Today I feel happy
But how long will it last
Like boat swept beneath the sea
I feel myself drowning in the past
I’m a prisoner of my own mind
Staring helplessly through the bars
Wanting to escape, to unwind
To a time before I felt these scars

Can you learn to love-
wait, scrap that...
Can you learn to know me,
again,
once the dust
has settled?

We loved in technicolor!
Your words, your laugh,
your smile and your soul
painting my life in colors
I never knew existed.
And then you left,
and the colors faded fast-
leaving me in a
grayscale gaze.

It’s always
the least suspecting one.
You convince yourself
they are your stars and sun,
When all along,
they were just
another bullet in the gun

I don’t know how
I ended up on this planet.
Maybe I crash landed;
It’s possible.
I’ve tried to adapt,
but it ain’t easy,
believe me.
Sometimes I feel human
but like rainbows,
those moments never last.
I still have a lot to learn
and a lot to regret
but overall,
I think I’m doing okay.
Maybe I’m not so alien
after all.

The night is young,
the night is ours.
Hand in hand,
we'll steal the stars
and all the lonely sunflowers
with no sun to face.

The clock strikes 3:33
Oh what a time to feel so lonely
The rain outside, it’s bittersweet
The air is thin, a pulsing heat
And every night you’ll tell yourself
That everything will be alright
You’ll pick your journal from the shelf
And find solace in the night

To want
and to be wanted
is an all too human condition-
or is it a flaw?
Either way,
it is nothing to
feel shame for.

She asked if I
wanted to dance in the ocean
I said 'only if
you promise we won't drown'.

spring has sprung
and i’m left in
the snowy mountains
to face the damage done.

Sometimes
I find myself
rewriting poems
Changing all the words
except for
your name

Sometimes I wonder
why you stopped loving me
and then I self-reflect
and wonder why I
stopped loving me
too.

It's almost midnight-
the car is gaining speed
and we're passing
world after world.
There is no destination, baby,
it's all about the journey
as we fade
into the night.

Sometimes I crave company
yet yearn for solitude.
We strive towards things
that we know will get away
and yet we fail to comprehend
that basic fact of life.
We search for lasting happiness
yet find ourselves lost in petty things.
We want to impress the world
yet we can’t even love ourselves.
Let’s let go of what we think
we need to be
and become what we
want to be.

It’s the end of winter
And happily,
The sun is smiling
Down on me

It’s the dawn of spring
And calmingly,
The moon is smiling
Down on me

You are a heartless
creature and I will always
be afraid of you

6:59 PM
7/11/20

You are Virgo,
and I am a Gemini.
I want you to know
that I want you and I.

There is a
song inside of you.
If only you took the
time to sing.

My heart will always
find its way to you
like a sunflower finds its way
to the sun.

There’s a symphony
in her voice and it's playing
on all my heartstrings

10:19 PM
10/9/19

For a long time,
I had gotten used to being alone and not having to depend on anyone but myself.
I made myself believe I didn’t need anyone and that feelings weren't an issue.
That I could be completely fine on my own.
But then you came into my life.
I made the mistake of opening up.
And now you've turned everything around.
I'm back where I started,
only now, i feel like a fool for even thinking that things could change.
I guess there's nothing I can do but clean up the mess and move on.
It scares me, to not have control like that.
How easy it is to become open and vulnerable.
It scares the **** out of me...

I want your smile to be
the last thing that I see
before I fall asleep

and the first thing I see
waking up with glee-
a smile I can keep.

I didn’t believe in fate
Until the universe
Threw me into
Your arms
I didn’t believe in souls
Until our souls
Became one
and the same
No, I didn’t believe in angels
not until I saw you smile;
a heavenly aura
Of beauty
And light

I looked and I looked
deep into your eyes
And there you were
Lost in the fires
You were lost
Nobody was home
I screamed and I screamed
I screamed your name
But nobody was home
You were lost to the flame

You are
the kind of art
that would lure Picasso
and be unable to turn away.
You are the masterpiece
that no one could
understand.

And just like that,
we were
strangers again.

Someday
I am going to meet somebody
and she’s going to be
the moon of my life.
Someday
she will be my muse,
my sun and my stars.
Someday
she will make me swoon
and leave me wanting more
just like you used to

I’ve been writing about you a lot
It comes so easy and I don’t want to stop
For me, it’s a way of keeping you real,
a way of convincing myself
there is something more
It fuels my desire to keep you,
a way of begging the cosmos
to pick up on my words
and turn them into stardust
so they could reach you every night
and when you wake up
you will feel a familiar love
in your heart and maybe know
that it is me thinking of you
from another place,
wishing, willing
that our souls will somehow
become one.

It’s not easy
to be so far away
to only hear your voice
Instead of my eyes
sketching your face
your curves, your smile
it’s not easy
having a bad day
and not hold
The only person
Who can make it better
it’s not easy
having a good day
but not celebrate
with you that night
to not have breakfast
On a Sunday morning
or maybe dinner plans
for when you get off work
it’s not easy
Missing you
With an empty heart
But I get by
With the thought
Of you in my arms
Again

I daydream about
you and the places we could
go around the world

6:29 PM
30/8/19

You are prettier than a peacock's feathers
Sweeter than all of the sugars
Funnier than the highest of jesters
Like the distant stars,
You cannot be surpassed
You are my universe,
nothing is more vast

Too early, too late-
doesn't matter in the end
so let's get ruined

Her beauty has the strength to illuminate the darkest room
Her presence alone can warm up the darkest of nights
Her eyes, they stare, they take me away
Her smile, they make me forget about life
All that matters right now is this moment
And all the moments we are together
And the thought of even holding you
Is enough to take the pain away
And the thought of even kissing you
Is enough to keep my dreams at bay

One look to the stars
to find no name nor face in
the constellations

10:23 AM
16/7/23

I wonder if the lavender
yearn for her scent
whenever she's not present.

I wonder if the sunflowers
crave her little light
like the sun every night.

I wonder if the roses
envy her beauty
that captivated me.

We remember most
of what we wish to forget-
a cruel brain indeed

2:08 PM
25/12/22

You are amazing,
aren’t you?
A field of sunflowers blooming
in the softest of flesh.

You will always be
near to me as I keep your
smile in my heart

8:57 PM
30/10/23

Death has made
one too many
appearances  
in my dreams.
I forgot how long it's been
since he first woke me up or
how long it's been since
I feared my own
dreams.

Are 'alone' and 'lonely' the same thing?
Are you as alone in a crowd
as you are by yourself?
Is your loneliness the mist
floating on the water
or the lurking creatures
beneath the sea?

Even Tokyo
could never come between us
after all this time

11:39 PM
19/6/19

These days,
they aren't the same
not without your smile
held to such acclaim
These nights,
they aren't the same
not without your warmth
burning like a flame
And this season,
it never felt so cold
never quite the same
without you to here hold

I would fly to Mars
Just to see your smile
a smile brighter than the stars
It makes my heart leap a mile
I would swim an ocean
Just to kiss your lips
I’d feel as happy as a dolphin
That does all sorts of flips

If they wanted to,
they would have and there's someone
out somewhere who will

11:54 AM
24/12/20

All this space between
us means nothing, if we want
it we will get it

2:23 AM
29/12/20

we can just travel
from country to country and
we can disappear

9:40 PM
10/9/19

It isn't the moments of joy,
or the merry memories I miss-
it were the moments of silence spent with you.
To be in your presence-
the quietude-
for it was only you who understood me
and my silence better
than myself.

No one ever told
me that I was the villain
of my own story

7:42 AM
18/9/20

Dear diary;
At last,
it is Friday
and now I want
to make bad decisions
that I can survive.

I may not believe in soulmates
but I do believe that there's someone
out there waiting for you-
whose face you will wake up to
for the rest of your life.
Sure, you may not believe me now-
you can't get over them today-
you probably won't tomorrow-
but just remember that
the silence is okay.
These grey periods in life
are finite and do not need
words to colour them in.