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Angie Sea Nov 2018
I miss the way things used to be gentle
when fornication was sweet
and you felt why it would be called making love
When did it become just a primal thing you did
with people who couldn't say they love you
I can't say there's no passion
but I want to be more than a receptacle
for someone's leftover cathartics.
What happened to our slow dances
and all the joy of teasing through shy glances
How did we get right to being *******
and the company of toys and afterthoughts
I thought you knew I only wanted you
without the adornments and games
there's a world of things we haven't done yet
with our bodies you've yet to whisper my name
But now there's no healing to this ***
and I miss the way things used to be gentle.
Angie Sea Nov 2017
I wonder what it's like to know that two and a half years later, you're still the center of his heart. I wish I could have that space, to finally take that place. Because despite his reassurances of being mine, you're still the one he chooses everytime. I've come to despise the month of May, for those are with you, his best of days. He mocks me with your presence, disrespecting the time we share in the present. There's a child in me that wants to beg, but here I lay in my sorrow instead. Wanting for him to let go of his dime, to finally wield his actions kind. I wonder why he chose me, to stain with such a jealousy. Your beauty is on his pedastal, a treasure I can never be. I hope one day he'll end his jest, of making me known that I am less. But I'm shown your memory I'll always have to contend, so someday he'll reveal it's all until then. I hope it won't be too late, when there's no more anguish left to wait.
Angie Sea Oct 2017
You've been holding on for more than two years
and I can't fight with that kind of memory
All the time you've had to romanticize a lost
and hit replay on the moments
I have my own nostalgia and what if questions too
But I tucked them away when we became
so I wouldn't be afflicting on you this torment

So I don't need to replace her
And I'm not naive enough to think I can
But I can only be a part of an us
That I don't have to compete for
Because I'm me and you say you've made your choice
But the most unkind thing you can do
Is compare me to a memory.
Angie Sea Mar 2017
Rest enough for the both of us
I know you're in peace
you send some to me daily
I'll always remember your lessons
hustle with dignity
and grind for the life of me
be kind, give to charity
cuz good comes to the good
and a good soul's always the best to be
You were a brother then and are to this day
just because this world is where you were taken away
that'll never stop me from all the thanks that I'll say
You always knew how to motivate
me when I was down for the play
You were my doody, you'd hype till I stayed
I showed you my weaknesses and you'd say not today
today we'd fight and keep living stay not afraid
child's play compared to the light this life's gained

actions speak louder so I learned watching you
leading by example, always told me the truth
growing you showed and I knew, how to be greater
feel first, judge later
brother words are my savior
but you're the inspirator
can you tell I'm trying to recover to Recovery
grateful for every reason
to keep being the best of me
It's like a new discovery
I've never seen with such clarity
still going through changes
could never exercise what fame does
even if you weren't almost famous
priceless is all the exchanges, we'd
stay up all night finding something to believe
in, I'll never forget, not for an eternity
when you said you'd never regret believing in me.
always come from a place of love
Angie Sea Jan 2017
Have you trapped yourself
trying to articulate
gray
Alors Beckett
I don't always comprehend
but my eyes weep
all the same
you bicker banter
circling squares
so much nonsensical purpose
so so naturally
I'm scared to ponder for
too long it's been
too much of too little
(Pause.)
Are we all beggars
of stories
blind to all
but bind to time
seeking sunshine
Are we but a topple
away from the beginning
or endings
Humor me
(Pause.)
Did you keep coming back
leave once twice
five times in all
to spin me away
with two windows
with lights I couldn't place
with falling and entrances
and sheets of cloth
not music
not white
(Pause.)
I am laughing
at the sadness
not blind yet
Do I sit or stand
or kneel
to rejoice
Take your tools
and not quite fools
but keep me awake
I'm in an all too familiar
not quite empty
I've made no impositions
on this all too much family
(Pause.)
How did I get woven
into this game
This isn't mine
no more
my pain is killing
living
still
Listen to me
so so cuckoo
Hear me here
Me to say
Humor me
Sprout
unending
Me to say
There is no more
me
to stay
(Exit Samuel.)
First piece of 2017 :)
Also posted on https://angieseaworks.wordpress.com/
Angie Sea Dec 2016
You've taken my mind
and left me unable
to think a thought
not about you.
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