have you tried to count
all these grains?
do not bother; instead
count all the ways you
can put them together.

until then, I will
grab a handful
and a shovel and some
quiet splashes of water
to pass the time.

this one has long spires
pointing above with all its
might, as if showing me
that the only way
to go is up.

another has windows beside
windows and they invite
me to come take a look, yet
I keep distance in fear that
I see something painful.

over there has a drawbridge
a shortcut to go the easy way
in or easy way out; or maybe you
will pull it up when you've
let it more that you can handle.

that farthest one is actually
the same as the home of princes
with towers and balconies where
together they spend their days
watching the flowers bloom.

this right here is my favorite
the youngest one, still a flat
expanse of soft ground that
begs to be held and to be
formed and loved.

choose one. call it by name,
because now you shall own it.
Embrace it, but take care
that your elbows fit the spires
and your shins are at peace.

but sooner that you wish,
the water retreats with the
will of potential; until it
finally roars back with
the bellow of decision.

and alas,
it is clean again.

the gulf widens
to reveal a scene
completely new to me

the gulf widens and
the earth splits and
the clouds drift and

so, we
must finally
part

Before you check your phone
Before you wash your face
Before you eat your breakfast
Before you resume your sleep

Draw open the curtains
Embrace each light ray and
Run your fingers through the sea
Leaking through your windows

Stretch open your arms
Feel each light ray and
Watch it glow as it hits you
Drenching you with white

Breathe in, breathe out well--
Hoping to inhale one light ray and
Engulf your blood with it
Running through your veins.

When that is done, you are complete.
You are brand new, fearless, impervious.

For twenty-four hours, when you are cut
You will not bleed--

You will shine.

you were a storm--
whirling and whistling and...
well, everything and anything
all at once

and I was caught unprepared.

though they feared your wrath
panicking and praying and...
perhaps, everything and anything
all at once

but I paid them no mind.

violently tearing that dotted line separating
making believe and messing up and
maybe, everything and anything
all at once

or what I thought I feared.

when the winds have faded
when the waters have evaporated
when the smoke clouds have cleared
all at once
I realize finally that

the calm and the quiet and the peace and
well, all of it
was what I truly feared

while waiting I made
a small
list of things
I associate with you:

understand
treat
placed
take
communicate
judge
interpret
tr­ust
use
giving

Yes, I miss you
And this list says
You miss me too

Now look, the horse is dead.
Must we dig up its old bones?
They are all around us
Fragments of the last few months
And I tried to pick them up
One by one
Figuring out how they all connected
Figuring out how they all broke
Piece by piece
And I tried to let them go
Last few crystal fragments of the past
They are all around us
Must we dig up its old bones?
Now look, the horse is dead.

breathe in
breathe out*
as they
lower
your
own
coffin

Have you packed all your things?
Look carefully at the years.
Wipe away those wet eyeliner smears
Now that we have seen the green light.

Have you checked your closet?
Leave what is tattered and old.
That gardening dress can still be sold
Now that we have seen the green light.

Have you forgotten anything else?
It is difficult to put those mementos in a box.
But pick them up: your comics, your playing blocks
Now that we have seen the green light.

Have you prepared yourself to leave?
It all disappears in an eye's blink.
But the future holds more than what you can think
Now that we have seen the green light.

The new settlers will hopefully make this house bright.
Unready you may be, there is no need to fight
For we have finally seen the greatest green light.

Entrenched for the longest time
The weeks and months and years flew.
Although the winters have gone
I will always be rooting for you.

Searched within that field
For a single speck to turn to.
Although we are already withering
I will always be rooting for you.

Ingrained for the longest time
The soil, with petals, is blanketed anew.
Although we are already drifting
I will always be rooting for you.

Swept clean from the storm
Into where I know is true;
Although I am at the edges
I will always be rooting for you.

I
wish I'd see
someone
in front of
the mirror

rain rain go away
cause the wifi needs to stay

i missed you:
like a child with his blanket
like an old song you listened in your childhood
on a random radio station

you missed me too:
except,
like coming late to the train station

you told me
"you cannot miss something you never had"

i ask you
"when I think of you, why do I feel sad?"

I held you gently when you were most fragile.
You solid cloud.
Borrowing your calcium shell from
The turtle who flew.
Sitting among the twigs and
Thorns you made your throne.

I held you gently when you were awakened.
You precocial chick.
Watching your pinions grow
Into deadly nibs.
Seeing you filled with
Self-defined joie de vivre.

I held you gently when you were set to be free.
You helium ball.
Soaring to your motherland where
You are meant to be.
Looking at all the faces and
These radiant faces reciprocate you.

I held you gently when you were shot.
You bloodied phoenix.
Burning peacefully with all the might
You could possibly muster.
Embracing your demise with
Nothing more than an expectant smile.

I held you gently when I was most fragile.
Yet I know your short life had been worthwhile.

even though I know my heart is at stake
revealing drapes do nothing for me-- these are earthly.
i am more than earthly; i see not what the sun shines on.
pleasing is the blood that flows through you.

moonlight bathed-- the only time I can go out;
although that is the case, I demand you:
vanquish me with your heavenly light.

I look back at everything
Asking myself why;
These feelings will disappear
only on a day that doesn't end

in Y

I will pretend
That you are beside me.
Arm touches yours
At each bump on the road.
I turn around;
Your face clandestine.
These baggage
Standing oppressively.

I will pretend
That you are beside me.
Because the last
Time I could not forget.
Tiny flutters
Rise and fall just the same.
I recognize
Your mark on everything.

I will pretend
That you are beside me.
Even if I'm
Already going home
A great distance
I allow you to be.
Forever gone,
A fact I'll never see.

darkness extends its warm arms around
me and its fingernails trace the delicate
purple veins tattooed on my forearms

thin curlicues and tiny vessels of this very
thing-- this thing that reverberates and
reverberates and reverberates within

this tiny black knife makes its first vicious
forceful trace-- the curls becoming
faucets of this bluish purple liquid

a puddle which defiles the pristine floor
-- maybe this is a suitable cleaning
device-- a thin rod with this pointy

shiny silvery tip, collecting tiny mercury
***** from the puddle, as I rearranged
the puddle into the thing bluish purple

liquid curlicues just like that whence
they came

whenever you feel
inconsequentially small
remember one thing:
the period.

a dark pixel
a tiny nuanced dot
that manages to
transform everything.

"I'm fine"
becomes "I'm fine."
"Okay"
becomes "Okay."

but perhaps the most painful
of all is to see
"goodbye"
change into "goodbye."

They
told me
“Go out and
meet new and different people
called strangers,” but I asked, “Where do
I meet them?” They shrugged
so I gave
them a
Mirror.

everybody deserves
to have their dreams
come true;

I look outside of the
window and see an
ocean of faces;

I realize that
others deserve
it more

Beneath the stars at night
I feel light, vacuously transcendent.
With only one request
Floating in my mind:
Breathe me.
So I will flow into
Your lungs—a vivifying expansion
Leading to the fleeting journey;
Something called “giving of life”
Where I circulate through your
Veins and be with you.
Yet I know that this
Moment is not to last;
In a few seconds you
Exhale—an action that is
Now perfunctory, flushing me out
Of your system without thinking
Twice about it at all.

But I leave happy.
For I have done my part
To keep you alive
For your next breath.

icy shards are left in
my heart: once
it was filled with the
soft radiance of something
special;
you: an icicle piercing
on my heart insistently
until you yanked it
With your own words. it was to be
a heap of pieces of abrasions
littering at my feet; yet it melted
into a cooling puddle of water