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She had the poison in her veins
I was trying to **** it out
vampire doctor
trying to tough it out
radio blunt in my mouth
receiving the truth of the devil
thought I was a running man
till I bottomed out on the level
where accidents happen
reality clappin'
praising my downfall
she's got the poison in her soul
and I'm the cobra of the year...

Strange how rain falls
like time passes
ones and zeros
stained glass of our past
rosier than we remember
darker than September
wish I could go back
wish memory were dead
marching on like ants on a hill
my will, and it's not steel
my passion for tragedy
has a fixation on old mills
spinning in circles
I'm caught in the drain
funnel of mayhem
funnel of *******
high on life, we chase the goals of the dope game
higher and higher
expecting our lives will all change
I question the Lord
more than I question myself
That's why I'm lost
cause you can't question the Law's land
purpose is powerful
peace is potent
patience is placid
power is purposeful
you can run around and question the question the question the question
but have the integrity to answer and you're adorned with blessings
high towers fall in the storms of change
tranquility is denial of the form of truth

I taste it
the elixir of the problem of war
power is an addiction
addiction is a cage
to be free, we require power
to break addiction's vice grip
so you see the conundrum
a paradoxical illusion
it is placing our faith in the infinite that we grow
loose the bonds of human decay and sow what God sows
my belief is in the wisdom of man to choose divinity
those who choose death
are the eternal
wicked
enemy
wasting the fortunes
that we will harvest in the times to come
when humanity is free
to love
and love as one.
A bit of stream of consciousness here, but I enjoyed it.
Might record it for TikTok, but I need a good backing track.

Enjoy!

DEW
Jodie-Elaine Jun 2020
If I had to say something now, in this moment of a great nonsensical sense of loss it would be that I too, can’t stop falling in love but am stuck in the 1950s, I can’t carry a tune or stand in line so there is very little hope, they said hope was the last thing in the jar, and when the lid slammed shut, we were saved from it all. That earth angel knew what she was doing, wholly like a lock of blonde hair from Doris Day, when she set the paper moon on fire, and I guess Bobby knew it too, when he dunked it underwater, hoping to send it somewhere flameless and soggy, beyond the sea. I cried into the moon, tripping over my slippers and I put my head on the bookcases’ shoulder, Paul Anka and Chubby Checker themselves couldn’t quench the tears, I was twisted you see, and I didn’t think it could be the same again. Time to put the cardboard cut-out down, the picket signs chopped to fences and I dragged my toes, I fell in love with the plastic walls, the table I built and a thick, encompassing sense of home, like a teenager in love, I don’t know why they did it but the high crooning voice of Lymon helped me unstick from the walls. Some spirit of left creativity, me and my bereftment belong together, tied when Ritchie Valens dropped us down behind the chest of drawers, I yelled to grab a hand, but it fell quietly onto the curtain pole, impaling itself. Nathaniel entered the room, came looking but answered the ringing with a “Hey, Mama” and left. I couldn’t save my own last dance, I didn’t know that I was it, it drifted and said it would meet me someplace. It said it would meet me when the air clears, it’s getting late and tonight I look something dear and washed up. I miss you so dearly, send me. I hadn’t known that that would be it, this impressive but horrific amalgamation, and I’ve been here for too long.
The screen is dark and blank, I can’t see anything past it here.
Here in this empty space where it all was.
Stream-of-consciousness poetry heavily inspired by music
Jodie-Elaine Jun 2020
Beach tunes happy-go-lucky spins around the living room the way you catch me when I launch myself at the kitchen tiles, I just wanted to catch something right like a childhood home and things won’t stop lobbing themselves at the walls like sad, falling existential poets eye rolls bad yarn fingerprints track loosely around this domestic space come in for a slow dance, I’ll tie my hair up and we’ll use the lawnmower as a kitchen table chasing our dinner down the street microwaved bats keep coming through the windows Happy Halloween, my love. Slow lips touch themselves together tiredly at the end of the words fall off the face sliding slowly drum beats pleasantly thoughts die here in this greeting card poster perfection ohh, how nice it would be to have a shootout in a 50’s diner with baguettes the same tune it lollops around the room a little glamorously nothing has ever been this perfectly balanced before I fall off my chair it knows something we don’t.
Jodie-Elaine Jun 2020
Big fluffy dressing gowns keep misbehaving and stuffing themselves into un-rounded empty spaces and the spaces are shrinking so excuse me BUT I’M A LITTLE STUCK OVER HERE like the nightmare about losing teeth, about being too small and driving a big van, a massive van down a long hill, it gets steeper and THERE’S NO BRAKES. MAYBE IT’S THE MARRIAGE OF TWO PERFECT ENTITIES, ME AND THE DRESSING GOWNS, that is. But I’d expected it to pan out a little differently than end in the middle of a Bridget Jones film or some other badly frequented metaphor glued together with lollipop sticks. Who are these people who don’t find themselves biting into deep pure, gross, clogged nothing when they have an empty wall in front of them? I bet THEY DANCE FABULOUSLY with toasters.
Leah Carr Sep 2021
I can't see
I can't think
I can't even
breathe
Feeling nothing but the neverending
momentum, of
falling
   falling
      falling
into the abyss
Everything I've ever known
is getting smaller by the second
Until it
Vanishes
Completely

Infuriating voices echo around me
"I know you don't like change"
It's far deeper than that
Change is loss
It's losing a part of yourself
you once took for granted
but not now
Now it's gone
You'd give anything to be back
in the warm and familiar
But you're not.
You're left
falling
   falling
      falling
through the cold and the dark
Never knowing
when you'll
Hit.
The ground
Leah Carr Aug 2021
Gut-wrenching screams hammer against my tender eardrums
Tearing through me
Pulling me apart
I cant distinguish between blood and tears
The screaming gets louder
And louder
And more agonising
Until I can focus on nothing but the pain
Somehow translated into sound
Who is this?
Why are her screams so fearful and piercing?
Who has hurt her so that she must express herself in this way?
But then I realise:
I am the one screaming.
Leah Carr Jul 2021
my heart is beating still
but why?
why does my body fight on?
I wish it would give in
like I did a long,
long time ago

i am breathing still
but how?
attempt after attempt
to stop that
has failed
to my disappointment

my heart is beating still
and as much as I hate it
there is just one thing
I must do
sit
and let my
heart
beat
imber Mar 2021
black of the night, tied so tight
think about it all the time, yeah right
yeah right, yeah right
this fullness livens and overflows me, I feel vacant sometimes
lacking color and substance, why must I be here at this precise time?
JT Jan 2021
"MY" MANIFESTO IS AS FLOWS FOLLOWS:
SHE GOES IN THE WIND IN THE EFFERVESCENCE
OF THE NIGHT AND IN GALLANT STRIDES IT
GOES THROUGH THE WIND OF THE CITIES OF
MECHANISMS AND MINDS OF THOSE WHO
SUFFER UNJUSTLY BY THE SIGHT OF THE
MODERN. HE BRINGS THE DOG THE WATER AND
HIS DANCE LIGHTS UP A THOUSAND SHIPS, FOR
HIS HEIGHT BRINGS THE DOG THE WATER OF
THE MACHINE, AND IN THERE AND THEREIN IS
THE ONE THEY CALL LIFE AND HIS COMRADES
OF SORT AND SHAPE AND COLOUR AND SIGHT
AND SOUND. THEY CELEBRATE ALL THAT IS
UNSIGHTLY AND UNGODLY ABOUT A GOD
THERE BE, FOR IT IS ONLY IN BLOOD A MAN
SHALL PAINT THE BRIGHTEST BLUES AND THE
BLUES OF A DEEPER BROWN OF A DEEPER RED
OF A DEEPER DEEP. HE BRINGS THE TIME OF
DEED AND "GO DEEP" SHE SAYS! "GO DEEP!"
Martin Narrod Dec 2020
Dearest Britni,

I was warmed by your thermal tub, the belly of your indiscretions and the way you held those mule-hearts
in plastic jars beneath the cupboard where your favorite cups and coins were kept.  The magic beat of your fingertips made my skin jump crazy out of my shirt and pants.  I wonder if the turnover has always been this way for you, meaning to say, when the trips always ended did you take back the second pillow into the other room, where your ivory curtains opened, and did you feel the need to lock the door to your bedroom.

The word, 'house guest' implies less visitation privileges than actually took place.  I believe it was more of an involved visit.  There were certainly visitation privileges but there was also visitation writ.  I had to keep my jeans clean.  There were no shoes allowed in the bed.  And extracurricular activities were kept to their time tables-- that is to stay that spontaneity occurred only when it fit into the time table.  I was never much for making you lunch in the morning.  It has always been difficult for me to think of the meals before they happened, though I knew what was in every drawer, every closet, every cabinet.  The insides and outs of a decade of dreams.

In short time I became mesmerized with the perfect patterns in your arms and on your legs.  I could crook my head in a way to look at the sunset from under your arm or stand on a chair to look down at the top of your head.  And then one day you told me I was weird.

This time I wanted to be fulfilled.  I did not want to miss a thing.  I made sure to slide my fingers in between your toes, I squeezed the bottoms of your feet with the bottoms of my feet.  There are many recitals, many performances, and even more personal encounters that cannot be recalled to mind, but I am sure they happened.  If I had the opportunity I would attempt to pick your nose again.  Something I did every chance I had though you abhorred it.  To lick the side of your face, the bottom of your chin, the interior of your armpit, the lengths of your legs, and the rims of your lips-- I lived our life to the fullest.

All interactions were encouraged.  We played in sunlight, in nightlight, during day showers, and ate by the seaside.  We traveled to four states, two lakes, and two oceans.  We drove in excess of 20,000 miles, received fifty-seven parking tickets, five speeding tickets, thirty-five thousand two hundred eighty four compliments, fifty-two salutations, fifteen, "you're an adorable couple," three hundred complimentary access, two free tickets to a museum exhibition, took over one hundred fifty flights between the two of us, and received your father's permission.  We slept in showers, swam in baths, and drank from swimming pools.  We shared the bathroom, the bed, and the kitchen sink.  I memorized how many times you rolled over when sleeping, and you told me what I talked about in my sleep.  I knew the five places you lived at and the four places you wanted to.  We danced in nightclubs, in bars, in schoolyards, in back seats and bedrooms, and ballrooms.  There were fifteen black tie events, one wedding, and over two hundred concerts.  I wrote over fifty thousand poems made over three hundred paintings, and took somewhere around twenty-eight thousand pictures.  I once took you to breakfast every morning for a week and dinner every night.  I bought you one hundred twenty six cups of coffee, fifty-two cocktails, and one Shirley Temple.  I only had to help you change clothes thrice, but I helped you undress over a thousand.  I always remembered to lift up you hair if I helped you put on a jacket, and never made you walk on the street side.

There were over 2,000 bands and artists I introduced you too.  You taught me about fashion, about photography, about being a good person.  We sang in the shower, sang in the car, whispered before falling asleep.  I sent you dozens of flowers and you watered them all.

In my favorite yellow chair I do not have any regrets or any wants.  I fulfilled a life time in two years.  I was an upstanding gentleman, always.  And then out of the blue you didn't want me to touch you anymore.  One time in an airport in DC we ran 48 terminals to see each other again.  You taught me not to be afraid of flying, that it's important to be myself.  And when it ended the first time I wrote you two letters a day for three months.

Tomorrow when I wake up I will make the bed, put the music on, smoke a cigarette, then take a shower.  Afterwards I will get dressed, grab my belongings and go get four shots of espresso like I have been doing every day for the past five years.  Everything will be the same.  At the end of the day, after work, after listening to a plethora of music, talking to a plethora of people, I will not talk to you.  After two years two years and 2,163 phone calls, I will not talk to you for two days in a row.  I will lay in my bed and count the mews, but I miss the weight on the mattress, the heat of your whole, the temperature of your voice, and the redolence of your perfume, but I will have no regrets when I rollover thrice, to the right, to the left, and to the right.
A letter written to a love of my life, written 10 months after lasting seeing one another, but still speaking by phone, the thoughts and imaginations were running rampant.
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