My best friend Straight  
Is the girl who lives next door
She's who every girl adores
And the boys?
Well they want more

Sometimes I wish I could be her for a day
And not hide beneath my clothes
That I could be who I was
And not fear the words untold

But then I guess
I'd face her problems too
Having well thought out dreams
And being told that's not what a girl should do

And besides I should embrace who I am
Yell it to the world
I should reach inside my soul
And throw it to those left untold

And if they don't get who I am
I'll say I could love everyone you see
Not for their looks
But for their personalities

And if they ask my name
I'll stare deep within
I'll say I love everyone for who they are
You can call me Pansexuality

Then once my truth is out
I'll fly high above the skies
I'll love so deeply
It will make grown men and women cry

And my best friend Straight
Will finally get to see
Everyone I love
And every single piece of me
----------------------------------------------

This is who I am
Every tiny bit of me
If you don't like it
Than you're not seeing what I see

Every single moment
Of every single day
Even when I'm happy
The madness won't stay away

For with every passing minute
I feel it all slip away
And instead of being sad
There's a numbness that stays

Every word he said
Lives rent-free inside my mind
So when I lay awake
It's his words
Spilling from my eyes

Every word he said
Has been burned into my skin
So even when he's not around
He's still an itch
I must abide

Every word he said
Courses through my veins
So when my blood is spilt
It's his tainted words
That will leave a stain behind

On the floorboards
In the kitchen
One evening in the fall
Is where it all began to go wrong

As I stood there washing dishes
Beside me, he droned on
Each word, he nailed into me
Punctured deep into my skin
So forever and always
They would be lodged within

Water kept on flowing
From the facet
Drip, drip, drip
It wasn't until later
That the tears began to slip

A stranger came by after
Say hello, I did not do
And with that decision
More words were told anew

This time it was the father
Nailing words into my skin
Disrespectful, ungrateful
Might be packing up real soon

And so came the nights
Restless, tossing, turning
Scrolling through
Nearby homeless shelters
In case I got the boot

And even as the days passed by
And the days turned into months
I could never repair
The broken shards of my trust

So, even though I still live here
It will never be my home
When I still have to do dishes
In the room
Where it all began to go wrong

I love you more than words can say
More than actions could convey
And more than
Anyone could every say
They love you

You say you can't be changed
That one's mind cannot be bent
So why is it
That my mind
Has learned
To accept that you will never
Begin to comprehend
Or accept
Who I am

In the big red house
Lives a man of many words
Usually delightful
But with each bottle
The meaning and intentions blur

And once the bottles gone
No matter how polite
There's still a lingering memory
Of his words
From past
Drunken nights

You held me                          
In your arms                    
Then let me go

You held me
In your arms
Then let me grow

You held me
In your arms
And I loved you more
Than you could ever know

Then I watched you fall apart
And held you close
Then I watched you fall apart
And had to let you go

We'll always be worlds apart
Every moment of the day
For even when you're beside me
Your mind is racing away

We'll always be two passing cars
On this ever-winding road
Until all that's left of you and me
Is distance long foretold

You'll always be my shooting star
I can see you streaking by
And in a blink, you're gone
Before I can even say goodbye

You'll always be my world
And I know that I'm yours too
But there's a universe out there
And we're explorers, me and you

Dear 2022,

I will try to have hope for you.
I will try to hold you near.
I will try to love you.
And in return please be a dear.
Please don't let them hurt me.
Please hold me when my tears fall.
Please be there for me through it all.

And when it gets tough.
Let there be goodness.
Let there be love too.
And let hope blossom anew.
If you could do this.
We would all be extremely, entirely,
gratefully indebted to you.  

Sincerely,
Those hoping for something new

I smile...
      
     You make                                     I smile
      me smile                                    when we
     when you                                   breath the
        laugh                                        same air


I smile                                               when you're       
  here, or when                               you're there
     and ***' I see                  you everywhere.
       But then comes         despair. Because
            I love you so much. And you
                       don't even care

There's a little girl
Inside of me
Who threatens to break free
Every time I think about her
She smiles down on me

She dances in my heart
And crawls through my soul
But whenever I'm asked
Who she is
I say I no longer know

The last star dims
And the universe fades
All alone is a girl
Lost in her haze

She wakes up to no one
And nothing fills her head
She's just a corpse walking
Until one day
She'll lie instead

I love you
Even if you don't care
I love you
Even through my despair
I love you
Even if you're never there
But I mostly love you
For the times
You looked me in the eyes
And I saw your presence there

A house forgotten in the wind
A girl the only one to enter its depths
Until today when a friend climbs the steps

Inside comes the friend
The girls heart starts to race
A friend in her waters
A friend in her place

But soon the friend leaves
And the girls heart won't slow
So she's left with the beat
And her thoughts that unroll

Why is it that nobody comes to her home
That they take it for granted
That it's there she will go

Do they hate her home
Or the person within
A girl who is boredom
Whose potential is thin

She points to him
And says he was the one
My heart hinders
And my mind goes numb

For weeks I told her of my pain
The way my heart fluttered
At the mention of his name

Now this news comes to late
For my heart has taken another shape-

This shape is her
But she'd already hooked
And even if she wasn't
She's not the kind to give me
A second look

Deep inside me
I seek what is behold
But I worry
That time has yet to fold

For climate change
And going insane
Are both things
That seem to slowly elevate

Except as the years pass
Alas the speed of change
Picks up its pace
Ice caps soon to disintegrate

And this leaves my insides cold
Apprehension takes a hold
For I fear
The end would be quite drear
And by then every mind
Would be locked inside
A body ready for chaos to unfold

So to stop this
We must not just grab hope
But grab our voices and our feet
And set out to stop our worlds defeat

For to stop this heat
Action is what we need
And we must impede
These greenhouse gases
That people seem to often release

And we must hug the Earth
For it’s here children birth
And grasslands grow
And animals live before death takes hold

So love the Earth
As it loves you
And one day your grandchildren
Will be able to love it too

I'm not broken
Just hard to understand
And I often see my words unspoken
And feel the bitterness will never end

So, even if I wonder
How far my legs will stand
I still know
That I'm not broken
Just hard to understand

I can feel my body breaking
in the tiredness of my bones
I can feel my body breaking
in the heaviness of my clothes

I can feel myself letting go
of what I used to dream
I can feel myself letting go
as the apathy rises around me

I can feel my mind shattering
as he tells me what he thinks
I can feel my mind shattering
as our friendship starts to sink

I can feel so much
but I still don't seem to care
I can feel so much
in the distance that is there

I can't let myself feel this way
in the long-range
I can't let myself feel this way
it's time to make some change

In certain words you say
I hear the echos of the past
In certain words you say
It takes me way, way back

I don't want to be mad anymore
But your words follow me around
I don't want to be mad anymore
But in your words, I drown

I lay awake
Cry for their sake
But not on the outside
My tears flow
From the inside
Numb thoughts fill my mind
As I wonder why
Why I cry
When I know
The worst day is behind

This body is not my home
The words you use for me are not my own
So, please don't presume to know me
As you see my passing by
What lies beneath the surface
Is more than what meets
Society's eye

You're not gone
But living through my veins
So when people ask where you are
I say nothing really changed

Though you're gone
Your memories fill us
With join and pain alike
But that's how we know
That you lived a successful life