I did love you darling,
you were once  my everything.
But a sudden twist of faith,
You were no longer my Babe.


- 08042k15

I've had enough chasing you,
What else should I do?
Are we really into this?
The old you, that I missed.

I'm begging you to stay,
Even if it's just for a day.
I just want to spend more time,
Because, this will be the last time that you're mine.

Some things have changed,
Was it me or was it you?
Was it all about the things I can't undo?
Or was it me who stopped chasing you?


-12072k15

You
Are
Important
To
YOU.

No words can express,
      I need you, I yearn for you,
            I did all my best.


- 05152k15

Dear You,
Yes you
the one who broke me;
into pieces,
Tiny pieces.

Expecting someone
like you
in front of my door.
Without you knocking
Without you asking
Without me knowing
that was the last time.
The very last time,
that I would see you,
that I would talk to you,
that I would laugh with you.

Everything was over
looking through the memories;
Sad,
sad memories of you.

Till we met,
not as lovers
but as strangers.

​Best of luck
That's what you've said.
Pushing me away,
You just don't want me to stay.
Am I not good for you?
Or I just got no such luck.
Is it something?
Or someone's filling your nothingness.
Why?
Why push me away?
Is my love not enough?
Or you're having no fun at all.
Anyhow, best of luck.
May the odds be in your favor.
You may find your real happiness,
Never mind the pain it'll bring me.
You need to be happy.
So, I'm letting you go.

What I saw was true,
I was bound to love you,
-- Until I die dear.

- 05152k15

Tell me where should I start?
Tell me how should I do my part?
Cuz' I wanna free my heart,
And undo this and restart.

All those things,
all the misunderstandings,
all the happy beginnings,
and even all the saddest endings.

I just want to be with you,
Just tell what should I do.
I want more of you,
And that's how I love you.


- 12102k15

Stop . . .
I want my heart to stop  beating,
To stop screaming your name,
To stop craving,
To stop us, that was just a game.
Stop . . .
You're not even sorry,
An apology that I was waiting,
Hell, It won't be coming eh?
**** pride you got.
Stop . . .
Stop messing with me,
Making me fool and please set me free.
Stop making me believe that you love me,
Stop creating us, that was full of misery.
Stop . . .
Yeah, we should stop.
We deserve much more better than this,
We know, our love is not that strong,
We did everything, but what went wrong?
Stop . . .
Loving me,
I know you regret everything,
I know you were just lying,
From the very beginning,
Until we meet our ending.
Stop . . .
Saying goodbyes,
I don't even know why?
Are you doing it just to hurt me?
You did great because it pains me.

- 01082k16

Trees are made of this,
Who I am to disappear,
- I'll stay over here.

- 02172k14

I still want US,
But I can't be, and we can't be,
So I'm setting both of us free,
Free from this relationship that won't last.

It pains me,
To see you're free,
But that's how I love you,
And it's true.

I hope one day,
You can still laugh and be okay.
Let's bury together this agony,
Time heals and we'll be ready.

Nothing compares to you
You love me so true
Through ups and downs
You never fail me,
You never fail me to;
Make me smile
To dry up my soaking eyes
To care much
To love me.

To love me,
Beyond what I asked for.
You love me dearly
A never ending affection towards me
A thirst for my heart and soul.

You love me
Not just by my puffy cheeks
Not just by how I hold a pen
Not just by how I move.

You love me sincerely
Because I don't need to pretend to be someone else
Because I am being me
Because you just love me.

Behind
my
eyes
were a
disguise,
a monster
that's
unwise.

I had to lie,
as you were asking
about these tears.
I had to hide the truth,
and swam in my own thoughts.
I had to breathe alone now,
as you left me in the darkness.
I had to lose you,
on the process of finding me.
I had to build my walls too,
because no one really gets under.

Dearest Parents,

I don’t even know where to begin, because there’s so much sitting in my heart. Some of it heavy, some of it aching and all of it quietly waiting to be heard.

I miss you both.
I miss home.
I miss the feeling of safety I used to associate with your presence. Even when things were hard, I believed, deep down, that love was somewhere in the room.

But now… I feel banished. Like I was pushed out from the one place I thought would always take me in. I don’t know if it was something I did, or didn’t do, or simply who I am. But the silence, the distance, it’s louder than any words you could’ve spoken.

I’ve been trying to be strong. To hold myself up without the foundation I used to rely on. To believe I still matter, even when I feel forgotten. It hurts. It hurts in the kind of way that lingers, that wakes me up at night, that makes me question my worth.

Still, somewhere in me, there’s a small flicker of love that hasn’t gone out. A part of me that wishes you could see me. Not as a disappointment, not as someone to cast out, but just as your child. I’m not perfect, but I’ve always carried love for you. I still do.

Maybe you’ll never read this. Maybe nothing will change. But I needed to say it, for me. I needed to let these words out of the cage they’ve been in.

With love and sadness,
Me

It's just You and Me -
T'was a very good evening.
'til, you've unloved me.

Your voice is unique,
I miss your high and low tones,
That hits through my bones.

- 09232k15

Remembering how beautiful that moment it was back then. While you seemed enthusiastic about your stories. Over and over, I’m falling for you. Staring at your eyes, while you kept on sharing your stories. Hearing your laugh while talking? God, I couldn’t ask for more. And then, the perfect moment and timing happened.

When I saw the lights reflecting in your hazelnut eyes — my heart skipped its beat. How lucky I am to see a perfect creation. You amazed me in every simple ways you do. You, doing nothing. And I know it's weird, super weird.

Then, I became anxious on how I should act like nothing happened. But, I failed on it. Running out of words to say. It was the perfect time for me to say how much you mean to me, scratch that, on how much I am falling in love with you. But I choked with the thought of me expressing myself, because I don’t wanna be rejected. Though I know for sure this feeling ain’t mutual.

I think it's better that I didn't say those words. Because I don't wanna trap you from this messy human I am. I didn't regret meeting you figuratively at the corner of the street. If I could just repeat it, over and over I would find ways for you to notice my nothingness. For I will fall in love, again.

And, here I am. I totally don't know what to say. Or maybe I just couldn't accept the fact that me, being so coward leads me to this ******* moment. Where I’m caught between, wanting you in my life or wanting to forget the memories you’ve shared with me though I couldn’t deny the fact that it hurts me and pains me to think of it. But I guess dear, I’ll always be looking from afar. Thinking every possible ways about the thought of us. Yes, a cliche indeed. But, I’m a human being and in love?

This memory of you may not lead to where it should be. But I want you someday, or in other parallel worlds we might have — you’ll be able to read some parts of this, and a smile coming from your lips would suffice all of this.

I guess, us wasn’t really a love story nor a happy ending. Until then, I’ll meet you somewhere over a coffee and a smoke, then will have a chitchat about how dramatic I was and was head over heels of you.

I will always love you, romantically. And you do love me platonically dear. Good byes are overrated so good night and I’ll sleep this pain off tight.