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May 2020 · 143
no thoughts
Sam H May 2020
nah, there’s nothing on my mind
except maybe,
the demons i constantly fight
yeah, they’re in there alright

who ever said
‘out of sight, out of mind’
just probably couldn’t see them
May 2020 · 236
goodnight forever
Sam H May 2020
i once called
to say goodnight
oh with the cheeky grin
of a mischievous child

now i lay him to rest
listening to his hearts’
last jazzy tune
underneath the light
of the blue crescent moon

i held him tightly
against my chest
his pain is now mine,
and he can now rest beyond
the grand endless sky;
hear me as i say
my last goodnight
Apr 2020 · 168
false hope
Sam H Apr 2020
Are you smoking?
Don’t let anyone tell you
that it’ll be alright
I’ve endured so much
sleepless nights
thinking i was fine

Are you talking?
i cant bear another
hopeless lie
ill walk another hundred miles
pretending im alright
Apr 2020 · 573
Cold Shoulder
Sam H Apr 2020
The ice finally thins out
Yet we keep on treading
Did you whisper something in my ear?
For a whisper, it was pretty loud

What was it you said?
Your words were swept by the breeze
Light penetrates the bleak horizon
Winter has come to an end
Mar 2020 · 166
sleepless nights
Sam H Mar 2020
i cry myself to sleep at night
i shift side to side
pointlessly
as the pain just follows

i can't trace its roots
everything just aches
whether if i'm asleep
or wide awake
Mar 2020 · 155
Happy bear 🐻
Sam H Mar 2020
My warm and fuzzy friend,
tuck me in every night in bed
and leave a gentle kiss on my head
should you depart by days’ end,
rid my tears that have been shed.

Your loving memory has no end.
Until we meet again.
Mar 2020 · 125
some parallel universe
Sam H Mar 2020
such a tragic world we live in
where time is enemy
and enemies are your friends
plastering phony smiles
and faking best regards
why live in a world
where the sun scarcely shines?

here's to living life
purely in the moment
where only true words can prosper
minds only full of wonder
and happy thoughts
that can never decompose

a world like this exists,
i suppose
Mar 2020 · 173
silence
Sam H Mar 2020
liquid melody
enter my grieving heart
gentle hymn
dry my endless tears
peaceful tune
pacify my roaring cries
sounds of harmony
cleanse my hopeless desires
Sam H Mar 2020
i thought it was difficult seeing you astray
turns out it was more painful,
when i saw you walk away
though i admit it was indeed my fault
i hope i'll still linger around your thoughts
i never expected it to hurt this much
we no longer have reason to keep in touch
Jan 2020 · 438
Sunsets
Sam H Jan 2020
Golden sunsets
Beautiful in its prime
But like all good things,
It fades into night
And as time passes
The joyous yellow fades
Yet from it, I feel consoled
For the dawn introduces
Unimaginable iridescent shades
Breathing hope
into my weary soul
Sam H Jan 2020
But now i welcome it
As a long lost friend
Though its embrace is
Secure and comforting
My fears create restless thoughts
And stirs among the corners of my head
Pain, sorrow, sadness and regret
How long must it take for one to forget?
Jan 2020 · 141
I’m afraid of the future
Sam H Jan 2020
What bright lights wait in store
But there are also storms
Nov 2019 · 165
Heard you're doing good
Sam H Nov 2019
Hello, from a far
Been wondering how you are
Sad knowing how we've part
Now, i can only see you among the stars
Nov 2019 · 231
i'll always come home
Sam H Nov 2019
When i hear
Your little beating heart,
I know i'm home

Losing you
Is my greatest fear
And when you wrap
your arms around me
i wish we’d never part
Sam H Nov 2019
don't be disheartened
by my indifference
it is you i like,
my emotions and feelings
too well i hide
Nov 2019 · 543
Joker
Sam H Nov 2019
You got me;
played your cards -
right, sometimes wrong
i played your game,
it's too bad i lost

If i'm the fool,
might as well
act the clown
my world turns
upside down
whenever
you're around
Nov 2019 · 432
MELANCHOLY LANE
Sam H Nov 2019
Im down that
same old road again
I thought i left it behind
Turns out i was
running in circles
Now I reunite with that
haunted path of mine

I thought i had found
New distractions
A detour from
That place
But it always
Catches up
No matter how far
I run or hide

Everyone is coming
To get me
Catching up from behind
Do i slow down
For them to consume me
Or do i speed up
Until i die

Either way i cannot win
Im a slave to the society
No other route can suffice
Nov 2019 · 166
Hello, goodbye.
Sam H Nov 2019
I watched you enter my life so abruptly
It’s been a good run
Yet as quick as you came,
It seems you now want out

Our threads were once woven
intertwining spirit and heart
But now those threads
Eagerly, and mutually depart
Stretching towards opposite ends
A broken heart is never easy to mend

I guess i didn’t know you well enough
Naive of me to think i had the chance
I let you take advantage of my kindness
Something you‘d never reciprocate
It was all my fault, now its too late

I’m ready to say goodbye
But just say the word
And I’ll give it another try
Oct 2019 · 773
Empathy
Sam H Oct 2019
I feel your pain
Let it too be mine
I don’t mind
I’ve got time
Oct 2019 · 273
my lil secret
Sam H Oct 2019
My head is filled
with secrets that i cant share
Id **** for you to know,
but die if you found out
Take away these secrets
that fill me with despair

Unspoken truths
will be the death of me and you
If you ever come across reading this,
then for crying out loud
I just want you to know that
im secretly in love with you
love, friend, sad, feelings
Oct 2019 · 498
hideaway
Sam H Oct 2019
navy crystal skies,
hidden dreamy paradise

life fades away
as i await the sun to rise

when the light touches
the boundless evergreen

i am filled with contentment,
happiness i've never seen
Sep 2019 · 184
i was first
Sam H Sep 2019
i wish i had never met you
no pressure
nor prejudiced thoughts
that's your effect
and all those naive
will follow you blindly
sadly, i know of so many

lost in a vacuum
where liberty conflicts with bigotry
if you choose to live blindly
then stop claiming to see clearly
you will never know
an eccentric life the way i do
so ill keep to myself
and you keep doing you
Sep 2019 · 252
one eye / two eyes open
Sam H Sep 2019
small minds tend to think alike
often neglecting the minor details
no one comes close to envisioning
the impossible image i fathom
once you learn to see the bigger picture
ill share this vast canvas with you
Sep 2019 · 939
relax every now and then
Sam H Sep 2019
the problem with you
is that you can't face the truth
you crave to please
but you're just a tease
take a step back
and absorb in the breeze
nothing wrong with living life
from the backseat
Sep 2019 · 599
dope
Sam H Sep 2019
one hit
is all i need
i succumb
to the glitter
and gold,
an unparalleled
soothing delight

a cool, light
and liberating
touch
i let go
of meaningless
thoughts
and begin my
psychedelic flight
Sep 2019 · 375
The death of a good friend
Sam H Sep 2019
you once resembled a warm summer day
a vibrant ray emitting all colors from the spectrum
but summers end and are replaced by storms
once the rose figures it's a rose
it learns to grow thorns

so elegant in image and in words
treading the waters gently and light
but your ripples unfurl quite massive
pushing away your former life
how can something be
so beautiful yet so destructive

why idolize a cliched society
that merely pressured you to blossom
when you've had the best around you
simple yet so wholesome
those who helped you bloom
you took for granted too

when you are ready to float along
please let us go
without resentment nor condition
and when you find yourself once again
you can still come home
but for now, this is the end
the death of a good friend
Sep 2019 · 526
paradise
Sam H Sep 2019
chasing bliss
is like chasing tides
one moment at reach
but never collides

my bones are broken
from the life i suffered
now, i cant stand still
so i let my body sink
beneath the gritty silk

i'm half submerged
from the neck down
i relish the ocean breeze
and marvel at the spectacle above
of purples, pinks, and blues

i stare into the horizon
as i await the currents
and when the sounds end
i close my eyes and whisper gently
take me to zion
guess i caught that bliss after all.
Aug 2019 · 728
Indie Film
Sam H Aug 2019
You remind me of
Some indie films i've seen
Where the colors are warm and subtle
Every scene so intricate and perfectly written
An underrated classic that’s so well hidden
From the view of the public eye
Its a taste that only some can acquire

Your intro ****** and conclusion
Are independent on its own
A beguiling, marvelous illusion
A vision to which nothing comes close
Your music harmonizes
with the view of the terrain
The film puts my heart at ease
You’re a cinematic masterpiece
:)
Jul 2019 · 526
inside
Sam H Jul 2019
knocking
i keep come knocking
on the same old door
to no answer,
i'm always ignored
shes in there alright
all alone and in constant fright
dictated by the versions of what she knows and sees
panic lurks behind her street
yet she is gentle, so calm and meek
home and comfort is all she seeks

i'm not the girl i used to be
not even the girl i pretend to be
still fighting the same old fights
bruised and battling every night
must i lie?
everyday behind a broken smile
shattered yet still standing high
the old me is quite hard to meet
liberation from the cycle is what i seek

pessimism is what i lack
always so eager the way i act
yet my soul is not intact
keep on knocking
though ill keep locking,
ill come through
7/7/19 11:30:00 pm
Jul 2019 · 251
Hello, you
Sam H Jul 2019
it begins again
another sweet feeling recurring

i have rid the past
of empty promises
and now my days are filled
with new wonder and belonging

and i am so happy that i now look forward
to the end of each and every day
because then another day keeps dawning
i am filled with curiosity and purpose once again
fueled by your sweet picture
in my heart and in my head

easy on the eyes
tender, endearing smile
beloved by many around yet still unaware
a gentle soul with a generous heart
can anyone else compare, not at all i say
without a doubt.
This poem is so gay.
Jul 2019 · 144
Hello, old me
Sam H Jul 2019
i keep telling myself that i can't remember the last time i was happy
but deep down i know well

do i even know myself? i can't even tell
not within the past year or so, a shame but i don't ask for pity

it is all self inflicted
the only joy i retain is outweighed by the accumulation of pain

how do you cure your sadness
when it is also caused by the source of your happiness

tired of the flow
tired of the “NOs”

when will i ever be myself again?
Mar 2019 · 92
I feel strongly
Sam H Mar 2019
Is it a blessing or a curse?
The gut feelings i implore
Have been usually right so far

Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil
But sometimes we just can't help ourselves
We crave for things beyond our reach
Even though its roots can be foul,
We trust in the benefit of the doubt
Jul 2018 · 474
oppressed
Sam H Jul 2018
i'm surrounded by familiar faces
some are warm, some are cold
all with love for me
yet i still feel so alone


i usually wear a mask
i hide behind my smile,
my jokes and my childishness
but my shadow reveals
the true pain and sorrow i contain
for it is filled with nothing but darkness
the first smile i force out everyday
screams for help, freedom, solace
but i hide it so well, no one seems to notice


i want be seen and heard
with the respect and love i truly deserve
i wish i didn't have to hide who i am
a colored spirit without limits nor end
Jul 2018 · 261
us against the world
Sam H Jul 2018
it's a lot easier
to not give a care
that's what you told me
we were quite a pair
"don't waste time on the frivolous,
absolutely not worth your breath"
they're too consumed by their ignorance
forgetting the existence
of true endeavors
shame, it seems it will never end
they're high on the feeling
stuck in their head


hold my hand
and help me forget,
once again let's not care
until the end
i miss you and i need you
it's us against the world
Jul 2018 · 1.8k
i love my tears
Sam H Jul 2018
they leave behind
invisible scars

they sting my eyes
color it dark

but i love the way
they fall to my heart

as if to reassure me
that i will be okay

they help me sleep
in hope to wake
to a new & tear-less day
Jul 2018 · 1.9k
lowkey
Sam H Jul 2018
People often forget
to write about their happiness
It's only when they're upset
that they clamor of their madness
because they know
pity comes to the loud,
and ignorance to the mellow
I am happy right now
Jul 2018 · 776
The last poem about you
Sam H Jul 2018
You are so in a rush
You forget to listen
Consumed by lust
Can't wait to be taken
Do you know what you want?
Is she a hundred?
Is she the one you wanted?
is she....
-
-


I'm done writing poems
About you
About what could've been
I no longer care
of how you've been doing
But when the day comes
you realize how unhappy you are
Don't come bother looking for me
I'll be up there,
floating among the stars
Jul 2018 · 379
Cloudy
Sam H Jul 2018
White clouds
Lasting the day
You excite my heart
In your coy, twisted way
We express our mutuality
Through art and song
Why do you toy with my heart?
And why do I play along?
Out of shame I have to say
Only you can make me smile this way
But smile fades with one mistake
One which you constantly repeat
Leading you always into instant retreat
And so you settle for saftey
For you think that I am too risky
End of day, I sigh in woe
Just like the clouds
That end up a storm
May 2018 · 419
A poem for anyone
Sam H May 2018
A poem for anyone
To let you know that I once loved you
A dearest and sweetest friend you were to me
But you were always so much more

So many days of emotionless conversations
Followed by conversations unbeknownst to anyone but you and me
I wonder if you forget me
Though I truly know you do
Or maybe secretly you’d lie awake and miss me
Maybe just once in a while
Oh dreaming is for free

Always remember
You’re not just anyone to me
But you’re still my only anyone
I just never got to tell you
Please don’t forget me
Sam H May 2018
I remember the time I lay afloat
on the lining that separates the sky from the ocean


Some days I managed to jump higher than the sea,
hoping to touch that sky
but I never made it that far


Each jump higher I make,
only the quicker and harder I fall
Til finally one day I’m no longer on that lining,
but now drowning
in the waves that used to surround me


Am I anchored by my own will,
or by someone else’s doings?
But definitely for sure, I’m not moving
What, do I envy?
Do I hate the ones i see above me, free and flying?
No, not even.


I only end up feeling down for myself
For how can a fish ever become a bird

— The End —