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3.7k · Mar 9
long distance
Alice Mar 9
but now that I've found you
and you're millions of miles away
it hurts worse

come home
1.7k · Sep 2019
written into existence
Alice Sep 2019
It's just that
i'd like someone to
write for me
just once
i'd like to be the object of affection
i'd like for someone to find
that beauty my mother keeps telling me
i have inside
i'm not complaining
but you see
i'd just like to be the
poem
and not the poet
for once
1.1k · Dec 2020
love me quietly
Alice Dec 2020
I do not want someone "brave enough"
to love me
to tear their way through my heart
to leave the wreckage they pass through
worse than before

I want someone soft
to take their time
to notice me in the corner
to silently help me tidy up

to tuck me in bed next to them
with nothing but a "good job" and my kiss
on their lips
its always too loud
920 · Sep 2020
inherit
Alice Sep 2020
i am my fathers child

i never learned how to
accept the love i was given

these hands
so much like his

refuse to remain open
curling into fists at the
suggestion i am enough

i’ve never allowed myself
to need anyone

i am my fathers child
I always did take after him
772 · Aug 2020
wannabe
Alice Aug 2020
so badly I wish to be poetic
I drink my tea in the moonlight
take evening strolls in the rain

I bring a tattered notepad with me
to the café
to the museums
I choose my words so carefully

But I'm sitting alone,
at three in the morning
writing this "poem"

and I don't feel poetic at all
it all feels like a lie
771 · Mar 4
your eyes can't lie
Alice Mar 4
but that look
your look
still haunts me

how can so many emotions be wrapped
in an iris?

the last words you said to me
right before you left

had already been spoken
you told me you were leaving far before you did
710 · Nov 2020
hurt
Alice Nov 2020
all this hurt is so heavy
but I'm afraid I can't put it down
see I've grown attached to it
no matter how often I drown
698 · Oct 2020
anxiously awaiting
Alice Oct 2020
I am terrified you'll disappear
I know I shouldn't rely so
heavily on you
but I can't go back to how I was before

not when you gave me a reason
not when you are my reason
Alice Mar 2
I will write poems about you
memorize your Starbucks order
(even if it's different each season)
ill hold your hand
play with your hair as you rest in my lap

I just want our love to be soft
something safe and warm
we can both crawl into
like hot cocoa after a snowstorm
im tired of violent delights
I just want to feel safe
665 · Oct 2020
it was long over
Alice Oct 2020
you look at me
the last sunset of
my hometown
sweet and sad
but
full of
remembrance
643 · Mar 2
enemies to lovers
Alice Mar 2
You pointed out
all my favorite love stories begin in hatred
an offhand comment about the books and shows
I consume like air

I realized there's nothing I want more
then for someone to see me for my worst
pick apart every negative attribute

yet still promise to love me
all of me
im terrified of disappointing
642 · Nov 2019
I can't escape
Alice Nov 2019
i knew you were toxic
i knew you weren't good
but you understood me
and
that scares me
what if that means
i'm like you
635 · Nov 2020
Mother
Alice Nov 2020
when I tell my mom I feel sick
the first thing she does
is kiss my forehead to see if I have a fever
and
I just feel like
there's a metaphor there somewhere
602 · Dec 2020
background noise
Alice Dec 2020
I've never had the privilege to be
the main character
never enough for a leading role

always bleeding plain red
instead of magic
578 · Jul 2019
The Architect
Alice Jul 2019
i could build a cathedral

out of all the words i

want to wrap you in and

kiss upon your lips


i could construct villages

out of all the hopes i

keep sacredly out of

reach


i could fill a mausoleum

with all the promises

i have received with open arms

only for them to leave me

just as those who gifted them


i could write cities and forests

and galaxies into existence

using only the words that

come to mind when i hear your voice

or when i feel the gentle comfort of

your breath intermixing with mine

when our universes are only a few

heartbeats away from colliding


i could build a life with you

and that’s what leaves me speechless
567 · Dec 2019
miss manners
Alice Dec 2019
There are some things
not to be said, like
"i'm tired of having to explain myself to you"
and
"i'm happier now that you're gone"
562 · Mar 2020
but anyways
Alice Mar 2020
you know, you never did
answer my last question
brushed it off with a "haha"
and now we don't talk anymore
well, you don't
i thought it was going somewhere
before you just disappeared
549 · Oct 2020
Opposite Day
Alice Oct 2020
the birds are flying backwards
(you and I are still together)
the fish swim on land
(you unpack your bags)
the attic is below ground
(you walk into my room)
the sky is red
(you tell me you always loved me)
the grass is gray
(you tell me you still do)
I cannot process the world the same way anymore
548 · Mar 31
manifestations
Alice Mar 31
there is a time and a place in which I am entirely and completely loved. in which my demons have been quieted and my mornings are soft. I will be safe. I will love and be loved without questioning.
I will create my own paradise.
I will repeat this truth until it is my reality
518 · Jan 25
still not fireproof
Alice Jan 25
you told me I don't have to be okay all the time
you told me you still loved me no matter what

its hard because I want to believe you
god, I want to trust it so badly

but every time I've put the walls down
lay down my defense

the only thing i've been left with is
ash in the wake
509 · Feb 2
you'll be fine
Alice Feb 2
I told you I was drowning

you said you knew how to swim

but what is that good for

if you still won't jump in
509 · Jul 2019
Unrequited
Alice Jul 2019
.1. you will sing songs of sunflowers and the rainy afternoon glow of a summer evening, you will burn incense and keep flowers on every dresser in the house

.2. you’ll hum love songs and ponder the inevitable happily ever after, you’ll imagine what falling asleep to the rhythm of their breath feels like. it feels like home.

.3. you will see mundane tasks like grocery shopping become haunted by the thoughts of them, the daydream of picking out tea together keeps the smile lingering long enough for the cashier to notice

.4. you’ll see them talking with someone else, watch the history of their relationship trace back far further than yours ever could. your breath catches. you didn’t realize how wonderful it could be to be invisible until this very moment in time

.5. reality settles in for the night and you are kept awake by the realizations of your faults, your chest contracts with the thought of someone else listening to the poetry of their heartbeat, every name pulled from their lips in passing conversation becomes a death sentence

.6. you will convince yourself you’re okay. that however close they may be to anyone else that you have a connection, a spark, that can’t be replicated and how could you ever be so foolish to think that it could fall flat in the face of others

.7. with the passing days you will become increasingly irritable with anyone and everyone that reminds you that you are not the one nor the only in their life

.8. you will tell yourself to let go, you will list all the reasons they wouldn’t be good for you.

.9. somehow the list remains empty

.10. you will eventually remove them from your life. slowly, but surely. your pillows will collect your tears like precious gems. hearing their name restarts the process

.11. you will move on with time. you will put new flowers in the old vases, crush the dead petals into a jar of potpourri. you will smile with sadness and memories at the scent of it. you will be glad you knew them. you will be glad they are happy now.

.12. you will be happy again. I promise.
474 · Jan 13
please
Alice Jan 13
the hurt in my eyes
was never a warning sign
it seemed an encouragement
more than anything else
469 · Sep 2020
I __ you
Alice Sep 2020
I can't understand if this is love
not yet

all I can make sense of
is the emptiness I feel
when you're not with me
please don't go away
not until I know
443 · Sep 2019
window to the soul
Alice Sep 2019
when your eyes meet mine
the world around me slows
it fades in and out
only bits and pieces float through
my consciousness
all i can see is your face
and your smile
and your eyes
and nothing seems to bother me
except the fact
that you're so far away
433 · Sep 2020
between the lines
Alice Sep 2020
and when i tell you
about how my day was
in its entirety and go off
on an entire tangent on
the one guy with the orange
(because it was the funniest thing)
and describe all the stupid details

what i’m trying to say is
i miss you a little too much
and i wish you were here
with me today to see the
one guy with the oranges
(because it’s not that funny
unless you were there)

what i’m trying to say is
that i’m scared of taking up
too much of anyone’s time
so i’m really scared that
you’re just annoyed with me
because any of your time is
more than i ever wanted

what i’m trying to say is
(you are special to me)

what i’m trying to say is
(i want you to know you are
special to me)

what i’m trying to say is
(i love you)
422 · Apr 30
to you
Alice Apr 30
I think in a small way, I always knew it was you
you've always taken care of me quietly
told me difficult truths
surprised me with my favorite drink
(you memorized my order)
because you knew I was sad before I even
told you
you make me want to be a better person
I am a better person because of you
I like myself better with you
you even took me & my little sister to ice cream just because
415 · Jan 28
unequal
Alice Jan 28
there was always a darkness in him.
the light that she so easily shone,
disappeared in the black hole cut in the
middle of his chest.

he never gave it back
396 · Sep 2020
selfish
Alice Sep 2020
someday i too, will
be nothing more than
a faded memory

nothing more than a
name on the tip of your
tongue or
a brief second glance
in a shop-store window

and although i knew
this was ill-fated
at conception

still, i needed to love you,
needed to know i tried my
best to make you feel

anything
387 · Dec 2020
talking to the mirror
Alice Dec 2020
you feel too much
you want to crawl inside
the warmth of their love
and never come out again

the moment you are alone
it is cold
it is filling the silence
the emptiness in the air
with anything

you want to be whole on your own


I want to be my own
382 · Oct 2020
on almost's
Alice Oct 2020
I am sitting in a pool of my own confliction
wondering if losing you
is worth gaining the love I desperately crave

I've spent so long
debating on taking the leap that
I haven't noticed the water
has reached my mouth

now I am drowning
and unable to say anything at all
we could have been extraordinary
374 · Nov 2020
winter reminds me of him
Alice Nov 2020
it smelled like frozen leaves
the air had teeth
"tell me" he whispered
"have not the gods, too, forgotten
how to thaw their tears?"
371 · Sep 2020
haunted knowledge
Alice Sep 2020
there was always a comfort,
fabricated as it may have been,
in the way I knew how bad it was

just by the footsteps
370 · Feb 2020
16
Alice Feb 2020
16
and god, i loved him
i was far too young
far too fragile
to know what that meant, but
above all else
i loved him
still do
358 · Oct 2020
time capsule
Alice Oct 2020
I like to freeze moments in time
take a step back, and notice all the details
so that hopefully, when we're old and gray
and barely remember our own names

I can still close my eyes and see
the plants in your living room
the $8 bottle of wine on the coffee table
the dinosaur blanket we shared
the pain in my stomach from all our laughter

and the way I was the happiest I'd ever been
357 · Nov 2020
unglued
Alice Nov 2020
you looked as a friend
yet spoke as a lover
talking futures with me
but going home to another
348 · Oct 2019
tired
Alice Oct 2019
the sadness
is back again
i don't know why
it just seems like every time
i get better
or
i move forward
the world tilts
and all of a sudden
i am no longer running away
i am running into the darkness
always running
and i'm tired
so tired
341 · Feb 2020
first-aid kit
Alice Feb 2020
i very quickly become attached
to those with a bleeding heart
because i see myself in them

i want to make them better
i want to fix their brokenness
and maybe it's selfish
but
i think i hope that by fixing them
i'll learn to fix myself too
it hasn't worked yet
337 · Nov 2020
constellations
Alice Nov 2020
in the end, I suppose
we are all collapsing stars

burning bright until the very end
even if we are alone,
thousands of galaxies away
many don't see us until
we're gone
333 · Aug 2020
safe
Alice Aug 2020
I tried to write a poem for you.
I tried to put it in words.
but the only thing I can think to say is

I love you. and
Thank you.
you're the only thing I know is real
Alice Oct 2020
I know it seems kind of silly
but I want you to know
I feel safe enough to fall asleep
on the couch next to you

it doesn't seem like much
but really
its the only language I have
to tell you how much you mean to me
I never learned how to say I love you
Alice Jan 2020
you noticed.

if nothing else,
if we will never be more
than the faint wonderings
of what could have been.

even if this is as far as the story goes,
at least once, just once,

I was seen
you know things about me that I don't even notice
317 · Nov 2020
one day
Alice Nov 2020
and maybe one day
someone will see the broken pieces i’ve
managed to glue back into
a heart and they
will admire the stained glass

brush over the unfinished bits and
call me a work of art
311 · Jun 2020
burden
Alice Jun 2020
a gentle safety awaits
in your arms

{but then, you've never been gentle}

a comforting predictability
in your presence

{still, I've never known what to expect}

you make me feel loved

{you are all that I have left}

I love you

{I am so alone}
308 · Aug 2020
fair warning
Alice Aug 2020
but darling,
I told you I was not easy to love

did you tire of my honesty?
I knew you would leave from the start
290 · Oct 2020
the best one
Alice Oct 2020
yes, love comes in many forms
but you're my favorite
you make me brighter
289 · Dec 2020
sleepless
Alice Dec 2020
yet the days stopped turning to night
ever stretching
everpresent
I just wanted the sky to fade
288 · Sep 2019
The Author
Alice Sep 2019
you've read books and poems ever since you were too small to reach the countertops without a step-stool. you were immersed in the worlds and philosophy of others far before you knew what that meant. this is a good thing. because of this, you've always known the right words to say, what to do in a situation because of what you've read in this book or that poem. you have become an author without ever putting words on the page. the characters look to you to see what they will do next. it has become your responsibility to fix their problems and smooth out their character arcs. but being an author is lonely. because while everyone is worrying over the characters in the story, no one ever asks the author if they're okay. if they need help with the weight of hundreds of universes sitting atop their shoulders, no, the author is fine. even if their hands go numb and the pencil splinters their fingertips. the author will see it through to the end.
286 · Oct 2020
determinate
Alice Oct 2020
it seems to be the quiet moments
the unspoken actions
that build the foundation
of who we are

it is only the time behind
closed doors and drawn curtains
that prove you to be
whatever you may be
279 · Nov 2020
The Sun
Alice Nov 2020
You were the sun
and I, the moon
you loved fierce, constant, burning
and I, quiet, with gentle push and pull
the tide needed me
the forrest needed you

You were the sun
and I, the moon
we collided only in seconds passing
a glance before daybreak
a whisper before nightfall

You are my sun
I am your moon
though the timing is never quite right
I will always love you
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