When the clouds come
I cast them away
I tear them apart,
Dismantling grey

I am left with the blue
Entranced by its hue, but
Its vastness consumes
And I, lost without aim

So empty pages I thumb
Clear eyes achingly numb
Skin desperate to soak in
The sweet mist of pain
From where the clouds came
Oh, when the clouds come

Some days,
The clouds will refuse to part
But you mustn't forget
That the sun is behind them.

I tripped down a lane of memories
Walked uneven sidewalks
Once lined with trees
Now barren,
Thanks to some "bug disease"
At least not every neighbor is dead

Knees hugged cement
Recalling pastel chalk sketches
Delicate fingers traced
Rugged dips and edges,
My name
Engraved in that one spot where
I failed to learn to rollerblade
At least part of me will live on here

At least until someday

Every day
For the last three years
I wake up
And I hate myself

Maybe it’s been five years
Maybe eight
Surely I’ve lost count

Rare are the mornings
My aching muscles breathe a sigh
The sun drips through the window
Drenching me in warmth and life

Such euphoria is fleeting
It comes and goes
In two-week intervals
And I’m forced to watch it fly
To others’ faces
Where it rests much longer

There must be a balance
Dangling in the ether
Desperately waiting
To be discovered

But when dawn breaks
And my hand searches the sheets
It is hate that I find
Once more

I promise not to ask
How drunk you were
When you told me you missed me
If you promise not to ask
About the crimson river
In your kitchen.

The days,
All the days,
Even those
Inlaid with light,
Shutter closed,
As days do,
With harsh fray
Of night

I've waited countless nights
For the sun to rise
And finally found the light
When I searched in your eyes.

Your love shone so bright
It sent my soul awry
And though day turns to night
I've never felt so alive.

Sweet, sweet boy
You must know love
To be so good
But goodness rests in your hands 
And its nemesis 
In your eyes
Pleading to me
To get down on my knees
And beg for your time
To kiss each finger
As it grazes mine
Trailing down my neck
Shivers down my spine
Pour your soul through my lips
Wring your saccharine 
From my hair
With your fist
Sweet, sweet boy

I've probably taken 30 showers
But your scent won't wash away
And the mistakes I've made
Still rest on my shoulders
Pulling my head
Under the water

Dirt caked crust
Gives way
To layers of mantle
Above afflicted fireplace
Bearing picture frames
Bitter memories
Pride, then regret
Memento mori

I will not die here
Two tiers from hell
I feel it burning
In my core
Patiently waiting
To take me in pity
As I wish it had done
Before

I'm fully aware
Of the sadness in your kiss,
But the softness of your lips
Makes it easy to bear.

And yes, I am conscious
That your kind hands are calloused,
But I will always hold them,
I will always be there.

I will dance
And I will spin
Until the room blurs
And the lightless gaps
Between swaying bodies
Absorb my ache
And longing

I will twist
And I will wring
Dizzily releasing
Whatever still clings
To my depleting soul
And replace it with champagne

And I will dance

I do not shield myself
Between the mortar
Of feeble walls.
Instead, I’ve built mountains
With summits surpassing
Thunderous clouds, erupting,
Brimming valleys and moats
Lava-laden, I control
Fiery dragons
The size of islands
Welding forest trees,
Armor adamantine. I have
Trained wind to whip
And freeze at the flick
Of a tongue.
And with each false step taken,
A crater awakens
Parting the earth
In sacred places. Revealing  
Razor-edged abyss —
A merciless ether,
Crusader’s monolith.
In the end, it is I
Who must venture
And slay, navigating the terrain
Of my tortured dismay
Reclaiming my power
And rightful throne.
Behold, vast kingdom:
The monarch is home.

I know what love is
I don't want it.

I know what it's like
To be caressed by the lips
That exhale sweet lies.

I know what it's like
To hold the hand of the man
That always lets go.

I know what it's like
To drift asleep in his arms
Only to wake up alone.

I know what love is
I know what it should be
I know how it treats me
I don't want it.

We find fault in each other
Like we're looking for something,
Anything,
To pull us from these rapids
But the water moves so quickly
And the current keeps changing direction
And I don't know which way to kick my aching legs.
You have "don't tread on me" tattooed on your tongue
And the ink seeps through my veins
As I disobey the unwritten laws
That your callous soul has enforced.
And I ignore the sharp curves
And the deafening crashes of the waves
Because maybe my foot will get caught on a rock
Or maybe I'll finally reach the shore.
But I know that if I did
I'd dive straight back in.

Foolish, are we, to believe
That even the brightest sun
Could possibly intimidate
The ubiquitous darkness
That clings to our hearts

This, the abyss
No one warned me about
Where imminent fevers
Cannot be sweat out
And sanity’s good side
Turns one cheek too late
In centripetal orbit
Eluding escape

The faux heart on your sleeve
Goes incredibly well
With your arrogant grin
And hands full of hubris.

I find it distasteful
That you spit your highbrow
From a tongue drenched in chagrin
And lips lacking complacence.

I tried to escape you
But your scent lingers on my skin
And makes me hate
All the things I once loved,
Because they're merely fireflies
In your moonlit sky
And I waste amongst the stars
Waiting for you to come back around.

You should’ve spoken up
When you talked down to me
Instead you split my soul
Spitting endless inbetweens
And now the spool spins heavy,
Wiry untouched runaway dreams
Where the railcar always passes
Just a moment out of reach