I write inbetween
my hushful & hasty life.
I carry no baggage
but to pour out by compiling all of my heart.

I eat, sleep, laugh, cry, work, dream
which goes on till its brim.
But one thing which makes me whole
is my write,.
It brings me joy out of pain
it shakes me up while in strain
it soothes me altogether
& comforts me without any fail.

Deep in slumber
these days
cannot open my eyes
dreaming sometimes
of what I do not recall
But slumber heals me
from within
I do not forget when awake
but helps me to smile again
with a new sign of freshness.

The possibility of the unknown
Is like a fruit yet to be tasted
either sweet or sour
unknown it will be
Until & unless dared to be tasted
for knowing its richness
for a better insight
of the soul!

– 28/06/2017

I used to wait
longing for someone
to love me all over again!
Longing is hurtful
if no one ever
shows up at all!

But....

Now I wait for myself
to wrap up my each day's task
and be me, just me
whom I would caress
with some love
and finding my love
in everything I do,
I write, read & paint each day
& that's where I feel
This is what I was meant to be!

Everything I eat or everything I do,
It reminds me of you.
The moment I get that terrible feeling of losing you
I get back to you.
Just two lines from you, upturned me completely,
not knowing how to get through.
My love, I would never dare to erase you.
And how I can I ever be without you as I am immersed in the memories of you.
I don't know whether its you or the tender memories you have left behind you.
How I wish I could reach you just for once and would have showered the love which I had for you.
You once said - Go with the flow
But how on Earth would I ever keep flowing without you.
I know I'm a dark wild soul which can't love the way you want.
But believe me I have loved you with all my heart.

Today is the day when i stopped waiting for you.
I stopped glancing at different devices that you will let me in one more time.
I stopped every other illusions of you turning back into reality.
But that doesn't hinder me to love you back.
I cannot see or feel your presence
But you know what?
I have a power to imagine
Imagining that I'm loved.
No more I desolate myself to find me alone
I have you within me.
Call me crazy but I bet I'm more loved than you are in reality!

A sweet tender moment of jealousy
should I take it with a pinch of salt or honey?
May it be honey mixed with jealousy
but ironically, it's funny
how jealousy is
tasting more like sweet
than bitter
completely opposite
to its nature
a little bit of jealousy
with a lot more understanding of
love <3

Imperfectly perfect
Accept me as I am
Or leave as early as
Time flies unable to be tame
Be a part of me
Stay & not leave!

Highlighting to my past
Exactly a year back
From now...
My break up took place
with the most beloved
person of my life.

A year later
In quiet moments
Revisiting & reviving
visualising it
To be tormenting more
Unable to adjust
One's emotional state
of being!

But now I can see clearly,
How I missed all the
red warning flags!

A burning fire melted me
To mould me fiercely
I screamed silently
With each passing day & night
I ran back to and fro
Not knowing where to go!

A lesson for life
He taught me to take a different route
Walk the path all by yourself
And to go with the flow
No matter how slow.

And this is how,
I became *me
A me, who
flew back every
other new way,
To find him in nature
& Through solving
life's struggles
With each passing day.

You - floating
Me - drowning!!

You - floating..
keep floating
Me - out of it..

My lips, parched as the thirsty desert
lingering upon for a submerged bite!

Only to be seen,
are thunders & lightening
awaiting for a tiny drop of rain
amidst the dark blue sky following!

Happy Friendship's Day
To all my poetry friends
Wishing all of you to be
Healthy, Happy and safe.
To write & share
Your joys
Sorrows
And more
than
anything
Your precious
Time to be with.

Thank you all for
your precious time.

What to do when nobody around
To love you all the time
Or to give strength from behind?

What to do when the roads are
long enough at night,
And darkness all around
And nobody to hold hands by the side?

What to do when
Too much work at office
And no reason to come back home
No one awaiting to see you
after a day long.

What to do when nightmares
soaks you every night
Although weary body & mind
And no reason to be awake at night?

What to do when the friends
are nowhere around
To comfort you when needed the most
And the family is so far off.

Nothing to do
Rather drift apart
Divert from everything known
Seek nothing anymore
Only thing needed is
to rest and endure.

You might fall
But get up to crawl
Don't stay down too long
For you have a poetry or a song
To inspire the ups and downs
Of life of a weary soul.

That fulfilling joy of
almost reaching
that very peak
which I dreamt of
long back
so close I am
but what see in reality
is
a sudden unexpected
avalanche
once again!!

Life is bizarre
from zero we start,
reach 100 sometimes
but again fall
from 100 to zero again
and again..

stay there or start again??

obviously we have no other choice
than to start again...
and that's how life goes on..
with the cycle of again
and again..

We escaped in each other
Day in and day out
For weeks, months and year
Laughter full of suprises
Cracking of jokes
Never ending night walks
And long drives accompanying
The moonlight beans
We escaped in each other
So as to forget our past
To forget all the guilt
To forget all the baggage
Which we carry otherwise!

One fine day reality struck
And we fell off
Nowhere to escape
No commitments at all
No where to escape
No more returning back
No more crossing each other's path

No more
We cooled off
Now completely off!
No more laughter
No more jokes
No more walks
Only lonely paths
To explore within ourselves
And not each other!

You say I'm missing
Yes, you are right
I'm missing from the
corner of my heart
as a soulless being
shallow
from the deep cut
within.
Into this dark lost world
wandering here and there
in search of
a puzzling piece
which
got lost long back
and other pieces unmet
destined to never ever meet!

But

I seek that piece
in the very first ray of the Sun
I meet in the empty roads
as dark as my soul
I speak every day
with every falling drop of rainfall
until the Thunderbird mocks at me
to find I have nothing of that
piece*

but still I seek...

.
.
.
Happiness is....?
Does it really matter that much?

To be in life and to live life,
laugh out loud with people around.

Not necessarily to love them
or possess them,
Just to be in the moment and enjoy laughing moments
With them...
Is what life demands to be.

To be and just be
being alone in own space
of mind and heart.
To be able to love oneself
when no one is around.
To wipe out one's own tears
When you see only
your own hand at night
And to finally be able to smile
After an hard cry.
And to stand for oneself,

**...Is indeed real happiness!

A destroyer, fell in love
With all it's heart
It loved everything around
But it forgot
That love destroys her
More than it destroys others!

How I was before
staring at things
and getting tensed at everything around.
Fearing constantly without knowing anything.
To step out of comfort zone
I cried and cried but to resists!
Afraid to lose anything,
longing everything to be forever mine!

Then came this breakthrough!
I broke apart...
going through lows
in the midst of nowhere else
No stares, no glares.
Nothing at all and I suddenly realized
I was out of that all.
I suddenly saw a dandelion flying away..
away from everything, knowing not alive or dead
but moving on with the wind
no persistence or resistance...
Just to free flow not caring at all.
That's how I found out myself all over again.
I fear but not too often, I stare into spaces
to find more love in life.
I add up to the beauty by smiling wide apart.
I enjoy the fears now,
more often it tries to get me down
but challenging more, to be more.
Enjoying my journey and not worry about the path..
And I'm glad I am more of me now
rather than what I was couple of years before.

Loneliness & Imagination
two friends of mine
whom I keep by my side.

Loneliness was a bit sad
getting bored occasionally
but imagination was happily high
carrying a garland full of lines.

Both are unique,
and without two of them
I am nothing.

I choose to hang out with them
Gave them food of emotions
with sweetness of my closeness
Kissed & hugged them tight
for making me artistically alive! <3

I feel lonely inside
A void which nobody could fill
And I try my best to fill it
With something or the other.

Days, months, years passing by
Me being me,
trying new things,
Old things
No thing!

I observe people
Who are lonely too
What do they do
To keep going?
Was a huge questions
for me always.

Books, activities, movies
They go through
They start learning
To be with themselves happily
A book of charm.

A line I had to fill up
Today I am feeling...

Excited about life
If loneliness are lemons
I will make lemonade
Out of it
Every other day :)

What to do when something
very important gets deleted?
To be more precise -
A folder of movies
got permanently deleted!!
that too by mistake..

Now what.....

Nothing...I ironically laugh at my mistake
and I know I can choose differently now
I can choose a new set of collections
which will be different from
what I always choose...

It's Valentine's week
And love is marching it's drill
Everywhere around
Love is in the air
Yes, I can see
But to feel-
I feel little less
Why there's no self love day?
To celebrate the love for oneself
That too so purely
Before giving a bite of ones love
For share!

Little that I know
that I was lost when
I could find no one around
To seek within me took lot of time
And the song that I listened too,
Over and over again
I came to know that
the singer had died.
It was shocking to me
When it came to light!

The tunnel seemed
unexpectedly too long
Expected to be patiently impatient
For the things I have never known.

Now I stand still
Let me know
Let me take the lead
And fear no more
Let me be me
To see how it goes
No more hestisation
Let me fall into the unknown ocean
And reveal it into splishes
and splashes
And enjoy the waves
As it goes!

I've been in sickness
For over a week now
Desolated from all -
Near and dear ones
To count upon.
Nobody to hold me
before I fall!

But the moment
I reached home
A spark of hope
rekindled from within.
An unspoken feeling
Spoken out loud -
Don't worry
You will be fine
You are at home.

Eat sleep read
And fly to your
Fictional destiny.

In the midst of everything
Don't forget to enjoy the journey
Full of emotional escasty.
Love,
pain,
sadness,
Joy,
full of surprises
and
.
.
.
.
.
finally
A comfort from within,
a healing touch
From someone known
A book that I hold!

Not everything can be captured through lenses,
not every beauty can been seen through the eyes
which we behold
Like, Moon beaming overhead,
peeping through the trees
but not a single snap can be captured to feel that beauty..
Those beautiful moments walking with you
down the roads empty and quiet yet uncaptured
but our laughter submerged through the stillness...
I captured nothing..but kept all our memories
safely into the locked up into my heart..
I wish nothing..no future,
but my friend Thank you for being there for me.
I'm enjoying & living the present moment with you
one day at a time.
And I believe, I am not wasting my time with you
rather I'm busy creating cherishing memories with you..

Heard a story about a guy.
A guy who goes to college with plain looks
& tucked in shirt every time.
people laughing at him
day in & day out
to be the odd one out.

Someone went and asked-
Dude, why don't you change your clothes for a while?
They all laugh at you for that.

The guy remarked in a polite way-
why should I change for them
when they will no longer exist in my life after a while?

I go places
where there are
civilised people all around
forgetting to utilize
their heart & mind
in the race of
reckless life!

There are splashes of brush strokes
Amidst the clouds in the sky
envisioned as heavenly glory.
Painted in numerous colorful reunion
with blue, orange and crimson
the clouds and the ray of the sun
Dancing without any reason!

You are inside that shut doors,
And I am waiting for you to come out.
You just slammed the doors just like everybody else.
Is being so foolish a crime.
I know I'm not that clever
but please for God sake don't leave apart.
I wish I could be so clever that nobody left me ever.
But the hard truth lies beneath the walls
finding everybody better.
Don't leave people,
I can't bear the lonely truth from far!

A cup of Tea
and a kettle of stress
Compliments each other
One one is hotter
Than the other.

Both mingle with us
Stress comes first,
Accompanying  with a
nice cup of tea
Makes us feel better
Than ever!

Through the speedy ride
Onto the roads
The wind chills gushes
Through my hairs
Bringing out the tender smile
From within.

I don't seek validation now
I do things for myself.
I don't care whether they like me or not
Not seeing whether I look beautiful in their eyes anymore.
After 26 long years, I have started to see myself as I am.
I don't care I look good or bad.
I care how my loved ones are,
I care how I look upon myself
Not caring the blue days at all.
Things go wrong
and yes, I messed up quite often
My mistakes defines me to be a better me each day.
And now I have learned to be me,
not seeking validation at all.
Yes, I am me now.

Its has been day or two
I have been away from all of you.
But trust me, being away helped.
It brought back my appreciation
over little details in life
which I missed for a long while.
I used to stare at phones
waiting and  waiting for what I don't recall
But now I am staring into spaces
and the pleasures are surreal!
It made me whole after all..
I wanted nothing
but out of nowhere
I felt I have everything.

I write no more
to feel what I feel
as I feel nothing
to write & feel!

we spend time together laughing out all the time,
but you open up nothing just like a mime.
You seem to be a mystery without a single clue
You make me happy in just a snap
But I doubt whether I can make you happy just for a while?
I too wish to make you happy many a times
but something or the other goes wrong from my side.
I won't force you to be with me
but if you speak up nothing
I won't know how you really feel
all I know is, you hide it all beneath your smile.
Say whatever it is, whether you want to stay or leave
but just don't hide
as the dilemma is killing me from inside!

The word bye
always makes me think twice!
I know it means Be with You Everytime
but people say bye
& never tend to look back!
Is it supposed to mean that
I should keep them alive within my heart
& keep burning with the pain all the time?

With each one of you
In my life,
our time
might never be enough!

But what counts more
is the beauty
of our crafted bond,

With all
the differences
yet we keep

growing,
blooming
wilting
and
growing
all over again!

Yet bearing all kinds
of storms
and the
seasonal changes,

We never cease
to love and care
for each other!


And that's what makes
it special always, always!


Love you all
For all the
beautiful thrills!

- Debby :)

I met our company’s consultant
Asked him –
How are you doing?
He replied – “just surviving
And I guess it is same with everybody.”
Everybody on the same individual boats
Surviving through storms on their way
To the shore!

With the blow of the lovely wind
The leaves of the fall
.
.
.
One
after
the other
keeps falling quietly
beyond their control.
Yet they never complain
Rather keeps
Rejuvenating & healing
Finding solace from within.

"A home" -
the name itself captures
a beautiful imagery in our mind & heart.
I see people each day
rushing back to their homes
soon after the working hours ends
ticking to the clock..
And I sit, just sit for a while...
thinking my home is far..
As I stay in a rented place -
a so called home which I call
for a while..
But I miss my home
A home - "where my beloved family lives..
a lively space with special people's heart
making it precious as an overall art.

Why do I feel so much?
Good question...
I don't know why..
But I feel..that is how I am..
I tried not to feel anything
more than twice
but it is choking in both extremes..
To feel or not to feel at all...
is a dilemma to the extremes!

Finding a way home
To my own
I went every where
Here and there
In search of me
And my soul.
But found none
So returned back home.

Disheartened I was,
But saw some people
who went nowhere
But found themselves
and their soul
In a place called
Their own home.

I always waited
Waited until it felt
All dead.
It's all cold,
Still I waited.
Thought there
might be signs of
Our love being alive
All over again
But it faded
on it's own
Without any sign
And honestly
I never want to
say goodbye!

It doesn't requires interactions
to be face to face
or over phone
but just a matter of heart throbbing
from one end to the other
makes that meet-cute happen!