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epictails May 2015
All of them who closed their doors in my life
Where could they be?
What have they become?
Is it just me or are they thinking of me, too?
They are the slippery sand I hold on closely
But not for long
For they always find a way out
I've contained my voice in fleeting goodbyes
I might utter the end that I will never mean
What happens to the pieces of themselves
they asked me to bear?
How does one say goodbye to those?

*So I'll keep them...

I'll keep them
No matter if I am the only one
Who's afraid to forget
I really can't sleep without writing and so at 4 am I am struggling with a lot of things but most of all the annoying eagerness to write.
May 2015 · 882
3-Line Poem: May 11
epictails May 2015
In spite of my tears and the nagging hurt in my chest,
I write—in a fragile paper, perhaps
Hoping against all hopes that the words could save me
therapy
May 2015 · 782
Untitled
epictails May 2015
The ups and downs of a swing
Mirrors the mad ride of my befuddled heart
In one end, my face stretches to a jester's grin
In another my sadness leaps like a gray cloud
It's as if someone is playing, puppeteering my failing will
Pushing the limits of reason from my slipping mind
I seek for the answers
But only questions welcome me
Self-awareness has left, landing on a different plane
I am now in an island
Nowhere to walk on
Save for the abysmal, unclear waters
Of the inscrutable, irretrievable person
I once was
My all too familiar episodes of utter confusion and emotional instability are happening quite frequently, quite recently.
May 2015 · 548
Mom (10w)
epictails May 2015
I am the living portrait of your selflessness, thank you.
Happy mom's day to my mom who I don't tell I love you enough because I **** at saying them. A million times grateful.x
May 2015 · 1.3k
3-Line Poem: May 9
epictails May 2015
There were so many roses
Still, I chose a thorn
Still I chose* **you
off the grid again
May 2015 · 785
Untitled
epictails May 2015
I am a Pandora's box
: an enigma
: a flow of contradictions

I am infinitely pulled by madness and lucidity
: ambiguous
: definite

I am the lake and the river
: deep
: never-ending

I am explosion and implosion
: wrecking anything great
: and infinitesimal in my wake

I am the universe and the  vacuum
: expanding
: condensing

I am two poles wide apart
: the northern
: the southern

I am two realms
: the real
: the surreal

I am the skies and the earth
making love to birth a questionable existence
Dangling precariously on the edge
Floating in a current of self-made paradoxes
Born to be my own antithesis
And breathe with the complexity of it all

Pray forgive me then,
For living as I am
Is a battle in itself
And as usual my inspiration comes at very unusual times
May 2015 · 716
3-Line Poem: May 7
epictails May 2015
Mad, mad Dorotha, gay as a fiend
She had no one to call a friend
Who could dwell in the warm skies with her until the end
May 2015 · 625
3-Line Poem: May 6
epictails May 2015
Golden bird voices in quiet places
Winds in howling caresses
Nature is profoundly mysterious in big and small paces
I'll start doing this as much as I could. There is a need of more metaphors in my writing and I think this is the best way to practice.Making it a daily thing
May 2015 · 493
Untitled
epictails May 2015
When life gets too hard
just remember flowers need a little rain to grow
a break from all the "serious" poetry I've been doing for the last couple of days :D
May 2015 · 883
Winged Hopes (a song)
epictails May 2015
Half smiles leaving trails
Of simple wonder and childlike fantasies
Thought of in carefree days
Strained eyes, suppressed sighs
I see the concealed words in your faraway stares
Your mother and father
Handed you the life that was not your own
Making you a disbeliever of the fate you could have created

Your happiness took flight like a lonely bird
Leaving you with an empty cage to live in
Everything that you are, everything that you ever wanted to be
Are now winged hopes, flying in the horizons of lost dreams

The spark in your eyes tell a different story
From the praises that strangers throw upon you
They know you by face
But they never asked whether you are your dreams
It hurts me to look at my victories
The ones you have given at the palm of my small hands
With your selfless and strong love at the sacrifice of yourself
You are not everyone's hero, but you are mine

Your happiness took flight like a lonely bird
Leaving you with an empty cage to live in
Everything that you are, everything that you ever wanted to be
Are now winged hopes, flying in the horizons of lost dreams

Leave all your hurts to me
Pass on all your wishes to
The little girl who listened to all
The unheard dreams
The unfulfilled promises
Leave them be, let me be
The keeper of every winged hope in your wingless heart
To my inspiration for writing
May 2015 · 735
Silent Horrors
epictails May 2015
words ****
tightening the noose on the neck
stabbing  anyone in their safest places
firing invisible bullets in chests

hate stays at the corners of death
while you are in front of it
shooting arrows aimed at the heart
laced with spoken disdain
cowardly commentaries turned solemn eulogies

he falls to eternal silence
his pained voice echoes in you forever
you walked him to his grave
quietly, convincingly
...

it' getting dark
in your disturbed slumbers, his dying face waits,
uttering that it's now his turn
to bring you to your grave
May 2015 · 943
Untitled
epictails May 2015
Verdicts flung out even without gavels in their hands
Justice's muse fumbles in the dark
Her scales tipping to one side
As partiality has become more burdensome
One failure makes a person
One flawed idea creates a prison of belief
Everyone acts as the jury
Playing criticism like a big survival game
No winners, all self-appointed judges
Took me a lot of time to finish this and I am not even happy with how it turned out. So much for a third (or fourth) draft.
Apr 2015 · 482
Kept Voices
epictails Apr 2015
The execution you have long kept under your rug
Pull it out now, it's the moment to trip
those who have stepped on you
Like assassins in garbs of goodwill
They slashed your mouth in the name of
freedom they alone tamed
Spoiling your identity like a carcass of the history
Will yourself to become the bridge of the
trampled past and endangered future
Your voice is made sharp for a reason
Years of tearing the righteous rhythm
Silenced the anthem of truth

Now, say what you mean
Say what you are
A wall stands between you and
the disbelieving crowd
But clamor until a visible crack appears
Raise your voice, more will come
Eventually breaching the divide
Of the fools and the enlightened
The themes I use in my poems lately have become harder. And the harder they get, the harder it is to articulate my thoughts.
epictails Apr 2015
Skin as fair as ivory
Eyes as arresting as the art of crime
Nose, a high ground where her pride lay
Lips as fragile as her wavering will

She flashed the most agonized smile in the mirror
Beauty so ethereal, beauty breathtaking as a scene
A brew of knife stains, self-loathing and twisted charm

Her face a cherubim's wail
Plagued with deformities she herself named
Miserably patched with skin-shallow creams and cuts
Spilling her diffusing worth with the bitterness of her shame

She looked at the mirror again
(Perhaps the only thing keen on heeding her tell-tale facade)
Where she rendezvoused with a floating ghost in her likeness
Although not quite
For it was a stranger,
Profoundly stranger than the biting truth
she managed to live with
And a face that launched a thousand lies
Apr 2015 · 591
Pointed Fingers
epictails Apr 2015
Leaving marks
Wherever the hand is
Filth going with every stroke
Everyone blames the root for the evil
No matter, the tree does the evil
Foul fingers deep in fault
I digress, I cower
And my mouth saves by spouting lies

Call me the forerunner of silent sinning
Proud heart, detestably weak mind
All I am able is point fingers
To those who did me no wrong
And sit in the corner, unprotesting
Which immensely shadows me
From a fainthearted dark
Apr 2015 · 4.4k
Self-forgiveness (10w)
epictails Apr 2015
Life became an open door the moment I forgave myself
One of the best decisions I have made
Apr 2015 · 685
Threads of the Same Cloth
epictails Apr 2015
Lines stretched from end to end
Tied affinities since time began
We are a queer bunch, after all
One and the same

Through our own making, we disentangled
The threads bringing us together
Circumstances walled us from our humanness
Hardening our fears of embracing
The otherness of others,
The otherness in others
When truly stripped from
All these trivialities and caprices,
We go back to the same cloth
Apr 2015 · 521
Art is Not Consumption
epictails Apr 2015
The too saccharine melodies
spewed by your commercial radio
are a musician's tears

The towering temples of bought art
are the callused hands of painters

The indelible words in the glossiest books
are the wounds of a poet laid bare
for the world to pollute

Art is being defaced in
The name of making a face for those
Who turn the wheels of art
In their favor

Art is being consumed
By the masses who breed consumption
But do not worship the glory of its creation

Art is being forgotten
And the only ones who remember
Are those who suffer for it
This is mediocre at best. I stayed in a cafe for two hours hoping I could make better poems but I guess it's harder when they get more personal. Didn't have the time to write these last couple of weeks because a lot of things happened and i want to disconnect to people as much as possible.  I've been keeping this with me for a long time and is something that I feel so strongly about. This poem does not do the message much justice.
Apr 2015 · 803
Dear Holden
epictails Apr 2015
Come,let's pack our bags
Hunting hats and all
Perhaps Stradtler is straddling
some ****** *****
Right now, pun intended
Ackley's snoring close to you
Ignore the idiot
Now listen to me
You and I
Let's forget Pencey and leave
the **** phonies who run it

We'll walk the streets together
With no dead ends our way
Your fears scare me too, you hear me?
The world is just too phony
For people like us who escape to live

Everyone tells you to grow up
And forget yourself
Just to kiss and dance with their **** grown up ideas
We are both at a losing end
Finding a close to a story that never really began
Let's just bottle up these *******

Holden, nobody really gives a ****
except the cheap, wretched bars downtown
where  old jokes like ourselves
set fire to the downpour
in our heads with more pain and
then some cheap painkillers
***** a little snooze a little
Some you gain, some you lose

Nobody really takes a look
For a **** second, see?
Except the smelly, narrow hotel rooms
Where we can rest our broken shoulders
And become a child once again
Once again, dear Holden
Non sellouts unlike your brother D.B
The door is to remain close
Some phony might take it against us
Take us to Hollywood
The hell filled with phonies

Nobody, Holden, nobody
We are alone
You and me
And the whole phony world killing themselves
While laughing at our struggles
To live our lives a little honestly
Holden Caulfield will always be my favorite character. Perhaps at an even higher rank than Sherlock Holmes. His angst, cynicism and frequent use of profanity is very much like mine. As I was reading the book I felt like I was living his life. This is for a character I really miss and who I'll always understand.
Apr 2015 · 335
Untitled
epictails Apr 2015
Sleeping beside rocks and ants,
Roaming the vast fields like it was their own
Laughing, breathless angels of a blurred heaven,
Everyone thought they've gone mad
While I say they are just a different kind of brilliant

Living in oddly colored homes,
Rusty ceilings and ******* garages,
Singing their hearts out to the hum of a broken stereo
Everyone snickers at their bliss
But I say they are just a different kind of brilliant

Painting stories in abandoned walls
They feel the world is as beautiful as tattered pieces of clothing
As delightful as the scars and bruises in their knees
But the crowd can only feel ugliness
For these free spirits who are a different kind of brilliant

It makes me wonder, everyday,
Why the world runs on similarly crooked ideals
Plenty of despising, cynicism, pessimism
—more cynicism
When at the end of it all
You and me
We're all just a different kind of brilliant
I love how this poem came in my mind at just the right time. I'm planning on redrafting this as many times as I can until such time this deserves to get printed in my personal book of poems.
Apr 2015 · 449
Untitled
epictails Apr 2015
The world is plunging me deeper into black waters with its demands
I am weary, confused and lost
My heart points me in another direction
As I hope to live on my own
Leave me be without anything on my sack of necessities
Except for my freedom I have so long nurtured
Everything is making me so unhappy lately. I cant breathe with how I am here doing nothing important. i'm so tired of school I wanna leave this place and make something of my own even of I have to crawl on filth.
Apr 2015 · 863
Rise
epictails Apr 2015
Rise
From the ashes of your failures

Rise*
From the red hot burn of hate

Rise
From the dissonance subduing your own unique flow

Rise
Rise


You are born to fight the fickleness of life

*Rise
Believe in yourself
Far greater than all your misfortunes combined
losing hope for the past few days. I've made a lot of mistakes and realizations start to dawn on me. I constantly remind myself that I am greater than all my circumstances, all the opinions people give me and all my mistakes
Apr 2015 · 656
Untitled
epictails Apr 2015
A hanging thread of breakable ends
She was the spectacle of the carnival from hell
The belle of the lonely ball
Her face is the tail end of dreams once pure
Broken smiles painting tears in the clear skies
But her hands,
Oh her hands!
I pray they hold me close
For they unravel the sands of time
Speaking to me, quite insincerely,
About a past  uncertain of its fate
And of a girl intoxicated with the promises
Of empty tomorrows
Awaking her up more broken each day
Apr 2015 · 467
All We Could Ever Want
epictails Apr 2015
Thriving quietly in cracked walls
A slight ray of colors in grim halls
Love confounded,
Love lost

For as long as time breathed,
Eluding homes and hearts
Thwarting a kindling song even before it starts
Love abandoned,
Love forgotten

Longing souls out in a parade
Moving along with its unfathomable cascade
Of love's winters
And summers
Of symphonies soaring above
Mindless passions and diluted sensibilities
Catching love's clues like detectives in a daze

Shame love had escaped
From better grasps and hastened gasps
That we have to look horizons for a breakaway

Shame love trades
with loose pennies and kept bills
And we are the pathetic shoppers
Latching onto the commodity

Shame love is a dream
Casting a spell on the sleeping believers
Who wish well it transcends on their waking lives

Shame love is dying
That its last breath is a cry
For those who could not remember how to love

Shame love is all we could ever want
And all we could not have
Apr 2015 · 302
Wrong Timing (10w)
epictails Apr 2015
Death knocked on his door, right when he's started living
Apr 2015 · 346
Untitled
epictails Apr 2015
Hidden calm in a corner
She whispers, distraught, to it
Like a maiden miserly of saving
Ears unhinged from the cacophonies flying amok
Eyes inflamed with blinding unholiness
Her worth, exhausted with the world's venom
But there it lay, profoundly
Always in her reach
A fragment of herself
Buried in a sleeping past
Arms dipping the depths of silence
Solace, she seized
Raising to life a lost will within her dormant abyss
And make light of the chaos shadowing her
Apr 2015 · 1.4k
The System
epictails Apr 2015
A mist withers our eyes
From a destructive what is
Cloaked by the manipulation of fear
The obsessive consumption of greed
The yield of inequality
Blessing the treacherous snake
that is society
Protecting the overbearing tower of hierarchy

We are the rising hope
and the colossal downfall
Of an era so entrenched with fools' promises
and wicked minds
It is not anymore righting a wrong
so much as righting a system of wrong
Once a system of good
Which should have foretold better times
Meant to have put everything in place
But has left in its wake
A black hole that took everything
Right in all of us
In everything worth believing, worth hoping
The kind of thoughts and poems that come to me while I'm in the shower
Apr 2015 · 546
Prayer of a Paraiah
epictails Apr 2015
Grant me the strength
to endure the pain of being different
Apr 2015 · 2.7k
Young Fighter
epictails Apr 2015
A child with no name
In fragile strength and small frame
Will they see you?
Will your pain be theirs?
Your back is giving you will
As each day you seek happier tears
Life has been hard for you
And all of them close their doors at your call
Will they stop and hear you out?
Will they warm your cold nights?

Young fighter,
steady your heart
someday they will know
of the dark that keeps you awake

Young fighter,
buckle your limbs
you've put up quite a lot of fights
there will be more

Young fighter,
pick your torn
legs from the ground
being knocked down is just the beginning

So hang on,
fight on,
brave little one
This was extremely hard for me to write. This is a story of a young boy I met a few years ago who at a very early age was already working. He remains to be a stranger, a nameless face that will always fuel my poetry because I consider him one of the few people who taught me so much. I had to struggle what perspective I had to write this on because I never really got the chance to know him. I still believe this poem does not do his story justice.
Apr 2015 · 452
Untitled
epictails Apr 2015
He who breathes in asphyxiating the breathless
has raised himself to the point of a blind Nirvana
He who drinks the tears of the grieving
has seen his rotting reflection in the gravest depths
He who bleeds the dying dry
has given life to an endless lifetimes of hatred
He who grows fat with the sweat of others
has smiled through bones breaking, dreams shattering
He who has seen this all and chose to do nothing
Will eat all the lies
Swallow them as truths
That slowly eats him up instead
Until everyone in this **** world
Eats and becomes eaten
after a week of inactivity
Mar 2015 · 261
Untitled
epictails Mar 2015
The waves are crashing at my feet
Impatient winds coldly brushing against my heated skin
Birds flying in unison towards my stagnant figure
Trees praying to the ground beneath them
The world is calling out to me
*I am finally home
Mar 2015 · 1.6k
Thank You, Art (10w)
epictails Mar 2015
I found the meaning I could not find—in art
Mar 2015 · 411
Untitled
epictails Mar 2015
I want to be seen
I want someone to rip my soul apart and mold it with theirs
I want to lead a revolution, one that changes for the better
I want to be seen by naked and pure eyes
Those that haven't been contaminated by worldly prejudice

I want to be known for what my entire life has set me into
For what the universe has always led me to be
And for what I believe is the reason why
I am curled up in bed at 2 am in the morning
Hoping that someone can bare me open
Begging for the acceptance of  the chaos
That has lived and survived in my deepest oceans
And be fathomed by strangers who
Could look at me as I am
epictails Mar 2015
I have been bruised
I have dropped six thousand feet after a euphoric high
I have been defeated in reaching an imaginary sky

But the ground to which I fall on
Has become the strength to which I stand on
The pillar to where I pick myself up after a laborious fight
The friend which tells me that in order
To gain infinities, I must win the
Battles of small beginnings
rough day. And even rougher days to come. My inspirations are nowhere to be found like before and the coming weeks are filled with anxiety. I tell this to myself that has been doubting a lot of things lately
Mar 2015 · 292
Untitled
epictails Mar 2015
We are all a little fragile
you and me

*but that's just being human
Mar 2015 · 976
Gold
epictails Mar 2015
A wise oracle once said,
"Men shall become slaves
to the mocking light
of a yellow stone
They shall wage
wars over it
They shall go mad
with fanaticism
They shall blind themselves with
its emptiness and
care for it as their valuable catastrophe

It will ******* weak hearts
It will trick the righteous in a dark,bottomless pit
with no way out for anyone

...

In the end that magnificent,
sparkling stone
will bring out the hungry beasts
in all of us
and polish them
taint them cunningly
with its infinitely depthless beauty"
All that glitters is not gold.
The inspiration from this one came from my Economics professor who said gold had no practical value. And that made me think how something so worthless can actually cause so many problems. Oh what a big allegory for greed.
epictails Mar 2015
She was found
His fingers traced the topography of her body
Up and down, in and out of the cave and mountain
A healthy rain forest laid on the map
Mother Gaia breathes out a moan,
Her gem gripping in anticipation

How he found her,
Through a looking glass, he found her body
Dead and alive, he didn't care
She was as pale as the moonlight
Her eyes were bloodshot
But he groaned still in pleasure and pain
The rivers changed color, from blue to red
Blood and stench of human flesh
Were nothing compared to the carcass of Gaia's wrath
Death and passion in the air
He worshipped her more fervently
Like she was as fleeting as time
Her body motionless, his life gave vigor to her
A beautiful statue, still revolving
A graceful apparition turned to flesh
Pearls of life breathed into her skin
Life came out, they knew him as god
First ever collab with a friend who's also into poetry and writing weird stuff like myself hahaha
Mar 2015 · 714
I Had A Dream
epictails Mar 2015
I had a dream last night
and saw a little girl
who looked so much like me
she smiled oh so eagerly
her eyes glistening with joy
her ears red from the cold that was that world
her small hands anxious for my warmth

My heart broke in nostalgia
as I watched the life
in her face
the unbridled naivete
the peace that was her air
And tears flooded my eyes
as I met someone I used to know
a long time ago

How she became a stranger
*How I've become a stranger
Mar 2015 · 663
What It Means to Write
epictails Mar 2015
Write not for the grandeur that is only a fading mirage
Write not for the crowd that licks only two-faced intentions
Write not for the machines that long for manufactured deceits
Write not for a gathering of hypocrites who bite back their own minds
Write not for the faithless who douse passions with their thick-skinned cynicism
Write as you write, pin those words down into reality
And never abandon belief that it is a cosmic unity
Deep within us

Write for the truth
And truth shall reveal itself
In your behalf,
In your tongue,
In your sense,
In your hands
The power of your words
Shall then write itself in the minds
Of
  *everybody
Thoughts at 3 am in the morning!Haha I love writing so much it's almost as if there is a gap in me that I must fill whenever I do not get to write. This is for everyone who loves writing no matter what.
Mar 2015 · 443
Untitled
epictails Mar 2015
Sometimes you don't give up for yourself
But for the people who never gave up on you
Mar 2015 · 470
Untitled
epictails Mar 2015
As I lie in the refuge of my bed
I wondered
**Where do broken hearts escape?
Where do tired souls go?
Mar 2015 · 671
The World has No Constants
epictails Mar 2015
One sees the world
in a straight line
but it is in fact round
and round
with curves
and turns
and it is wide
and expansive
and encompassing

Though someday he'll hit
a dead end
and fall  to a complete ruin
with his
distorted eyes
For the hypocrites who only see one side of a story
Mar 2015 · 783
Odessa (a song)
epictails Mar 2015
You smell of teardrops
And a little bit of rain
But it doesn't make me less lonely
Doesn't make the night less carefree

Incense me with your words
Trap me in your senses
Oh Odessa,
why must you be so lovely?

Odessa,
Come to me as you are
Turn on my fire
Linger in my desire
My heart is your home
Together we can be alone
Our love was so splendid
how swiftly it all ended

I see your deep eyes
But your heart is grave
Our lives are no longer touching
I can hear my glass dreams breaking

Wish me well in your delight
As I am torn by my plight
Oh Odessa,
won't you fix me?

Odessa,
Come to me as you are
Turn on my fire
Linger in my desire
My heart is your home
Together we can be alone
Our love was so splendid
how swiftly it all ended
Hi guys!Hahaha this is my first attempt at making a song. It's about a girl named Odessa who somehow made a way into my mind. She might be this indie musician who makes really dope songs. Anyway, tell me what you think! :)
Mar 2015 · 958
I Know Love
epictails Mar 2015
I know love by how the tears
glistened in my mother's face
as I came home crying one day

I know love by how a passing
stranger changed a fellow stranger's
life with just one look of sympathy

I know love by how a beggar feeds others
before feeding himself despite his
insides telling him to live for himself

I know love by how a young girl
overcame the mean kids in school
with her kind words knowing she did not
deserve it all

I know love by how my best friend  
desperately stopped my hand
from pulling the trigger
gun, pressed coldly to my head

I know love by how you
whisper sweet melodies
in my ears
as I write
this poem for people
to see love everywhere
This is coming from a girl who was often called emotionless/cold hearted several times in her life
Mar 2015 · 611
Untitled
epictails Mar 2015
Everyone is a work of art
and at some point of our lives
we want to become a masterpiece
Mar 2015 · 500
Untitled
epictails Mar 2015
I will look at fear
in the eyes today
and defeat it with Your power
Mar 2015 · 1.3k
Untitled
epictails Mar 2015
That part of you, you so detest,
is someone else's beautiful.
Mar 2015 · 864
A Bold Quest for Meaning
epictails Mar 2015
He was flying
midair like a bird on its
first glide
his wings about
to break
from the current that wanted
to stop him
a sweet sensation in his mouth
about to roll him over,
freedom enslaving his body
Alas!
He went back to the earth
to the ground
to reality so atrocious
only this time with a heartbreaking crash
and crash and crash
and blood and bones separating
soft flesh pulped
muffled voices, shocked riffs hanging
like his vision
his life, his story!


*Oh but that was to be the end of him...

the  death of a bold quest for meaning
Mar 2015 · 2.0k
Spider Girl
epictails Mar 2015
She was a spider
who spun and spun
webs of lies
which grew bigger and bigger
until all her fine spider legs
got entangled
she could breathe no more
and her web became her world
until she weaved her own undoing
strangled by the threads of untruths
This is for a friend I truly care about who got addicted to lying she doesn't even know who she is anymore.
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