You have no right to say that I am yours
When you are never been mine

You have no right to say that I am head over heels for you
When I never said I love you

You have no right to hurt me and make me jealous with your new girl
Because I never loved you

But the truth is, you have all the right in the world
I am yours since the day my heart beated for you but I guess yours did not beated the same
I never said I love you because i never had a chance
Suddenly, you left without a word
Without a last goodbye
I never loved you because I still do

Now, tell me if i deserve this kind of treatment
When all i did is to love you

beated
pushed against the wall
touched
loved for one reason
***

impassive morals
but love
strong emotions
and pain

that combination
is what drives some of us insane

Old lover,
It's been years
Since I've last seen your face
Covered with tears
And a frown
As we began to part ways,
I heard you softly whisper
"Darling, I'll always love you."
I turned and replied
With a heavy sigh
"I loved you but your love was
Just a game of lies.
You said your heart beated for me,
Like mine only did for you,
But your heart had actually
Always beated for two.
So don't you dare
Blame this on me,
When the fault is all on you."

You stood there quiet,
Then walked away
Right there I knew
And without a word
I turned and left
Without looking back at you.

Old lover,
It's been years
Since I last saw your face
I start to think
As I light my cigarette
Under the old willow tree
Where we used to always be.
And as I traced my fingertips
Over the carved heart
Where you imprinted our names
That one hot summer day,
I think to myself,
How stubborn are these scars when they don't fade away,
And how stubborn is a heart
When it continues to break.

As I stood up to leave
I turned to face the old willow tree
Remembering all our old memories
If you were only here too see.
I reached for my lighter
And stared into the flame
And looked at the old willow
As I set it ablaze
Burning the last bridge
To those memories we once made

I watched it burn
Feeling my heart
Fill with relief
Of finally letting go
A long dead memory.

Sin of self-love possesseth all mine eye,
And all my soul, and all my every part;
And for this sin there is no remedy,
It is so grounded inward in my heart.
Methinks no face so gracious is as mine,
No shape so true, no truth of such account;
And for my self mine own worth do define,
As I all other in all worths surmount.
But when my glass shows me myself indeed
Beated and chapped with tanned antiquity,
Mine own self-love quite contrary I read;
Self so self-loving were iniquity.
    ’Tis thee, myself, that for my self I praise,
    Painting my age with beauty of thy days.

This wilderness,
                I aimlessly wander through.
A deep breath
               The air, it holds a tangible primitivism
I follow a beated path along the brook
               As it guides my directionless saunter
Stillness of mind and habitat coalesce.
Dragonflies dance with my eyes
               As I ponder their surreal spirits
Loneliness is liberated from every definition
Identity is lost in the harmonies of every root and leaf and songbird
Begone to all the names and labels,
               Now
It comes in the abstract waves of shades and colors,
               Now
This wilderness,
               One organic tellurian phantasmagoria.
This wilderness,
               A warm ablution for the cold comfort of my reality

As it humbly sits
Just beyond my backyard picket fence
Waiting.

I saw you for the first time
Behind a screen
Dressed in grey.
Brown and beautiful,
and a wearing a beanie
It was your crown

You smiled at times
And I stared in awe
My screen screamed snapshot
But I was to grasped in the moment to think
My heart beated furiously
Intoxicated by a fiery passion

Then on one faithful day
I saw you
You experience me
I layed down my lips
On thine lips of my craving
Two heart beating for you

For only one that satisfies me
I am facing you
And you, my shoe
Blushing and cringing
I lift up your face;
exquisite; a light in the dark.

I kiss you one time,
and I say to you these lines,
Come with me
Your hipster man
and hold on tight
Grip my hipster hand

Stand close to me
My hipster bride
As you my love
Swiftly hug me tight.
Our hipster heaven
Is sealed off tight

A world unknown
In my hipster mind.
Your sweet hipster lips
Press against oh me, oh my
This is where feels come from.
Shutting you up one kiss at a time

With hipster might.
Your hipster lips
Wage war with mine.
Compassionately
The freedom of my hipster mind.
We are conscience now.

We love; ebullient.
Perfectly written
To excogitate.
I love you more than
Your hipster mind can comprehend.
It can't ever be put in words.

You're my hipster wife.
I'm your one true love and..
..your hipster husband.
You hipster lips.
I hunger for, i'm starving.
My hipster source of hipster life.

I feed you love.
You are always first.
Living like mitty
Means nothing to me
If you aren't happy.
Living mitty with me.

Maybe
Just maybe one day I'll acclimate enough little yellow butterflies in the depths of your stomach to spark words of
passion
longing
excitement
from the tips of your long capable fingers
I'll collect enough of the color yellow.
Maybe it would one day be stronger than my  growing green?
Maybe one day it will hurt less to think of you,
or to talk about you
Perhaps the yellow will give us more time
The Yellow.
more memories and laughs
to show you
That you are seen and that you are heard
And that it's no use to use your words
so many words
on earthly sun-soaked terracotta or frayed and faded blue
I look into your deep hurt eyes framed with lace and promises
I gave you red and I'm painting with yellow now
please accept my yellow
I grew it in my chest just for you
Just to plant the warm glowing cocoons deep into your stomach
Hoping
They just might become butterflies and we can live our lives together hand-in-hand.
Maybe once they emerge it won't hurt so much anymore and you will smile.
And maybe, just maybe after a while you'd realize you don't need to keep using your words for girls who never cared to hear your heart that beated yellow with all it's might
Who never reciprocated with the strength of the yellow you gave them.
My chest
it now hums and glows with much yellow
a perfect place to rest your head, my Love.

Time* has gone by
But only in reality has it gone
Within, it seems like its been a lifetime
Knowing you, or rather having known you..
It’s probably all been the same
We said things wouldn’t change
But we’ve slipped away from each other
Like aged tires, unprepared for the rain

At the ****** of our demise it seemed unreal
I tried to hold on for so long
Most would say too long
As i hung from my figment of a cliff, my fingers began to fail me
With every moment of negligence I cried for a change of heart
From you, that never came

As I free fell from my cliff
Deep into the abyss of nothingness I sank into, and digressed from life
I was in a state of internal paralysis
My heart beated, but ever so quietly
My mind thought thoughts, but ever so dismally
I walked the halls watching others laugh and fellowship
When all the while I just missed your smile

Your laugh
Your smell
Your walk
Your talk
Your eyes
Your touch
It was all too much
Too much to yearn at once

As lonesome days came and went, I wondered when this would leave me
When I’d be free from this feeling of no feeling
Others tried to help but my heart was stubborn
I wanted nothing but to reverse the clock
Back to the days when I did feel
When I did smile
When I did live

But then that day came.
That day when God dove into the abyss and rescued me
It was as if all the pressure from the deep ocean had been lifted off my shoulders
My emulation of the Titan Atlas was no more
My fled soul had been returned to my body
And it was all by His grace

Nowadays I still check up on such individual
But I do so from a far
The feeling of care still resonates in my heart
Just not in the way it once did

Yes you've changed, but I don’t see that You
I see the You that i knew
The You that I met and felt utterly anew
The You that I temporarily walked life with and grew

But I have moved on
It took longer than most would
But I guess it was because I loved way more than I knew I could
Now I see you and I feel nothing
But its far from the nothing of before
Now its a calm nothing
A nothing that reassures
Everything’s going to be okay,
I’ve lit my lantern and let it float away, as it burns

Maybe it was all meant to happen this way
Maybe it wasn’t
But either way
Time has gone by
But only in reality has it gone

First the illicit thrill
Becomes routine habit
Run of the mill
Like you're invincible.

Once, your heart beated
Feverish, hesitant,
Now you swagger, unheated,
The cheat can't be cheated.

The check-out girl, Lizzie,
Is trusting and smiling
Then she turns away, busy
And you're suddenly dizzy.

To your pocket inside
Go the chocolate bars -
Though it's undignified
There's a strange kind of pride.

Then - out of the blue,
In front of the world,
One day she asks you....
And what can you do?

...But collapse to your core
Like a worm-eaten apple
Pray to fall through the floor
You are Named, evermore.

Oh - the shame! she's disgusted
You're a thief, you're mistrusted
All that shock and self-loathing
For those moments you lusted.

Poor girl, she won't be aware
That her face and her voice
Will feature forever
As worst memory, lowest nightmare.

You'll be chilled to the bone
And you'll ask yourself "Why?"
Without job, wife or home,
Foolish, guilty, alone?

Poet daubed the corporal on the wings of carney
Wanderer dilettante soul lusted au wild routes
Counted each the millimiles covered
Upside , unstrained , Unflaggingly.
Yon the valleys , epitome meadows and Hillsides
Beated around the alcoves amok
Ridges passed the marooned trails
Agape the flinged self flew spirited madrigals
Slowly rooted the tints into wilderness
True entity got superimposed to sylvan instincts
The obsolute shadow rigged the shooner
By dimension lengthier the time but shorter by grace
Grazed through and some toxic airs exhaled then pulled
Blinked all the roof to rugs
Remembrance of concrete boxes and intimate sidekicks
Cheap conflict wins to hit the ring
If body wins wanderlust looses thereby path ends
Simultaneous call by consciousness and objection by eternal shadow
Only the body grazed the maps with pointers
Though insatiably leveed
Kept retention the coursing shadow
Yet remained damp , savaged the sylvan traits
Life was near but the abstainer failed
Wilderness abysm rejected the unfortunate physique
There appeared
Scorched canopies along wilted flora
Container flogged the shadow to a stultifying death
Physique deceived self the core truth
Existence thereafter without knowing the chance with eterna
Several followed the imperishable conflict trail
Roll of honour diminished by fourth dimension
Marked victories of featherbrains over pappus chambers
Only few sticked upto xanthic flowers
Raise up , were the victories thristled down?
Many knocked and still keep on knocking incarnations
Fine array of fossilized saturnine inhibitions
Callous attritions over altruism of succinct shadows
Flip sorties pariance spurts
"The stanchion to revet my sky" voiced the shadow

Freed my soul when you handed your heart w..hole
Your pulses beated a sad song
But I held on to the highest pitch of the note
Remain sceptical of the situation but this all sources of our flaws
Imperfect flaws perfected and I loved you most
Just as you were with those scars about your chest gnawing "I'm all alone"

Quested for sanity through addictive sedations that had you abusing the remedy for therapy but who am I to lay judgement or  question?
The sun was setting so were my eyes setting too..setting on you
Ignited the spark in my soul when the dark arose and you sang me your reminiscence of times in a dark hole.


Our eyes rained through the night
But when the sun was up I realised you were an angel glittering a rainbow in her eyes.

Drugs.We.Fell.In.Love.High.

I wasn't sure of
those words, that holy
trinity pressed to give back,

until your heart stuttered systolic.

Contracted, you underplayed every line as
I fought, undervalued, omitted and flat-lined

that singular skip your two-******, beated rhythm
warning beacon, red-flashing, blaring signal flared sign

granted every second second of each stolen time, when those
planets and these stars became so fiercely yet finitely aligned,

yes, I understand now, as we lay entwined, cyclic, chest
deep, life-defying leap, gasp of breath, wake from

sleep, it is this that I seek, sunlight unconfined
crushing breath divine, beat of two, separate

singular, unexpected yet still

defined in-kind, of your
continuation bringing
life back to mine.

A stake through my heart <3
What would it feel like.
THE HEART
That beated for you,will suddenly stop.
These eyes, that always longed to see you will close forever.
These ears, that always craved to hear your voice, will never listen anything from you again.
These lips, that always wanted to talk to you will be silent till eternity.
My body that always wished for your hug, will turn cold forever.
"JUST A STAKE THROUGH MY HEART"

#14

Beautiful mind, you have succeeded
Expel all hate and accept all feelings
Time and time you have been beated
Life has now handed you more timid dealings

Play your cards right and the roads will be smoother
These ups and downs may wear you out
But these bruises and scrapes are battle scarrs
Each day set out to learn from their shouts

You've come a long way,
The progress is still endless
Clear troubles and exhale,
Inhale all that is painless

Of course you can conquer all that you've failed before
Walk away when hooded death's at your door
Sighs of relief released and begotten
Come, let's sit and drift to a world forgotten

                                    *s.q.

Poet daubed the corporal on the wings of carney
Wanderer dilettante soul lusted wild routes
Counted each the millimiles covered
Upside , unstrained , Unflaggingly.
Yon the valleys , epitome meadows and Hillsides
Beated around the alcoves amok
Ridges passed the marooned trails
Agape the flinged self flew spirited madrigals
Slowly rooted the tints into wilderness
True entity got superimposed to sylvan instincts
The obsolute shadow rigged the shooner
By dimension lengthier the time but shorter by grace
Grazed through and some toxic airs exhaled then pulled
Blinked all the roof to rugs
Remembrance of concrete boxes and intimate sidekicks
Cheap conflict wins to hit the ring
If body wins, wanderlust looses thereby path ends
Simultaneous call by consciousness and objection by eternal shadow
Only the body grazed the maps with pointers
Though insatiably leveed
Kept retention the coursing shadow
Yet remained damp , savaged the sylvan traits
Life was near but the abstainer failed
Wilderness abysm rejected the unfortunate physique
There appeared
Scorched canopies along wilted flora
Container flogged the shadow to a stultifying death
Physique deceived self the core truth
Existence thereafter without knowing the chance with eterna
Several followed the imperishable conflict trail
Roll of honour diminished by fourth dimension
Marked victories of featherbrains over pappus chambers
Only few sticked upto xanthic flowers
Raise up , were the victories thristled down?
Many knocked and still keep on knocking incarnations
Fine array of fossilized saturnine inhibitions
Callous attritions over altruism of succinct shadow
Flip sorties pariance spurts
"The stanchion to revet my sky" voiced the shadow

I'm only human
But I feel like the world expects me to be a God
Refusing to accept me because I'm not like them
A puppet with strings sticking out of his broken limbs
A pretender hiding his face behind the white mask of solitude
Walking the same beated path the rest of you slaves do
I'm sorry world but I rather not be a slave to society
Because I'm own being who travels the road less taken
A being who paves his own destiny with every step he takes
Because I'm the master of my fate and the captain of my soul
And I refuse to be a piece of lettuce in another's salad bowl
So instead selling myself out like a ****** on the side of the road
I'll be a king who sits on his own throne

I am leaving this totally raw, not edited out parts. If you feel this may offend you, Please don't read. I needed to just vent to somebody so here we are.

I keep trying to forget about you. Not the moments we shared, just you.

I'm trying to forget the way you smelled after a quiet night of dancing.
I'm trying to forget how your eyes twinkled when you talked about your family.
I'm  trying to forget the way you cared for me when I told you my darkest secret.
I'm trying to forget how your arms wrapped perfectly around my waist when we hugged.
I’m trying to forget the way you became a emotional wreck when I said I tried to **** myself.
I’m trying to forget the way your beautiful face was illuminated by the fire
I’m trying to forget the love I still have for you.

Everywhere I go I swear I see you. I was walking down the street and I prayed to god that wasn't you in the yellow 2005 punch buggy. When we talked, you only ever had the truck I helped design. Who knows though, You’ve changed since we talked last. But that look the passenger gave me, It was only a look only you could give me. I want close enough to see the two telltale signs it was you, your eyes and your scar. But that look gave me nightmares for many weeks to come. It was haunting and regretful. I could of seen things, But I swear the person said my name.

I thought I saw you today. The gas station that's right in the center of town. I saw someone in the distance and my heart beated out of my chest. I don’t know what I would've done if it was you. Cry, panic, hug you, ignore you, who knows? It’s funny how after all this time, I still can’t seem to get rid of you. What do you want from me? People used to say I was obsessed with you, I'm kinda starting to believe it. Maybe this is love, how would I know? I’m only nearly fifteen. Never been kissed or loved.

I can try and try but I won’t forget you. You’re too much of my heart and soul. You were my best friend. I told you everything, everything. When I think about you all I wanna do is cry. Why I have to go and wreck things i'm not sure. I just wanna know how you are.

I reminisced about our memories and my soul walked out of me to try and reconnect with yours but I was rejected. I listened to our song and my heart cried. I was breathless. I thought I was okay. I even had something new but when it came down to it, I sat there ,alone with my empty chest, needing the oxygen to be restored. You asked for my heart and you tore it down and I couldn't get it back. The sense of love I couldn't get that back. You did this. No wait, I did. Love is a choice and I chose to love you. I chose you but in the end. You didn't chose me. Because I was never really an option to your heart. You took my heart out while you were inside of me, mentally. I sat in a bright, sunny room and somehow it is still dark. My mind is on replay with all our bad days and yet what's left of my heart was still aching for yours. The only thing that uplifted me was the rain. It was already sad so there's no place for my emotions to make it worse. The rain was my happy place. Where things can be sad but it all appropriates with the mood. The sad rain was my happiness. In art class we were taught on curves. As I glowed, I noticed the curve I was thinking about was your pathetic smile. Love is an overrated movie that everyone raves about but once they get a preview, they wish they hadn't watched it at all. You were the most beautiful, surreal yet sorrowing film I've ever seen. That is why it hurt. Because I once loved you. Your presence made my skin want to jump on top of yours. I wanted all of your embrace. All that you can give. But that was only what I wanted. In life things aren't given to you at a very second. Sometimes never at all. Your laugh was a symphony that matched the way my heart beated for yours. Sometimes I wonder. What I'd be like. What you'd be like if you were mine but I guess that's the mystery to it all. I loved you and you weren't even mine. I craved you and I hadn't had the slightest taste in forever. I wanted you. Forever. My mind split into 2 parts but you always brought it into one. She thought that love was never truly at happen at this age but then again what if it's the right person. That's when you came in. You completed me and my thoughts even when I didn't want you to. You ripped me out of my dignity and grace. I  couldn't even look you in the face. It was getting hard to be around you again. I had to stop before it was the end. I stopped. Yes I stopped. All the pain and the sorrow, washed away. Maybe all I needed, was the rain.

I sat awake all night thinking of her...
Much similar to many of the last 150 nights...
I have things to tell her and things to ask her.

I wonder to myself if we're ever meant to be...
She tells me no. She gives me no chance...
She has no plans to continue with me, or give me a second try.

She's falling in love with another girl. Yes, I am a boy...
That girl probably has me beat, in a multitude of ways...
That girl probably treats her sweeter than I ever did or ever would.

But I would die for this girl. She became the reason I lived.
I told her my heart beated to satisfy hers...
And it was true.

I've been in a lot of messes with her.
I've gotten myself in a lot of trouble.
I beat her down emotionally until she could barely breathe.

Much like I've been, lately.
There have been days where I want to die.
There have been days where I wish I'd never met her.

But I get past those days...and I still come to live for her.
I know she doesn't want me anymore.
I know things are awkward...that she wants to be friends, but

I can't get over her. It bothers her.
It hurts me to see her with someone else.
Every time I say something though, its a stab in her chest.

Nowadays, she stabs back.
For all of this pain, for all of these feelings, I still wish her the best.
She was my best friend. I know I'm not hers.

This journey's been tough...it has really been hard.
But I'm living for her. I'm living in hope.
Hope I shouldn't have.

I don't know what to do or say. Or how to move forward.
She knows how I feel. But I can't shake these feelings away.
I don't know if I ever will.

Lord, it bothers her so much. It bothers me.
All we do is hurt each other.
I want her to be happy, and she is now without me, but love is such a selfish thing.

I am only a young man. I am only human.
I want to experience the world with her...
And she just wishes I would leave hers alone.

I want to tell her to be okay. Not to worry a bit about me.
But here I am laying awake, until 7AM.
Here I am, life leaving me behind. Opportunities missed.

I miss her everyday. I miss her soft skin, her eyes and her warmth.
I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I know why she didn't stay.
There are better fish in the sea, than me.

But could she survive on me? Why do I even ask?
Why should I try to degrade her life, for my own sake?
I want to be around to make hers better. But someone else does a better job at that.

I've cried and puked for so long now, and did I for nothing.
It doesn't change the fact that she's in someone else's arms.
It doesn't help mine or hers cause.

But she means the world to me.
The giganticism of that statement...
Is the reason I am lonely without her.

My world is so cold, I don't want to live...
Sometimes I tell myself "Well I don't need her anyway!" but sometimes she just...
Means the world to me.

I jokingly told her that all I wanted for Christmas was her.
Unfortunately the statement was true...
And here I am sitting alone on Christmas morning in my bedroom crying over her.

I had things planned for her and I...
Events, road trips...
None of them would necessitate being a couple...but those plans were for us...us.

She wants to be friends, she told me, since I'm so upset...
She told me, "If she even loves me" she loves me like a brother...
Would she be okay spending 7 days hundreds of miles away, sharing a bed with a brother?

I really just want to show her a good time, after all.
She saved my life, became my partner, my life's meaning.
She built me back up and taught me how to love myself. She became my world...

But I really ****** up a lot of things. She inherited a broken me.
She never completely fixed me. There were cracks...
The glue fell apart under the intense heat of moments, under pressure and stress.

I need her though. If only she would come back...
But she's so happy now, as long as I'm not mentioned.
She gets horrid flashbacks, panic attacks, anxiety. She feels broken...

And all I want to do is fix her.
But she has someone else to do that now...someone so much better.
Meanwhile I continue to come undone...

Each day I get a little worse...condemn myself a little more...
Decide to throw away another plan, because she knows my feelings...
And it just wouldn't work.

She means the world to me.
My world is dark now, without her.
I'll love her like this until God knows when...

And that probably means we can't be friends...because she can't enjoy my company...
And when I'm with her, I'm like a bird in a cage, screaming to be let free.
I just want to be able to love the love of my life again.

I'm just sitting looking at the people
Praying for the ones who out here tryna be illegal
Lifes like a game but its one we shouldn't play
Its people out here dying in my city everyday

For the ones who got a loved in the jail
If I had the money I'd pay to let them all bail
I'm keeping it real this is how I live
God made me as a person who don't mind to show and give

I just want this world to know
Judging a person doesn't mean there true feelings will show
They hold it deep deep inside there hearts
Crying cause they see yall tryna tear them straight apart

To those people all they tryna do is hate
So put a smile on your face and move at your own rate
I pray for the young people going crazy
Hoping that young girl make it with her baby

I pray for all my people in the streets
Hoping in the future we ll have statistics beat
Main they say us black people been beated
The only reason they won is cause the racist people cheated

Gotta admit this world can be a shame
They say we living in a world of the cools and the lames
Ha who ever said that your a joke
Why cause that lie has been broke

But sadly our people dying off lust
Which shows in relationships we can't even have trust
Looking at world all around in range
Just be real I hope one day it change

I'm always thirsty
My craving never subsides
I found peace in you
That's why I ate you.
I wanted a piece of that.
I have realized that I cannot be saved.
I walk with the ******.
I live amongst beasts.
  I feed on the innocent.

...Like a vampire

Always aware
That I am a special kind,
but a very lonely kind
I found a home with you
But you slept and I couldn't.
You were wholesome and I wasn't.
Your heart beated and I didn't have one.
So I ate you.
From the inside out.
  I'm sorry.

It's been a long day.  Better yet along tiresome road from the cross point where I changed my direction. The room was cool from the outside pounding heat and within Minutes was undressed bags resting on the floor. The long fall in to the soft fluffy pillow top caught me in its inbrace like her arms held me to her breast.  I pull the soft brown 1800 thread count sheets up my body getting slight flash backs of her soft Nubian skin brushing against my skin.  Consciously I was fading with my right hand over my heart..  The ceiling fan turned and my heart beat as the fan turned.  Before darkness had it's grasp on me I reached under my pillow for the note they will find.  My heart beated through my chest, the last thing I thought before sleep was how does this heavy broken thing keeps working and if they find the note can they tell I died from my secret broken heart.

I think the writer in me died when I wrote this poem
gravity pulled me in, the galaxy was screaming my name
the stars were craving for my sparkle to shine next to them

my life was like a puzzle and there were so many pieces missing
in the search to find all of those pieces I didnt only lose soulmates..
I also lost the most valueable thing a human could have.. I lost myself..

I started to make a home out of all the places I have bin, empty places
the world was crumbling and I needed to get away from here, soon

but you always were the one who was keeping me here, save and calm
this human was the reason of my breathing the reason my heart beated
it was not right to live like this, it was wrong to live like this, wrong

and I never was a person who would wait for the storm to pass
I loved dancing in the rain with my demons right beside me..

the passion for painting faded just  like your picture was fading ..

With my feet above the graves
I can see the ghosts of good laughs
And the souls of endless tears
The hearts that beated for each other's arms
But it's the sound of recklessness that swallows me,
Every other passerby looking to be free
To linger in the shadows of evils retreats
I heard them from far calling across the sea
I saw all the faces of hopeful need
Lost in the rubble are all of their screams
I can hear them calling out to me
Because what you can hear is what you can't see.

It's over...'
it echoed loud  and clear.
Her mind was racing
and her heart frozen in fear.

It only lasted a brief second as
broken shards sawed her heart in half.
Blood gushed from her emotional veins
unraveling to an unknown path.

Droplets of pain overflowed her eyes as
blood blistered and beated to her brain.
She knew then for a long time her life
and her heart would never be the same.

His heart beated to the rhythm of her high heels against the faded red floorboards.

She was once a ruthless Amazon
She fought for pride and honor
War was the norm
The battle was always raging

Then a liar came along
Disguised as a lost prince with a dark past
He won her over
Made her believe she was a Queen

The once Amazon warrior fell for the fake prince
He dazzled her with kisses and touching words
And the heart she thought to be dead
Beated with a burning passion
Her love burned for the "prince"

With a wicked smile he told her the truth
Told her he never loved her
Told her all he said was lies
He ripped her heart out
Laughed when she began to weep

The poor Amazon Queen fell to the ground
She clutched her old battle ax
Saw the warrior she once was
With an agonizing cry she slammed her ax onto the ground
Through the broken ground ****** tears spewed out
She drowned in her crimson tears
As the fake prince woed another innocent heart

We walk and talk  
We laugh and smile
We pretend ...

But ...

I hide behind these walls
I fake the laughs and smiles

And this pain comes in bottles!!!

It ****** and probes
Until it is gone

But the truth is
It will never go away

Because ...

Behind these walls hides all the pain you caused

But you ...

Don't seem to notice
Cause you believe it was all my fault

Even though you were the one who left me
Even though you were the one who beated and yelled at me

But now they now ...

I hide behind your walls
Walls I will never escape

you tried to break me.
but you didnt know that i was already strong.
im shatter resistant against your words that should have pierced but didnt.
i was already built to resist you.

im resistant to shatter because ive already been shattered before.
ive been broken and ive always been the one to pick up the pieces of glass and reconstruct the mirror.
and in the end of building it back, i just see myself more,
and the pained expression i bore through our relationship.

i fell for you.
your bathwater eyes seeped me in until i was swallowed whole by you.
and now im left in the dark, being swallowed in thoughts of you.
swallowed thoughts of you my immunse system cant digest -
so i threw up.

your toxicity poisoned my vessels.
replaced what was once me into now whats of you.
the lies you fed me coarsed through me till it became a part of me-
now apart from you.
i let your toxic violate me if it meant it never abandoned my body.
i hated being apart from you.
and now i only realise that is the consequence of drugging myself with you.
in my veins, blood, life
and in the heart
that once beated for you.

im shatter resistant.
sticks and stones may break my bones but you never broke me.
i became damaged, but never broken.
but damage heals,
like broken bones.
and like broken bones it’ll heal and be even stronger.

resistant to the next.
resistance to the next.