed in your softness
I trust but was I fool or in love?

So,
place your heart next to mine
blow up like a thousand of skies
be your own kind of dark
be your own kind of magic.

Stay,
stay away or stay close
give me everything or give me zero
replace your bones, replace my soul
you don't ask you just glow.

Trust,
trust yourself when you say goodbye
and trust your thoughts when you're saying alright
far away you'll find a sign
just focus on my eyes.

As you're afraid,
I'll tell you something,
even if loving you isn't enough
you've still got me crazy just by your sight.

Love is a mystery
love is whatever it is
and you broke all of it.

So stupid me I wonder,
why everything that you love that's what you destroy?

and I don't want to
but I let you anyway
and I don't want to
but I beg for our lives
together
and I don't want to
and all I do is be with you
and I love you
but our love is all over the place
and I love it
but I hate this pressure in my chest
and I don't want to
but I need to get away
and I don't want to
but you don't even know you're doing this to me
and I don't want to blame you
but this madness, these voices
keep renting my brain
and I don't want to
but I've been so messed already
that this is not helping
and I don't want to
but-

cold water in a shower
hot chocolate getting cold
favourite clothes getting old
movies without the ending I want
ice cream falling in the floor
people having fun when I'm at my worst

to fall in love again
to forgive
to trust
to not care.
I tried to try

I failed

my dance moves
look like burning stones
in the active volcano
you created
they flicker and bounce
looks like not knowing what's going on
or what to do.
I'm I the losing steps you chose?

how unlucky
Some people's cells are made of life
but they're not blessed to live
And some of us,
are forced to talk and smile
and shine and walk
and appear
-I want to disappear-
and dance and pretend
and again
and again
and-

All we want to do is fly
or die
It's pretty much the same thing
How unfair

I don't even know how to talk about this.

My mind's playing games with me,
I am the end of the game.
My mum wants to help,
she doesn't understand,
me and help don't get along with each other.

I don't even know why I'm talking about this.

It doesn't seem like I'm actually talking about something,
meanwhile I'm talking about everything.
Different inflection when I see myself,
shadows and stars sleeping in the same bed.

I don't know why I'm so difficult to understand.

I put you first
when you deserved to be lost,
I've gave my all
and you didn't care at all,
I've been so discomfort
about everything,
everything else but you.
Suddenly I saw your lies,
I'm terrified.
Do you want to hold my heart?
Guess it was all just for fun.
It was too good to be true
and I'm left with feelings for you,
I don't know what to do.
Guess I'll cover everything,
I'll cover you,
I'll cover me,
even though
you liked me cover free.
At least you taught me how to fake it.
I'll camouflage my feelings
Like you masked your fakeness.

Πόλη μου μικρή, μεγάλη, φουρτουνιασμένη,
πότε με βρίσκεις στους δρόμους σου
σ'ένα παγκάκι αδειανό,
σ'ένα παλιό καράβι.
Κι άλλοτε σε δρόμους που ανεβαίνουν, σε μαγαζάκια και στροφές,
και χθες σε δρόμο που κατέβαινε και κατρακυλούσαν φύλλα, φωνές.

Πόλη μου,
πότε με χάνεις σε σκέψεις παλιές.
Σε δρόμους με ψάχνεις, μα είναι ξένοι,
παρελθοντικοί.
Και χάνεις, όλο και χάνεις.
Χάνεις και πάλι αυτή την παρτίδα,
όσο κι αν με μαγεύουν τα χάδια και τα ταξίδια,
είμαι δοσμένη αλλού.

Πόλη μου, κρύα, ζεστή, παραμυθένια,
με ζεσταίνουν οι άνθρωποι σου,
μα να πάλι, με το πρώτο κρύο
νοσταλγώ τους ανθρώπους μου.
Με ψάχνεις κι εγώ κοιτάω από την άλλη.
Ψάχνω την κλεμμένη μου καρδιά
όσο μακριά κι αν είναι,
όσο κι αν ο καιρός θρυμματίζει μνήμες,
θολώνει ματιές.
Ψάχνω.

Πόλη μου,
εσύ η αιτία.
Η αιτία του πόνου μου
κι η αιτία της χαράς μου,
ο λόγος που αγαπάω ακόμα πιο πολύ,
ο λόγος που κάθε αγκαλιά κρατάει με τους καιρούς,
-τόσο-
για να ζεσταίνει τους άχαρους χειμώνες σου.

we don't talk anymore
but I wish you
more than you know
my love for you
comes from the
life-giving source

Always someone's calling
and my little one does not answer
What if
this call's not for her?
what if actually
you're guiding her away?
Lakes are her way
and birds her dressing
willing to stay
but her nature
drives her
to what you call the flames

She names it paradise
and closes the gate

once in a while
our paths meet
then cross the line
and we don't speak
for weeks
no matter the time
the weather
the year
I will always come back
to our messy love
my dear

birds in this cage
one got away
scared enough
flew far upon this place
'till it finds
it's new
golden
cage
cozy and safe

At first I thought about the body.
Beautiful but cold.
Is it grey or black? Or is it yellow?
I don't know.

So I thought about the hair.
Pretty and a trap.
Might be long or short,
Or purple with red dots.

I thought about the eyes.
Loud and critically.
That's all I've got.

I'm thinking about souls.
I have no words.
I wish of freedom
But all I see are ghosts

So what's there to love?
Maybe nothing
maybe all of this
and more.
I don't know
But honestly,
neither do your thoughts.

Haven't seen you for a while
                come and visit asap
         I'm cold
                I miss you

Our pages burning red
while those glasses are swelling in my hands
and people keep saying
She's in her best
oh,
jokes they made
once I walk away.
and I can go on and on
but honey
problems can't be solved
it's so better living with ghosts
and oh, now that we don't talk
I'll scream my nightmares
to the walls I used to pretend
I chose on my own

Will it be our last time
or are we lasting forever?

as long as there are colours
given by the sun
as long as the darkness
covers our goodbyes
when forever's the promise
but now is not in time
and you're trying to change
whithout it to last
I'll love you tonight, tomorrow and in every other sky's reborn

stories of woman and men and wolfes and the ocean
pictures burned
in someone's old closet
all of them masked
in the fond of yellow
bright as gold
real and cold
shades of me
shades of everything I abhor.
  I burned everyone who burned me
How can they not betrayed me when even myself betrayed me?

And I am here
still missing
that one trip
we never made