I do
From the first time
I laid my eyes on you
I didn't just found you, but I
found love.
A love
From you were true
I know, through ups and downs
You just love me, and I thank you
always.

As I left the Town,
I did saw you chasing me ―
But you're not happy.

You showed me your world —
You've got no clue, how happy
I'm with you always.

You were sleeping next to me -
Peacefully.
The quietness that surrounds the room,
is the most perfect moment.
The only sound that I could hear,
are sound of you breathing.
As I've stared with your angelic face,
There's no doubt that I'm honestly falling.
Falling more deeply into you.
Not just by how your lips moves by the way you talk,
Not just by how your hips sways by the way you walk,
Not just by how your perfect eyes - stared deeply to me.
Or not just by how ***** you smell.
I never imagined I could meet you.
You were just a dream -
That I couldn't predict when will it'll come true.
Until then, please stay.
Hold me and wrap your arms around me.

No.
I just want a,
coffee nor a cigarette.
And a bed to where I could stay all day,
and let myself dive into your arms.

I could use my day offs,
Just to spend more time with you, and only you.
Whose body was to be thank with.
I could stare at you,
whose, eyes are mixed with green and blue.

And kiss you,
and hug you,
and sleep with you.

But, all of this will remain as my beautiful nightmare,
For you, I was no longer a meaning.
And you just treated me as a game on truth or dare,
I'm inlove with you and I hated this feeling.


- 12102k15

Glad I was the one —
That caught your heart, soul and mind.
Love me until the end.

You asked me;
"What do you want for your birthday?"
I gazed into your eyes and told you -
"I don't want anything, I only need you."
But you turned your back and walked away,
You left me with no words to say.

You are going
to fall in love,
Again.
Because,
You think you're
Cold as ice
But,
You weren't.
You knew it
But you chose to lie.
You,
Chose to deny
Your feelings for
Someone.
A person who
Performs a somersault,
In your heart.

It has never been a good journey between us,
For those moment we shared never last.
To me you are the air that I breathe,
But to you, I was just a mere creep.

You were once my everything,
And just today, to you I felt nothing.
I felt in love with you,
With you, being so unique and true.

I want you to search for me,
Even if I get lost in the middle of the sea.
I want you to remind me,
Even if I forget about you and me.

I knew in time you'd forget me,
And in that time you'll set me free.
We need to end this story,
Because Love, we're not in a fairy tale.
Sad things happen,
You and I are just part of a forlorn ending.

Please
don't get lost in someone else.
Ask yourself once in a while,
"How are you doing?"

Drunk words
I don’t mind
Hug me
Kiss me hard
Push behind
Because
I wanna die.
These wounds?
Doesn’t heal.
You left
I’m drunk again
Over and over.
Erasing you
Everything.
Sober me up
Was everything
A nightmare?
Are you still here?
hold me,
One
Last
Time
Hug
Me
&
Will
Close
My
Eyes
and
You’re
Gone.

I was living my years in a lie.
Was in search for what’s the meaning of life.
Not until one day,
I woke up in awe of what inside.
I’ve had it all along.
I’ve been so distant and distracted of the thought.
Dying to chase the ‘high’,
Not realising anything.
I lost everything.
I lost,
ME.

Skin & soul,
You've built a wall.
Can't carry it all —
feeling small.

Waves are crashing,
Heart is crumbling.
We were once each other's everything,
Now, we're already sinking.

Seek us love —
Together above.
Don't go,
Let's start slow.

Today I felt different...
While I was decluttering my room and sorting my stuff (preparing my things to finally leave this apartment). Tears were flowing, again. It still pains me knowing you aren't there everyday. Knowing I can't talk to you about the random things that happened today. Knowing that you'll always support me when I told you that, " I don't feel well, I need to clean my room to clear my mind". Knowing that I  don't have you, period.
I found photographs of me, you, and us. We were happy in those tiny polariods we have. I found a lot of stuff that reminds me of you, yet I still can't let go even in those things we shared. I still want you near, hoping we'll still share this rainbow color we had. I still have those vivid memories of you, of our plans as a family together. I still want us to work, I still crave for your affirmation and attention. I still think of you a thousand times a day, I am missing you everyday. I still want you. Because I'll never found love like ours.
But, each day I have to face a difficult ending. I have to accept that we need to grow apart. I need to accept that you aren't going home to me anymore. I gotta holdback asking how are you today. I have to hold myself from coming to your place, hoping I'd see a glimpse of you even I'm outside looking like a total creep. I have to keep this random talks to myself. I have to be taster, every time I found a new recipe. I have to be me, without you anymore.

I pray someday you'll find what you need in this lifetime and if this letter crosses your path, let me know. Because I, we'll be waiting for you.

Until then, please do take care of yourself.
S

I can't be that person you want,
Those things that you want me to do, but I just can't.
You made me this person I am now,
I'm still into you, somehow
Again, you cast another spell,
And I have difficulty on how to dwell.

I hate to admit that I'm tired of being me,
I only write because you exist,
This feeling that I have, I can't resist,
For you my Love, will be free.

I know you will be free from me,
From the person I just can't be.
I'm not good enough for you,
I keep asking myself, what should I do?

I gambled and laid my cards
I know it wasn't enough
I know I have my ups and downs
But all I want is you.

You, who'll never be mine
You, who'll never see me
You, who'll never care for me
Still, my heart beats for you.

Staring into the sky
Thinking, does God listens to me?
Wishing, I was perfectly made to be with you.
Hoping, Someday you'll like me too.

I miss your smiles,
I miss how you curled up in my arms.
I miss how the sound of your laugh,
I miss how you are so tough.
I miss the way you comb your hair,
I miss the way your eyes stare.
I miss how you crack green jokes,
I miss how you scare those folks.
I miss your lips,
I miss your face,
I miss your touch,
I miss everything about you.
But I know, we both deserve better,
Those pain will heal,
And when that time arrives,
You and me are nothing but plain as nothing.

- 01082k16

I’m still
In search of
Lightness despite
This time.

I want to take off my body,
Like a used lingerie.
I don't want it anymore,
I feel too empty nor valuable.

I want to change who am I,
To begin anew.
For every damage that can't be undo,
For all those nights that I cried.

Too afraid to close my eyes,
Having angst that the memory of you will chase me.
I feel remorse for myself,
For letting you dig inside me,
For being too shabby for my self,
And for letting you ruin my life.

My life.
My life not yours.
From the time you had me,
You never once think of my life.
It was all about you, it was all about your desires.
It was all about your happiness, your thirst for mine.

Of what you did to me,
It will always haunt me.
The remains of you inside me,
Were a nightmare,
A nightmare that chases me,
A stranger who have no clue of who I am,
But still continue to plunge his desires on me.

I am writing this not just to seek for your sympathy,
I want you to understand.
How to be empty,
to be lost,
to be disgusted
and to be the topic of town,
and to be me.

-

shn 6:7-16

I did love you darling,
you were once  my everything.
But a sudden twist of faith,
You were no longer my Babe.


- 08042k15

I've had enough chasing you,
What else should I do?
Are we really into this?
The old you, that I missed.

I'm begging you to stay,
Even if it's just for a day.
I just want to spend more time,
Because, this will be the last time that you're mine.

Some things have changed,
Was it me or was it you?
Was it all about the things I can't undo?
Or was it me who stopped chasing you?


-12072k15

You
Are
Important
To
YOU.

No words can express,
      I need you, I yearn for you,
            I did all my best.


- 05152k15