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Aug 2014 · 640
Forget not HIS love!
Twinkle Aug 2014
You may laugh
you may scorn
but it true mate
He died for you
He died for me

Because our burden was so great
And its price could not be paid
Then He stepped in a tipped the scales

The Son of Man took your burden
So you could be free
To live your life accordingly

His love penetrates the hardest hearts
And makes lovers of hardened sinners
His gentle touch will bring you to your knees
When you surrender to his mystery.

His love forget not
His sacrifice so great
Oh son of humanity
Forget not your redeemer
Open wide your heart to claim
Speak loud and His Love proclaim!
His passion and love speaks a story
Never can one forget such a history!
I Love you Jesus!
Aug 2014 · 1.5k
Closed heart
Twinkle Aug 2014
I've closed my heart
Locked it up
Thrown away the key
No one is to enter here
No escape for any plea

I shall not burden u with my care
You have your own share to bear
My tears in silent streams they roll
Something u shall never behold

I shall push away every chance
To lean on your shoulder and cry
Though I want it very much
That glimpse of my pain you can never pry

For you my demeanor shall always be strong
Even though I am breaking inside
The only memory ull have of me
is  my smiling face enjoying each stride
Aug 2014 · 1.3k
Forgiveness!
Twinkle Aug 2014
Can you forgive me dear friend?
Can you forgive me the hurt, I caused?
Can you find it in your heart, dear friend,
that compassion, I know I do not deserve!

I’ve been reckless with my choice of words
Took you for granted with what I said.
How cruel I’ve been, I now realize
and careless to think you’d not be offend.

How how I wish, I could take back
How I wish, I could eat my words
When I ponder on those words I said
and the deeds that sowed the seed.

I’ve shed remorseful tears,
and long to know your forgiveness
What I said was not correct
But now past the time it is.
For sorrow now engulfs my heart!

To think I put you through this pain
I was careless, reckless and unabashed
Putting myself before your needs
I promised to be a true friend.
But could not get further than this.

I deserve your silence,
I deserve your ridicule
I deserve that you ignore.
For had I been in the same place,
I know that’s what I’d do for sure.

I am not asking that you take me back
I am not asking that you make amends
Just the words would suffice
To make me feel, that I am right again.

Your forgiveness would be the healing touch
My soul longs for so desperately!
For this would be setting me free
Knowing what I did to upset you..
This is the least of all things..

I shall forever remember this fate
that sealed my destiny..
Maybe our paths never cross again and so my plea..
The only prayer that’d escape my lips and a sigh to God above
Is to bless you and keep you dear friend,
Sheltered in His love!
When I sent this forgiveness poem to someone, I got a response that it showed "sad choice of words, merely repetitive meaning"  Hello friends, gimme your feedback please. So I can change! I take your feedback positively and constructively. Love always!
Aug 2014 · 992
Unknown misery!
Twinkle Aug 2014
Sometimes it's so easy to loose yourself
in unknown thoughts and unknown misery.
Wrapped up so tightly like in a cocoon
Struggling to breathe normally

Wasted moments in life precious history
Desolate dreams strewn so aimlessly
Burdens carried weighed down desperately
Waiting, longing for that moment to be free

When did the opportunity, eyes closed were we
Never did pause for a moment
Rushing through insanity

Stop now awhile, rest and rewind
Gather your dreams and hope anew
Embrace your possibility to make it true
Let go of that burden weighing u down
Cleave not to miseries silent sound.

Unwrap and unbound breathe your freedom
Rise up, soar up reason beckons
The horizon is clear,  the road near
The canvas of your story spread out wide and clear
Waiting with baited breath
Yearning to be intimate
Restless and impatient
Impregnated with your colors
Awaiting the strokes on it's soul 
your collage will leave.
Twinkle Aug 2014
When my tears r spent
And I can no more cry
I relive every moment
And realize that it was u
Who actually made me stronger

If it were not for terrible words
I would not find the courage to write

If it were not for your aspersions
I would not be willing to try

If it were not for your doubts
I would not my resolve make firm

Because you laughed at my dreams
I reinforced them harder

Dug deep and connected to my inner being
I found myself because of you

Because of you
I learned to live and survive

Because everything you did wrong
Taught me something new

It also taught me that I did not need u
So thank u

You were meant to be that chapter for me
Where I cud learn another lesson in humanity
Sometimes we need that someone who hurts us so that we can become stronger! Strange!
Aug 2014 · 737
What do I stand to gain?
Twinkle Aug 2014
Strange are your ways Oh world!
You ask me what do I stand to gain
When I help strangers on their way
Pause to give my time
Spend so much of it in selfless care

What do I stand to gain?

When I make your burdens mine
Think you'll need my help
And lend my shoulder to lean

What do I stand to gain?

When I work for you and your pain
I see beyond your need
To what my help can mean

What do I stand to gain?

When you stretch out your hand
And look my way
Knowing maybe somewhere
Someone will open their heart in true care

What do I stand to gain?

When I love so deep
Knowing time and again that it will hurt
You may care not a dime
And you may never return the time

What do I stand to gain?

I smile and reply
I stand to gain nothing
Cause if I did want anything in return
My hand I would not extend
A self serving attitude is not mine
Don't try to reason, cause you won't find
I choose to love freely and openly
It's for you to decide
You want to use me or love me
To each one his own
I have chosen this path
To be free from expectations
Hurt not and you will not be hurt
You decide what's for you to do.

On the other hand cannot stop what I do
For the only thought that governs me
Is Someone some where is aching just like me
When I need it so badly I know what I see
And then unconsciously I reach out
Thinking I am stretching into infinity
You see this life is a full circle
And one day it'll come back to me
So I am doing myself a favor, actually :-)
This is a strange write, because it was inspired by a casual insensitive remark by someone about why I help someone, when I have nothing to gain from it.  I found it so stupid and strange....but then I realized..maybe I need to explain.
Aug 2014 · 1.3k
Negativity!
Twinkle Aug 2014
I could tell you if I could muster the courage
How your words cut me deep
If a weapon more sharper than a tongue could be forged
Metals weapons could cease to exist!

For what cuts a human down
Is not the might of the steel
More fragile than your resolve
Is the balance of your will

When you decide to let the negatives lie by the wayside
A causal uncaring word seems to seep inside
Then like a venom its spreads out
To snap and **** your life and drain
Till your battling your mind
And scream you'll go insane

Your resolve has lost its test
Because the venom has killed the will.
Struck at the roots the evil knows its strength
Your heart is an unsuspecting victim
Your mind a playground vast and bare
Start from the heart where emotions stems
And spread to the mind and ****

The battles lost dear friend
At least momentarily
Dark clouds gather fog the space
A silver lining is hard to see

Chill out, wait out, hold on, stay low
No other weapon works against it
Perseverance is the only antidote
Let the storm abate, lower yourself
Hide yourself, gather yourself
NEVER did it last long
YOU (on the other hand) always will!
Tough times don't last.  Negativity always needs a victim! But you are not to give up yet!
Aug 2014 · 1.6k
I once had a heart!
Twinkle Aug 2014
I once had a heart
A loving heart
A trifle too gentle
A tad too soft

I once had a heart
A heart that shared
A heart that cared
A heart that listened
Silent cry that wud 
have gone unnoticed
I had I not known otherwise

I once had a heart
Your joys and griefs
So part of me
Your pain I bore
My heart it tore

I once had a heart
A heart that beat
With a fiery fervor
Living your dreams
Was like elixir

I once had a heart
A heart that sang
With a childlike freedom
Unknown to burdened minds

I once had a heart
A heart u twisted
And cut into 2
But unfortunately,
It was not just u

The world stepped on it
Taken for a doormat
Simple dreams
Unpretentious self
No holds barred
I wore on my sleeve 
For all to see

Burnt to a cinder
Ashes  is all that's left 
The pieces of my heart
Now lie at the bottom of an ocean
Or floating on foreign shores
Swept away by the morning tide

I ditched it for a new ride
A heart stepped on by all
So I ditched it to stop the pain
Stop the hurt all over again

I found myself a new companion
Superfluous is my new friend
Sorry come again
I won't be hurt by cruel words
Insults will never cause a dent
And no more will I bend

But darling don't u worry
I don't need your money
Cause when all that's gone
And u need a little loving
When the night is cold
I'll smile and say.
Sorry "love" is an old forgotten way

My new friend is Superfluous
And he didn't need my heart
So you see now I am heartless!
I have forgotten to Love.
Learning to cope with insults hurts and bruising words.  I find solace in being superfluous.  Learnt to stop the pain!
Jul 2014 · 980
To my Hello Poetry Family
Twinkle Jul 2014
Hiding emotions from prying eyes
Burying thoughts deep inside
True feelings never did flow
Afraid my weakness wud show

Fear of being shunned
Made me scurry behind
Pathetic excuses
Waste of womankind

Yearning to fly high
Soar high into deep blue skies
Longing for the inner bird
To find it's soulful song

Then I found u
Hello poetry family
I know I am home 
with my very own

Accepting, non judgemental
Where your feelings be
Sweet words, encouraging
Sharing pain, tears and grieving
Lifting your spirits high
Different! yet so much at harmony

Here I feel at home
Among my very own
Feel u'll understand
Jumbled words
Tumbled mess
Comedy of errors
Don't distort the meanings
behind the pain
At the end of the day
I'll have someone to listen
Sharing beautiful thoughts
Leaving encouraging words
 like treasures in my trove

Some one who'll listen
Some one who'll pray
Some one who'll pass my way
Some one whose heart I ve touched
Some one whose life I've lived
Some one whose pain I have made mine
Some one who'll bear mine as well.

Emotional creatures that we are
Connected by one goal
Bound by one language 
the language of poetry
Is where we all shall be!
Hello Poetry
This for all you wonderful people on Hello Poetry. Thank you. I feel so much accepted here.
Jul 2014 · 1.1k
Forge ahead!
Twinkle Jul 2014
It's over!
Its behind me
I've let it go
The pain that held me ransom in its throes

No longer hurting,
No longer killer
My life is much more complete and fuller

I've learnt my lessons, my time beckons
A chance to live now freely
A time to discover
Motivate yourself to move beyond your pain, to let go and forge ahead. Shun the pain, carry your lessons like treasure. Move on!
Jul 2014 · 6.0k
Will you love me if I said
Twinkle Jul 2014
Will you love me if I said
I have AHDH
(attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)
That I will jump before you speak
Will be impatient to get my way
I can love u and hate you at the same time
I will nod, but not understand.
Will you love me truly, even then?
Cause your love will make all the difference.


Will you love me if I said
I have BPD
(Borderline Personality Disorder)
That I will be so drawn to you
That I'll throw myself at you
That more often than ever
I will question you if you me love too
Then I'll doubt you if you do
I'll accuse you of using me
Then I'll offer myself to be used
I will shunt between 2 shades
There is no grey for me
Will you love me truly, even then?
Cause your love will make all the difference.

Will you love me if I said
I have Bipolar (Disorder)
That my mood swings like a pendulum
That I will drive you mad
Or make you sad
Or I'll laugh till I drop
That you will never understand
Who I am today
Dealing with my situation
Will depress you.
I can literally **** your life out too.
Will you love me truly, even then?
Cause your love will make all the difference.

Will you love me if I said
I have NPD
(Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
That I will always think of me
That my dreams and aspirations will be so big
I wont have time for empathy
That I left my childhood behind
So don't bug me with sensitivity
I am afraid of your committment
Cause no one can hold me still
Will you love me truly, even then?
Cause your love will make all the difference.

Will you love me if I said
I am terminally ill
That my pain is unbearable
My hope has dimmed out too
And I can see no end to my misery
But even though my life's a thread
I really want to have a full life again
I want to be able to trade my pain
If someone would only be game.
But I know it is not possible
Hence I ask for what is
Will you love me truly, even then?
Cause your love will make all the difference.


You see this world's bursting with people who ache!
You and I have the difference to make.

It is so easy to empathize
With someone who pain is visible in daylight
But spare a thought for those who ache inwardly
Trapped in a battle with their minds eccentricity!

If your courage be so strong
That pain not withstanding you choose to bond
Live that life that gives glory
Share that love, that speaks a story

Love ceaselessly, love like it truly is!
Love above humans no one can
Cause loving like HIM,
Needs a supreme hand!
It's so easy to feel love and empathy for those in physical pain and terminally ill people .  But the pain of those broken at heart , broken in their minds goes unnoticed.
Jul 2014 · 870
Gifted Faker!
Twinkle Jul 2014
"I am not a gifted faker like you"
I remember those words each time I see you

You said it so casually and forgot.
But never did it ever leave my heart!

To you it seemed like I could be 2 different persons
Inwardly I know how much courage it took me so.

Can I wear my heart on the sleeve for the world to see?
Is this what you want me to be, bare all for you?

Life is not been the same, since those days, I swear
I will not return to those memories of hurt again.

I fake it because, I need to make it through another day
You are here today, and somewhere else you'll be tomorrow

But I need to go on living and cannot stop for you.
You cannot take that away from me, my desire!

My dreams, my hopes, my ambitious are all I have
Paper boats and pipe dreams you may call it
But it is still my very own, my identity and a part of me

You on the other hand, outsider, stood by and smiled on
Never took the courage to dig deeper.
Shallow it may be for you
Afraid the road was steeper
A mess you never wanted to deal with
A part you never wanted to play.

Hence, I moved on, put a bright face and cheered on
Stronger you made me by your test
Till I could stand apart
from my feelings and look at it like the rest
I am fool to take you so seriously
You were having fun at my expense
Hence now, I can fake it and make believe
I can see it affects you now,
Why is it not the old me?
Jul 2014 · 667
Right now!
Twinkle Jul 2014
I want to share with you a part of my heart
That part which is secretly longing to be by your side

I feel like a love struck kid
Giddy headed and light
Cause I am seeing stars in bright day light
And when u smile my world sparkles a thousand times

All I can do is look at you
Hear not the words that are coming through
I see your lips moving and forming words
But all I thinking of is those beautiful curves

I see you, but I am looking through
Of dreamy times, you and I'll be together soon
I cannot wait what time shall bring.
Distant futures seem too far
Right now..right now with you is where I want to be!
Jul 2014 · 1.2k
Locked in my heart!
Twinkle Jul 2014
I woke up this morning
Thinking I’ll put u away from my thoughts
Think of brighter things
And work my way out

I tried to escape thinking about you
And bang! your picture flashed into my mind
All I could see was your smiling eyes
Teasing me asking me “How was I?”

How can I be?  How should I be?
Now that you’ve invaded my soul
My tears have gone dry
and there is no more of me left to cry

I thought I was strong
I thought I could stand my ground
But your smile made small of my defenses
Broke down the walls of my pretenses

You wanted me to lower my guard
Bare my heart and connect with your soul
I did and see now what’s left
Not a shred of hope you've bestowed

Ran away like the first flight
My word scared you out of your mind
You turned and blamed me for your plight
Said I was weird and irrational at worst
When all that was happening was making me loose control

I did not want to tell you how I felt
Knew you’d never understand
You’d not expect me to feel like this
Kept getting defensive and more
Up to a point I could take no more

Your words kept raining down a storm
Swirling and tossing me on a high shores.
Drowning me in my ocean of tears
Then I decided to stop
Refuse to let you hold my heart ransom anymore

I surrender to what you want to think of me
I am just a game you wanted to play
You win, I lose! that’s how it was meant to be.

I cannot change anything
I cannot want you back
But keeping you sheltered and locked in my heart
Is the only place where you cannot depart!
Twinkle Jul 2014
Wash my soul Oh beautiful spring!
Wash it away of its stains
How I long and wish to be made clean
and how I wish to be sane

For Thou art purity and
For in you is tranquillity
For in you is my peace of mind.

Wash my soul Oh beautiful spring
Wash it away of its stains
Lord I know not what to say
and the only way I know,
is YOUR Way of Life.

I look to you with eyes thirsting
That you should know me this deep!
More than human, more than evil
Two sides of the same coin, I can be.

How far I walked away from the one who did care.
and wandered beyond darkened shores.
Where only grief and despair would claw against my soul.
A dead end, a drop and not a hope for sure.

I immerse my brokenness in your sway
and confess my grief so deep.
Oh cover me with your tender love
and help me to sleep.

Oh how, deeply I mourn this separation
What did I do! that I should not have done?
And you ne’r a word did say
Only looking at me with soulful eyes
To say “I do care”.

But once in your embrace Oh Life
Not a care shall worry me.
For my past behind you make me leave
and give me the treat of a Life.
I float in your magical embrace
and lifted high I rejoice

I had once blocked your love through sin
And you swept away my shame.
Now flow through me Oh Living Waters
and wash me in your wave
For I shall be made all clean
and you shall wash away my stains.

You give me a chance to renew and replenish
and with your love you set me anew.
Oh radiate in me Live Living Waters
For your love, to shine through me

A life so clean and washed and blessed
I shall find in your deepest crest.
When made clean by the spring of life
I shall come to rest at shores divine.
I wandered far away from the ONE who really loves me, My Lord and Savior JESUS. Want to be washed with his forgiveness and Love.
Jul 2014 · 412
If love you I must
Twinkle Jul 2014
If love you I must,  then I need to do it freely
For loving you is freeing my soul
without control and fear
for what could be more beautiful than this feeling
that makes me cry and laugh, at the same time
so intense two feelings so deep within my heart
I cannot gauge, I cannot fathom
how strongly I feel, when love overcomes the imperfect
and all I can see is the beauty of the person besides me
for what eyes cannot see, nor senses feel
the connection of souls at a level that’s ethereal
You will never know this burning
You will never know this ache
How I long to tell you, but words fail
Is there anything that can translate feelings
in words so imperfect, that seem meager at best
to express what I burst of love I feel
when our souls interact.
Jul 2014 · 1.7k
Unspoken words
Twinkle Jul 2014
I guess u r leaving me behind
all that u have given of yourself to me
those memories u have caused with your laughter ,
your playfulness and exbuerance for life
I will miss, the fine juxtapose your presence created

You have changed me beyond myself
Though outwardly calm I may appear
This pretense I can hold on no longer
While inwardly I sear…and long..for u.

Go on move on, I cannot hold on to you forever
You are a free soul and nothing can stop your force

Momentarily I basked in your fond attention
your eyes searing my soul
Awakening in me a realization I myself did not know.

I thank you for those fond moments
Etched forever in my heart and soul
of your tenderness and the love that never spoke a word.
Unspoken emotions, searing the soul!
Jul 2014 · 2.6k
You bring out the best in me
Twinkle Jul 2014
“I like it when u laugh and enjoy life” You said
You opened my eyes and heart to the beauty around me
Those soulful eyes that drank my pain my thirst and emptiness

I have never felt so wonderfully alive
In your company, I feel transcendence..
You bring out the best in me.

I never myself knew, how adept at words I could be
Till the words I penned below.

Charming and poetic and magical your every demeanor has been
I know not if it is pretense or you really too feel so.
I am willing to risk this pain for a blithe share in your glory
Abandon my fears and live a little longer
For sooner my eyes shall open and I face reality
In your company I am heedless and free..
Written March 2014.
Twinkle Jul 2014
Somewhere inside of you
There is a small boy too

A boy who wants to be loved
A boy who wants his hair to be ruffled
Who lost his childhood
Only remembers his struggle

A boy whose eyes still hold
Dreams that he once cherished
Dreams that help him soar
Above his agony so un-bearish

He held on to that piece of sanity
Hoping his dreams would soon become a reality
Before long, the world and its wisdom came knocking on his door
Woke him out of his slumber
Shattered his tower and covered in fear!

So he now hides behind, doors made of steel
Reinforced with ideas that he's built his reserve
He doesn't need your love
He doesn't need your smile
You see his attitude is enough to suffice.

But catch him when he's down and defenseless
And you'll see the glimpse of a child so helpless
Who is longing and yearning to be accepted by you
With arms stretched out simply crying silent tears
One who'll never tell you his worst fears.

It takes that kind of woman to see through his facade
The strong walls of his towers are crumbling again
But he fears this loss, his control over his sanity
Its not long before, his succumbs to his frailty.
This poem is for all the men out there, many misunderstood, many putting up a facade, hiding behind steel walls, afraid to let go and love!
Twinkle Jul 2014
Getting my thoughts together
I wonder what it takes
To bring together all the emotions that flood inside of me
That can barely scratch the surface.

When I see people able to pen their thoughts
I struggle to understand, how they can
Cause for me, words are puny translators
for they cannot even fathom, the burst of what I feel inside

Even though I close my eyes and try to remember
What I was going to write, Words clearly fail me
and I drift on to distant shores

It seems just like yesterday when you held my hand
And my eyes beheld your love so clearly
Deeply embedded within my heart
I could feel your tangibility though physically miles apart.

I struggle with words and this is something new
Cause I never felt a loss of words before
For something that I always knew.

Knowing you is still not sufficient,
cause I feel so much I need to know
It is funny how I know you inwardly
though externally, there none to show.

You may speak your words of pretense
And set up a strong defense
But I know you truly and what you are longing for

You want a word of comfort
You desire a moment of joy
You desire to find a friend
Who would comfort you day and night

You need someone to supplement
The burst of emotions you feel
You are so trapped because
you don't know how to heal.

Come walk into my arms
Cause I am waiting for you
Gather you tenderly and shelter you anew.

But you see, this is exactly what I fear
Cause my words may not be that clear
And betray my sense of helplessness
For the choice of words I use!
Have you ever felt this helpless not being able to convey in words, what u want to say.  And the rush of words sounded stupid and inadequate!
Jul 2014 · 1.4k
Farewell my love
Twinkle Jul 2014
Is it my imagination or is your rudeness warranted
I don’t believe I have a “use-n-throw” written on my heart
Cause if I remember you felt this connection distinct
Without words, without saying a thing.

Tell me how, then the connections reset.
Your words like knife cutting my rest.

Pesky and pushy I may be to your eyes
But I don’t think it was like this sometime back
You’d write to ask me why I was quiet
What’s happened now, why the fight?

A torn chapter I may seem in your book of life
But, for me it was more than that..
Its easy for you to break my heart
I can see that’s just your way to start

Fickle, is your love I can see
Because you didn’t have your way with me.

You see you couldn’t stand the test
I was right, to have bade the time.
For your true colors have now surfaced.
I was nothing but a game at best.

You didn’t succeed and so your wrath has now descended on me
"Ignore", is your best weapon against me.

Try as you might to cut me deep into two.
I will not respond as you want me to.
For my love was not fickle and not blithe
For I truly loved and love you and not on hindsight.

I did what I could do, never wanted to fool you.
Why should I tell you what is not true?
For I rather cut my heart out than feed you a lie.

You know this love was dead before it began.
I still did let my heart that fanciful flight
Hoping that you would understand my plight.

Now I can see, all too clearly.
I do not want to say it, but is shinning fiercely
Yet, I will never judge your attitude
For who am I, someone you never held close.

So adieu, adieu, may our paths never cross
I am leaving you with these words, my very last.

May God bless you my love…may you find your hearts desire
May you find what you are truly looking for
For in your happiness, I shall find my fire
Not a wicked word shall cross my lips
For you, forever…..
Can you love someone so much, that you can say goodbye, so they can go find what they are looking for, if its not you?
Twinkle Jul 2014
You've done it again! Time and again
First hook and then reel
Then hurt and release
Lay the blame squarely on me

You take me for a fool
A gullible idiot!
Who'll swallow your lies
And buy your story each time

I am not part of your life anymore
but  I need to get on with mine
So be sure to burn the bridges
Cause I am not turning back anytime.

You will always do what it takes
To hold my heart ransom
Cause that's such a causal approach
It doesn't take much to strategize

I struggled each day and night
To swallow my pain and get on
But depression sunk its deadly hooks
My flesh was skinned and bare
My groaning heard none
Cause outwardly I appeared just fine.

But you conveniently forgot what u had done
And walked back without a care
For a doormat you take me
So can you step on my despair

You think I am waiting around
For you to do the same things again
Forgive you, for your wrongs and
get back from where we left?

Change your thinking!
Cause that's never gonna happen
I have forgiven, but forgotten not
I cannot forget or let go
For your lessons are deeply entrenched
And well learn't
One that has a lasting impression
My mind wont let it go.

Subconsciously I know your capacity
to hurt me time and again
Cause you feed on my feelings
To supplement the ones you lack

Grow up, own up, about time u realized.
You can't play me and think its fine!
It is time to stop that someone who holds your life ransom and recklessly destroys your peace, and think they can walk back and begin as if nothing transpired ever!
Jul 2014 · 2.8k
Heartache
Twinkle Jul 2014
Each day when I think of the way you hurt me
when my heart wrenches in pain.
I think of what I did to deserve this
When u know that there was no other way.

I don’t know why u can hold my heart ransom
Crush it with unkind gesture of yours
When I loved you so truly and madly and
didn’t think even once of the loss

U see it is I who stand to loose from what you’ve done
Cause for me there can be no one
not after what you have done
The doors of my heart have closed forever
Never will these open again for anyone.

For you this was just an attempt to see if your charm worked
For me this was a soul shaker, the one that changed me forever.

I resisted every attempt of yours
For your eyes scorched me day and night
Still I bore down your charm
and stood my ground alright.

Our chemistry was in the air you see
We could never hide it from prying eyes
Any blind man could have told
they way we looked into each others eyes.

I fought and resisted you for long
And thought I was strong
Till that fateful day when
I decided I would have it my way

But fate would wish another way
For the day I decide to part
That was the very day I lost my heart.

Your fun and jokes and childish pranks
Your endless teasing had me in splits
You knew very well that
it was beginning to grow in you as well.
A strange feeling of falling head over heels.

We were one and we did not need those words
Until you started expecting me to cross my limits
Limits I had set long ago, and you knew
I would never never cross them for anyone.

What did you want me to say, say that I love you
I already did it a million times
Didn’t my eyes say it all.
You knew you felt it too.
But now, I don’t know what’s wrong with you.

I am done with the deciphering
I am done with your cold ways
I am done with your pushing me around
I am never going to stay that way

For all that could have been done is done and over
My Lord, my energy’s drained and u have run me over.

I wept and cried and wondered why I deserved this fate.
You see miscommunication is to blame that closed the gate

For I cannot reconcile the same heart that rent sweet words
were tossing me out cold and dry.

I could not let u go for you were the sweetest thing my eyes beheld,
and I did love u truly, but you’ll never understand.

Its over now..what a mess!
The only prayer that escapes my lips

May our paths never cross again!
For I cannot afford loose my heart again.
Jul 2014 · 696
If only you would know
Twinkle Jul 2014
If only you would know, what I feel
how much I try not to.
Can u stop a river flowing
Or rein in the wind

Somethings just happen and it has happened to me
But I won’t even voice my deepest fears
so as not to face the reality that’s biting me

How I struggle and despair at the bonds that bind me
mentally and emotionally wrecked
Not knowing where to turn and how to handle
the grip it has on me worse than a vise

No freedom I feel and I want to break free
Twisting and turning and shifting between
two different shadows of fears

Whom can I call on to whom can I turn
I don't want it and I don't want to face it
Run is what my heart says, but cold are my feet
dead in its tracks and yet weightless

A curse!  A purge! What is it? I want to know!
Cannot fathom this searing tearing me part
Cold alone and empty, wishing I never could feel
Wanting to shut the drumming inside my head
and the pounding within my heart

Memories flash by me, strike me dead
loosing control and balance and falling
and upsetting the fine line I am walking.

Dreaming with eyes open, though
mindless voices shout around me
I see your face clearly, like you are right besides me
then I blank out, cross out, tell myself you fool
you are not a part of his life, he will never know….
Is it right to love so one so much and not be able to tell?
Jul 2014 · 2.0k
Connectedness
Twinkle Jul 2014
I lay my head on your heart
I hear your heart beat so close
The sound of your breathing fills my senses
The sound of heart beating strokes my soul

Why do I feel this connection?
Like the universe is in your arms
When enveloped by your senses
I seem to loose my calm

How peaceful and one I feel
with you truly by my side!
The power of the feelings you evoke
The connectedness I feel with you so sublime!

The words you are saying
are born inside my heart
but the script is on your tongue
Our hearts are so welded
that the language of love is one.
Jul 2014 · 4.1k
It takes 2 to tango
Twinkle Jul 2014
You are silent and so am I
You think you've been let down
And so do I

The truth however is
We both scared to risk it all
We both don't know what's to become
If we just let go of our bubble and
Float back to the ground!
Jul 2014 · 545
Emptiness
Twinkle Jul 2014
The emptiness has come back to haunt me
I can sense it nearing me
Catching up with me
I know what it did to me last time

Lord I run to you this time
And I ask you to hold me in your fold
Shelter me from this vicious grip
The feeling of being wanted
The need so deep within

Those cruel words now haunt me
Hurtful, sharp words that cut my soul
I never forget how alone I felt
Faltering and tripping in my own lost world
Angry and defensive and clawing around
Wanting to stop the agony and pain

Funny how people judge you
Funny how you need to wear a mask to look normal
Funny how you need to pretend at all times
When inside you are breaking down.

This time I’ll fight back
Cause I know your game
You can’t play me twice
and think it’s a simple game.

I know your tricks
I know your trade
I know you weapons
I know your gaze!

I am wearing my armour now
Armour of peace and calm
Ruffle me with your storm
Toss me around your charm

It’s not going to work
You might as well accept
Your words will not have any effect
Cause I don’t subscribe
To your measurement of me!
For inwardly you see
I am in love with me!
Jul 2014 · 1.8k
Without you!
Twinkle Jul 2014
How I struggle each moment
to live life without you
Since u have shut the door on me
Life’s barren twist I see

The road ahead is long and deary
And my strength fades faster
Every scratch of sanity I hang on to
Hoping praying today’s not my last!

I don’t want to give up
But I can’t face another day
When memories of our togetherness
Haunt me everyday.

Your smile, your twinkling eyes
You is what I long for
The spaces between my fingers
Want to feel you near
To feel your heart beating
Close to mine.

Try as much I, to push u away
You are always in my thoughts
I realize, I love you with every
fibre of my being
And even if that is not enough
My heart I will place at your feet.

— The End —