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1d · 212
unglued
Alice 1d
you looked as a friend
yet spoke as a lover
talking futures with me
but going home to another
5d · 28
wake up
Alice 5d
its getting bad again
I don't know what time it is
I don't know what day it is
I don't know anything beyond these covers
and the
Undone assignments
Unread texts
Unused lifelines

keep piling up
Nov 17 · 111
one day
Alice Nov 17
and maybe one day
someone will see the broken pieces i’ve
managed to glue back into
a heart and they
will admire the stained glass

brush over the unfinished bits and
call me a work of art
Nov 14 · 60
11/13/20
Alice Nov 14
we had a fight.
first one in a while

even though you were tired out of your mind
even though you had already gone to bed

you told me to sit tight for 20 minutes

I opened the front door to you
holding an iced coffee, a handwritten card,
and a stupid smileyface balloon

I have never been loved like this before
i'm not sure what to do with it
you make me feel important
Nov 6 · 407
hurt
Alice Nov 6
all this hurt is so heavy
but I'm afraid I can't put it down
see I've grown attached to it
no matter how often I drown
Nov 5 · 99
The Sun
Alice Nov 5
You were the sun
and I, the moon
you loved fierce, constant, burning
and I, quiet, with gentle push and pull
the tide needed me
the forrest needed you

You were the sun
and I, the moon
we collided only in seconds passing
a glance before daybreak
a whisper before nightfall

You are my sun
I am your moon
though the timing is never quite right
I will always love you
Nov 2 · 138
constellations
Alice Nov 2
in the end, I suppose
we are all collapsing stars

burning bright until the very end
even if we are alone,
thousands of galaxies away
many don't see us until
we're gone
Alice Nov 2
it smelled like frozen leaves
the air had teeth
"tell me" he whispered
"have not the gods, too, forgotten
how to thaw their tears?"
Oct 25 · 34
swipe right
Alice Oct 25
even if it was for only an instant
at least I was wanted
Oct 24 · 244
time capsule
Alice Oct 24
I like to freeze moments in time
take a step back, and notice all the details
so that hopefully, when we're old and gray
and barely remember our own names

I can still close my eyes and see
the plants in your living room
the $8 bottle of wine on the coffee table
the dinosaur blanket we shared
the pain in my stomach from all our laughter

and the way I was the happiest I'd ever been
Oct 24 · 245
the best one
Alice Oct 24
yes, love comes in many forms
but you're my favorite
you make me brighter
Oct 23 · 50
70% Water
Alice Oct 23
humans are 70% water
and when I was little,
I used to think that everyones 30% was different
my mother- 70% water 30% tenderness
my father- 70% water 30% laughter
my sister- 70% water 30% light

as I've gotten older,
I learned that's not exactly how
the human body works

but still, sometimes I wonder
what my 30% is
whatever it is, I hope you like it
Oct 21 · 72
the weight
Alice Oct 21
I have this backpack

every time I want to cry
or scream or yell
I take the feeling and I place it in a jar
and I zip it up in my backpack

its amazing really, how many jars
this one bag can hold

see, I've never emptied it or
even set it down because
I'm afraid if it leaves my shoulders
everything will spill out
and all the jars I've sealed
will break open and I'll hear it  

I have this backpack
and its getting heavy
so heavy
Oct 20 · 395
Opposite Day
Alice Oct 20
the birds are flying backwards
(you and I are still together)
the fish swim on land
(you unpack your bags)
the attic is below ground
(you walk into my room)
the sky is red
(you tell me you always loved me)
the grass is gray
(you tell me you still do)
I cannot process the world the same way anymore
Oct 18 · 69
author of myself
Alice Oct 18
I once wrote about
being written into existence

how I longed for someone
to put pen to paper
fingertips to keyboard
to tell me who I am
to give me worth

how could I have
forgotten

I am my own poet
and I can write just fine
I don't need you any more
Oct 17 · 34
too kind
Alice Oct 17
so scraped my bleeding heart from my shirtsleeve
it fell to the ground and i saw you
your laugh
your heartbeat
your gentle smile as you broke my heart
this is not fair
i should get to be mad at you.
i can't be mad at you
because even in shattering all i had built in us  

you did it perfectly.
Oct 15 · 576
it was long over
Alice Oct 15
you look at me
the last sunset of
my hometown
sweet and sad
but
full of
remembrance
Oct 6 · 115
more
Alice Oct 6
I never thought much of the way
you asked me how my day was
every night
and when I'd say "fine"
you'd ask me again
and again
until I told you

I never thought much of the way
when you found out I was sick
you showed up at my door
an hour later
with a thermos full of soup

I never thought much of the way
we'd end every phone call with
I love you
even if you were on your way to pick me up

I never thought much of the way
we've never been
just friends

I never thought much of the way
I've been in love with you
long before I knew it
we've always been more
Alice Oct 5
I know it seems kind of silly
but I want you to know
I feel safe enough to fall asleep
on the couch next to you

it doesn't seem like much
but really
its the only language I have
to tell you how much you mean to me
I never learned how to say I love you
Alice Oct 5
and I can't blame you, really
the gods too, were envious
you were never meant to stay
Oct 4 · 181
on almost's
Alice Oct 4
I am sitting in a pool of my own confliction
wondering if losing you
is worth gaining the love I desperately crave

I've spent so long
debating on taking the leap that
I haven't noticed the water
has reached my mouth

now I am drowning
and unable to say anything at all
we could have been extraordinary
Oct 4 · 635
anxiously awaiting
Alice Oct 4
I am terrified you'll disappear
I know I shouldn't rely so
heavily on you
but I can't go back to how I was before

not when you gave me a reason
not when you are my reason
Oct 3 · 254
determinate
Alice Oct 3
it seems to be the quiet moments
the unspoken actions
that build the foundation
of who we are

it is only the time behind
closed doors and drawn curtains
that prove you to be
whatever you may be
Sep 17 · 838
inherit
Alice Sep 17
i am my fathers child

i never learned how to
accept the love i was given

these hands
so much like his

refuse to remain open
curling into fists at the
suggestion i am enough

i’ve never allowed myself
to need anyone

i am my fathers child
I always did take after him
Sep 16 · 282
selfish
Alice Sep 16
someday i too, will
be nothing more than
a faded memory

nothing more than a
name on the tip of your
tongue or
a brief second glance
in a shop-store window

and although i knew
this was ill-fated
at conception

still, i needed to love you,
needed to know i tried my
best to make you feel

anything
Sep 10 · 193
all I ask of you
Alice Sep 10
before you break me
say my name
catch the torment in your throat,
just for a moment.
look into my eyes
commit the feeling to memory.
say my name
place humanity into the punching bag
before you take the final swing.
please
say my name
before you break me
you've already taken everything else.
Sep 9 · 339
between the lines
Alice Sep 9
and when i tell you
about how my day was
in its entirety and go off
on an entire tangent on
the one guy with the orange
(because it was the funniest thing)
and describe all the stupid details

what i’m trying to say is
i miss you a little too much
and i wish you were here
with me today to see the
one guy with the oranges
(because it’s not that funny
unless you were there)

what i’m trying to say is
that i’m scared of taking up
too much of anyone’s time
so i’m really scared that
you’re just annoyed with me
because any of your time is
more than i ever wanted

what i’m trying to say is
(you are special to me)

what i’m trying to say is
(i want you to know you are
special to me)

what i’m trying to say is
(i love you)
Sep 9 · 124
sandcastles for homes
Alice Sep 9
you built me a castle
beach front- no less
with seashells for doors
and driftwood for a flag
but it was too close to shore
the waves beat it down until
it swept away
and we laughed

this time though,
I drowned
Sep 8 · 384
I __ you
Alice Sep 8
I can't understand if this is love
not yet

all I can make sense of
is the emptiness I feel
when you're not with me
please don't go away
not until I know
Sep 1 · 324
haunted knowledge
Alice Sep 1
there was always a comfort,
fabricated as it may have been,
in the way I knew how bad it was

just by the footsteps
Aug 30 · 286
safe
Alice Aug 30
I tried to write a poem for you.
I tried to put it in words.
but the only thing I can think to say is

I love you. and
Thank you.
you're the only thing I know is real
Aug 29 · 220
fair warning
Alice Aug 29
but darling,
I told you I was not easy to love

did you tire of my honesty?
I knew you would leave from the start
Aug 24 · 123
searching
Alice Aug 24
She carves craters in her skin
hoping the light
she so desperately wants
to find
will spill out.
there is moonlight
trapped
inside of her
begging
to be set free
she can’t help but try
to reach it
Aug 22 · 215
apart
Alice Aug 22
I fall back into you
so easily
if we
were never meant to be
then why are you
my home
you make it make sense
Aug 15 · 709
wannabe
Alice Aug 15
so badly I wish to be poetic
I drink my tea in the moonlight
take evening strolls in the rain

I bring a tattered notepad with me
to the café
to the museums
I choose my words so carefully

But I'm sitting alone,
at three in the morning
writing this "poem"

and I don't feel poetic at all
it all feels like a lie
Jul 23 · 235
the end
Alice Jul 23
imagine wasting three years of your life
on someone who leaves your most
vulnerable and fragile emotions on
Read 8:27 PM
Jul 16 · 207
end of an era
Alice Jul 16
and it just hurts ya know? I wanted to be that person for you
I wanted everything to be okay.
there was a time and a place for us and I know that now but it doesn't stop me from wanting you
Jul 7 · 181
scabs
Alice Jul 7
I could never just let things go.

always digging up the graves
of past conflicts laid to rest.

always picking at the scabs,
making sure they left a scar.

I never wanted to forget
Jun 28 · 153
glass
Alice Jun 28
The walls I've built
are made of glass
nothing is left to the imagination
everything inside lay bare for
your viewing.
but
they are still walls
fortified and bulletproof
there is nothing you can do but watch
as I break myself over and over again
Alice Jun 25
but these are petty kindnesses,
stitched together with the
fear of being seen as cold

do not pretend your words hold
any meaning other than the
selfish need to placate yourself
just, don't say anything at all
Jun 22 · 97
.
Alice Jun 22
.
all you had to say was

"I'm sorry"
Jun 10 · 266
burden
Alice Jun 10
a gentle safety awaits
in your arms

{but then, you've never been gentle}

a comforting predictability
in your presence

{still, I've never known what to expect}

you make me feel loved

{you are all that I have left}

I love you

{I am so alone}
Jun 10 · 210
storm
Alice Jun 10
eventually the lightning fades
the sky turns back to gray and there was
never a thing to worry about at all
it's only a moment my love
May 6 · 160
(Toxic)
Alice May 6
sometimes the only person there for me
is the one I know shouldn't be
I know it'll burn again
I know It will ache just as
the last time

I keep myself in the cycle
but what else am I supposed to do
when on our worst nights we were
the only ones who held each other til
morning
its not all black & white
Mar 3 · 149
ghost
Alice Mar 3
i am haunted by myself
every version of the person
i was
or
could have been
gently stands at the door
waiting for me to join them
im not too far away
Mar 3 · 479
but anyways
Alice Mar 3
you know, you never did
answer my last question
brushed it off with a "haha"
and now we don't talk anymore
well, you don't
i thought it was going somewhere
before you just disappeared
Feb 27 · 184
float
Alice Feb 27
and im trying to keep everyone else
from sinking

but I've never learned how to swim
the burden of their hurts on top of my own
Feb 20 · 320
16
Alice Feb 20
16
and god, i loved him
i was far too young
far too fragile
to know what that meant, but
above all else
i loved him
still do
Feb 20 · 270
first-aid kit
Alice Feb 20
i very quickly become attached
to those with a bleeding heart
because i see myself in them

i want to make them better
i want to fix their brokenness
and maybe it's selfish
but
i think i hope that by fixing them
i'll learn to fix myself too
it hasn't worked yet
Alice Jan 14
When I was younger, I never understood
the concept of "retail therapy"

I just didn't get how people
could reason that a new outfit
or gadget would fix their issues
or calm their broken heart

I thought that it was kind of ridiculous,
to be honest.

But this new sweater almost feels like
you, and I take it all back now.
i miss you
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