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Jun 2016 · 503
Still Here
Summer Michelle Jun 2016
I know you're talking
I hear you

I know you're watching
I can feel your stare

I know you notice
When I leave the room

But it's how it feels
When all you are
Exists but it's not alive

I know you're talking
But I don't know why

I know you're watching
But why do you care

I know you notice
But why is it me

Slowly I stopped living
But I still existed
I was still breathing
May 2016 · 539
Follow in Suit
Summer Michelle May 2016
I faced my devils
Now you're facing yours
Are you keeping me around for security
Or do you mean it when you tell me
That you love me

I broke myself down
I bled myself dry
And it seems to me
That I'm watching with my broken eyes
As you do the same

I found my way back through the pain
That my method acting brought me
And now I can only sit and watch you
While you take your pen
And follow in suit

I'm trying to be okay
I'm trying not to push you away
But the devils I forgot to face
Are the ones that arise when love
Is at stake

I believe you when you say you love me
But it's been a while since I've been loved
And every time they leave me
For every reason they said they loved me
So forgive me

I'm still broken
I am whole in more ways than I ever was
But I'm still broken
When it comes to the thought
Of losing you
It's been a while since I've had the chance to write anything.
Apr 2016 · 1.2k
From Ash
Summer Michelle Apr 2016
Oh Honey,
You can't slither like a snake
Then act like you have a backbone

You can't burn the world down
And expect it to rise from the ash

If your cold heart finally thaws,
I hope you're crippled by the mess you've made

Because you can't clip a birds wings
And expect it to fly higher

Oh Honey,
You can't start a fire
Then expect not to be burned
Apr 2016 · 1.3k
Someone He Called "Grandpa"
Summer Michelle Apr 2016
Little boy, looked us straight in the eye
He jumped off the bed
And ****** himself saying
"It's pecker time"
He opened his mouth
And he pointed in
Because grandpa said
And grandpa did.

Little boy, four years old
Wouldn't sleep at night.
"The witch" he'd cry
"Lives in the street lamp.
The witch will come for me!"
He'd scream and cry.
No one knew why,
But grandpa did.
It's disgusting the ways that "family" can hurt you.
Mar 2016 · 2.4k
Cheers
Summer Michelle Mar 2016
You drink to what I have
And don't,
To what I want,
And lost.

Here's to you,
And your bitter soul.

Cheers.
Summer Michelle Mar 2016
All I want is what I can't have
There's a plague in me

As I walk these streets
with the water soaking me
To the surface comes everything
that I kept buried

It feels like everything in me is collapsing.
I can feel the earth shake

It feels like I'm losing everything
I've ever held at an arms length.

Maybe it's meant to be
but I can feel it slipping away.


In this cold bitter storm
I walk in the streets.
When the drops of rain kiss my cheeks,
I close my eyes
And feel the things I hold in deep.
Feb 2016 · 688
SnowAngel
Summer Michelle Feb 2016
We blossomed from the death of leaves
And flourished before the snow froze our hands

...Autumn, Winter

Rebirth of the world thawed us
Before the ripples in the water could settle

...Spring

With every sun rise and sun set
From the heat to the return of that chill
When our hands found each other again

But I fear

That like my name I'm just a season
My time will come to pass
And you'll find someone, and it'll last

...Summer
Jan 2016 · 1.7k
Quick Sand
Summer Michelle Jan 2016
Stop trying to hold me still
I'm sure you mean well,
But your grip can ****.

Your voice is haunting me
How can I find my way
When you're holding so tightly?
Jan 2016 · 461
Four Words
Summer Michelle Jan 2016
I'm at a loss for words
It's like you took them from me
With the last glance you shot me,
And replaced them with the pain
I didn't expect from losing you.

This is my first breakdown
Four months after you walked away
I'm mourning you,
No words exchanged.

Left with
Unanswered questions
And unreturned feelings

I still love you
Jan 2016 · 316
In the Dark
Summer Michelle Jan 2016
I close my eyes to hide from the dark
Who knows what's lying there, fighting to come out
Can't you hear me screaming for some help
I'm crying from the sight
I'm dying to get out
Can you see what's hiding in the dark
Dec 2015 · 691
Her, Him
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
You opened your mouth and let me in. For the first time, you let me in. You never cared, you never will, you’ll never know how to. I tried to force it, I tried to make it, and you never wanted it.


In her mind, things were flying
Chairs, plates, pillows and knives
Every argument turned violence when our pages didn’t match
The screaming and yelling with nothing shouted back
Eyes rolling, no acknowledgement
She blew up and he never batted an eye

He said, “I can’t even love myself, how could I love you?”
And she looked into the street they were walking into
Deserted, dark, dull, as empty as the hope for this love
The concrete making a soft landing for the fall
“I just never cared the way I should have,” he said
Such a cold fear she thought, that he never could

She used to see a fire in every fight she spat
When he’d just stare blank at the wall, nothing in mind
“Chill out” the only words he’d say when she got heated
She would feel the flames growing in her mind
The knives would fly, and the plates would shatter
Like her words and all hope for this love


We walked that neighborhood in its entirety, as we almost did with writing our story. Some things may just never have an ending, and I guess I’ll have to be okay with that.


I’m black and you’re white
You may think I’m following your shadow,
But there is no grey area
I’m too dark and you’re too light


No matter how much I want it to, this story will always be open for any ending, good or bad, and we’ll never know for sure if we could have made it. No matter how much I’d like it to, this story of ours will never sell written and left open.


She loved him with everything she had to love with
A broken heart, spirit and with all of her missing pieces
She projected her past demons onto what could have been her angel
She took his wings and thought she burned them
He smiled at her when she said she was sorry
“It’s not too late to say sorry.” he joked, “But you shouldn’t be.”

“I never cared enough to get hurt by you”
He didn’t hold back, “I could have told you to go to hell”
“I didn’t need to talk to you again, I was done.”
She began to hold on to his past tense use of his sharp words
But she shortly began to see that he would always be out of her reach
She could wait forever and he’d never want her heart

Lying next to him she felt like she was with her own love
The love she had to give was holding her, not his hands
The fire of anger, and the sharp objects flying felt so far away
Not the same her that she used to be with him but he didn’t believe
He felt so close and so far lying beneath her
She wanted to hold on, but she knew there was nothing to hold on to


The harder I tried, the further you pulled away. So after you said all that you said, I knew that I had to let go. I can’t try anymore. You’ll never want me the way I’ll always want you. I’ll never have you the way you’ll always have me.
Dec 2015 · 424
Low tide
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
He never said the words to me
He never told me why
All he did was turn his back and run away
He never told me what he thought
He never said goodbye
He left me there with all my thoughts
But not a reason why

Now I'm here
With all my hopes and dreams
Plummeting
Here I am
Holding on to what is left of me
Can you see

I'm holding on to what I see
When I close my eyes
I'm not there yet
This road is long
But trust me
I'll get there

I looked at him long and hard wondering
Why he left
Why he's high
I know he's not the type of guy
To be a man and face the facts
That he's a complete mess
Sometimes I wish he'd look at me
And what I am and say
I can't believe I let you down
I wish he'd come back now so I could say
It's too late
You've wasted your days on a binge
Because you've lost the fight too long ago

I'm holding on to what I saw
When I'd dream at night
It might seem dark
It might be hard
But trust me
I'll get there
Dec 2015 · 301
Racing Minds
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
Slowly my mind shifts from reality to fantasy,
My vision warps as I lose sense of what’s in front of me.
Is this real or am I just lost in my mind?
Both vivid, but thoughts are consuming.

                    Strong hands grab my waist from behind,
                    I feel their warmth seep into my skin,
                    His breath captivating my every sense.
                    I wonder, “Is this real?” as he holds me tighter, closer.
                    I can’t seem to deny him this satisfaction.

I’ve found myself think on more than one occasion
If this is how we find love
I wonder about whether or not it’s to fill a void
Or if this is an act of rebellion

                    The touch of his hand sends me
                    To a place in myself that I did not know existed.
                    Something about him intrigues me like no other.
                    There’s something inside I see
                    Trying to come out and stay in all at once.

Drawn to the darkest places inside everyone,
My darkness expands.
The comfort of isolation and the warmth of cool air surround me.
Though too weak to carry myself,
I can hold the world for anyone else.

                    The depth of despair is nowhere near the depth of his soul.
                    The scars that he hides to please the ones he loves grip his
                                        lungs.
                 ­   Each day he grows weaker,
                    More afraid of losing the strength to take another shallow
                                       breath.
                    Still he fights for consciousness to consume him.

Tears bleed down my face when I remember
The past few years and what they have done.
I promise myself never again.
I promise myself to **** the spark.
A promise I cannot keep as I’m still falling.

                    The ground is a comforting place to fall to.
                    The concrete makes a soft landing for the fall from the highest
                                       cloud.
                    The world never looked so clear through my blurry eyes,
                    But I’d guessed this is what would become of me.

Captivated in my thought, I can’t see the reality before me.
The madness inside is spewing into my false idea of reality.
These rooms are constantly spiraling out of control.
If I cannot trust my own eye to show me something steady,
How can I know that this world is authentic?

                    I can’t find reality in my madness.
                    I can’t find a dreamland in my consciousness.
                    My hands reach for my head
                    Hoping to hold onto the idea of sanity.
                    Is the rush of people around me real or am I just lost in my
                                       mind?

My thoughts are consuming the sense I had left.
I watch as I see myself dissolving in the surrounding air.
Barely clinging to the pain I’ve lost the safety of my heart.
I’m trying to make sense of the games I watch in play,
But nothing but Pain comes to say:

          “Take away my sense, take away my love.
          Pain; a safe place to stay it seems to be.
          See the man inside of you running away while you exhale?
          It seems to me that you’re trying to run from something too.”
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
I can't say that I want someone to save me
          I've got nothing to be rescued from
I can't say I haven't rescued myself
          I've got nothing to be rescued from

Time moves in mysterious ways
          Sometimes it seems to be still
But other days it seems
          We're moving in fast motion

My memories haven't faded away
          And I can't seem to move past this stage
I'm mourning - not quite mourning
          I hoping - not quite hoping
I'm just stuck in the same cycle
          Of spyraling myself to the ground
Dec 2015 · 729
Elements
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
I look up for the comfort of the air to wrap its self around me
The brisk air kisses my cheeks and turns them red
This is something I’ll never lose

I stare into the bright light of the flame and let its dance fulfill me
The warmth it emits fuels the hope in my eyes
This is something I won’t forget

I suffocate under the water but it slowly releases me
The coolness of my choking turns my lips blue
This is something I’ll hold onto

I breathe in the dust as I walk out at dusk looking for a new day
The grit leads to my coughing on every breath
This is something that won’t last
Dec 2015 · 497
Promises Kept
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
Shaking
The ground is shaking and I can see
Your heart is breaking with every step I take
It's crazy
It's crazy how all of this has changed
So much between us
When I promise, I mean it

Hold your breathe baby
Hold it for me
I promise I'll be back before this all ends

There's a split in the ground
Beneath your feet
Please be careful, lovely
You're playing with fire the more you breathe
I'm sorry for this
For causing you're suffocating
I promise, I'll be there again

Hold your breathe baby
Hold it for me
I promise I'll be back before this all ends

Hold your breathe baby
Hold it for me
I promise I'll be back before this all ends

When I promise
I mean it
I promise I'll be back again.

Hold your breathe baby
Hold it for me
I promise I'll be back before this all ends

Shaking
The ground is shaking again
Ican see you fall inside
The cracks we have made
When I promise, I mean it
I'm back now
Im back now just in time to watch
You're suffocating
I promised, I'd come back
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
It doesn't matter what I write
This all lives inside me still
Waiting around to strike

I think I've lost before I start
I think I've failed before I've tried
I think it's over before it could ever begin
I am my own worst nightmare

The music I've held so dear to my soul
Should shed light on what I feel
Do you give it a chance
Do you give me a chance
Before you cast you stones and cast your judgements on me

I think I'm fat when I starve
I think I'm ***** when I'm clean
I think that, I'm sure that you could never want me
I am my own misery

The fires I'm watching, so close in sight
Could burn even our sun
Could you come closer, ***
Oh, will you stay with me
This time I meant everything I said, I promise

I think that I'm worthless
I think I'm a prize
I think that I'm clueless
I think that I'm bright
I live in the darkness
But I hold the light
I could get out but there's nothing for me
At least in the cold I have myself
Dec 2015 · 2.4k
Cake
Summer Michelle Dec 2015
I know now
That we must protect what we love
I know now
That we can't let opinions in
Because if you love cake
And someone else doesn't
You wouldn't stop eating the cake
Because they didn't like it
Would you?
Nov 2015 · 367
Broken Beauty
Summer Michelle Nov 2015
The chill just crept into me
My smile faded suddenly
The feeling of it ending
The beauty and the broken
The destruction of it all
Slowly time ends us all
Summer Michelle Nov 2015
Busy tones fill the ears
Just to hear answering machines
Messages left unanswered
Until the time is wrong
Left wondering why they're gone
Young one, turn to a pen

Tops off to them all
Pants fall just the same
Maybe this is what they meant
When they said love is an action
We don't know why
But the hole isn't filling

How many times can this be written
How much is there to say
I wear this cross on my sleeve
To remind me
That I'm not alone and I
Can stay strong

Their screaming voices saved this one
Giving an outlet for the pain
But it became too easy to live there
Haunting themselves with the sounds
Of unpleasant settling
And unwanted misery

How many times can this be written
How much is there to say
I wear this cross on my sleeve
To remind me
That I'm not alone and I
Can stay strong

I need a new muse
The past is daunting
Haunting every part of me
Killing any chance
Of a future
I may blow my fuse
Nov 2015 · 724
Run away love
Summer Michelle Nov 2015
I'm in love with eyes
that can show me their soul
I'm in love with hands
that hold me tight but gently
enough to make me want more
I'm in love with the smiles
that show multiple emotions
I'm in love with that walk
the one that shows that
there was a chip on their shoulder
but they've brushed it off
I'm in love with that stand
The stand that shows
that they've tried so hard
and they've come so far
I'm in love with the perfectly imperfect
And that is where my heart will stay
In love with yours
I'm in love, but I've lost it
It ran from me
hurt and lost
It ran and
I'd do anything to have it run back
or to run into it again
Nov 2015 · 260
Where Did They Go
Summer Michelle Nov 2015
Tell me where all of the good ones have gone
Because I can't seem to catch a glimpse.
I've given all I have to give and nothing seems to be enough.
I'm at my wits end trying to be, the girl I know I should be.
But no matter how hard I try
My best attempts aren't enough.

Every night I cry myself to sleep wondering
What I could do to make it clear.
Wondering how I can make him see what I'd do to see him smile.
Wondering if it means anything to him that I'd do anything for him.

Tell me where all of the good ones have gone
Because I can't seem to catch a glimpse.
I've waited up for days just hoping he'd throw me a speck of hope.
I gave it to myself because he won't spare the time.
They say that we all find the one, but it seems to me that mine has died,
Because inside, I feel alone
And nothing is left to bear.

I've never missed a pain so much before
I never really cared.
Until I said I’m done
I never really knew I loved you.
Or how I love you.
Every night I cry myself to sleep
Wondering if there was anything I could do to stop you.
Every night I fight so hard to close my mind from thoughts of you.

Tell me where all the good ones have gone
Because I can't seem to catch a glimpse.
This one wants to get too close and that one won't get close enough.
Over there
He thinks of what he might take off of me tonight.
But here
He can't stand the thought of being next to me.
And that one doesn't seem to see why I can't believe.

Tell me where all the good ones have gone.
From where I stand they want what they want
And nothing more with you.
So tell me where all the good ones have gone
Because I can't seem to catch a glimpse.
Nov 2015 · 338
Flame
Summer Michelle Nov 2015
There's always been something keeping us divided.
It's a skeleton in your closet and the devil in my pocket.
You're the brightest ray of sunshine I've seen in a while.
I don't want you to go.

As I breathe in, the pain slips away.
I want you to do this, I want you to fix me but the pain inside is rooted too deep.
As I breathe out, I know we'll loose our flame.

You tried to leave because you know it's not fair, I shouldn't put you through this again.
Please forgive me, I'll do anything for you.
I'll throw it all away if you'll say you'll stay another day.

As I breathe in, the pain slips away.
I want you to do this, I want you to fix me but the pain inside is rooted too deep.
As I breathe out, I know we'll loose our flame.

It's too hard for me, I want to be the man you deserve but I'm just the shell of a man.
I'm still the broken boy I was, just hiding behind the mask of a man.
My devils are facing me, they're in the way.
I can't wait for you to fix me, even though I know I can't fix myself any faster.

As I breathe in, the pain slips away.
I want you to do this, I want you to fix me but the pain inside is rooted too deep.
As I breathe out, I know we'll loose our flame.

I'll leave you like this:

Angels like you don't belong with demons like me.
I can't tell you why.
Or I can sell you a million lies.
I know I can't handle something so good.
An Angel like you deserves so much more than my corrupted soul.

Let me blow out our flame.

— The End —