Crystal beads of sweat
It's the beginning of a flood
Their translucence reveals an anguish
That is growing underneath
Causing them to swell
A great heaviness pulls
There is no resistance
They start a lowly journey
Moved in surrender to greater will
As the purest heart crumbles
One drop follows after another
Forming glistening streaks
Along a spotless brow
The tender heart soon shatters
Under the weight of woe
Drops fall to the ground
Like glistening shards of crystal
Where the beads first surfaced
A single crimson drop forms
It slowly paints a stripe
Down that stainless skin
It rolled along the hairline
Over the cheekbone to the jaw
In a moment of uncertainty
It clung there at the edge
With no alternative to release
The final hold was given up
Like a rose petal it fluttered down
Gently landing in dampened earth
Where sweat and tears first fell
At this silent touch of crimson
Broken crystal drops transformed
Color slowly deepening
Dirt glittering with garnets
Each hearts' filth was covered
But their purity had this stain

How insulting to You, precious Lord, I have been.
My efforts are spent seeking to please merely men.
Although, they're as imperfect and lowly as I,
Yet, I’ve held their unworthy opinions too high.
When my attention should be set firmly on You,
Who appreciates all that I am and I do.
It wavers when I look into judgmental eyes
And fear of mistakes creates Your presence’ disguise.
Consuming frustration! I will never be free,
If I try to determine what they think and see.
Genuine satisfaction can only be found
After losing myself in a worship unbound.
My heart’s open to You but to man it is sealed.
Only there, my perfection through Christ is revealed.

Long ago, I closed my eyes with the warm sun on my face
And I dreamed of finding more of myself beyond this place
So I set out on a journey that would take most of my life
I searched every path but fumbled back when met with strife
Each turn and new horizon just a mirage of hope that faded
The day brought less resolve; the nights despair invaded
My foolishness deluded me and priceless years it stole
Until I was left with nothing in a wasteland of my soul
Who am I beyond these mazes? I thought I could be more.
Now standing here, I see tracks of the lives that went before.
We are all the same; life ends with a breath just as it starts
So I closed my eyes and understood... I am no more beyond my heart

We have things in our life that are precious
They are the parts of us
That make us who we are
The things we will never forget
They make us whole and leave a scar
A seed plants itself in your heart
It happens without your control
But suddenly it’s there
It’s a delicate thing that gives you joy
It doesn’t matter if it’s imperfect
But you never want to lose it
Our lives will consist of these pieces
That are like dandelion seeds
We feed them love without thinking
From the core of our being
Without just one, we aren’t whole
Why can’t we hold them all together
So that forever we have it all
Inevitably time blows like the wind
Each fragile seed flies away
We can dance around to catch them
But love was never ours to hold
It must be free to live and breathe
To create and to pass away
Every part of our soul that we have fed
That feeds us and makes life worth it
Belongs to the maker of the wind
The One that is greater than it all
Who holds everything in balance
The core that each life belongs to
That very heart of Love
Saves every smile and tear
From the beginning to the end
And is painting a beautiful portrait
As the breeze blows each moment away
So that when we look back at our life
We see the precious memories
Blessings that never truly disappeared
It starts but doesn’t end bare
Loving, remembering, painting
Until your picture is complete
A dandelion in God’s hand
With every part that made you...you

As I gaze into the world
I see more than eyes can see
There’s a beauty flowing surely
Through hidden veins within each soul
My own beating heart cannot escape
That special blood that burns for transparency
All it takes is the clarity of a simple step
To break out the confined colors of my spirit
Looking in the mirror, I see a fleeting image
It holds little weight as I grasp it for a moment
I only tune it for the grander picture
My physicality renders itself to my heart’s will
The warmth in a precious moment
Revives my inspiration for today
But my artistic passion has a hunger
That I feel so strong but can't be quenched
So, for this love I continue seeking
To even further depths of who I am
I always find a different place to unlock
And set myself free to sing the imprisoned song
Dance is the hidden language of my soul
That I must express with every measure of me
It’s who I was, who I am, who I’ll always be
If I should stifle the flame and fall silent
It’s like the sweetest dream that was never dreamed
Like a dire prayer without the faith to be prayed
Like a true love that wouldn’t be sacrificed for
Like an anguished tear that wasn’t allowed to fall
Though I must nurture and understand this voice
Before I let it go and the first chord is rung
Courage and vulnerability need melding together
As a tool forged in brokenness not perfection
Pain is just an old friend that holds my hand
Strengthening while reminding me of my humanity
When frustration winds itself around me
I won’t be hindered in pursuing higher goals
I know that no symphony can carry on forever
I only hope that what I create and leave behind
Is a clear, beautiful melody amidst the world’s complexity
That shows how meaningful and worthwhile is the journey
To be a dancer

I’m walking on my failure
Like the water in the sea
Out there I see my Sailor
He is calling out to me
All I need is meager trust
That His grace won’t let me sink
On His boat is written Just
No water removes that ink

You will find me here
Where I've curled up to hide
You will find me here
I'm waiting to be found
You will find me here
And stroke my hair aside
You will find me here
To share my tears with me
You will find me here
Staying until they're dry
You will find me here
Then lift my head again
You will find me here
So suddenly I'll see
You will find me here
It's your presence that I need

You are made of gold
But each moment you can’t hold
Even you are not your own
Though each breath is what you’ve sown
Your life is in God’s hand
Who counts each grain of sand
So give everything you are
Because death is never far

All is dark except I see
These extended arms in front of me
They are waving, trembling
I barely have the sight to see
These open hands in front of me
They are reaching, searching
I hardly have the light to see
These stretching fingers in front of me
They are straining, grasping

As I watch, how strangely familiar I find
These arms, these hands, these fingers
What could fill them
That would still them?
As I look, I realize that they’re mine
these arms, these hands, these fingers
What could hold them
That would console them?

In this darkness, am I the only one who sees
The struggle in front of me?
It is desperate, helpless

All is numb except I feel
This empty space inside of me
It is widening, deepening
I only have the sense to feel
This growing hunger inside of me
It is pressing, aching
My nerves are acute just to feel
This enduring famine inside of me
It is agonizing, deadly

This pain worsens with the sight of
These arms, these hands, these fingers
What would occupy them
That would satisfy them?
I am feeling exhausted by the fight of
These arms, these hands, these fingers
What could nourish me
That would flourish me

In this void, am I the only one aware
Of the pain inside of me?
I am in anguish, pleading

Through the darkness, I finally see
Two different hands reaching out to me
They are calloused, scarred
Closing this void, I begin to feel
Such merciful love consuming me
It is boundless, overflowing
I find new life the moment I take
These hands that defeated death for me
It is abundant, eternal

The fullest joy He freely offers with
His arms, His hands, His fingers
His love fills me
Peace stills me
His gentleness holds me
Grace consoles me
To this joy I’ll always cling with
My arms, my hands, my fingers
His presence occupies me
Truth satisfies me
His word nourishes me
Hope flourishes me

In those depths, why was I so unaware
Of Him standing right in front of me
He is my stronghold, Deliverer

Memories are like fireflies in the dark of her loss
Where love grapples to know bounds only the spirit can cross.
I experienced the intangible breath of her soul
As it escaped and created this invisible hole.
Her small, fleeting life showed me that I can't always hold on
But precious things must be cherished even after they're gone.

The world rushes by through my window
I try to capture each glimpse in my mind
How can I save the small wonders I know
If the scenes come just as quick as they go

I watch it all pass in the distance
Wanting to spare these memories for you
But futility holds with resistance
And those things slip away in an instant

What is it worth if I can't have you here?
Beauty is dull and amazements are cheap
Nothing can matter when my heart isn't near
I'd trade all these sights for you to appear

The rising tide brings peace
Healing brokenness in this place
Sweeps and swirls and doesn’t cease
There in the depths of His grace
Holding back just on the verge
My wounds are only kissed
No fears within submerge
In merely strumming mist
Long drenched by anxiety
But completely parched beneath
My failing shelter of piety
Like a fearful sword in its sheath
Now I’m discontent just to be
Held in such a mighty hand
Longing with pride to use me
But immobile at His command
Yet grace crashes at the rubble
Each rock was a feeble attempt
To build above my trouble
No carpenter to preempt
The cross a simple design
Has stood throughout the ages
So all this mess I will resign
To redeeming force that rages
Though this awesome sea I dread
It will overcome my doubt
If by tattered wood I’m led
Until life as loss I count
I’m standing in the middle
And my strength is growing
Beyond this frame so little
Here’s where the power’s flowing
Now the risen tide of peace
Rolling calmly over my face
Sweeps, swirls and will never cease
Here in the ocean of His grace

Time is a prison
That I cannot escape
It drags me back and forth
Lashed against square walls
There is no break
In its relentless order
It’s like a tyrant
Commanding my existence
Everyone else is trapped
In their own ticking prison
But they stopped fighting
Gave into the stupor
Rats on a wheel
is much less painful
Than running up against
Time’s unforgiving confines
Why are we all roped in?
Is there no way out?
Of this looming pendulum
Pounding in my ears
Laughing at hope
A sarcastic witch
Where is God?
He doesn’t put himself in a box
His days are unnumbered
This is a joke or a game
I don’t want to play
I just want to be free
This monotonous pulse
Every second dictated
Drives me into madness
But I’m the only sane one
who still acknowledges captivity
I will conquer this regime
Even if God is the dictator
Because there is only void
Between the beats
Blackness, stillness
That’s where God hides
Beyond time, beyond life
I will break the code
I will find Him
If He’s not there
At least, I will be free
In the peace and quiet

When the darkness closes in
And I feel entrapped by sin
May I hold fast the sight
Of God's unfailing, guiding light
If its brilliance becomes obscure
Of its presence I'm always sure
So towards that glimmer I will crawl
Afraid to walk or I might fall
Until, at last, my eyes will see
His grace, the door that sets me free

It was a sunny day in May
When my hopes were stuck at sea
Counting blessings for the day
Waiting that grace might set them free
I came across a horseshoe crab
Life seemed as heavy as its shell
Burdens tacking on the tab
Waves relentlessly unquelled
Flipped helplessly undisguised
Grand purposes washed away
Blindly withering to gull cries
Despair cast around the bay
My stare breaks misfortune’s luck
Faith set aright by stronger hands
Plodding heartened from the muck
Sorrows evanescent in the sand
A weakened creature found favor
Now glides peacefully towards the deep
Trusting I too have a Savior
I surrender to His keep